THE ORGINAL STORY:
SCENE ONE:
Man: (Cleaning a red Bodhi truck, witch is Trever's tradition car in the game).
Trevor: (comes in, wearing his traditional white t-shirt and sweat pants) Hey. Nice car man.
Man: Jee. Thanks mister..
Trevor: Say. Wanna see something, (gives the man a misceláneo magazine).
Man: (camera zoomed up on him) What am I suppose to do with this!?
Trevor: (shown in the car when the camera zoomed back out) It's suppose to distract tu as I steal your car.
Man: (angrily) Hey!
Trevor: (driving off) tu just been T-Jacked, bitch!
SCENE 2:
on: So boss. Now that tu took care of the bikers? What we gonna do.
Trevor. (stops at the Sandy Chores bank) tu are not doing anything. But 'I' am stopping por the bank here.. I have a deposit to check out.
Ron: Well.. Have fun I guess.
Trevor: (gets out, and grabs shotgun and then cocks it).. Ohh. I intend too!
Ron: (gasps) Wait! Is that a real gu- (Trevor runs in) TREVOR!
Trevor: (dramatically bursts in, wearing bike casco to hide his face, and fires the shotgun into the air) NOBODY MOVE! I'M MAKING A DEPOSIT!
SCENE 3:
Michael: I've been in hiding.. But I DO see a therapist every so often.
Trevor: Therapist huh? I tried that once.. Didn't go so well.
(cut away).
Trevor: (in a therapy room) I'm telling tu doc! I grieved him!.. And he wasn't even fuckin dead!.. The turd lied to me for all these years.
Doctor: I see.. And how dose that make tu feel.
Trevor: (angrily) What is it with you!? Always with "feelings"..
Doctor: Just trying t-
Trevor: I HAD A HARD LIFE ALRIGHT! MY DADDY, WAS NOT, NICE TO ME!
Doctor: And how dose that make tu f-
Trevor: (angrily breaks the doctors neck, killing him) FUCK tu BITCH! WHO THE FUCK tu SPEAKING TOO! WHO!?
Trevor: (angrily throws something) FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKER!
Trevor: ... FUUUCK!
SCENE 4:
Trevor: (to Micheal) Come on tu fat fuck!
SCENE 5:
Michael: (hearing FIREWORKS playing loudly in the truck) Is this Katy fuckin Perry!?
Trevor: Yes.. Look. Just leave it on, it helps relax me!
SCENE 6:
Michael: Where's Trevor?
Pilot: He dicho he was too busy..
Franklyn: What could that crazy man POSSIBLY be busy with!?
Michael: Who knows.. But I'm sure whatever it is, is completely violent and terrifying..
Meanwhile in Trevor's trailor house..
Pinkie: (sitting cutely)
Trevor: (literary training her) Alright.. Where gonna try this one más time.. (extends hand) Gimme paw?
Pinkie: ... (extends her hoof onto his hand)
Trevor: Good.. Now... Other paw.
Pinkie: ... (extends 'same' hoof).
Trevor: (annoyedly) No, 'other' paw!
Pinkie: ... (again extends the same hoof)
Trevor: (getting angry) For god sakes, we practiced this! Your gonna make me look bad in front of the others!
Trevor: other paw..
Pinkie: ... (finally extends the right hoof)
Trevor: Finally!
Pinkie: (annoyingly) tu know this reminds of the time wh-
Trevor: (deeply annoyed) Shut up!
SCENE 7:
Pinkie/Pinkamena: Coarse it is. tu been my owner all this time, and haven't even seen my show.
Trevor: Fine., but if this turns me into a bitch, your never hear the end of i-.
(brainwash sounds)
Voice: tu are now watching my little pony.
Trevor: (hyponotized) I m now watching my little pony
voice: My little poni, pony is the greatest mostrar tu ever seen. Except maybe family guy.
Trevor: (still brainwashed) My little poni, pony is the greatest mostrar I ever seen. Except maybe Family guy.
Voice: tu will recommend my little poni, pony and family guy to everybody tu know.
Trevor: (still brainwashed) I will recommend my little poni, pony and family guy to everyone I know.
Voice: tu will never stop talking about my little pony, o family guy.
Trevor: (still brainwashed) I will never stop talking about my little pony, o family guy.
(present time.. Witch is directly after the mission THREE'S COMPANY).
Trevor: Michael. Look at us, eh?.. New town. New set of problems. But the idiots. They stay the same.
Michael: Don't worry. Things will slow down soon.
Trevor: tu know what's NOT slowing down? My little pony. Greatest mostrar I seen sense family guy.
Michael: (annoyed) God, tu never shut up about those fuckin shows!
Trevor: (gets in helicopture).
Michael: I'll see tu later.
Trevor: Ohh, tu better believe it buddy.. (flies off).
SCENE 8:
Trevor: Perfect! It's a gang bang.. I even brought my own weapon (takes out his AK47, witch he gave several upgrades to.. Including a scoop, a handle, and naranja camo tape).
Franklyn: I already told tu I'm tire-
Trevor: (begins playing party party party por Andrew W.K. At high volume from inside Lamar's van).
SCENE 9:
Trevor: I want of the other side.
Dealer: No at ma-
Trevor: (sudden anger) Oh yeah, well, FUCK YOU! I didn't want it anyway.. (flips his middle finger at the dealers face).. I'll rather stay at home, then be with your motherfuckin fagot for the rest of the day.. Good día bitch.. (storms out, still pointing middle finger).
(awkward silence).
Trevor: (calmly returns soon after) Dude, I totally didn't mean that.
Trevor: I'm sorry we had that fight jut then. tu know, I mean. tu dicho some things. I dicho something's.. But let's just put it behind us, and try to be friends again.
Dealer: ... I'm still not giving tu it.
Trevor: (angrily flips him off again) WELL FUCK tu ASSHOLE! (tries grabbing it, revealing it to only be drywall with a key inside).
Trevor: Yo! That's a "close call with brick wall"!
Dealer: Isn't that an album for Andrew W.K.
Trevor: Sure is.. I like to "party hard" bitch!
Dealer: Wha-
Trevor: I "get wet" and like to "party hard"!.. "we want fun" asshole!
Dealer: Are tu just naming songs!?
Trevor: GET READY TO DIE!
Dealer: Yo! We got some motherfuckin buyers remorse over here! (slams door closed)
Trevor: YO, tu CAN'T FUCKIN HUSTLE A HUSTLER!
SCENE 10:
Michael: Look.. Brad got shot.. tu saw it.. He didn't make it.. I got shot, and did.. That's it!
Trevor: (still angry)
Michael: Hold on.. tu really angry, o just making yourself seem louder?
Trevor: I'M REALLY ANGRY!
The voice from Spongebob: Blistering Fury!
Trevor: tu were lying to me Mikey!..
SCENE 11:
Martin: Ahh. Glad tu could joi-... What's with the pony?
Trevor: (petting Pinkie as she's sitting beside him) She's loyal to me okay.. So deal with it.
Pinkie: ... Plus there's nothing on tv.
Martin: Whatever.. Anyway. I need tu to kill my cousin., shoot down the jet as he-
Trevor: (excited) Is he coming from Ireland!?.. Is he a leprechaun!?
Michael: (sitting on the other side of the couch, as it's big enough for all three), I highly doubt he's a lepre-
Trevor: Kick ass! I never killed a leprechaun before.. tu think if I shoot it, it will bleed out lucky charms!?
Pinkie: ... I too am wondering that
Martin: Guys foc-
Michael: Why would a leprechaun have private jet!?
Trevor: I don't know.. Maybe he-
Martin: GUYS!
SCENE 12:
Pinkie: (holding Scootaloo cutely) Boss, this my little friend Scootaloo.. arco iris Dash and I like to call her Scooty... I been asked to watch her for a bit.
Trevor: I see.
Pinkie: ... Wanna hold her?
Trevor: Sure, thanks.. (holds Scootaloo).
Pinkie: (looks at her watch for 2 segundos before looking back up) Okay, and now we- OH MY GOD!
Trevor: (accidentally killed Scootaloo within the 2 segundos Pinkie looked away) I'm sorry., I was just petting her, honest..
SCENE 13:
Trevor: my dad dropped ME as a baby and i turned out... something... (looks around) Where the hell am I?
SCENE 14:
Trevor: (throws him in the trunk) Make yourself comfortable, slick!.. (gets in the drivers seat).
Devin; tu won't get away with thi-
Trevor: (blasting death metal) Sorrry! Can't hear you!
SCENE 15:
Michael: (makes a large speech, witch ends in the four of them throwing the car down the cliff, with Devin still inside).
Trevor: ... Did anybody else get a boner just now?
SCENE 16:
-------------------------------------------------------------------
THE SEQUEL:
SCENE 1:
Trevor: I'm gonna kill tu Johnny!
Johnny: Why!? All I did was walk in, after being invited over.
Trevor: tu didn't fuckin bring anything for my birthday!
Johnny: It's your birthday? Well happy birthda-
Trevor: IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT!
Johnny: Trevor.. Calm down.. Your going on crazy on me!
Trevor: Don't mind if I DO! (Begins making monkey related noises).
Johnny: (realizing the danger Johnny breaks open a case labelled "Break glass in case of Trevor's insanity" and grabs the baseball bat within) Stay away from me Trevor!
Trevor: (Acting like Jack Torrance from The Shining) Give me the bat, Johnny.. Gimme the bat.. Come on. Gimme the bat.. Gimme the bat! (makes scary face) Ha ha ha! Scaredy cat! Bleaahhh... (Makes another scary face, then sees himself in a mirror) AAAAAHH!
Suddenly Trevor is hit in the neck por a extermely powerful tranquilizer dart. But somehow is still standing.
Johnny: (strangely impressed) YES!.. That's awesome!
Trevor: What?
Johnny: tu just took one in the jugular, man!
Trevor: What? I did. (feels his neck) Oh, my God. I did.
Johnny: tu better pull that shit out, man.. I mean. How are tu still standing?
Trevor: (the drug begins taking it's effect on him) Wait... What?... Pull what out?
Johnny: The dart!.. tu got a fucking dart in your neck, man!
Trevor: (laughing) You're. You're crazy, man.. I like you.. But you're crazy.
Trevor: (walking as if he's drunk) I need to lay down.. (suddenly he falls down on his face, and snoring is heard).
Carly: (comes in, holding Tranquillizer gun).
Johnny: (worried) Is he gonna be okay?
Carly: He'll be normal in a few hours?
Johnny: 'Normal' normal? o Trevor normal.
Carly: Trevor normal... (sighs) I wish I could understand WHY he always has to be like this.\
Johnny: What.. tu mean tu never seen his commerical?
TV COMMERICAL:
Trevor: (sitting on a long chair, beside a fireplace) Hi, I'm Trevor Phillips! And as tu may know, I am totally and completely INSANE! (deranged chuckle)... I like to yell at mice with my camisa, camiseta off!
[Cut to Trevor on all fours, shirtless, and literary screaming at a small mouse]
Trevor: (sitting on a long chair, beside a fireplace) Sometimes, I like to steal other people's scabs!
[Cut to a man standing at a bus stop with a visible scab on his knee. Trevor comes in, rips the scab off the man's knee, and runs down the calle holding it high in the air and screaming the entire way down].
Trevor: (sitting on a long chair, beside a fireplace) How do I stay so crazy!? [Holds up a bottle of pills] Trevor Phillips's Crazy Pills!.. Take one with breakfast! One with lunch!.. And before tu know it, you'll be up on your roof, pooping in the chimney!
[Cut to Trevor sitting on parte superior, arriba of a chimney]
Trevor: [Calling down] Hold out your stockings, kids!
SCENE 2:
Carly: So that's what happened?
Trevor: Yes..
Carly: tu went on a walk through the forest at midnight?
Trevor: Yup.
Carly: And tu shot thirty-six Alturists.
Trevor: Thirty-seven.
Trevor: Now... If tu don't mind, I've got things to do.
Carly: What "things"? tu don't do "things".
Trevor: Yes, I do. I take enthusiastic walks through the woods.
Carly: And kill homicidal cults?
Trevor: VERY enthusiastic walks.
SCENE 3:
mailman: (knocks on Trevor's Caravan).
Trevor: (bursts though door with loaded shotgun) WHAT DO tu WANT!
Mailman: (cowering in fear) tu got a letter! tu got a letter!
Trevor: (calmly takes letter) Thank tu god sir, tu are a value to mailmen everywhere..
Mailman: That mean tu not gonna kill me!?
Trevor: Fine.. I won't kill you.
Mailman: Thank go-
Trevor: Pinkie will..
Mailman: Who-
Pinkie: (suddenly and violently tackles the man, and violent beating sounds and sprays of blood fill the background).
Trevor: (calmly opening letter, making no attempts of stopping her).
Mailman: (screaming horribly).
Trevor: (calmly to pinkie, but not even looking up) Remember to go for the heart.
Pinkie: (off view) Yes boss.. (Ripping sounds)
Trevor: Good girl.
SCENE 4:
Michael: (stomps over to Trevor, grabs the cerveza he's drinking, and smashes it onto the ground).
Trevor: ... Problem?
Michael: Those fuckin cult friends of YOURS SHOT MY DAUGHTER! It's a damn good thing she and the baby are okay!
Trevor: (jumps up) SHE'S PREGNANT!.. Whose baby is that? Who's the man who did that to her!?
Michael: The biker.
Trevor: Trevor needs to gat that punk culo bitch!... There are three things I amor in this world: Kylie Minogue, small dimples, just above a woman's buttocks.
Michael: Beautiful features.
Trevor: And the fear in a man's eye when he know's I'm about to hurt him.
Michael: Well tu go near him and I'll break your nec-
Trevor: Yeah? tu wanna threaten me? tu WANNA THREATEN TO ME!? (leaps onto Michael) I'M GONNA MAKE tu EAT A BOWL OF HUMAN SHIT!... (screams like mad man starts destroying the room for no apparent reason).
(SHORTLY AFTER):
Pinkie: (comes in and sees the guys jumping and making gorilla sounds at each other).
Pinkie: Guys, guys, calm down.
Trevor: Fuck tu Michael!
Michael: No fuck tu Trevor... I don't like tu Trevor. I think you're a fake friend.. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If tu were in the wild, I would attack you, even if tu weren't in my comida chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and tu were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking EAT tu and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
Trevor: … OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If tu placed it near a river o some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But tu find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 o 30 friends, tu lose that battle, tu lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and dicho 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some más lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt tu and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.
Michael: How tu gonna do that?
Trevor: We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? hora forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where tu live, go back to the sea, get some más oxygen, and stalk you. tu just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned.
[pause]
Trevor: Did that go the way tu thought it was gonna go? Nope.
Pinkie: Guys, what is going on?
Michael: Trevor's naked friends killed my friend Connor, as they TRIED killing my fuckin DAUGHTER!
Trevor: They aren't my friends anymore.
Michael: What did tu do!?
Trevor: Okay.. But tu can't be mad at me.
Michael: (angrily) Trevor!
Trevor: Okay.. First off… I was minding own business.
Michael: (slams fist on table) BULLSHIT!
Trevor: (whining) I was!
Michael: And exactly what happened whilst tu were "minding your own business?"
Trevor: So I was just jogging though the forest, and suddenly they Schmucks surrounded me!
Alturists: (surround Trevor).
Trevor: (narrating) One of the shouted.
Alturist: GET ON YOUR KNEES!
Trevor: (narrating) And I replied with..
Trevor: (in the story) I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT!
Trevor: (narrating) And they took acceptation to that.
Alturists: (Violently open fire, but Trevor finds cover).
Trevor: (narrating) Buut.. tu know how that song and dance goes.
Trevor: (in story) AAAAAHHHHHHH! (brutally attacks them).
SCENE 5:
Carly: W -What do want Trevor?
Trevor: (Wearing ANDREW WK t-shirt, and holding fuego axe) To STOP that hellspring from ever reaching this earth.. To KILL your baby!
Carly: tu could of just used a needle o something.
Johnny: Hey!.. EVERYTHING is better with axes!.. Now!.. Hold still!
Carly: Like he-
Trevor: (kicks her onto ground).. Now!.. (raises axe) I don't want kill you, only your baby.. So hold still.. The slightest mistake can resolve into death, mutilation an- (sees out the window) oh look, they built a new put-put course.
SCENE 6:
Michael: T! tu got the vantage point! Give Dave a hand!
Trevor: This is the guy that Iced Brad.. And would of iced me!.. I'll be better off putting my sights on him!
Michael: Don't be an idiot!.. Most of the guys after me are because of you!.. And we need Dave alive!
Trevor: (screams angry Gibberish)
Michael: Hey! Leave Carly out of this!
Trevor: Lttiguy Hittigit thittagee addagalitigarm clidigock!
Michael: Yes.. I know about the baby..Just leave it alone!
Trevor: whibich wibould sibound libike thibis!
Michael: tu WATCH YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH!
SCENE 7:
Young Carly: Uncle Trevor?
Trevor: (wearing mascot costume on everything but his head) hola baby girl.. This time I think I got just the thing people will remember me for. I am gonna stop pollution with my new, lovable character, Gary the No-trash Cougar.
Young Carly: Wow.. That IS a good idea actually.
Trevor: Damn straight.. The school will amor me (puts on the mask, but it reveals to be the type of things NIGHTMARES are made of).
Young Carly: Uncle.. Their only my age.. 7 o 8 years ol-
Trevor: (in the scary costume) Not now Carly.. (cocks AP pistol).
Young Carly: (gasps) Wait, is that a real gu- (Trevor runs into the cafeteria) TREVOR!
Trevor bursts into the cafeteria, with the horrifying costume, and fires a live bullet into the roof to catch the attention of frightened little kids).
Trevor: (violently screaming) PICK UP YOUR TRASH!
Trevor: (still angry) I wanna know whose cup this is! (shoots his gun into the air) I dicho I WANNA KNOW WHO'S CUP THIS IS!
A frightened little girl timidly raises her hand.
Trevor: (points the gun at her) PICK IT UP!.. PICK IT UP! PICK IT UP! PICK IT UP!
The girl, frightened for her life, puts the trash in the garbadge.
Trevor: (calmly) Thank you, sweetie. See what a nicer place this is when we all pitch in? Like Gary the No-trash Cougar.. Give a larbage, throw out your garbage. Spread the word! (He fires his gun into the air as he leaves the room).
-------------------------------------------------------------------
THE NIKO/JOHNNY SERIES (crossover)
SCENE 1:
Trevor: Roman! How come tu didn't invite me to your wedding!?
Roman: Well.. tu burned down my Long playa apartment.
Trevor: Your still mad about that?
Roman: Yes.. Now please go away.
Trevor Fine.
LATER:
Roman: Well, Mallorie, I'm so excited about this we- OH MY GOD!
Trevor: (burned Roman's car) TAKE THAT ROMAN! (Maniacal laughter).
Roman: God damn it.. That's the segundo time this week!
Trevor: (still laughing as the cops come and throw him in their police car)
Mallorie: (sighs) I'll call a cap.
SCENE ONE:
Man: (Cleaning a red Bodhi truck, witch is Trever's tradition car in the game).
Trevor: (comes in, wearing his traditional white t-shirt and sweat pants) Hey. Nice car man.
Man: Jee. Thanks mister..
Trevor: Say. Wanna see something, (gives the man a misceláneo magazine).
Man: (camera zoomed up on him) What am I suppose to do with this!?
Trevor: (shown in the car when the camera zoomed back out) It's suppose to distract tu as I steal your car.
Man: (angrily) Hey!
Trevor: (driving off) tu just been T-Jacked, bitch!
SCENE 2:
on: So boss. Now that tu took care of the bikers? What we gonna do.
Trevor. (stops at the Sandy Chores bank) tu are not doing anything. But 'I' am stopping por the bank here.. I have a deposit to check out.
Ron: Well.. Have fun I guess.
Trevor: (gets out, and grabs shotgun and then cocks it).. Ohh. I intend too!
Ron: (gasps) Wait! Is that a real gu- (Trevor runs in) TREVOR!
Trevor: (dramatically bursts in, wearing bike casco to hide his face, and fires the shotgun into the air) NOBODY MOVE! I'M MAKING A DEPOSIT!
SCENE 3:
Michael: I've been in hiding.. But I DO see a therapist every so often.
Trevor: Therapist huh? I tried that once.. Didn't go so well.
(cut away).
Trevor: (in a therapy room) I'm telling tu doc! I grieved him!.. And he wasn't even fuckin dead!.. The turd lied to me for all these years.
Doctor: I see.. And how dose that make tu feel.
Trevor: (angrily) What is it with you!? Always with "feelings"..
Doctor: Just trying t-
Trevor: I HAD A HARD LIFE ALRIGHT! MY DADDY, WAS NOT, NICE TO ME!
Doctor: And how dose that make tu f-
Trevor: (angrily breaks the doctors neck, killing him) FUCK tu BITCH! WHO THE FUCK tu SPEAKING TOO! WHO!?
Trevor: (angrily throws something) FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKER!
Trevor: ... FUUUCK!
SCENE 4:
Trevor: (to Micheal) Come on tu fat fuck!
SCENE 5:
Michael: (hearing FIREWORKS playing loudly in the truck) Is this Katy fuckin Perry!?
Trevor: Yes.. Look. Just leave it on, it helps relax me!
SCENE 6:
Michael: Where's Trevor?
Pilot: He dicho he was too busy..
Franklyn: What could that crazy man POSSIBLY be busy with!?
Michael: Who knows.. But I'm sure whatever it is, is completely violent and terrifying..
Meanwhile in Trevor's trailor house..
Pinkie: (sitting cutely)
Trevor: (literary training her) Alright.. Where gonna try this one más time.. (extends hand) Gimme paw?
Pinkie: ... (extends her hoof onto his hand)
Trevor: Good.. Now... Other paw.
Pinkie: ... (extends 'same' hoof).
Trevor: (annoyedly) No, 'other' paw!
Pinkie: ... (again extends the same hoof)
Trevor: (getting angry) For god sakes, we practiced this! Your gonna make me look bad in front of the others!
Trevor: other paw..
Pinkie: ... (finally extends the right hoof)
Trevor: Finally!
Pinkie: (annoyingly) tu know this reminds of the time wh-
Trevor: (deeply annoyed) Shut up!
SCENE 7:
Pinkie/Pinkamena: Coarse it is. tu been my owner all this time, and haven't even seen my show.
Trevor: Fine., but if this turns me into a bitch, your never hear the end of i-.
(brainwash sounds)
Voice: tu are now watching my little pony.
Trevor: (hyponotized) I m now watching my little pony
voice: My little poni, pony is the greatest mostrar tu ever seen. Except maybe family guy.
Trevor: (still brainwashed) My little poni, pony is the greatest mostrar I ever seen. Except maybe Family guy.
Voice: tu will recommend my little poni, pony and family guy to everybody tu know.
Trevor: (still brainwashed) I will recommend my little poni, pony and family guy to everyone I know.
Voice: tu will never stop talking about my little pony, o family guy.
Trevor: (still brainwashed) I will never stop talking about my little pony, o family guy.
(present time.. Witch is directly after the mission THREE'S COMPANY).
Trevor: Michael. Look at us, eh?.. New town. New set of problems. But the idiots. They stay the same.
Michael: Don't worry. Things will slow down soon.
Trevor: tu know what's NOT slowing down? My little pony. Greatest mostrar I seen sense family guy.
Michael: (annoyed) God, tu never shut up about those fuckin shows!
Trevor: (gets in helicopture).
Michael: I'll see tu later.
Trevor: Ohh, tu better believe it buddy.. (flies off).
SCENE 8:
Trevor: Perfect! It's a gang bang.. I even brought my own weapon (takes out his AK47, witch he gave several upgrades to.. Including a scoop, a handle, and naranja camo tape).
Franklyn: I already told tu I'm tire-
Trevor: (begins playing party party party por Andrew W.K. At high volume from inside Lamar's van).
SCENE 9:
Trevor: I want of the other side.
Dealer: No at ma-
Trevor: (sudden anger) Oh yeah, well, FUCK YOU! I didn't want it anyway.. (flips his middle finger at the dealers face).. I'll rather stay at home, then be with your motherfuckin fagot for the rest of the day.. Good día bitch.. (storms out, still pointing middle finger).
(awkward silence).
Trevor: (calmly returns soon after) Dude, I totally didn't mean that.
Trevor: I'm sorry we had that fight jut then. tu know, I mean. tu dicho some things. I dicho something's.. But let's just put it behind us, and try to be friends again.
Dealer: ... I'm still not giving tu it.
Trevor: (angrily flips him off again) WELL FUCK tu ASSHOLE! (tries grabbing it, revealing it to only be drywall with a key inside).
Trevor: Yo! That's a "close call with brick wall"!
Dealer: Isn't that an album for Andrew W.K.
Trevor: Sure is.. I like to "party hard" bitch!
Dealer: Wha-
Trevor: I "get wet" and like to "party hard"!.. "we want fun" asshole!
Dealer: Are tu just naming songs!?
Trevor: GET READY TO DIE!
Dealer: Yo! We got some motherfuckin buyers remorse over here! (slams door closed)
Trevor: YO, tu CAN'T FUCKIN HUSTLE A HUSTLER!
SCENE 10:
Michael: Look.. Brad got shot.. tu saw it.. He didn't make it.. I got shot, and did.. That's it!
Trevor: (still angry)
Michael: Hold on.. tu really angry, o just making yourself seem louder?
Trevor: I'M REALLY ANGRY!
The voice from Spongebob: Blistering Fury!
Trevor: tu were lying to me Mikey!..
SCENE 11:
Martin: Ahh. Glad tu could joi-... What's with the pony?
Trevor: (petting Pinkie as she's sitting beside him) She's loyal to me okay.. So deal with it.
Pinkie: ... Plus there's nothing on tv.
Martin: Whatever.. Anyway. I need tu to kill my cousin., shoot down the jet as he-
Trevor: (excited) Is he coming from Ireland!?.. Is he a leprechaun!?
Michael: (sitting on the other side of the couch, as it's big enough for all three), I highly doubt he's a lepre-
Trevor: Kick ass! I never killed a leprechaun before.. tu think if I shoot it, it will bleed out lucky charms!?
Pinkie: ... I too am wondering that
Martin: Guys foc-
Michael: Why would a leprechaun have private jet!?
Trevor: I don't know.. Maybe he-
Martin: GUYS!
SCENE 12:
Pinkie: (holding Scootaloo cutely) Boss, this my little friend Scootaloo.. arco iris Dash and I like to call her Scooty... I been asked to watch her for a bit.
Trevor: I see.
Pinkie: ... Wanna hold her?
Trevor: Sure, thanks.. (holds Scootaloo).
Pinkie: (looks at her watch for 2 segundos before looking back up) Okay, and now we- OH MY GOD!
Trevor: (accidentally killed Scootaloo within the 2 segundos Pinkie looked away) I'm sorry., I was just petting her, honest..
SCENE 13:
Trevor: my dad dropped ME as a baby and i turned out... something... (looks around) Where the hell am I?
SCENE 14:
Trevor: (throws him in the trunk) Make yourself comfortable, slick!.. (gets in the drivers seat).
Devin; tu won't get away with thi-
Trevor: (blasting death metal) Sorrry! Can't hear you!
SCENE 15:
Michael: (makes a large speech, witch ends in the four of them throwing the car down the cliff, with Devin still inside).
Trevor: ... Did anybody else get a boner just now?
SCENE 16:
-------------------------------------------------------------------
THE SEQUEL:
SCENE 1:
Trevor: I'm gonna kill tu Johnny!
Johnny: Why!? All I did was walk in, after being invited over.
Trevor: tu didn't fuckin bring anything for my birthday!
Johnny: It's your birthday? Well happy birthda-
Trevor: IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT!
Johnny: Trevor.. Calm down.. Your going on crazy on me!
Trevor: Don't mind if I DO! (Begins making monkey related noises).
Johnny: (realizing the danger Johnny breaks open a case labelled "Break glass in case of Trevor's insanity" and grabs the baseball bat within) Stay away from me Trevor!
Trevor: (Acting like Jack Torrance from The Shining) Give me the bat, Johnny.. Gimme the bat.. Come on. Gimme the bat.. Gimme the bat! (makes scary face) Ha ha ha! Scaredy cat! Bleaahhh... (Makes another scary face, then sees himself in a mirror) AAAAAHH!
Suddenly Trevor is hit in the neck por a extermely powerful tranquilizer dart. But somehow is still standing.
Johnny: (strangely impressed) YES!.. That's awesome!
Trevor: What?
Johnny: tu just took one in the jugular, man!
Trevor: What? I did. (feels his neck) Oh, my God. I did.
Johnny: tu better pull that shit out, man.. I mean. How are tu still standing?
Trevor: (the drug begins taking it's effect on him) Wait... What?... Pull what out?
Johnny: The dart!.. tu got a fucking dart in your neck, man!
Trevor: (laughing) You're. You're crazy, man.. I like you.. But you're crazy.
Trevor: (walking as if he's drunk) I need to lay down.. (suddenly he falls down on his face, and snoring is heard).
Carly: (comes in, holding Tranquillizer gun).
Johnny: (worried) Is he gonna be okay?
Carly: He'll be normal in a few hours?
Johnny: 'Normal' normal? o Trevor normal.
Carly: Trevor normal... (sighs) I wish I could understand WHY he always has to be like this.\
Johnny: What.. tu mean tu never seen his commerical?
TV COMMERICAL:
Trevor: (sitting on a long chair, beside a fireplace) Hi, I'm Trevor Phillips! And as tu may know, I am totally and completely INSANE! (deranged chuckle)... I like to yell at mice with my camisa, camiseta off!
[Cut to Trevor on all fours, shirtless, and literary screaming at a small mouse]
Trevor: (sitting on a long chair, beside a fireplace) Sometimes, I like to steal other people's scabs!
[Cut to a man standing at a bus stop with a visible scab on his knee. Trevor comes in, rips the scab off the man's knee, and runs down the calle holding it high in the air and screaming the entire way down].
Trevor: (sitting on a long chair, beside a fireplace) How do I stay so crazy!? [Holds up a bottle of pills] Trevor Phillips's Crazy Pills!.. Take one with breakfast! One with lunch!.. And before tu know it, you'll be up on your roof, pooping in the chimney!
[Cut to Trevor sitting on parte superior, arriba of a chimney]
Trevor: [Calling down] Hold out your stockings, kids!
SCENE 2:
Carly: So that's what happened?
Trevor: Yes..
Carly: tu went on a walk through the forest at midnight?
Trevor: Yup.
Carly: And tu shot thirty-six Alturists.
Trevor: Thirty-seven.
Trevor: Now... If tu don't mind, I've got things to do.
Carly: What "things"? tu don't do "things".
Trevor: Yes, I do. I take enthusiastic walks through the woods.
Carly: And kill homicidal cults?
Trevor: VERY enthusiastic walks.
SCENE 3:
mailman: (knocks on Trevor's Caravan).
Trevor: (bursts though door with loaded shotgun) WHAT DO tu WANT!
Mailman: (cowering in fear) tu got a letter! tu got a letter!
Trevor: (calmly takes letter) Thank tu god sir, tu are a value to mailmen everywhere..
Mailman: That mean tu not gonna kill me!?
Trevor: Fine.. I won't kill you.
Mailman: Thank go-
Trevor: Pinkie will..
Mailman: Who-
Pinkie: (suddenly and violently tackles the man, and violent beating sounds and sprays of blood fill the background).
Trevor: (calmly opening letter, making no attempts of stopping her).
Mailman: (screaming horribly).
Trevor: (calmly to pinkie, but not even looking up) Remember to go for the heart.
Pinkie: (off view) Yes boss.. (Ripping sounds)
Trevor: Good girl.
SCENE 4:
Michael: (stomps over to Trevor, grabs the cerveza he's drinking, and smashes it onto the ground).
Trevor: ... Problem?
Michael: Those fuckin cult friends of YOURS SHOT MY DAUGHTER! It's a damn good thing she and the baby are okay!
Trevor: (jumps up) SHE'S PREGNANT!.. Whose baby is that? Who's the man who did that to her!?
Michael: The biker.
Trevor: Trevor needs to gat that punk culo bitch!... There are three things I amor in this world: Kylie Minogue, small dimples, just above a woman's buttocks.
Michael: Beautiful features.
Trevor: And the fear in a man's eye when he know's I'm about to hurt him.
Michael: Well tu go near him and I'll break your nec-
Trevor: Yeah? tu wanna threaten me? tu WANNA THREATEN TO ME!? (leaps onto Michael) I'M GONNA MAKE tu EAT A BOWL OF HUMAN SHIT!... (screams like mad man starts destroying the room for no apparent reason).
(SHORTLY AFTER):
Pinkie: (comes in and sees the guys jumping and making gorilla sounds at each other).
Pinkie: Guys, guys, calm down.
Trevor: Fuck tu Michael!
Michael: No fuck tu Trevor... I don't like tu Trevor. I think you're a fake friend.. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If tu were in the wild, I would attack you, even if tu weren't in my comida chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and tu were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking EAT tu and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
Trevor: … OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If tu placed it near a river o some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But tu find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 o 30 friends, tu lose that battle, tu lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and dicho 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some más lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt tu and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.
Michael: How tu gonna do that?
Trevor: We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? hora forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where tu live, go back to the sea, get some más oxygen, and stalk you. tu just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned.
[pause]
Trevor: Did that go the way tu thought it was gonna go? Nope.
Pinkie: Guys, what is going on?
Michael: Trevor's naked friends killed my friend Connor, as they TRIED killing my fuckin DAUGHTER!
Trevor: They aren't my friends anymore.
Michael: What did tu do!?
Trevor: Okay.. But tu can't be mad at me.
Michael: (angrily) Trevor!
Trevor: Okay.. First off… I was minding own business.
Michael: (slams fist on table) BULLSHIT!
Trevor: (whining) I was!
Michael: And exactly what happened whilst tu were "minding your own business?"
Trevor: So I was just jogging though the forest, and suddenly they Schmucks surrounded me!
Alturists: (surround Trevor).
Trevor: (narrating) One of the shouted.
Alturist: GET ON YOUR KNEES!
Trevor: (narrating) And I replied with..
Trevor: (in the story) I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT!
Trevor: (narrating) And they took acceptation to that.
Alturists: (Violently open fire, but Trevor finds cover).
Trevor: (narrating) Buut.. tu know how that song and dance goes.
Trevor: (in story) AAAAAHHHHHHH! (brutally attacks them).
SCENE 5:
Carly: W -What do want Trevor?
Trevor: (Wearing ANDREW WK t-shirt, and holding fuego axe) To STOP that hellspring from ever reaching this earth.. To KILL your baby!
Carly: tu could of just used a needle o something.
Johnny: Hey!.. EVERYTHING is better with axes!.. Now!.. Hold still!
Carly: Like he-
Trevor: (kicks her onto ground).. Now!.. (raises axe) I don't want kill you, only your baby.. So hold still.. The slightest mistake can resolve into death, mutilation an- (sees out the window) oh look, they built a new put-put course.
SCENE 6:
Michael: T! tu got the vantage point! Give Dave a hand!
Trevor: This is the guy that Iced Brad.. And would of iced me!.. I'll be better off putting my sights on him!
Michael: Don't be an idiot!.. Most of the guys after me are because of you!.. And we need Dave alive!
Trevor: (screams angry Gibberish)
Michael: Hey! Leave Carly out of this!
Trevor: Lttiguy Hittigit thittagee addagalitigarm clidigock!
Michael: Yes.. I know about the baby..Just leave it alone!
Trevor: whibich wibould sibound libike thibis!
Michael: tu WATCH YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH!
SCENE 7:
Young Carly: Uncle Trevor?
Trevor: (wearing mascot costume on everything but his head) hola baby girl.. This time I think I got just the thing people will remember me for. I am gonna stop pollution with my new, lovable character, Gary the No-trash Cougar.
Young Carly: Wow.. That IS a good idea actually.
Trevor: Damn straight.. The school will amor me (puts on the mask, but it reveals to be the type of things NIGHTMARES are made of).
Young Carly: Uncle.. Their only my age.. 7 o 8 years ol-
Trevor: (in the scary costume) Not now Carly.. (cocks AP pistol).
Young Carly: (gasps) Wait, is that a real gu- (Trevor runs into the cafeteria) TREVOR!
Trevor bursts into the cafeteria, with the horrifying costume, and fires a live bullet into the roof to catch the attention of frightened little kids).
Trevor: (violently screaming) PICK UP YOUR TRASH!
Trevor: (still angry) I wanna know whose cup this is! (shoots his gun into the air) I dicho I WANNA KNOW WHO'S CUP THIS IS!
A frightened little girl timidly raises her hand.
Trevor: (points the gun at her) PICK IT UP!.. PICK IT UP! PICK IT UP! PICK IT UP!
The girl, frightened for her life, puts the trash in the garbadge.
Trevor: (calmly) Thank you, sweetie. See what a nicer place this is when we all pitch in? Like Gary the No-trash Cougar.. Give a larbage, throw out your garbage. Spread the word! (He fires his gun into the air as he leaves the room).
-------------------------------------------------------------------
THE NIKO/JOHNNY SERIES (crossover)
SCENE 1:
Trevor: Roman! How come tu didn't invite me to your wedding!?
Roman: Well.. tu burned down my Long playa apartment.
Trevor: Your still mad about that?
Roman: Yes.. Now please go away.
Trevor Fine.
LATER:
Roman: Well, Mallorie, I'm so excited about this we- OH MY GOD!
Trevor: (burned Roman's car) TAKE THAT ROMAN! (Maniacal laughter).
Roman: God damn it.. That's the segundo time this week!
Trevor: (still laughing as the cops come and throw him in their police car)
Mallorie: (sighs) I'll call a cap.
I watched these last week but forgot too review them..
I'm not sure what too say (surprise, surprise).
But I liked these episodes.. The mostrar should be más about that detective now that I like him.
I hear Johan lives in the end.. And as for the sister.. Is she even real? I'm not sure.. The mostrar is so confusing.. I mean what the fuck is going on!?
But hey, I only have 24 más episodes.. I made it this far..
I can do it!
FILLER:
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I'm not sure what too say (surprise, surprise).
But I liked these episodes.. The mostrar should be más about that detective now that I like him.
I hear Johan lives in the end.. And as for the sister.. Is she even real? I'm not sure.. The mostrar is so confusing.. I mean what the fuck is going on!?
But hey, I only have 24 más episodes.. I made it this far..
I can do it!
FILLER:
fjdjfmdkovdjfoiijdogijdfiopejkfo9jpew8fje890wfhe8fhe8h0gfje8gfhje90fje9kfl9ire90jfkc9jfke9jfkejfkcef098jcekfieggfgggggggggrigkrogikrdlfoekflpoekg9jrg9g
#1: Jimmy Pegorino:
Jimmy is the hot headed mob boss, who orders tu to kill Ray.
And unwittingly kills Kate McReary if the player choses REVENGE.
Even though Jimmy is a complete dick.
There's something about that voice actor.
Just like there's 'something' about the voice actors of Michael Townley, Trevor Phillips, Johnny Klibitz, Niko Bellic, Rocco Poloski, Packie McReary, and even Brian.
Anyway.
I ironically didn't realize I liked him until I heard his dramatic scream at Niko, at the wedding, witch lead to Kate's tragic death.
I don't know enough, to say rather not this was bad aim not.
But either way. He's still here on the list..
#2: Max Payne 3: New Jersey Mob:
This one, I REALLY don't understand why I like them.
But none the less.
Their are times when I stand behind cover listening to the extended dialogue between them. and all the threats and taunts they scream at me..
#3: ........
Huh.. Guess there's only two actually..
Please leave comments
Jimmy is the hot headed mob boss, who orders tu to kill Ray.
And unwittingly kills Kate McReary if the player choses REVENGE.
Even though Jimmy is a complete dick.
There's something about that voice actor.
Just like there's 'something' about the voice actors of Michael Townley, Trevor Phillips, Johnny Klibitz, Niko Bellic, Rocco Poloski, Packie McReary, and even Brian.
Anyway.
I ironically didn't realize I liked him until I heard his dramatic scream at Niko, at the wedding, witch lead to Kate's tragic death.
I don't know enough, to say rather not this was bad aim not.
But either way. He's still here on the list..
#2: Max Payne 3: New Jersey Mob:
This one, I REALLY don't understand why I like them.
But none the less.
Their are times when I stand behind cover listening to the extended dialogue between them. and all the threats and taunts they scream at me..
#3: ........
Huh.. Guess there's only two actually..
Please leave comments