Wind Reacts to Stupid Stuff on the Internet
Part I: Challenges
“The Drinking Challenge”
Oh yes, because you’ll need to get drunk when your friends are this fucking stupid
“The Boiling Water Challenge”
Unless you’re a langosta at a fancy restaurant, there is no goddamn reason to stick your hand in boiling water
“The fuego Challenge”
What kind of masochistic person lights themselves on fuego for popularity? You’re not Evil Canival goddamn it
“The Driving Challenge”
This is why adults don’t trust teens to be in cars
“The marihuana Challenge”
Well, I look adelante, hacia adelante to hearing about your court trial on the noose for your pot farm
“The Twerking Challenge”
Do me a favor………………… Jump head first into traffic………. I mean it, do it
“The Sex Challenge”
Less of a challenge and más of a way to unknowingly give free porn to your friends
“The Baby comida Challenge”
This is the kind of shit that makes actual bebés look smarter than some people older than them
“The Urine Challenge”
tu drink your own urine like oso, oso de Grills? What’s next, tu eat shit
“The Poop Challenge”
……………………………………………….. I can’t even make jokes. I didn’t think it was real, but… WHY?!
“The Blood Challenge”
Yeah, I’ll partake in that challenge. Give me the bat and I’ll make the dumbest idiot alive bleed like a goddamn fountain. It’s nice to help people, even if you’re helping them with the dumbest shit
Part II: Memes
“Hamster Dance”
I blame this dance for my act of crushing the skulls of every hámster I see with a ball pein hammer
“Crazy Frog”
I never wanted to wish to be deaf más than I do right fucking now
“Dancing Baby”
That is, without a doubt, the most horrifying thing I have ever seen in my entire life
“I Can Count to Potato”
Really. Because after hitting my head against the muro due to your stupidity, I too can now count to potato
“Trayvoning”
………….. Oh, tu fucking sacks of human shit
“Is That My Grandma. What a Slut”
Yeah, the woman who practically brought me life is a slut, isn’t she
“James Holmes”
Oh yes, I amor worshipping a man who walked into a movie theater and shot at innocent people. It’s almost as good as my true religion, Nazism
Part III: facebook Posts
“I was trapped on an escalator for three hours”
………… Then walk, tu lazy son of a bitch
“What is Obama’s last name”
Mr. Anderson, of course
“Someone tried to convince me the sun is a star. The sun is a fucking sun dipshit”
Yes, your right. And Neptune is a character from Spongebob, Pluto is Mickey’s dog, and Uranus is just your ass, and your culo is exactly where you’re pulling this stupid shit from”
“I amor the smell of my boyfriend’s colon”
I don’t want to know what weird shit tu and him are into
“The beautiful Chicago Skyline on Lake Michigan. tu can see the line cut the sky in half”
Ah yes, the line. I see it…… The rest of the world calls it Lake Michigan.
“I always ovary act to small stuff”
So, tu act as an ovary. What kinda screwed up play are tu in?
“I learned how to take rectal thermometers in my mouth”
Congratulations. When tu learn the word rectal, think back to this day
“I never knew there were green apple”
tu think that’s crazy, think about YELLOW apples. I just blew your fucking mind, didn’t I
“Got my prom dress. This is what it looks like (Shows link to nothing)”
........ Your fecha must be only lucky fucking guy
“Goodbye, America. Hello, New York”
Get a fucking globe.
“3000 years ago. I didn’t think anyone was alive then”
“I’m sure this man on the olympics dicho that they started 3000 years ago. Hows does that work? It’s only 2012”
“The olympics have been around for 3000 years?! But there’s only been 2012 years”
Wow, instead of the usual one dipshit, we got a whole fucking liter of the morons. It must be Christmas.
“Me and Spock from estrella Wars”
Just like how I met Spongebob from The Looney Tunes
“The elevator is so stupid. Is has a button for the floor I’m already on”
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black
“Inhale and outhale”
EXHALE! EXHALE! GET A FUCKING THESAURUS GODDAMN IT!
“I got a few angles watching over me”
I think tu got the winged folk mixed with geometry
“I think the titanic is fake. How did they all record it if they were all dying”
1, you’re stupid. 2. You’re a fucking heartless prick. 3. It’s called a historical fiction film, look it up. And lastly, your stupid. I know I dicho that, but, por god, tu are fucking stupid
Part IV: Questions
“Why are Americans so loud”
It’s in our nature to just be loud to you, because of your super sonic hearing
“What is a phobia of chainsaws called”
Common fucking sense
“Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my tortuga against a wall”
tu should probably stop while I call the cops for animal cruelty
“Do tu think NASA invented thunderstorms to cover up the sound of spaceship battles”
WHAT IS THIS, FUCKING estrella WARS! NO
“Do gay people have feelings”
Yes, and they all really hate you
“How do I know I’m the real mom of my kid”
God help this child
“How can I get back at my mom without shoving pizza crust up my anus”
…………………………………
“Is ballena sperm the reason the ocean is salty”
Unless the whales had some fucked up underwater orgy, I doubt it
“How to make bobs bigger”
Feed Bob plenty of protein and make sure he exercises a lot
“What does it mean when someone says meow to you”
tu shout witch and burn them
“How do tu get youtube to come film you”
Knowing you, I doubt youtube would even let tu make a damn video on your phone
“Does being a pansexual mean tu don’t wear pants”
No, it’s just the sexual attraction to cocina utensils
“Is it normal for my son to be escritura erotic fan fiction of Sonic the Hedgehog”
It’s not normal if he’s escritura NORMAL fanfiction about Sonic. Slap the piss out of him
“Am I turning into Taylor Swift”
Yes. tu must now go on stage and be insulted on live televisión por Kanye West while completely changing your style of music
“How big is the Spacific Ocean”
Be más pacific please. There are so many oceans, it’s hard to know which one you’re talking about
“Why do lizards die”
Because they don’t want to be in a world where people like tu exist. I can blame them
Part V: Scams
“Nigerian Prince Scam”
Oh, of course. I will believe that the Nigerian Prince talked to me, OF ALL PEOPLE, a simple high school student who goes on underrated social websites, and is offering to give me a million dollars in exchange for ten thousand, because I just have that much money to spend.
“Fake Doctor”
Yes, giving away money is más easy than going to school. Just try not to fuck up on the brain surgery too badly.
“Not A Police Officer”
Yes, now I can be a fake police officer too. Maybe, if I’m really lucky, I won’t get shot
Part VI: Trends
“Doge”
If my dog ever looks at me like that, I’m putting him down
“Twerking”
I THOUGHT I TOLD tu TO JUMP INTO FUCKING TRAFFIC
“Hashtag”
#Hey #Whatsup #Howareyou #Heythere #Whatsgoingon #Totally #LOL #OMG #ROFL #LMFAO #SHUT THE FUCK, ALREADY, tu BUNCH OF STUPID SHITS! SHUT THE FUCK UP!
“Keep Calm”
How can I keep calm with the fucking shit constantly being shoved in my ears
“Too Damn High”
The only thing too damn high here is the receipt for all the aspirin I bought to relieve the headache you're giving me
“Cutting For Bieber”
Oh yes, because I always wanted to slit my wrist for a whiny little douche. siguiente thing tu know, there will be Goat Sacrifice for Bieber
“Call Me Maybe”
Not before I call an assassin
“Foodstagram”
Do tu need to take pictures of all your food? Are tu working as a photographer for PlayFood?
“YOLO”
tu know what, tu do live once. And each time tu say that word, I shorten that one life
“Fail”
I’m sure that was the name your parents originally thought for you
“Unboxing”
Yes, your phone looks nice. Please stop shoving it down everyone’s fucking throat
Part VII: Twitter Posts
“He needs to sit his meaty oaker culo down”
So, does he have flesh, o is he a talking tree? What is even going on at the moment?
“Black girls are so fucking caddy”
So…. they like golf?
“You were born in 1986. I was born in 1990. I’m 24 years old. tu can’t be 28”
Oh, this guy failed hard in math class. I am just going to say it right out
“It’s weird how the majority of pet of files are teachers”
Pedophiles and pet of files. If tu can’t spell pedophile, tu are so fucked
“Halloween falls on a Friday the 13th this año for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone”
Someone please call the cops
“Ebola has reached Dallas. I’m packing my bags and moving to Texas”
That’s good to hear. Let me see, Dallas is in Texas so that means the amount of miles tu need to take is 0. So, it’s not that far……. Also, READ A FUCKING MAP!
“To remember 9/11, we offer 90% off all jewelry at Pugster Jewelry”
Because nothing says remember those who tragically lost their lives like buying a fucking necklace
“9/11=20% OFF”
Now you’re just being a bunch of heartless pricks
“Atlanta spelled backwards is Atlanta”
Really. Let’s see. “Atnalta”.... You’re a dirty fucking liar
“Why are tu all actuación like the world is messed up today? Remember the Hall of cost”
Why……. WHY!?
“Just made some synonym rolls”
Oh good. I can’t stand antonym rolls
“I’d rather kill myself than commit suicide”
Read a dictionary
“How do tu spell penguin, the tuxedo bird that swims in ice”
I’m más dumbfounded that tu actually think it wears a tuxedo and swims in solid fucking ice
“The devil has five letters and so does weed”
What is it with these people and fucking up at math
“I took a selfie in the Auschwitz Concentration Camp”
Yes, I am sure smiling in one of the deadliest camps of Nazi Germany is a good idea
“The back number of my credit card is 388. Why is everyone asking”
Wow. tu know, I’d say identity theft is bad, but in your case, I don’t fucking care what they do
Part I: Challenges
“The Drinking Challenge”
Oh yes, because you’ll need to get drunk when your friends are this fucking stupid
“The Boiling Water Challenge”
Unless you’re a langosta at a fancy restaurant, there is no goddamn reason to stick your hand in boiling water
“The fuego Challenge”
What kind of masochistic person lights themselves on fuego for popularity? You’re not Evil Canival goddamn it
“The Driving Challenge”
This is why adults don’t trust teens to be in cars
“The marihuana Challenge”
Well, I look adelante, hacia adelante to hearing about your court trial on the noose for your pot farm
“The Twerking Challenge”
Do me a favor………………… Jump head first into traffic………. I mean it, do it
“The Sex Challenge”
Less of a challenge and más of a way to unknowingly give free porn to your friends
“The Baby comida Challenge”
This is the kind of shit that makes actual bebés look smarter than some people older than them
“The Urine Challenge”
tu drink your own urine like oso, oso de Grills? What’s next, tu eat shit
“The Poop Challenge”
……………………………………………….. I can’t even make jokes. I didn’t think it was real, but… WHY?!
“The Blood Challenge”
Yeah, I’ll partake in that challenge. Give me the bat and I’ll make the dumbest idiot alive bleed like a goddamn fountain. It’s nice to help people, even if you’re helping them with the dumbest shit
Part II: Memes
“Hamster Dance”
I blame this dance for my act of crushing the skulls of every hámster I see with a ball pein hammer
“Crazy Frog”
I never wanted to wish to be deaf más than I do right fucking now
“Dancing Baby”
That is, without a doubt, the most horrifying thing I have ever seen in my entire life
“I Can Count to Potato”
Really. Because after hitting my head against the muro due to your stupidity, I too can now count to potato
“Trayvoning”
………….. Oh, tu fucking sacks of human shit
“Is That My Grandma. What a Slut”
Yeah, the woman who practically brought me life is a slut, isn’t she
“James Holmes”
Oh yes, I amor worshipping a man who walked into a movie theater and shot at innocent people. It’s almost as good as my true religion, Nazism
Part III: facebook Posts
“I was trapped on an escalator for three hours”
………… Then walk, tu lazy son of a bitch
“What is Obama’s last name”
Mr. Anderson, of course
“Someone tried to convince me the sun is a star. The sun is a fucking sun dipshit”
Yes, your right. And Neptune is a character from Spongebob, Pluto is Mickey’s dog, and Uranus is just your ass, and your culo is exactly where you’re pulling this stupid shit from”
“I amor the smell of my boyfriend’s colon”
I don’t want to know what weird shit tu and him are into
“The beautiful Chicago Skyline on Lake Michigan. tu can see the line cut the sky in half”
Ah yes, the line. I see it…… The rest of the world calls it Lake Michigan.
“I always ovary act to small stuff”
So, tu act as an ovary. What kinda screwed up play are tu in?
“I learned how to take rectal thermometers in my mouth”
Congratulations. When tu learn the word rectal, think back to this day
“I never knew there were green apple”
tu think that’s crazy, think about YELLOW apples. I just blew your fucking mind, didn’t I
“Got my prom dress. This is what it looks like (Shows link to nothing)”
........ Your fecha must be only lucky fucking guy
“Goodbye, America. Hello, New York”
Get a fucking globe.
“3000 years ago. I didn’t think anyone was alive then”
“I’m sure this man on the olympics dicho that they started 3000 years ago. Hows does that work? It’s only 2012”
“The olympics have been around for 3000 years?! But there’s only been 2012 years”
Wow, instead of the usual one dipshit, we got a whole fucking liter of the morons. It must be Christmas.
“Me and Spock from estrella Wars”
Just like how I met Spongebob from The Looney Tunes
“The elevator is so stupid. Is has a button for the floor I’m already on”
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black
“Inhale and outhale”
EXHALE! EXHALE! GET A FUCKING THESAURUS GODDAMN IT!
“I got a few angles watching over me”
I think tu got the winged folk mixed with geometry
“I think the titanic is fake. How did they all record it if they were all dying”
1, you’re stupid. 2. You’re a fucking heartless prick. 3. It’s called a historical fiction film, look it up. And lastly, your stupid. I know I dicho that, but, por god, tu are fucking stupid
Part IV: Questions
“Why are Americans so loud”
It’s in our nature to just be loud to you, because of your super sonic hearing
“What is a phobia of chainsaws called”
Common fucking sense
“Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my tortuga against a wall”
tu should probably stop while I call the cops for animal cruelty
“Do tu think NASA invented thunderstorms to cover up the sound of spaceship battles”
WHAT IS THIS, FUCKING estrella WARS! NO
“Do gay people have feelings”
Yes, and they all really hate you
“How do I know I’m the real mom of my kid”
God help this child
“How can I get back at my mom without shoving pizza crust up my anus”
…………………………………
“Is ballena sperm the reason the ocean is salty”
Unless the whales had some fucked up underwater orgy, I doubt it
“How to make bobs bigger”
Feed Bob plenty of protein and make sure he exercises a lot
“What does it mean when someone says meow to you”
tu shout witch and burn them
“How do tu get youtube to come film you”
Knowing you, I doubt youtube would even let tu make a damn video on your phone
“Does being a pansexual mean tu don’t wear pants”
No, it’s just the sexual attraction to cocina utensils
“Is it normal for my son to be escritura erotic fan fiction of Sonic the Hedgehog”
It’s not normal if he’s escritura NORMAL fanfiction about Sonic. Slap the piss out of him
“Am I turning into Taylor Swift”
Yes. tu must now go on stage and be insulted on live televisión por Kanye West while completely changing your style of music
“How big is the Spacific Ocean”
Be más pacific please. There are so many oceans, it’s hard to know which one you’re talking about
“Why do lizards die”
Because they don’t want to be in a world where people like tu exist. I can blame them
Part V: Scams
“Nigerian Prince Scam”
Oh, of course. I will believe that the Nigerian Prince talked to me, OF ALL PEOPLE, a simple high school student who goes on underrated social websites, and is offering to give me a million dollars in exchange for ten thousand, because I just have that much money to spend.
“Fake Doctor”
Yes, giving away money is más easy than going to school. Just try not to fuck up on the brain surgery too badly.
“Not A Police Officer”
Yes, now I can be a fake police officer too. Maybe, if I’m really lucky, I won’t get shot
Part VI: Trends
“Doge”
If my dog ever looks at me like that, I’m putting him down
“Twerking”
I THOUGHT I TOLD tu TO JUMP INTO FUCKING TRAFFIC
“Hashtag”
#Hey #Whatsup #Howareyou #Heythere #Whatsgoingon #Totally #LOL #OMG #ROFL #LMFAO #SHUT THE FUCK, ALREADY, tu BUNCH OF STUPID SHITS! SHUT THE FUCK UP!
“Keep Calm”
How can I keep calm with the fucking shit constantly being shoved in my ears
“Too Damn High”
The only thing too damn high here is the receipt for all the aspirin I bought to relieve the headache you're giving me
“Cutting For Bieber”
Oh yes, because I always wanted to slit my wrist for a whiny little douche. siguiente thing tu know, there will be Goat Sacrifice for Bieber
“Call Me Maybe”
Not before I call an assassin
“Foodstagram”
Do tu need to take pictures of all your food? Are tu working as a photographer for PlayFood?
“YOLO”
tu know what, tu do live once. And each time tu say that word, I shorten that one life
“Fail”
I’m sure that was the name your parents originally thought for you
“Unboxing”
Yes, your phone looks nice. Please stop shoving it down everyone’s fucking throat
Part VII: Twitter Posts
“He needs to sit his meaty oaker culo down”
So, does he have flesh, o is he a talking tree? What is even going on at the moment?
“Black girls are so fucking caddy”
So…. they like golf?
“You were born in 1986. I was born in 1990. I’m 24 years old. tu can’t be 28”
Oh, this guy failed hard in math class. I am just going to say it right out
“It’s weird how the majority of pet of files are teachers”
Pedophiles and pet of files. If tu can’t spell pedophile, tu are so fucked
“Halloween falls on a Friday the 13th this año for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone”
Someone please call the cops
“Ebola has reached Dallas. I’m packing my bags and moving to Texas”
That’s good to hear. Let me see, Dallas is in Texas so that means the amount of miles tu need to take is 0. So, it’s not that far……. Also, READ A FUCKING MAP!
“To remember 9/11, we offer 90% off all jewelry at Pugster Jewelry”
Because nothing says remember those who tragically lost their lives like buying a fucking necklace
“9/11=20% OFF”
Now you’re just being a bunch of heartless pricks
“Atlanta spelled backwards is Atlanta”
Really. Let’s see. “Atnalta”.... You’re a dirty fucking liar
“Why are tu all actuación like the world is messed up today? Remember the Hall of cost”
Why……. WHY!?
“Just made some synonym rolls”
Oh good. I can’t stand antonym rolls
“I’d rather kill myself than commit suicide”
Read a dictionary
“How do tu spell penguin, the tuxedo bird that swims in ice”
I’m más dumbfounded that tu actually think it wears a tuxedo and swims in solid fucking ice
“The devil has five letters and so does weed”
What is it with these people and fucking up at math
“I took a selfie in the Auschwitz Concentration Camp”
Yes, I am sure smiling in one of the deadliest camps of Nazi Germany is a good idea
“The back number of my credit card is 388. Why is everyone asking”
Wow. tu know, I’d say identity theft is bad, but in your case, I don’t fucking care what they do
