Sonic: Huh… I wonder what this speed boost does (Steps on the boost and is launched down the street) Wow! I can go extra fast! Hmmm.
(1 hora Later)
Sonic: (Sets up an entire set of speed boosts) Alright, let’s go (Steps on the speed boosts and runs super fast, but soon ends up running too fast) (Sonic runs down the street)
Tails: Hey, So- (Sonic runs past him, tearing off Tails’s flesh and leaving his bones)
Sonic: (Runs down the street, destroying vehicles and buildings) (Sonic runs around the entire world multiple times in seconds, destroying cities and killing millions) (Sonic finally slows down) Alright, that was awe- (See’s the destruction he has caused) OH GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE! I’M A MONSTER!
SONIC HAS DESTROYED ALL MANKIND
SCORE: 15356
RING BONUS: 325
WORLDWIDE GENOCIDE BONUS: 7,353,747,105
Chris: Okay, here they come
Sheva: tu think we can take them
Chris: We have to try
(The Majini come toward them)
Chris: Okay, let’s go-
SJW: Hold it right there
Chris: Hey, tu can’t be here. tu gotta get somewhere safe
SJW: If tu keep attacking them like that, what really is safe
Chris: Uh… I’m sorry, what?
SJW: tu really think that gunning down a group of Africans is a good thing
Chris: Miss, they are all infected with the Plaga. They aren’t human anymore
SJW: They aren’t human?! Oh, that is so like tu white males. Always gotta think tu have más power because of the color of your skin. tu men disgust me
Chris: Lady, we are in the middle of an outbreak here. We can’t afford to have tu lecture us on-
SJW: TRIGGERED!
Chris: What are you-
SJW: TRIGGERED! TRIGGERED
(The Majini just stare)
Chris: Can tu stop-
SJW: TRIGGERED! TRIGGERED! TRI- (Chris shoots her in the head)
Majini: Oh, thank God. I thought she’d never shut up
(Devil May Cry)
Dante: Ha! These demons think they got what it takes! Well, I’d like to see them try
(DMC: Devil May Cry)
Dante: My dad never let me go to the My Chemical Romance concert! I fucking hate my dad (Uses his sword to cut his wrist)
(Bomberman)
Bomberman: (Blows up a block) Oh boy, a new power-up. I sure am glad to be living in such a peaceful place
(Bomberman: Act Zero)
Bomberman: Why in the hell do I look like a Mega Man Robot Master reject? Seriously, is this a scar on my eye? Why do I have a scar? This ain’t Vietnam.
(Metal Gear Solid 4)
Raiden: I may have lost an arm, but I know that I can still fight
(Metal Gear Rising)
Raiden: HOW THE HELL DID I LOSE más BODY PARTS!?
(Max Payne)
Payne: I will kill any drug dealer that gets in my way
(Max Payne 3)
Payne: Why do I look like I have cancer
(Donkey Kong 64)
Tiny Kong: It sure is lovely to be able to help out the others
(Diddy Kong Racing DS)
Tiny Kong: Oh god, why am I so sexy? HOW am I so sexy?
(Sonic the Hedgehog 3)
Knuckles: I must protect the Master Emerald
(Sonic Boom)
Knuckles: OH GOD, I’M AN ABOMINATION
Trainer: Hey, tu want to battle
Red: Uh… no. I just want to walk to the store
Trainer: Too late. Let’s battle
Red: Ugh, fine. Go, Arceus (Throws out an Arceus)
Trainer: Oh…. tu have an Arceus
Red: Yeah… is there something wrong
Trainer: Well…. I thought tu were going to use a… a real Pokemon
Red: Come on. tu aren’t at the very least intimidated? I mean, I have the God of all Pokemon
Trainer: I’m pretty sure that is just some Lugia and Dialga’s retarded baby
Arceus: My child, I am indeed Arceus
Trainer: Yeah, and Magikarp is the answer to life. Yeah, I’m sure this is some sort of scam
Arceus: Now, my child, I understand tu wishing to turn away from me, but I am sure if tu could see the light-
Trainer: (Uses his Squirtle to shoot bubbles at Arceus)
Arceus: …… Kill the nonbeliever (Destroys the Trainer)
Astronaut: (Lands on the moon) That’s one small step for man. One giant leap fo- (See’s a tree) …. Uh, I’m sorry. What is going on here
Moon Child: I’m so lonely. Would tu like to play with me
Astronaut: What is a child doing on the moon… And what is a árbol doing on the moon… AND WHY IS THE SUN ON THE MOON
Moon Child: Please. Play with me
(The Astronaut is transported to a boss room)
Astronaut: Okay, what is going on
Majora: (Appears, floating above the Astronaut)
Astronaut: ……. AAAH (Majora kills him)
(Meanwhile)
NASA Scientist: (Listens to the Astronauts audio) ….. Yeah, we should just fake the moon landing.
esmeralda Weapon: (Appears in front of the group)
Cloud: Okay guys. We can do this
Tifa: You’re right, Cloud. Let’s just work together
Barrett: Are tu guys serious?
Cloud: What?
Barrett: Seriously. Remember the Turks… and the giant snake… and Jenova
Cloud: What about it?
Barrett: tu and I barely did damage to those creatures with your big culo sword and my freaking machine gun hand, but Tifa managed to destroy all three of them with just a few punches
Cloud: Come on, Barrett. I’m sure it’s a coincidence
Barrett: Fine. Whatever
Cloud: Now, let’s go (Slashes the esmeralda Weapon and does 64 damage)
Barrett: (Shoots a large laser beam at the esmeralda Weapon and does 42 damage)
Tifa: Oh, my turn (Punches the esmeralda Weapon, doing 6056 damage)
Barrett: OH, COME ON!
Pyramid Head: (Walking toward James, with his cleaver screeching across the floor)
James: (Backed against a wall)
Pyramid Head: (Gets closer)
(There is a knock at the door)
Landlord: Mr. Head. It;s your landlord
Pyramid Head: Oh god. Hang on a sec (Opens the door) Hey, how’s it been
Landlord: Pyramid Head, I’ve gotten another noise complaint from you
Pyramid Head: Oh, well, it can’t be that bad
Landlord: Pyramid Head, tu have been living here for eight months and tu have 196 complaints… a day. The other day, tu nearly killed a guy on the roof
Pyramid Head: I thought he was a rat
Landlord: Pyramid Head, tu can’t keep being this irresponsible
Pyramid Head: But I can still keep the rape mannequins, right?
Landlord: …. I want tu out por Friday
(1 hora Later)
Sonic: (Sets up an entire set of speed boosts) Alright, let’s go (Steps on the speed boosts and runs super fast, but soon ends up running too fast) (Sonic runs down the street)
Tails: Hey, So- (Sonic runs past him, tearing off Tails’s flesh and leaving his bones)
Sonic: (Runs down the street, destroying vehicles and buildings) (Sonic runs around the entire world multiple times in seconds, destroying cities and killing millions) (Sonic finally slows down) Alright, that was awe- (See’s the destruction he has caused) OH GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE! I’M A MONSTER!
SONIC HAS DESTROYED ALL MANKIND
SCORE: 15356
RING BONUS: 325
WORLDWIDE GENOCIDE BONUS: 7,353,747,105
Chris: Okay, here they come
Sheva: tu think we can take them
Chris: We have to try
(The Majini come toward them)
Chris: Okay, let’s go-
SJW: Hold it right there
Chris: Hey, tu can’t be here. tu gotta get somewhere safe
SJW: If tu keep attacking them like that, what really is safe
Chris: Uh… I’m sorry, what?
SJW: tu really think that gunning down a group of Africans is a good thing
Chris: Miss, they are all infected with the Plaga. They aren’t human anymore
SJW: They aren’t human?! Oh, that is so like tu white males. Always gotta think tu have más power because of the color of your skin. tu men disgust me
Chris: Lady, we are in the middle of an outbreak here. We can’t afford to have tu lecture us on-
SJW: TRIGGERED!
Chris: What are you-
SJW: TRIGGERED! TRIGGERED
(The Majini just stare)
Chris: Can tu stop-
SJW: TRIGGERED! TRIGGERED! TRI- (Chris shoots her in the head)
Majini: Oh, thank God. I thought she’d never shut up
(Devil May Cry)
Dante: Ha! These demons think they got what it takes! Well, I’d like to see them try
(DMC: Devil May Cry)
Dante: My dad never let me go to the My Chemical Romance concert! I fucking hate my dad (Uses his sword to cut his wrist)
(Bomberman)
Bomberman: (Blows up a block) Oh boy, a new power-up. I sure am glad to be living in such a peaceful place
(Bomberman: Act Zero)
Bomberman: Why in the hell do I look like a Mega Man Robot Master reject? Seriously, is this a scar on my eye? Why do I have a scar? This ain’t Vietnam.
(Metal Gear Solid 4)
Raiden: I may have lost an arm, but I know that I can still fight
(Metal Gear Rising)
Raiden: HOW THE HELL DID I LOSE más BODY PARTS!?
(Max Payne)
Payne: I will kill any drug dealer that gets in my way
(Max Payne 3)
Payne: Why do I look like I have cancer
(Donkey Kong 64)
Tiny Kong: It sure is lovely to be able to help out the others
(Diddy Kong Racing DS)
Tiny Kong: Oh god, why am I so sexy? HOW am I so sexy?
(Sonic the Hedgehog 3)
Knuckles: I must protect the Master Emerald
(Sonic Boom)
Knuckles: OH GOD, I’M AN ABOMINATION
Trainer: Hey, tu want to battle
Red: Uh… no. I just want to walk to the store
Trainer: Too late. Let’s battle
Red: Ugh, fine. Go, Arceus (Throws out an Arceus)
Trainer: Oh…. tu have an Arceus
Red: Yeah… is there something wrong
Trainer: Well…. I thought tu were going to use a… a real Pokemon
Red: Come on. tu aren’t at the very least intimidated? I mean, I have the God of all Pokemon
Trainer: I’m pretty sure that is just some Lugia and Dialga’s retarded baby
Arceus: My child, I am indeed Arceus
Trainer: Yeah, and Magikarp is the answer to life. Yeah, I’m sure this is some sort of scam
Arceus: Now, my child, I understand tu wishing to turn away from me, but I am sure if tu could see the light-
Trainer: (Uses his Squirtle to shoot bubbles at Arceus)
Arceus: …… Kill the nonbeliever (Destroys the Trainer)
Astronaut: (Lands on the moon) That’s one small step for man. One giant leap fo- (See’s a tree) …. Uh, I’m sorry. What is going on here
Moon Child: I’m so lonely. Would tu like to play with me
Astronaut: What is a child doing on the moon… And what is a árbol doing on the moon… AND WHY IS THE SUN ON THE MOON
Moon Child: Please. Play with me
(The Astronaut is transported to a boss room)
Astronaut: Okay, what is going on
Majora: (Appears, floating above the Astronaut)
Astronaut: ……. AAAH (Majora kills him)
(Meanwhile)
NASA Scientist: (Listens to the Astronauts audio) ….. Yeah, we should just fake the moon landing.
esmeralda Weapon: (Appears in front of the group)
Cloud: Okay guys. We can do this
Tifa: You’re right, Cloud. Let’s just work together
Barrett: Are tu guys serious?
Cloud: What?
Barrett: Seriously. Remember the Turks… and the giant snake… and Jenova
Cloud: What about it?
Barrett: tu and I barely did damage to those creatures with your big culo sword and my freaking machine gun hand, but Tifa managed to destroy all three of them with just a few punches
Cloud: Come on, Barrett. I’m sure it’s a coincidence
Barrett: Fine. Whatever
Cloud: Now, let’s go (Slashes the esmeralda Weapon and does 64 damage)
Barrett: (Shoots a large laser beam at the esmeralda Weapon and does 42 damage)
Tifa: Oh, my turn (Punches the esmeralda Weapon, doing 6056 damage)
Barrett: OH, COME ON!
Pyramid Head: (Walking toward James, with his cleaver screeching across the floor)
James: (Backed against a wall)
Pyramid Head: (Gets closer)
(There is a knock at the door)
Landlord: Mr. Head. It;s your landlord
Pyramid Head: Oh god. Hang on a sec (Opens the door) Hey, how’s it been
Landlord: Pyramid Head, I’ve gotten another noise complaint from you
Pyramid Head: Oh, well, it can’t be that bad
Landlord: Pyramid Head, tu have been living here for eight months and tu have 196 complaints… a day. The other day, tu nearly killed a guy on the roof
Pyramid Head: I thought he was a rat
Landlord: Pyramid Head, tu can’t keep being this irresponsible
Pyramid Head: But I can still keep the rape mannequins, right?
Landlord: …. I want tu out por Friday