Apparently, this is what I do when I'm tired and slightly depressed. Go figure.

101 Great Uses for Eye-Patches!

1.    Wear it to cover your eye.
2.    Wear it to cover the hole where your eye used to be.
3.    Use it to prevent a hole ever being where your eye should be.
4.    Wear it to shield your eye from insects and other flying material.
5.    Wear two and pretend tu are blind.
6.    Wear none and pretend tu can see.
7.    Wear them as sunglasses when rendezvousing on the sun.
8.    Ditto the moon, o any other celestial body.
9.    Wear it as a lovely fashionable accessory.
10.    Wear it to make sure your contacts don’t fall out.
11.    Sew a few together and make a shirt.
12.    Make sure it’s clean and use it as a makeshift band aid.
13.    Make sure it’s not clean and give it to an enemy to use as a makeshift band aid.
14.    Improvise and it’s a nose-patch.
15.    Ditto with a mouth-patch.
16.    Repeat for any smallish body part.
17.    Burn one for smoke repellent against mosquitoes.
18.    Burn one for smoke repellent against humans.
19.    Use it as a handkerchief.
20.    Build up a collection of sorts and ward off any wild island animals.
21.    Eat it.
22.    Feed it to the sharks.
23.    Use them to build a fence to keep the sharks out of your water.
24.    Feed it to your dog.
25.    Use them to bribe the vet when tu bring your dog in to have one removed from its stomach.
26.    Spread them over the ground for a comfortable lumpy mattress.
27.    Use them to make voodoo dolls.
28.    Tie some together and you’ve got a jump rope.
29.    Tie some más together and you’ve got a longer jump rope.
30.    Tie even más together and make a ladder.
31.    Tie some ladders together and climb onto the roof.
32.    Use them as bandages for when tu fall off the roof.
33.    Use them to polish your ukulele.
34.    Use them to polish your head.
35.    Pile them in a heap.
36.    Call it abstract art.
37.    Make a pile in your yard in spring.
38.    Jump into it and pretend it’s fall.
39.    Place a few in front of your computer as inspiration the lista of 101 great uses for eye-patches.
40.    Throw them against the muro and yell at them when that plan fails.
41.    Use their mangled and bloody remains as inspiration instead.
42.    Write a song about them.
43.    Call the song “Ode to an Eye Patch”
44.    Upload the song on PureVolume.
45.    Blame the eye patches for all the negative comments.
46.    Wrap them around your door handle in the winter.
47.    Call the cops when someone keeps taking them from the handle.
48.    Brandish a few threateningly when the cops ask if this is a joke.
49.    Use them to bribe the police.
50.    Use them as extra nourishment and comfort while in jail.
51.    Thank them from keeping all your cell mates away from you.
52.    Pile them up in front of your door to keep your sister and her crazy friend from entering.
53.    Take them to the playa and use them as shelter from the sun.
54.    Blame them when tu have eye patch-shaped tanning lines on your back.
55.    Use them to have snowball fights in the summertime.
56.    Use them at Easter when tu realize tu already ate all your eggs.
57.    Thank them for reminding tu to save this lista before your computer dies.
58.    Use them as fake moustaches at Halloween.
59.    Give them out as dulces on Halloween.
60.    Look shocked when little kids call tu cheap.
61.    Write a book about them.
62.    Call it “Eye Patches: an unabridged history”
63.    Throw some eye patches at the phone when tu get your 57th rejection call.
64.    Decide to write another.
65.    Before tu send it out to publishers put the pen name “Eye Patch” on it.
66.    Look surprised when the publishers don’t even bother sending tu rejection letters.
67.    Use them to wipe bugs off the windshield of your car.
68.    Put the bug filled ones in your fridge for later.
69.    Store some in a high security bank bóveda, bóveda de for seguro keeping.
70.    Cry when they get stolen.
71.    Use one of the few left to dry your tears.
72.    Glare at the bank officials who look confused and ask why anyone would break into that vault.
73.    Stuff them in your ears when things get too noisy.
74.    Stuff them in your mouth when tu get too noisy.
75.    Stuff them in your belly button just for fun.
76.    Get depressed when people give your weird looks.
77.    Turn to your eye patches for help and comfort.
78.    And occasionally, psychotherapy.
79.    Make a net of them and use it as a trampoline.
80.    Line some extras underneath your “trampoline” just in case they don’t hold up during jumping.
81.    Curse yourself for not putting más under when tu break through.
82.    Jump up and down and scream when tu realize this lista is three pages long.
83.    Put one on and go visit your parents as an April fool’s joke.
84.    Frown when it falls off right when they open the door.
85.    Count them all.
86.    Re-count them all.
87.    Wonder how your two respuestas could be so different.
88.    Use them to pay a math tutor.
89.    Decide the snow is too white and scatter colorful ones all over your yard.
90.    Hold an eye patch making contest in your bedroom.
91.    Hand out eye patch trophies to the winners.
92.    Admire all five of your trophies.
93.    Use them to build a slip-n-slide.
94.    Jump on it and yell when tu realize it’s frozen.
95.    Run crying inside.
96.    Look confused when tu are informed that it is February.
97.    Cover yourself in eye patches to warm yourself up.
98.    Wonder why you’re too warm.
99.    Realize that the eye patches are on fire.
100.    Quickly put on an eye patch to stop your eye from burning.
101.    Realize too late that that eye patch is burning, too.