Found this on www.funny.com. That site has so much funny stuff...lol
Women's English:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious por now.
Do what tu want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want tu to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, tu moron!
You're so manly = tu need a shave and tu sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all tu ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This cocina is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed tu were almost asleep.
Do tu amor me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do tu amor me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minuto = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
tu have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are tu listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Was that the baby? = Why don't tu get out of cama and walk him until he falls asleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is actuación up.
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.
********** Men's English:
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired" = I'm tired.
"Do tu want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take tu out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call tu sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give tu a massage." = I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are tu going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored." = Do tu want to have sex?
"I amor you." = Let's have sex now.
"I amor you, too." = Okay, I dicho it... we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way tu cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
"Yes, I like the way tu cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress tu por mostrando tu that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
"Will tu marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for tu to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
"I don't think that blusa and that falda go well together." = I am gay.
Women's English:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious por now.
Do what tu want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want tu to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, tu moron!
You're so manly = tu need a shave and tu sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all tu ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This cocina is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed tu were almost asleep.
Do tu amor me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do tu amor me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minuto = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
tu have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are tu listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Was that the baby? = Why don't tu get out of cama and walk him until he falls asleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is actuación up.
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.
********** Men's English:
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired" = I'm tired.
"Do tu want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take tu out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call tu sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give tu a massage." = I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are tu going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored." = Do tu want to have sex?
"I amor you." = Let's have sex now.
"I amor you, too." = Okay, I dicho it... we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way tu cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
"Yes, I like the way tu cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress tu por mostrando tu that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
"Will tu marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for tu to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
"I don't think that blusa and that falda go well together." = I am gay.
Whoa, time out. Football is on.
Sorry. I was just picturing tu naked.
Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?
Don't tu have some laundry to do o something?
tu are so cute when tu get mad.
You're just upset because your bottom is beginning to spread.
Wait a minuto - I get it. What time of the mes is it?
tu sure tu don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?
Looks like someone had an extra bowl of perra flakes this morning!
Who are tu kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded.
Sorry. I was just picturing tu naked.
Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?
Don't tu have some laundry to do o something?
tu are so cute when tu get mad.
You're just upset because your bottom is beginning to spread.
Wait a minuto - I get it. What time of the mes is it?
tu sure tu don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?
Looks like someone had an extra bowl of perra flakes this morning!
Who are tu kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded.
☆go in his room and sabotoge it make it a daily thing
☆Show his gf embarrasing pics of him
☆Go into his room at night and say crazy things in his ear make it a daily thing
☆At cena time quietly throw comida but dont get caught
Bonus if its a chicken bone and it hits him in the head
☆Beat him up to make him say the weirdest stuff like my culo is fat o i stuff twinkies in my culo make it a daily thing
☆Ask dumb qs like how in da world did u get a topo dat big make it a daily thing
☆Make him do ur chores por lying on him saying stuff like Jason dicho that he was going to kick my culo o something like that
☆Tell him to give tu a piggy back down stairs make it a daily thing
☆Sit in front of ur brother and talk on the phone act like tu heard somthing suprising then do a spit take
☆Sit there and talk about nothing he carez about
By
Tayloraddict-1
Become a fan today
☆Show his gf embarrasing pics of him
☆Go into his room at night and say crazy things in his ear make it a daily thing
☆At cena time quietly throw comida but dont get caught
Bonus if its a chicken bone and it hits him in the head
☆Beat him up to make him say the weirdest stuff like my culo is fat o i stuff twinkies in my culo make it a daily thing
☆Ask dumb qs like how in da world did u get a topo dat big make it a daily thing
☆Make him do ur chores por lying on him saying stuff like Jason dicho that he was going to kick my culo o something like that
☆Tell him to give tu a piggy back down stairs make it a daily thing
☆Sit in front of ur brother and talk on the phone act like tu heard somthing suprising then do a spit take
☆Sit there and talk about nothing he carez about
By
Tayloraddict-1
Become a fan today
This is very funny I told some of my friends and they laughed.
Kids, don't try this at inicial XD
Oh, and anything in between these things ** Is and action.
Oh and on más thing, I live in NYC, so any references that's why.
1. Shoot me now.
2. *Jumps of Brooklyn Bridge*
3. *Sinks with the Titanic*
4. *Runs away with Prince Charming*
5. *House lands on self in Oz*
6. *Wicked witch turns self into frog*
7. *Frog gets run over*
8. *Frog gets carried away be halk*
9. *Bangs head on muro so hard, knock self into the siguiente room*
10. *Flies into the sun*
11. *Falls off the face of the earth*
12. *Jumps off cliff*
13. *Goes skydiving and forgets parachute*
14 *Dives into tiburón tank*
15. *Glinda the good witch of the north send self home*
16. *Jumps into swamp full of hungry alligators*
17. Newspaper headline - "Magic trick gone wrong: teen disappears!"
18. *Swims in piranha infested waters*
19. *Runs away to Narnia*
20. *Canoes down a waterfall*
Kids, don't try this at inicial XD
Oh, and anything in between these things ** Is and action.
Oh and on más thing, I live in NYC, so any references that's why.
1. Shoot me now.
2. *Jumps of Brooklyn Bridge*
3. *Sinks with the Titanic*
4. *Runs away with Prince Charming*
5. *House lands on self in Oz*
6. *Wicked witch turns self into frog*
7. *Frog gets run over*
8. *Frog gets carried away be halk*
9. *Bangs head on muro so hard, knock self into the siguiente room*
10. *Flies into the sun*
11. *Falls off the face of the earth*
12. *Jumps off cliff*
13. *Goes skydiving and forgets parachute*
14 *Dives into tiburón tank*
15. *Glinda the good witch of the north send self home*
16. *Jumps into swamp full of hungry alligators*
17. Newspaper headline - "Magic trick gone wrong: teen disappears!"
18. *Swims in piranha infested waters*
19. *Runs away to Narnia*
20. *Canoes down a waterfall*
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
A fleet of Rebel ships were close to the planet of Sullust. Inside one of the Mon Calamari ships, pilots were preparing their X-Wings. Other ships were carrying Y-Wings, and A-Wings.
Wedge: *Gives a high five to a Y-Wing* We're gonna do just fine.
Y-Wing Pilot: I copy red leader.
They both chuckled, and looked at a pilot in green.
Y-Wing Pilot: Must be one of the pilots for the new A-Wing.
Green-7: Hey. Ready to go?
Wedge: Yeah, tu let me know how those A-Wings are. I might try one myself.
Green-7: Will do....
