"You will always be able to tell when tu are different; when tu are the one that everyone is staring at; when tu are the one that everyone runs in fear from o stares at in disgust as tu pass them by; when tu are the runt out of the litter; when tu are the broken and cracked tile in a tile floor; when tu are the dead árbol in the center of the lively forest; when tu are the odd one out from the ordinary.
It's a feeling that will creep upon tu without a warning. A feeling of difference. A painful feeling. A sharp blow to wake your psyche from its peaceful slumber; a blow that can crush o cripple a person and their emotions. tu feel distant; tu feel as if tu are a oveja lost from its herd; tu feel like a ship lost at sea. tu feel like tu are drifting further and further away from the world; tu feel like tu are drowning, and tu feel as though everyone would turn away rather than throw a life ring to you, o even dive in to save you. tu feel like tu are the darkness hidden in the corner in a room filled with glistening lights.
For myself, I have very different thoughts. I feel like a cold-blooded animal amongst warm-bloods. I may look the same as the siguiente man, but on the inside, I feel like I am burning. tu see the world through a glass window, just as bright and as clean as it could possibly be; pure and full of hope. All I see when I look through that window is stained, cracked glass, tainted por my place in this world and my warring emotional insides. tu are looking in on the world through that pure window, watching in delight and happiness as people come to tu with a smile; I watch through my window as people turn their backs and walk away. I feel like I cannot see myself; I feel as though I do not see myself. Oh no, I only see a worn man with tears staining his face in the large crack that runs down the middle of the window; I do not see the world, I only see my broken spirit.
I do not feel like I am of your world. I do not feel like I have a place in your world. I only feel like I have the ugly feelings that tether me to reality; who I really am in the flesh. If I were to step into your mirror, o if I were to step into your crystal-clear lake so full of life, I would merely pollute the limpid water and it would become tainted... Just like my body. Just like my species. Just like my mind. Just like my uncontrollable 'bloodlust', as tu call it.
Sometimes I need the danger. I need the danger just to know that my corazón can beat. I feel numb sometimes; numb as in I do not feel as though my body is truly working anymore. Feeling my corazón beat pulsing is one of the only things that reminds me that I am not numb and that I am still a living person and not the... monster that tu believe me to be; the monster that tu claim for me to be. Seeing my blood flow is another way that I know I am living, though my blood is just as cold and as clear as ice instead of the dark, warm crimson red that resides in a normal person. If tu examine me o were to take me apart, will tu find the differences? o will tu ignore the differences and call me person who fits in with the rest of the crowd?
I can see right through tu as if tu were an ice sculpture, so pure and clear. However, can tu see through me? Am I a clear ice to you, am I a blank canvas yet to be touched, o am I a cracked window soiled with years of dirt and grime that prevents tu from seeing into me? Take your pick, choose wisely your response. It will either amuse me o damage me, mind you.
I think of myself in these ways from día to day, especially when I am amongst the 'normal'. However, I smile, and I laugh, and I play. I know who I am and I know what I am, even if I do not feel like I do at times. I am but a speck of shadow in a room of light, waiting for my turn to have my time to shine. I am a broken, dirtied mirror placed in a tarnished oro frame that needs to be cleaned; I do not want to be replaced o repaired, only cleaned. I simply want to be cleaned and placed upon the muro with the other, pure mirrors, even if it costs me standing out. I just want to be able to be in the crowd without being rejected. Why will tu not place me with the others? Why do tu hide me away in a storage closet? Am I simply 'not good enough' for you? If that is what tu think, then let me ask tu this... Why do tu think I exist, and why do tu think tu exist? We are equals, no matter what tu say. We are living people who need amor and attention to feel like we fit in. If tu gain your acceptance, then where is mine? It matters not how long I wait, I will be accepted some day, some where, some time... and one día I will shine. One día I will be the most respected piece in the gallery; one día I will be amongst the famous and priceless. I am not a mistake; I am a pure diamond hidden in the ashes and soot. People may look over me, thinking that I am only coal on the outside, but on the inside, I am a diamond hidden in the rough.
Tell me, what is wrong with the odd one? Do tu not consider the odd one a person? Even if they are más kind and considering that tu are? If tu are one who is stuck up, tu may sit upon your rich throne, thinking tu are high and mighty, but what will tu do when the 'odd' comes in and is más caring than tu are? Will tu immediately cease calling them a person just because tu think they are strange without looking at what good they have done? If so, then tu are más of a monster than I could ever be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For all of tu out there who feel like tu are lost in the shadows, what are tu doing? Are tu simply staying in the shadows and letting yourself feel like tu are different and not of this world such as I have? o do tu look for the light while tu are lost in the darkness like I have as well? If tu can not find the light to make tu feel better, tu make the light. Let your family and those dear to tu be your fuel, and let tu accepting your differences and who tu are be the spark that lights the flame.
I dicho I felt as though I was the cold-blood amongst the warm-bloods. I dicho I feel as though I am staring through a broken and tainted glass. I dicho I do not feel as though I am from your world; I dicho I felt that I didn't fit in with the people in your own little world. I dicho that if I were to step into your crystal lake, I would pollute the limpid water; but let me ask tu this, is your lake crystal in reality, o is it idealized in your own mind and fake reality; would I be polluting it o bringing tu back to reality? I also dicho that sometimes I felt numb and I needed the danger to feel my corazón beat. What do tu think I meant honestly por that? Did I mean that I felt disconnected from the world and needed to feel like a person, o did I mean that I want to feel the danger to make me feel alive like a person? Hm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All the outcasts. All the odd people. All the frowned and look down upon. I can see you, and I can hear you. tu are not invisible to me, just like how tu are not invisible to the world; tu may only think that not a living soul pays attention to tu as tu cry yourself to sleep. tu may feel stuck on the outside; thinking that tu are damaged and broken beyond repair. tu know what? tu are not so far that someone cannot reach you. tu are not so far that someone cannot envolver, abrigo tu in their embrace and tell tu everything is okay. Can tu believe me? Can tu trust me when I tell tu that everything tu see about yourself is not what I see? tu have my attention; there's no need to hurt and pain yourself for attention. Let the prejudice o judging people be the beautiful lights in the city; we shall rise above them as bright, beautiful neon signs in a night sky, and those who accept us and amor us for who we are shall rise above with us. tu are special, no matter what tu think tu are. If someone tells tu that tu are a cursed o evil species, prove them wrong por proving that tu are a beautiful diamond while they are simply a tarnished piece of gold. If someone tells tu that tu are a nerd o a geek, mostrar them that tu might just be the scientist who makes the cure that cures the plague. Let all of the outcasts fly with me and come to a place where we can be diverse and appreciate each other without putting each other down; even if this world exists only in our minds, we will find a way to be who we are without fears of being struck down.
Your smallest whisper... I can hear it. Let your voice be heard. Be who tu are, not what the world expects tu to be. tu do not think tu are good enough to the world to anyone in the world? Nonsense, tu are a bright diamond in my eyes. tu are a treasure, a perfect one at that. tu may have had a rough ride, but do not let that change who tu are, and who tu are is a unique individual. tu are más than just a face, más than just a name, and más than just the hurtful labels that the hypocrites around tu might give. tu are more, tu are a beauty. tu are a treasure, and tu are NOT alone.
Take it from me, a man who has faired many reactions and various treatments due to who I am. tu are a unique person and tu do not deserve to have the dirt and grime of the world thrown upon your delicate frame that holds you. Is your frame old, tarnished, polished, new, o anything else? It does not matter; tu are as equal as the others around you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Hatred and Evil was as blacken as coal. The Uncertainty was sandy and unclear. The Happiness golden. The Isolation was a lonely blue. The Sole Lie was as clear and as see-through as a white ice. The Socialness was a perky orange. The Laughter was a radiating green. The Serious brought a gloomy shade of grey. Above all, the Mixture of Good and Bad traits was a clear prism that cast all the colores of a beautiful arco iris and a shadowy gloom; the one holding the prism decided which colores they wanted to cast. Which one are you?
In the end, are we not all a stained glass portrait? We are either made in bright, happy colores with a beautiful picture, o we are a gloomy, dark picture with dark and depressing colors. Or, no, wait. Perhaps we are all works in progress, just waiting to bloom and reveal who were truly are inside."
~Alric Maximilian Faust
It's a feeling that will creep upon tu without a warning. A feeling of difference. A painful feeling. A sharp blow to wake your psyche from its peaceful slumber; a blow that can crush o cripple a person and their emotions. tu feel distant; tu feel as if tu are a oveja lost from its herd; tu feel like a ship lost at sea. tu feel like tu are drifting further and further away from the world; tu feel like tu are drowning, and tu feel as though everyone would turn away rather than throw a life ring to you, o even dive in to save you. tu feel like tu are the darkness hidden in the corner in a room filled with glistening lights.
For myself, I have very different thoughts. I feel like a cold-blooded animal amongst warm-bloods. I may look the same as the siguiente man, but on the inside, I feel like I am burning. tu see the world through a glass window, just as bright and as clean as it could possibly be; pure and full of hope. All I see when I look through that window is stained, cracked glass, tainted por my place in this world and my warring emotional insides. tu are looking in on the world through that pure window, watching in delight and happiness as people come to tu with a smile; I watch through my window as people turn their backs and walk away. I feel like I cannot see myself; I feel as though I do not see myself. Oh no, I only see a worn man with tears staining his face in the large crack that runs down the middle of the window; I do not see the world, I only see my broken spirit.
I do not feel like I am of your world. I do not feel like I have a place in your world. I only feel like I have the ugly feelings that tether me to reality; who I really am in the flesh. If I were to step into your mirror, o if I were to step into your crystal-clear lake so full of life, I would merely pollute the limpid water and it would become tainted... Just like my body. Just like my species. Just like my mind. Just like my uncontrollable 'bloodlust', as tu call it.
Sometimes I need the danger. I need the danger just to know that my corazón can beat. I feel numb sometimes; numb as in I do not feel as though my body is truly working anymore. Feeling my corazón beat pulsing is one of the only things that reminds me that I am not numb and that I am still a living person and not the... monster that tu believe me to be; the monster that tu claim for me to be. Seeing my blood flow is another way that I know I am living, though my blood is just as cold and as clear as ice instead of the dark, warm crimson red that resides in a normal person. If tu examine me o were to take me apart, will tu find the differences? o will tu ignore the differences and call me person who fits in with the rest of the crowd?
I can see right through tu as if tu were an ice sculpture, so pure and clear. However, can tu see through me? Am I a clear ice to you, am I a blank canvas yet to be touched, o am I a cracked window soiled with years of dirt and grime that prevents tu from seeing into me? Take your pick, choose wisely your response. It will either amuse me o damage me, mind you.
I think of myself in these ways from día to day, especially when I am amongst the 'normal'. However, I smile, and I laugh, and I play. I know who I am and I know what I am, even if I do not feel like I do at times. I am but a speck of shadow in a room of light, waiting for my turn to have my time to shine. I am a broken, dirtied mirror placed in a tarnished oro frame that needs to be cleaned; I do not want to be replaced o repaired, only cleaned. I simply want to be cleaned and placed upon the muro with the other, pure mirrors, even if it costs me standing out. I just want to be able to be in the crowd without being rejected. Why will tu not place me with the others? Why do tu hide me away in a storage closet? Am I simply 'not good enough' for you? If that is what tu think, then let me ask tu this... Why do tu think I exist, and why do tu think tu exist? We are equals, no matter what tu say. We are living people who need amor and attention to feel like we fit in. If tu gain your acceptance, then where is mine? It matters not how long I wait, I will be accepted some day, some where, some time... and one día I will shine. One día I will be the most respected piece in the gallery; one día I will be amongst the famous and priceless. I am not a mistake; I am a pure diamond hidden in the ashes and soot. People may look over me, thinking that I am only coal on the outside, but on the inside, I am a diamond hidden in the rough.
Tell me, what is wrong with the odd one? Do tu not consider the odd one a person? Even if they are más kind and considering that tu are? If tu are one who is stuck up, tu may sit upon your rich throne, thinking tu are high and mighty, but what will tu do when the 'odd' comes in and is más caring than tu are? Will tu immediately cease calling them a person just because tu think they are strange without looking at what good they have done? If so, then tu are más of a monster than I could ever be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For all of tu out there who feel like tu are lost in the shadows, what are tu doing? Are tu simply staying in the shadows and letting yourself feel like tu are different and not of this world such as I have? o do tu look for the light while tu are lost in the darkness like I have as well? If tu can not find the light to make tu feel better, tu make the light. Let your family and those dear to tu be your fuel, and let tu accepting your differences and who tu are be the spark that lights the flame.
I dicho I felt as though I was the cold-blood amongst the warm-bloods. I dicho I feel as though I am staring through a broken and tainted glass. I dicho I do not feel as though I am from your world; I dicho I felt that I didn't fit in with the people in your own little world. I dicho that if I were to step into your crystal lake, I would pollute the limpid water; but let me ask tu this, is your lake crystal in reality, o is it idealized in your own mind and fake reality; would I be polluting it o bringing tu back to reality? I also dicho that sometimes I felt numb and I needed the danger to feel my corazón beat. What do tu think I meant honestly por that? Did I mean that I felt disconnected from the world and needed to feel like a person, o did I mean that I want to feel the danger to make me feel alive like a person? Hm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All the outcasts. All the odd people. All the frowned and look down upon. I can see you, and I can hear you. tu are not invisible to me, just like how tu are not invisible to the world; tu may only think that not a living soul pays attention to tu as tu cry yourself to sleep. tu may feel stuck on the outside; thinking that tu are damaged and broken beyond repair. tu know what? tu are not so far that someone cannot reach you. tu are not so far that someone cannot envolver, abrigo tu in their embrace and tell tu everything is okay. Can tu believe me? Can tu trust me when I tell tu that everything tu see about yourself is not what I see? tu have my attention; there's no need to hurt and pain yourself for attention. Let the prejudice o judging people be the beautiful lights in the city; we shall rise above them as bright, beautiful neon signs in a night sky, and those who accept us and amor us for who we are shall rise above with us. tu are special, no matter what tu think tu are. If someone tells tu that tu are a cursed o evil species, prove them wrong por proving that tu are a beautiful diamond while they are simply a tarnished piece of gold. If someone tells tu that tu are a nerd o a geek, mostrar them that tu might just be the scientist who makes the cure that cures the plague. Let all of the outcasts fly with me and come to a place where we can be diverse and appreciate each other without putting each other down; even if this world exists only in our minds, we will find a way to be who we are without fears of being struck down.
Your smallest whisper... I can hear it. Let your voice be heard. Be who tu are, not what the world expects tu to be. tu do not think tu are good enough to the world to anyone in the world? Nonsense, tu are a bright diamond in my eyes. tu are a treasure, a perfect one at that. tu may have had a rough ride, but do not let that change who tu are, and who tu are is a unique individual. tu are más than just a face, más than just a name, and más than just the hurtful labels that the hypocrites around tu might give. tu are more, tu are a beauty. tu are a treasure, and tu are NOT alone.
Take it from me, a man who has faired many reactions and various treatments due to who I am. tu are a unique person and tu do not deserve to have the dirt and grime of the world thrown upon your delicate frame that holds you. Is your frame old, tarnished, polished, new, o anything else? It does not matter; tu are as equal as the others around you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Hatred and Evil was as blacken as coal. The Uncertainty was sandy and unclear. The Happiness golden. The Isolation was a lonely blue. The Sole Lie was as clear and as see-through as a white ice. The Socialness was a perky orange. The Laughter was a radiating green. The Serious brought a gloomy shade of grey. Above all, the Mixture of Good and Bad traits was a clear prism that cast all the colores of a beautiful arco iris and a shadowy gloom; the one holding the prism decided which colores they wanted to cast. Which one are you?
In the end, are we not all a stained glass portrait? We are either made in bright, happy colores with a beautiful picture, o we are a gloomy, dark picture with dark and depressing colors. Or, no, wait. Perhaps we are all works in progress, just waiting to bloom and reveal who were truly are inside."
~Alric Maximilian Faust