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posted by coolkatstar
I found this on the internet is so funny read and enjoy and if tu like it the credit is not for me so have fun!

Guest: “why does the dog sit there and watch me eat?”
Hotel Host: “I can’t imagine, unless it’s because tu have the plate he usually eats from.”

A guy phones up his boss , but gets the bosses’ wife instead:
“I am afraid he died last week” she explains.

The siguiente día the man calls again and asks for the boss.

“I told tu “the wife replies, “He died last week”

The siguiente día again he calls again and once más asks to speak to his boss, por this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:

“I’ve already told tu twice, my husband, your boss, died last week! Why do tu keep calling?”

“Coz……”he replied laughing, “I just amor hearing it……………………”

Surd “excuse me sir, what time is it?”
Man: its 3:15

Surd (puzzled look on his face) “you know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that pregunta all day, and each time I get a different answer”.

Teacher: what are the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don’t know

Teacher: they are called Turks, now what are the people of Germany called?

Student: they are called Germs.
added by AnxiousSoul
Source: tumblr-l8m0vmZ33o1qc2zn8o1-1280.jpg
added by ace2000
added by ace2000
posted by CokeTheUmbreon
 Motherfucking animals! -Martin Garrix
Motherfucking animals! -Martin Garrix
Hey, Fanpoppers! CokeTheUmbreon here, and I'm gonna tell tu my favorito! yo mama jokes! Please note that I don't own most of these. The jokes I do own will have a misceláneo emoji por dem. I was bored thnx to the inactivity and my friend not being around to RP with me today.

P.S. The misceláneo emojis neither the Umbreon pics will fit the theme of the jokes.

Anyways, let's get it on!

Yo mama so fat when she walks her amor handles hit the quan. 😎

Yo mama so stank they use her bathwater as chemical weapons.

Yo mama so fat when she outweighs Groudon. 😈

Yo mama so ugly she gave Darkrai nightmares.

Yo mama...
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added by Eula2003
added by ace2000
posted by pinkydoll
1-Dolphin sleeps with one eye open.

2-"silent" and "listen" use exactly the same letters.

3-An octopus has two hearts

4-Bull frogs do not sleep.

5-There are más chickens than human in the world.

6-flamingos gets their distinctive color from the comida they eat.

7-The hair of polar oso, oso de is not white it's transparent.

8-Turtles can breathe through their rear-rends

9-The sun comprises 99% of total mass of our solar system.

10-Butterflies taste with their feet.

11-Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

12-there are about 550 hairs in each of your eyebrow.

13-A caracol can sleep for 3 years.

14-A human eye can distinguish 10 million different colors.

15-Women blink their eyes twice than men.
added by Mollymolata
added by Mollymolata
added by Mollymolata
added by ShadowFan100
added by 3xZ
posted by deathding
1. Play hide and seek!

2. Tell your boy/girlfriend how much tu amor them.

3. STREAKING! ^__^

4. Give everyone hugs!

5. Give the homeless all your money.

6. Take a shower! Don't want to be dirty before tu die.

7. Play the scariest horror game tu know.

8. Tell your friends all your deepest secrets.

9. Grab everything at Target. :D

10. Do the cinnamon challenge. With cocaine. (You're going to die anyways.)

11. más STREAKING! ^___^

12. Take a look back at your life's greatest moments.

13. Do that one thing you've always wanted to do. (In my case, skydiving.)

14. Play some Pac-Man. :P Just because.

15. Go...
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added by xwolf19
CELEBS WHO HAVE BEEN TURNED DOWN por THEIR CRUSHES

Not even the One Direction lads get dates with all the people they like! Here's a lista of celebs who have been turned down por their crushes.

Emma Watson: “Between the ages of ten and twelve I had a really terrible crush on Tom Felton, to the extent that I would go into work in the morning and look down the numbers on the call sheet to see if he was going to be in. We amor a bad guy, he was a few years older and he had a skateboard — and that just did it really." She confessed her feelings, but Tom saw Emma in a “younger, sisterly way.”...
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posted by KissKissHannah
There is someone on deviantART. Not enclosing names because they may also have a fanpop account. *shivers* My friend dicho he was a troll, but he's más than a troll. He's a big BULLY. (The person I mean. Not my friend) He dicho I bragged about being straight (How insulting) and dicho my drawings were *insert a word that rhymes with hit here*. ;n; That was only because I occasionally drew on bases. He also dicho I was más annoying than the annoying fangirls. Just because we have different opinions does NOT mean he has the right to bully me! I don't bully anyone who has different opinions! HE is the one that's más annoying than the annoying fangirls! >:U
posted by ZacharyWhite
When some misceláneo girl added me on facebook... She was all like "Oh gosh you're so cute" and I was like "Yeah, sure whatever..." The again she was all like "Oh God I amor your style!!!" Then again I was like "Yeah.. sure.." Then she dicho "Oh gosshhh!!! It's like I can hear your voice talking in your message!!! You're an emo right? I'm an emo tooooo!! :-D Oh it's like we're SO MEAN'T TO BE!!!" Then I finally realize and dicho to myself "Shit I have a fangirl... okay, I'm doomed."

Girl: Hello? tu still there?
Me: No...
Girl: Oh you're soooo funnyy :3 We are so the same!!! Ugh! I wish I could just...
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I am the boy who never finished high school because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl who was kicked out of her inicial because I confided in my mother I was a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who held her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled night.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in a hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away...
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added by Dreamtime
added by Gretulee