Rule 1: Cardio: This one comes up in Zombieland and clearly makes alot of sense. How many fat people do tu see at the end of the world when its zombies doing the ending?



Rule 2: Beware of Bathrooms: Really not just bathrooms any good apocalyptic zombie survivor should know better then going into a bathroom, small closet o any other small room with only one way in o out. Only thing stupider to go into then a bathroom is a movie theater. Lots of places to run around before tu get eaten.



Rule 3: Seatbelts: Its a seguro bet unless your a complete dumb dumb ( see rule #7 ) your not going to be hoofing it on foot in the event of a zombie outbreak. So when travelling on four wheels wear your asiento belt. Nothing worse then finding yourself ejected out of your car into the loving and oh so hungry arms of zombies.



Rule 4: Doubletap: Carrying a gun is a great idea but it should never be your primary weapon. When tu do end up using it for that last minuto 'oh shit' moment remember to double tap. Its an emergency and thats why your using it and not your cricket bat so why skimp? One bullet más in the head will go a long way to ensuring your survival.



Rule 5: No Attachments: This is a tough one but tu can not have attachments. If tu got kids o a wife your less likely to survive then the gal o guy who has no attachments and nothing slowing him o her down. o worse yet making bonehead decisions like 'going back into the room'



Rule 6: Travel in a Group: The best way to increase your odds of survival when travelling in a zombie outbreak is to make sure your a traveling buffet. Going it alone gives the zombies no choices but to eat you. Going it with the old man with the limp, the little kid who cant run and the middle aged woman with the plastic leg gives the zombies más options and tu better odds tu can run away faster then they can.

Rule 7: Keep the Dumb Dumbs Close at Hand: One of the most sure fuego ways of making sure tu survive is keeping the less intelligent as close at hand as possible. When tu find somebody who asks tu 'Whats going on? What Happened? Those are the ones tu want with you. That way when the zombies come they are likely to stupid to realize its not Amway calling and run.



Rule 8: Kill with Efficiency: Its not about pretty its about efficiency. Alot of folks run for the gun cabinet where as the truly savvy go looking for the most blunt and effective way to destroy the brain. That can be anything from a baseball bat... to a toilet lid! Kill with Efficiency... dont use weapons that need something to work and use weapons tu can oscilación over and over and over again. tu dont tend to run into 1 zombie at a time.



Rule 9: pistolas Are for Hunting, Not for Zombie Killing: This one is simple. pistolas need bullets. When your running who has time to stop for bullets? Keeping a shotgun with buckshot on hand is important but only when your pinned in and need a quick getaway. Its not a proper means for killing zombies as they run out of ammo and need reloading. Remember a Cricket Bat, o Toilet Lid do not need loading!



Rule 10: Be Quiet: Its the end of the world as tu know it so try to avoid squeeling like a 4th grade school girl and perhaps invest in some good sneakers. Nobody dicho tu have to kill all the zombies and there is certainly no shame in sneaking around and surviving versus tearing around like a madman and ending up being an undead happy meal.



Rule 15: Know Your Way out! Nothing worse then a poorly planned escape. If your going to be a hero its always a good idea to plan ahead and as the rule states.. know your way out!



Rule 17: Don't Be a Hero: The hot chick who was totally gonna give tu some is not worth becoming the undead. So when the going gets rough and the hot chick is about to get undead... its time to flee. No making a stand no ending up a Valiente zombie. Better to be a chicken liver live guy.



Rule 18: Limber Up: When either fighting a zombie o running from zombies its not a great time to be pulling a muscle o throwing your back out. So limbering up is kind of a must. Stretch it out a little.. it may save your life.



Rule 19: Blend in: Much as Shaun did in Shaun of the Dead its important to blend in. Whens the last time tu saw a zombie try to eat another zombie? not easily done but with the right odor and smearing of goo on your face it can happen.

Rule 20: Find The Right Shelter: Shelter is key to survival but since we are already travelling in a group tu should ask yourself why the shelter needs to be stationary. For me a motor inicial o large all terrain vehicle that seats a half dozen would do nicely. Plus when zombies arrive in your neighbourhood there is no last minuto scramble to pack and leave. Just put it in drive and roll!



Rule 21: Zombies cant Climb. Much like tu have never seen a zombie eat another zombie whens the last time tu saw a zombie climb a wall? Well other then the debacle that was the remake of día of the Dead which had spiderman zombies. Zombies can climb so find high ground if tu do need to stop.



Rule 22: Be ruthless: Much like having no attachments being ruthless is key. When your bride turns into the undead, reach for the lid to the toilet asiento and be ruthless. The weak and compassionate will not survive in the world of the undead.



Rule 23: God Bless Rednecks: Rednecks are loud, brash, well armed and ready to kick culo now and ask preguntas later. So when a redneck shows up in your group half drunk and rumbling louder then your humvee welcome him. Sure rednecks can attract zombies but they also are well armed and kill a whole lot of em when they do come for dinner. Best of all they are good bait for tu to make your exit while he is making a mess of the zombies and before he realizes he just ran out of bullets and does the happy meal groan.



Rule 24: No Drinking. This one should be pretty plain obvious. Escaping zombies is tough enough as it is. How well do tu think tu will do after downing a couple shots of Jack Daniels? Drinking is not a good survival tactic.



Rule 25: Check the Back Seat. I cant tell tu how many times somebody has eaten it o in this case been eaten because they are just not smart enough to check the back seat. Always check the back asiento friends. Always!



Rule 26: Enjoy the Little Things: Its the end of the world. Dont sweat the small stuff. Loot a neighbourhood o two, trash a car, speed! Do the little things and enjoy em. Who knows how long tu have to live!