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posted by CullenProperty
1.    Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys amor flirts.
3. A guy can like tu for a minute, and then forget tu afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are tu doing something?" o "Have tu eaten already?" are the first usual preguntas a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all día but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you,...
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posted by milorox18
1. I amor the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I amor the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I amor the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I amor the way tu look at me.

5. I amor how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I amor the way I can’t imagine a día without tu in my life.

7. I amor the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I amor the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I amor the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I amor how I know you’ll always be there when I need tu to be.

11....
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1. Angus is for a beefy yet cute boyfriend, o to bolster up the woefully sagging self-esteem of a weak, pasty face limb noodle who does your homework for you.

2. Babe - is a classic cute boyfriend nickname that will only get tu in a slight amount of trouble in front of his friends. ( i call mine this)

3. Baby Boo Boo - is for a boyfriend that you'd like to castrate slowly por giving him effeminate names.

4. Bunny-kins - means you're cousins and will be humping like bunnies at the siguiente family wedding.

5. Bunny Wabbit - tu may as well stroke his belly with a coonskin gorra, cap and feed him grapes when...
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DEMENTED POEMS

rosas are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

rosas are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

rosas are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And mostrar me your tits

rosas make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And tu amor it up the shitter

rosas are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

rosas are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

rosas are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

rosas are shit
Violets are crap
mostrar me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

rosas are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And golondrina it down

rosas are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
I never thought I would be doing a lista like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this lista with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please comentario but be polite. Also, always comentario because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers tu know.
12.Strangers tu don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to borrar above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
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posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar tu grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something o someone

3. Go up to a misceláneo person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki misceláneo noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a fuente run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to tu in public about the...
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1. At the movies: When tu meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are tu doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t tu try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When tu ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while hace and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask tu somethingand i want tu to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how tu feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want tu to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi o Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by adultswimperson
Source: google
I found this hilarious articulo on pcworld.com
Don't know who the autor is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's trofeos Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my...
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added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: google
posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a contraseña other than "password" o "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits siguiente to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be más imaginative.

I will not bore my boss por with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some más excuses.

I will do less laundry and use más deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
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This was definitely the most difficult lista I've made so far. I even made a few changes when I was deciding the ranking. tu can obviously tell that this wasn't easy and took A LOT of dedication in order for me to figure it out. First of all, I will only be talking about the parte superior, arriba 10 and just listing the other women and mostrando pictures. I figured that it not only makes it easier for me to make but also makes it easier for tu guys to read and not be overwhelmed. I hope tu enjoy it and keep in mind this is just my personal opinion. Please don't forget to comentario and I can't wait to hear what...
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Give my regards to broadway. o-O

*Insert epic theme song here*

Alright, I'm pretty sure we all know who Spongebob is. The mostrar was a funny, crazy, and inventive kids mostrar that pretty much EVERYBODY ALIVE has at least heard of.

The mostrar had memorable characters, funny comedy that everyone can enjoy, and.......

CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! ^____^

But one of my favorito! parts of the mostrar was the songs, and today we're counting down the best of them!

BECAUSE NOBODY CAN SING BETTER THAN A TALKING SPONGE. ;D

#10. Striped Sweater!

link

Shots fired.

Seriously, this is EASILY the stupidest song on this...
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added by Juilet1234
posted by flippy_fan210
Some of tu might have heard of the game Facade. those of tu who have, tu probably wonder why they hate Melons so much. well, this is my theory.
_____________________-_____________________
Trip and Grace used to live in a normal home, no fancy apartment. they had a child, Phoebe. she...really liked melons.

she bought one when she was 5 and never let anyone eat it. they let her keep it. one day, she dicho "i want a cat". it was totally out of the blue, but they dicho yes, she got a little black cat and named him Ivan. she really loved him. one day, she took Ivan up to her room. she came down,...
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posted by Bluekait
French Fries are deep fried in horse oil in France.

Kittens are born with blue eyes, but change when they get older.

People born in November are más likely to become serial killers.

Everything tu see is actually upside down and your brain just flips it around.

You can't actually multi-task.

Easily distracted people are the ones who are the most creative.

When a person appears in your dreams, that person misses you.

Music can lead teens to depression.

You are más likely to dream when tu are depressed.

Your odor is as unique as your fingerprint.

If tu tear off paper from bottles, tu are sexually...
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posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did tu get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A pingüino, pingüino de rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four preguntas to determine the level of your intellect. Your respuestas must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating o wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: tu are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in segundo place.
In which position are tu now?

Answer:

If tu answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. tu overtook the segundo runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the siguiente pregunta try not to be so dumb.

2 : If tu overtake the last...
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