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Edward and I have been spending más time alone lately. It was beginning to feel like we never spent time alone, just the two of us. I began to miss the nights Edward would come through my window and sit on my cama with me until I fell asleep. In the morning he’d do a good job of making me turn bright red when he would tell me what I was saying in my sleep, too. It was always his name I called, though, and I wasn’t ashamed.
The best thing about not having to sleep, is that there’s más time to be awake with Edward. I would feel like a weak, diminutive human when I would inevitably lose the battle and my lids would droop shut for eight hours, taking me away from the God-like beautiful statue sitting perfectly still on the cama siguiente to me. I didn’t like being away from him, even to sleep.
Though I’m forever grateful for Edward turning me, making me immortal so we could be together indefinitely - I still do miss being delicate to him. Oddly enough, I miss watching Edward struggle to keep me alive. In an almost sick way, his struggle made me feel cherished. Everyday I watched him restrain himself from turning me into nothing but a drained, lifeless body. Everyday that Edward fought to control himself, made me feel closer to him.
The memories are vague, but the feelings seem vibrant. It seems like only yesterday when Edward first tried besar me without mangling me and enjoying my blood as a late night snack. I don’t remember specific details, but I remember how I felt. The rush, the adrenaline… the intoxicating, overwhelming amor that I felt. I still feel just as strongly, too.
Jacob has been growing even más attached to Nessie lately. I really didn’t think it was actually possible for him to become más devoted to our angel, but somehow he has. Sometimes, Edward and I have to almost pry her away from him. I worry that they will become so dependent on each other that they might miss out on other things in life. They are happiest when they’re together, though. Rosalie keeps insisting that it’s unhealthy. She thinks Jacob is making Nessie dependent on him. Nessie’s smart, though. She has not only grown extremely fast physically, but mentally, too. She’s smart. Almost shockingly smart, actually.
Before we leave Forks, Edward and I want to look back on everything that brought us to where we are now. Late at night, we’ve been going to Forks High, just to hang out. Usually, I drive us there in my now remodeled ‘53 Chevrolet Pickup Truck. We sit in the truck and reminisce on times when things were different. Before I knew about Edward’s life… what he was. Before I was turned.
My favorito! thing so far, though, was when Edward and I went back to my old room in Forks and he kissed me on my bed, slowly… cautiously. Though he didn’t need to be cautious, he wanted to be, to remind me of how it used to be. The memories of that night came rushing back, flooding my head, intoxicating me. Then, we laid down in my old bed, and I drowned myself in Edward’s arms. Of course this time I wasn’t able to actually fall asleep in Edward’s arms - because we don’t sleep, but just laying in my old bed, with him, felt amazing.
It’s going to be hard leaving this town behind. Moving to this town, to Forks, changed my life forever. If I hadn’t have moved here, I would have still been living my same, boring life. I would have never found him, my perfect, breathtaking husband.
Edward promised we would come back for visits, though. Probably late at night when everyone’s in cama sleeping - but it doesn’t matter. Just being back in Forks once in a while will be enough to make me happy.
It’s funny how life can change so fast. My first night living in Forks, I cried myself to sleep. I hated it here. After I met Edward, though, nothing could have taken me away from this small, gloomy town. Nothing. Not even a vicious blood-thirsty, red haired vampire who wanted to kill me after James was destroyed.
Edward and I are going back to the meadow tomorrow. He has another surprise for me. Great. I’m getting used to his surprises, though, to be honest. I still get a little bit bitter, initially, but I get over it. I have a surprise for Edward, too, actually. I want to give him something from before I was turned. Something special.
For now, though, I’m going to go get Nessie ready for bedtime. Jacob, Edward and I usually tuck her in together. Jacob lingers until she actually falls asleep, which is actually quite sweet. Even Edward agrees that Jacob has a good heart. His only concern seems to be Nessie’s happiness. He truly loves her más than life itself.
I will let tu know what Edward’s surprise was when I write again siguiente week. And, of course, I’ll tell tu all what my surprise for Edward is, too.
-Bella
