anime

I’m quiet on the outside
An all-wrecking, raging storm on the inside
I can’t speak,
Because I fear I can only produce inhuman cries
But my inner screams overwhelm any external sound
I don't blame tu for not seeing behind my hollow eyes
I don't blame tu for not hearing anything but silence
And I don't blame tu for not feeling my corazón breaking in my chest, over and over again
But I wish tu would just hold me, and tell me I'll be okay.
That somehow, this all-consuming pain is not going to kill me.
That I will come out of this, stronger.
I wish I could distance myself from this destruction,
But I belong in the center of the hurricane
Because I need this pain, like I need oxygen
So, let my ravel in my agony,
Without it I am nothing

Chapter 1:The begaining

It started with the fighting,the endless fighting.It was mid Febuary 2001 when a couple with a small boy and another child on the way,split.They had been aurguing for hours on end and the husband,Jason,decided to leave and live with a friend for a while.While the wife,Sandra,cried and wept to no avail Jason left.Jason had contracted pnemonia and was placed in a hospital only days after his fight with Sandra.Sandra was also in the hospital but for a different reason,she had dado birth to a girl named Emily.And that was the begaining of Emily's life,a life full of sadness and missery that will come to a halt and be cut short por the evil hands of fate and the mind.

A silhouette standing alone,
Amongst a field of arid snow,
Waiting for something still unknown,
Not any further from the tombstone.

Awaiting a sign of life and hope,
Letting out a deep sigh,
“It’s not getting any easier to cope”
A whisper carried por the wind.

The stars: my aspirations,
But city lights in the distance,
Taunted it from their foundations,
Caustic lights ending its existence.

An unattached shadow standing in solitude,
Amongst a field of caustic cold,
Tired of waiting, wanting to end,
I was everything untold.

tell me why do tu pretend
to let the agonizing memories
of your damaged past let tu
be the person that tu are
now,

please let your body,
mind, heart, soul,and
feelings escape the
tragic night-mares and
feel my: "etreindre de'
amour" around tu for-
ever.

my etreindre de' amour
is what i can offer to you,
through this time that you
will feel from me.

will tu feel my ever-
lasting touch of amor as
tu grieve over the lost
memories and moments
that tu never gotten back.

let me take your
emphasized wounds
and give them to the
crumbling world that
never lets tu feel the
amor that tu need to
feel in your life now.

but tu look for my
casual-words that will
give tu strength that
tu need to go on with
your life.

your endless obession
for living this lie trying
to get past this pain, that
will forever remains inside
your soul now.

My anger came that day,
i tried to stay calm through
it all but my emotions just
gave way without me telling
them too.

She saw my frustration
taking shape and took
me in her loving arms
and told me it would be
okay.

I knew that my personal
emotions would show,that
i would pretend not to be
upset, and playing them
off as casual-words and not
the hurtful words as to what
they sounded to me.

I wanted to barricade
myself inside my head
and listen to those supposed
hurtful words that were being
dicho about me,

The thoughts that raced
through my mind were not
the words that i heard coming out
of his mouth that day,

All i can say to tu is
that i accused him of
being wrong and that
was unfair for me to do,

I look out my window the rains pouring down
I can't seem to turn this frown upside down
tu moved far out of town
Now I have no one around

I used to amor tu
Sadly tu don't amor me too
Pain and agony runs through me
So much tu can see

But not you, tu only look for my happiness
but I'm out and in distress
tu want the green fresh from the press
I just want to be better than the rest

Attention is what I want
But all tu give is a load of taunt
Are tu ready for love
Not really, so I'll get a dove

A dove's the bird of passion and feelings
But tu left me to rot like a banana's peelings
Sweet lover, I miss tu
Do tu miss me too?

Sweet Lover, give me your all
Don't let it fall
Give me a call
I get nothing at all

Sweet love, Goodbye
I will amor tu always *sigh*


Signed,

Your Sweet Lover

My corazón is filled with sorrow and pain
tu hurt me for your own gain
But I'm moving on to greater things
No matter how much your words sting


I'll always amor tu
But why couldn't tu say I amor tu too
Keep moving is what I tell myself
Crying my eyes out all por myself


I'm gone for good not coming back
Go in the closet my clothes are off the rack
My pain goes with me wherever I go
I wanna go back but my corazón says no


Tell me do miss me
Probably not because your searching for your key
Don't tu miss having me around
If not then but now too late I'm out of town

Sometimes I don't understand
I disconnect my corazón and my head

why
why things happen to the people they happen to
why people hurt other people
why we, he, she got hurt
why tu hurt me the way-
pardon me-the ways tu did
no twelve año old should be hurt and treated the way I was
no one should be hurt and treated the way I was
and I know I danced around the truth
and I know I covered up your tracks
your lyin', cheatin', abusin' ass

tu hurt me
but, as they say,
pain demands to be felt

Shard of glass
drops the blood
Could have saved me?
No one
Empty promises
washed down the drain
Memories cut deep
harmful even in sleep
I'm always alone
in this broken home
There's to much blood
I'm not safe
in this nightmare.













~Kayla


















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