ABC's of ex girlfriends
A
is for Arteries.
tu know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for tu tu twit she was only after your money and could have dado a shit about you.

B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when tu took her out and she dicho "I'm not hungry" so tu figured tu could take her to a nice place because tu were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate más than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So tu flip the bill and are broke for the siguiente two weeks and she wonders why tu were unable to call her that week and go see movies.

F
is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if tu can even stand to look at her.

G
is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period.

H
is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, tu figure it out.

I
stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors.

J
stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to fecha her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy.

K
stands for Kill.

L
is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon por both parties.

L
is also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love.

M
stands for Mephistophiles. That is who she worked for.

N
stands for Necropheliac. She didn't mover very much, did she?

O
is for On top. When on parte superior, arriba she has another O word.

P
is for Pill. She dicho she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing tu for a few hundred bucks a month.

Q
is for Quitter. She couldn't last.

R
is for Rich little Bitch. She bought my amor but I paid for it.

S
stands for Suffer. That's what she made me do.

T
is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured tu with the truth. She also tortured tu with lies.

U
is for Understatement. Saying tu hate that perra is an understatement.

V
is for Voluptuous. That is the primamry reason tu were dating her in the first place.

W
stands for Whine. She was a pro at this.

X
is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone.

Y
stands for tu suck! Remember when she yelled that at you.

Z
stands for ZIPPER. This is what tu got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!"

.
stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to tu about taking what P stands for. It also means tu won't get any for a week.