Wind: (Sitting at home)
Cody: (Bangs on his door) OH FAGG-O
Wind: (Opens the door) …… What
Cody: We don’t have school today. And I have the feeling that tu may know why
Wind: (Thinks about it)
(Yesterday)
Wind: (Watches the left school wing burning) Well, that’s what tu get for putting me in chemistry class
(Present)
Wind: Nope. No idea
James: Well, tu want to go get some lunch
Wind: Um (Turns over to his cabinet, remembering that he has no food) Fine. But tu guys are buying
Cody: No, seriously, there was this ghost around here
Wind: Sure it wasn’t a klansman?
Cody: No, it was a ghost. I swear
Wind: Whatever
(They stop to see a man on a building)
Wind: What’s going on
Rich Man: Oh, just a suicidal man
Wind: Well, where are the motivational speakers trying to stop him
Rich Man: Are tu serious? Me and the others are betting on what bones he’ll brake. My guess is none because he’ll pussy out
Wind: Wow, what a dick
Cody: Did Wind seriously call someone a dick
Suicidal Man: I can’t do it anymore
James: Wind, do something
Wind: Why me?
James: Well, you’re good with people
Wind: Sadly (To the suicidal man) Hey… What are tu doing
Suicidal Man: I’m a failure and want to end my sad existence
Wind: What makes tu say that
Suicidal Man: My wife left me, and I can’t handle the loss
Wind: …. (To James and Cody) Wow, what a sad fuck
Cody: Wind!
Wind: Fine, I’ll get him off some other way. Does anyone have a musical device
(Everyone takes out their phones)
Wind: Alright
(Looks through them)
Wind: This song will work
(Plays camioneta, van Halen's “Jump”)
James: Wind! What the-
Suicidal Man: I-is that camioneta, van Halen’s Jump?
Wind: …… Yes?
Suicidal Man: I amor camioneta, van Halen. camioneta, van Halen is like a god to me
Wind: Well….. That’s just it, I guess. Life is worth living. As long as tu have something to love, tu shouldn’t have to worry
Suicidal Man: But… I don’t know if I can love
Wind: Honestly, I think you’re wife was a cunt. tu can’t amor a cunt. tu can only amor someone who is acceptable for reproduction. That o an inanimate object in a non-sexual way
Suicidal Man: You’re right. You’re absolutely right. There is much to amor in life. In fact, I think that I can still love-
Police: Yeah, we see the suicidal guy. Once he’s down, we’ll take him to the asylum
Suicidal Man: (Walking with the cops) I amor life so much
Police: Of course tu do, buddy. Now, just take this
Suicidal Man: What’s this? An aspirin
Police: Suuuure
Suicidal Man: (Takes it) Wow, I feel gre- (Passes out)
Police: Okay, let’s get this guy in a straightjacket right away
Wind: … Well, I guess depression is insanity nowadays
James: I’m so glad tu helped that man
Wind: And got him sent to the nuthouse for the rest of his life. I think suicide would have been merciful
Gamblers: So, what now
Rich Man: Well, I bet that he would pussy out and not break anything… Which is exactly what happened. So I win (Takes the money) It’s true what they say. The rich really DO get richer
Gambler: What a bunch of bullshit
Klansman: Even a racist piece of shit like me thinks that guy is an asshole
Cody: (Bangs on his door) OH FAGG-O
Wind: (Opens the door) …… What
Cody: We don’t have school today. And I have the feeling that tu may know why
Wind: (Thinks about it)
(Yesterday)
Wind: (Watches the left school wing burning) Well, that’s what tu get for putting me in chemistry class
(Present)
Wind: Nope. No idea
James: Well, tu want to go get some lunch
Wind: Um (Turns over to his cabinet, remembering that he has no food) Fine. But tu guys are buying
Cody: No, seriously, there was this ghost around here
Wind: Sure it wasn’t a klansman?
Cody: No, it was a ghost. I swear
Wind: Whatever
(They stop to see a man on a building)
Wind: What’s going on
Rich Man: Oh, just a suicidal man
Wind: Well, where are the motivational speakers trying to stop him
Rich Man: Are tu serious? Me and the others are betting on what bones he’ll brake. My guess is none because he’ll pussy out
Wind: Wow, what a dick
Cody: Did Wind seriously call someone a dick
Suicidal Man: I can’t do it anymore
James: Wind, do something
Wind: Why me?
James: Well, you’re good with people
Wind: Sadly (To the suicidal man) Hey… What are tu doing
Suicidal Man: I’m a failure and want to end my sad existence
Wind: What makes tu say that
Suicidal Man: My wife left me, and I can’t handle the loss
Wind: …. (To James and Cody) Wow, what a sad fuck
Cody: Wind!
Wind: Fine, I’ll get him off some other way. Does anyone have a musical device
(Everyone takes out their phones)
Wind: Alright
(Looks through them)
Wind: This song will work
(Plays camioneta, van Halen's “Jump”)
James: Wind! What the-
Suicidal Man: I-is that camioneta, van Halen’s Jump?
Wind: …… Yes?
Suicidal Man: I amor camioneta, van Halen. camioneta, van Halen is like a god to me
Wind: Well….. That’s just it, I guess. Life is worth living. As long as tu have something to love, tu shouldn’t have to worry
Suicidal Man: But… I don’t know if I can love
Wind: Honestly, I think you’re wife was a cunt. tu can’t amor a cunt. tu can only amor someone who is acceptable for reproduction. That o an inanimate object in a non-sexual way
Suicidal Man: You’re right. You’re absolutely right. There is much to amor in life. In fact, I think that I can still love-
Police: Yeah, we see the suicidal guy. Once he’s down, we’ll take him to the asylum
Suicidal Man: (Walking with the cops) I amor life so much
Police: Of course tu do, buddy. Now, just take this
Suicidal Man: What’s this? An aspirin
Police: Suuuure
Suicidal Man: (Takes it) Wow, I feel gre- (Passes out)
Police: Okay, let’s get this guy in a straightjacket right away
Wind: … Well, I guess depression is insanity nowadays
James: I’m so glad tu helped that man
Wind: And got him sent to the nuthouse for the rest of his life. I think suicide would have been merciful
Gamblers: So, what now
Rich Man: Well, I bet that he would pussy out and not break anything… Which is exactly what happened. So I win (Takes the money) It’s true what they say. The rich really DO get richer
Gambler: What a bunch of bullshit
Klansman: Even a racist piece of shit like me thinks that guy is an asshole