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Read this & give me feedback , I will give apoyar

I will give apoyar no matter if tu say it sucks o whatever. I wrote this a few months hace , just found it in my closet floor ?

I stared at Lucas through the window. He was screaming at the parte superior, arriba of his lungs for me to open the door. He still hadn't noticed me. Seeing him like this only made me cry harder. "Open the damn door!" He yells and kicks the door. I was actually half scared to open it. I'd never seen Luke this mad before, ever. I took a deep breath and opened the door. His eyes got big and his jaw dropped. "Scarlet- did he do that to you?" His voice changed from complete rage to softness. He touched the dark purple bruise on my cheek gently.

That's all I have right now. - thanks for lectura (:
 Allieee posted hace más de un año
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ScottishChic said:
I don't need any apoyar but I think that it is pretty good actually. Of course, it'll make más sense once tu write más of the story, such as to tell us who "he" is. And of course who the characters are etc. But it is quite good!
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posted hace más de un año 
MissKnowItAll said:
I actually really like this! There's some tense confusion in places, but as tu editar that'll all be sorted.

I'd amor to read more.
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posted hace más de un año 
writer67 said:
as his fingers caresed the bruise the pain faded as well as the injury as if it never happened. the one that allowed the strike is now a toad, wanting a kiss to return for another chance, and to sign the sorry book! he gave his word to always be happy and peaceful o he would have to wear a fairy dress to the drive thru. yours is the great start, keep going, sad yes. hopefuly tu have she lives happily ever after.;-] later
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posted hace más de un año 
snusnu13 said:
Wow.....I like it, I think it's good. I want to read more, and I especially want to find out who "he" is. Keep writing, it's great!
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posted hace más de un año 
*
yeah he sounds hot lol
bangelfan posted hace más de un año
nan0 said:
Nice it good but más detail!
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posted hace más de un año 
Aquamarina said:
It's quite short, but pretty good in my opinion. Just be careful not to skip between past and presence :)
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posted hace más de un año 
fuzz1890 said:
It's cool, I've liked it :) I like your style. Do tu have more?
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posted hace más de un año 
txter32 said:
Oooh it makes me so curious!!! I luvvvvv it!


p.s. tu should really write more!!!
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posted hace más de un año 
bcthestrongest said:
its pretty good i amor it
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posted hace más de un año 
rantora13 said:
it was actully okay,the way u described wut had happend without actually telling wut happend was wut mad the story better,and the sense of hostility and rage helped,differ the guys true fellings twords the girl. but i say make más to the story cant wait for más i would like to see what had actually happend.
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posted hace más de un año 
2dolphn97 said:
wow. ive gotta hand it to you, u make me want more. i wanna know who he is. i bet hes a hot jerk. how did u find it in r closet? can u give me a plot so i can see if its fantasía o romance o wat?

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posted hace más de un año 
Werewolves4Life said:
i amor it!!!!!!!!!
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posted hace más de un año 
rAsberrStrarS said:
Thats a really good piece of writing. I mean i'm not just saying that i actually mean it. That could progress into a fab book o whichever. I would read it personally.Good Luck with possibly finishing it if tu plan to. U sound like a great writer. x
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posted hace más de un año 
Ms_Mea said:
Not bad. I actually liked it :) tu should continue it and then post it. It was actually quite good.
My only feedback is maybe a few más details, and the words "half scared" kind of ruined the mood. Slightly frightened may have worked better probably, o something else. And tu should probably replace "softness" with another word. That's my only feedback. Hope I helped :)
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posted hace más de un año 
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