tell me a stupid joke

friends are like bananas.
If tu peel their skin off and eat them, they die.

stupid joke.

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
If tu have bird flu, tu need tweetment. If tu have swine flu, tu need oink-ment.

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?
Pick a cod, any cod!

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

What's the Internet's favorito! animal?
The lynx.

What is the Karate experts favorito! beverage?
Kara-tea.

What caused the airline to go bankrupt?
pista, pista de aterrizaje inflation.

What did the green uva say to the purple grape?
Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!

Where do Floridians wash their clothes?
In Fort Launderdale.

What's a frog's favorito! drink?
Croaka Cola.

What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.

Need an ark?

.... I Noah guy.

Why did the chicken cruzar, cruz the road?

One day, a man married a woman and both got a child.

-Knock knock.
Who's there?
-Your face.
What?

Why was the math book so sad....because he had a lot of problems

I only know funny ones.

Your mommas so dumb she took an I.Q. test and scored pretty low on it.

What'd worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Getting AIDS.

Fine.

A cowboy walked into town and saw a sign that dicho "Make the horse laugh and win a free beer" So me makes the horse laugh and goes in to claim his prize. The siguiente día he saw a sign that dicho "Make the horse cry win a free beer" So he makes the horse cry and goes in to claim his prize again. The bartender notices him from the día before and asked how he did it. He said: "Yesterday i dicho my balls were bigger and he laughed. Today I proved it."

me:hey why did i get a beard?

starnger:cuase tu wanted one

me:.............

Why aren't bananas straight?
- Because they like bananas

Justin Beiber's face. It makes me cry. D:

knock knock...who's there? Banana. plátano who?
knock knock...who's there? Banana. plátano who?Knock knock...who's there? Banana. plátano who?
knock knock...who's there? Banana. plátano who?
Knock knock...who's there? Orange. naranja who?
naranja tu GLAD I DIDN'T SAY BANANA!!!!

me: wow this test is super hard!!!
friend: THATS WHAT SHE SAID!!!!
me: *glares*

The most incredibly lame joke in the world. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One is a salted.

Okay, okay. Two men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would've seen it...

*insert your mom joke here*

Lamest joke i`ve ever heard

Q: what can a bird do that a boy can`t do?
A: they eat with their pecker.

Stupidest joke ever. -_-

How do tu spell F.B.I?
When is the 4th of July?
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

RandomPerson1: Guess what?
RandomPerson2: What?
RandomPerson1: Chicken Butt.


That literally spread throughout all the middle and high school at my school, and it still hasn't died out yet.

The roundest knight at the Round mesa, tabla was Sir Cumference.

My life...

Ok, so this hot guy walks into a bar. He sees the bottles of spirits and FREAKS. He. Breaks out -wait for it- RANTING about their order. The KID loves symmetry..... idk..... oh well...

Family Counselor: "So now, we've scheduled a día for me to come sometime siguiente week. I'll be taking a composition of observations and a full intake of your everday family life. tu don't have to pay any attention to me, I'll be a fly on the wall. It will be like I'm not there, and I'm an observer..."




Me: "Don't worry, we won't swat you."

What's silver and sharp?



The cuchillo that killed my father.

What's the difference between a paino and a fish?

tu can tune a paino but tu can't tuna fish!

wanna hear a joke about pizza?:D
just kiddinq its too cheesy
..................i heard this yesterday -_____-
stupidest joke ever....

what did the queen use to mesure stuff a ruler

What do tu call a movie that was filmed with a turd?

'Shot on Shit-eo'

He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.    

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool    

I met a girl at an internet cafe, but we didn't click.

I'm bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.