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posted by Canada24
"Look, I was gonna go easy on tu not to hurt your feelings
But I'm only going to get this one chance
(Six minutes, six minutes)
Something's wrong, I can feel it
(Six minutes, six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
Just a feeling I've got
Like something's about to happen
But I don't know what
If that means, what I think it means, we're in trouble
Big trouble. And if he is as bananas as tu say
I'm not taking any chances

YOUR JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDER!!

I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God! (Rap God).
All my people from the front to the back nod! (Back nod).
Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box! (Slap box).
They dicho I rap like a robot!
so call me rap-bot!

But for me to rap like a computer, must be in my genes!
I got a laptop in my back pocket!
My pen'll go off when I half-cock it!
Got a fat knot from that rap profit!
Made a living and a killing off it!
Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office!
With Monica Lewinski feeling on his (nutsack).
I'm an MC still as honest.
But as rude and as indecent as all hell.
Syllables, skill-a-holic! (Kill 'em all with)
This flippity, dippity-hippityhip-hop-hibbdy!
tu don't really wanna get into a pissing match
With this rappity-rap.
Packing a mack in the back of the Ac.
backpack rap-crap-yap-yap-yackety-yack!
and at the exact same time!
I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while I'm practicing that!
I’ll-still-be-able-to-break-a-motherfuckin-table-over-the-back-of-a-couple-of-faggots-and-crack-it-in-half!
Only realized it was ironic.
I was signed to Aftermath after the fact.
How could I not blow? All I do is drop "F” bombs!?
Feel my wrath of attack.
Rappers are having a rough time period.
Here's a Maxi-Pad.
It's actually disastrously bad.
For the wack while I'm masterfully constructing this masterpiece yeah.

I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God! (Rap God).
All my people from the front to the back nod! (Back nod).
Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box! (Slap box).
They dicho I rap like a robot!
so call me rap-bot!

Everybody want the key and the secret to rap Immortality like I have got!
Well, to be truthful the blueprint’s!
Simply rage and youthful exuberance!
Everybody loves to root for a nuisance!
Hit the earth like an asteroid!
and did nothing but shoot for the moon since! (PPEEYOOM)
MC's get taken to school with this music!
'Cause I use it as a vehicle to 'bus the rhyme’.
Now I lead a New School full of students.
Me? Me, I'm a product of Rakim.
Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac, N-W-A., Cube, hey, Doc, Ren.
Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim.
Inspired enough to one día grow up.
Blow up and being in a position.
To meet Run-D.M.C. and induct them.
Into the motherfuckin' Rock n’.
Roll Hall of Fame even though I walk in the church.
And burst in a ball of flames.
Only Hall of Fame I'll be inducted in is the alcohol of fame!
On the muro of shame!
tu fags think it's all a game!
'Til I walk a flock of flames!
Off a plank and!
Tell me what in the fuck are tu thinking?
Little-gay-looking-boy!
So gay I can barely say it with a 'straight' face looking boy!
You're witnessing a mass-occur like you're watching a church gathering!
And take place looking boy!
Oy vey, that boy's gay!
That's all they say looking boy!
tu get a thumbs up, pat on the back!
And a "way to go" from your label every día looking boy!
Hey, looking boy, what d'you say looking boy!?
I get a "hell yeah" from Dre looking boy!
I'mma work for everything I have!
Never asked nobody for shit!
Git out my face looking boy!
Basically boy you're never gonna be capable!
of keeping up with the same pace looking boy, ‘cause!

I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God! (Rap God)
All my people from the front to the back nod! (Back nod)
The way I'm racing around the track, call me Nascar! (Nascar)
Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park!
The White Trash God!
Kneel before General Zod this planet's Krypton!\
No Asgard! (Asgard)

So you'll be Thor and I'll be Odin!
tu rodent, I'm omnipotent!
Let off then I'm reloading!
Immediately with these bombs I'm totin’!
And I should not be woken!
I'm the walking dead!
But I'm just a talking head, a zombie floating!
But I got your mom deep throating!
I'm out my ramen Noodle!
We have nothing in common, poodle!
I'm a Doberman, pinch yourself!
In the arm and pay homage, pupil!
It's me!
My honesty's brutal!
But it's honestly futile if I don't utilize!
What I do though for good!
At least once in a while so I wanna make sure!
Somewhere in this chicken scratch I scribble and doodle!
Enough rhymes to!
Maybe try to help get some people through tough times!
But I gotta keep a few punchlines!
Just in case 'cause even tu unsigned!
Rappers are hungry looking at me like it's lunchtime!
I know there was a time where once I!
Was king of the underground!
But I still rap like I'm on my Pharoahe Monch grind!
So I crunch rhymes!
But sometimes when tu combine!
Appeal with the skin color of mine!
tu get too big and here they come trying to!
Censor tu like that one line I said!
On "I'm Back" from the Mathers LP!
One when I tried to say I'll take seven kids from Columbine!
Put 'em all in a line!
Add an AK-47, a revolver and a nine!
See if I get away with it now!
That I ain't as big as I was, but I’m!
Morphin' into an immortal coming through the portal!
You're stuck in a time warp from two thousand four though!
And I don't know what the fuck that tu rhyme for!
You're pointless as Rapunzel!
With fucking cornrows!
tu write normal.
fuck being normal!
And I just bought a new rayo, ray gun, from the future!
Just to come and shoot ya!
Like when Fabulous made rayo, ray J mad!
'Cause Fab dicho he looked like a fag!
At Mayweather's pad singin' to a man!
While he play piano!
Man, oh man, that was the 24/7 special.
On the cable channel,
So rayo, ray J went straight to radio station the very siguiente day.

"Hey, Fab, I'mma kill you”

Lyrics coming at tu at supersonic speed!

Uh-summa-lumma-dooma-lumma-you-assuming-I’m-a-human-what-I-gotta-do-to-get-it-through-to-you-I’m-superhuman-innovative-and-I’m-made-of rubber-so-that-anything-you-say-is-ricochet-in-off-me-and-it’ll-glue-to-you-and-I’m-devastating-more-than-ever-demonstrating-how-to-give-a-motherfuckin’-audience-a-feeling-like-it’s-levitating-never-fading-and-I-know-that-haters-are-forever-waiting-for-the-day-that-they-can-say-I fell-off-they’ll-be-celebrating-cause-I-know-the-way-to-get-em-motivated-I-make-elevating-music!

tu make elevator music!

"Oh, he's too mainstream."
Well, that's what they do.
When they get jealous, they confuse it.
"It's not hip hop, it's pop."
'Cause I found a hella way to fuse it.
With rock, shock rap with Doc.
Throw on "Lose Yourself" and make 'em lose it.
I don't know how to make songs like that.
I don't know what words to use.
Let me know when it occurs to you.
While I'm ripping any one of these verses that versus you
It's curtains, I'm inadvertently hurtin' you
How many verses I gotta murder to
Prove that if tu were half as nice,
your songs tu could sacrifice virgins to
Unghh, school flunky, pill junky
But look at the accolades these skills brung me
Full of myself, but still hungry
I bully myself 'cause I make me do what I put my mind to
When I'm a million leagues above you
Ill when I speak in tongues
But it's still tongue-and-cheek, fuck you
I'm drunk so Satan take the fucking wheel
I'm asleep in the front seat
Bumping Heavy D and the Boys
"Still chunky, but funky"
But in my head there's something
I can feel tugging and struggling
ángeles fight with devils and
Here's what they want from me
They're asking me to eliminate some of the women hate
But if tu take into consideration the amargo, amargos hatred I had
Then tu may be a little patient and más sympathetic to the situation
And understand the discrimination
But fuck it
Life's handing tu lemons
Make limonada then
But if I can't batter the women
How the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?
Don't mistake him for Satan
It's a fatal mistake if tu think I need to be overseas
And take a vacation to trip a broad
And make her fall on her face and
Don't be a retard, be a king?
Think not.
Why be a king, when tu can be a God!
According to Cinema Snob this movie use to be called

"Rape and revenge"

Really gives away the ending, doesn't it?

This movie is banned in my own country.
And for good reason.

Any SANE person would be left with this reaction.



You know.. The same one from Cannibal Halocoast.. o the Twilight movies.

The film is noted for its controversial depiction of graphic violence, nudity, obscene language, and lengthy depictions of gang rape which take up 30 minutos of the film's runtime.

Yeah.. Who wants to spent 30 minutos watching some poor woman getting assaulted por hillbillies simply cause she has tits...
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In my opinion, it's más depressing than scary


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I like to think I live a nice life. I own a cozy, 3 bedroom inicial in a quiet neighborhood in the suburbs. I have a wife I care about deeply and a 9 año old son who is my world. I enjoy my job as an accountant, and I'm well recognized in the community. I can confidently say I greatly enjoy living and appreciate all that I have earned. I only wish my entire life had been like this.

You see, throughout my teens and early adulthood, I suffered from severe anxiety issues stemming from an...
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This was deleted for some reason.. So redoing it..


#1: HARMING/KILLING CHILDREN:
As bad as Trevor Phillips can get.
Joker is still worse.
Joker has no boundaries, he grabbed Robin hostage when he was still a little kid in the show, tortured him for weeks on straight, and made the poor boy go insane.
Joker would burn down a orphanage full of sick childrun because he's "bored".
He does something even worse.
The Joker gives unsuspecting children poisoned cotton candy, and the children instantly died, but does the Joker feel remorse?
No he just laughs maniacally..


#2: KILLING PEOPLE WITH SHARDS OF GLASS:...
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#1: GIVE IT EVERYTHING:
It's kinda hard to summarize this story, but basically it's a set of emails, where a man gets a mysterious dog on his front yard, holding a sign saying "give it everything", and gave it too his son. But the kid begins actuación weird after that. And the dog watches him sleep, not in a cute way, but disturbing way.
In each email, the writer becomes más and más paranoid.
I won't spoil much, so your have to read the story.
But it's scarier than tu think.. Especially when THATCREEPYREADING reads it to you..


#2: NO HOMOPHONES:
The narrator is fucking NUTS. As a kid, he got...
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#1: MAKE PAYNE 3 - uzi (or Micro SMG if tu prefer):
I never played the others. I play Max Payne 3 as it's OWN game.. The 3rd games gives enough to understand the character.. His family is dead, he's rarely serious, he has a serious temper issue, but he's a decent human being, even though he believes he's NOT.
Anyway. Max seems to prefer hand weapons.
In all cutscenes, if your using a shotgun o machine gun, he will hold it in his other hand while holding a handgun as the actual weapon, and after each cut scene tu always have to switch back to it. Something that confused the first time, I did...
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#1:
Elizabeth: I have absolutely no intention of marrying Everard. I'm sorry to upset your plans, but...
Elizabeth's Father: Plans did tu say? My one and only plan, dear girl, is to see tu as happy as possible, and I would never dream of forcing tu to do something tu don't want to.
Critic:(as Elizabeth's father) Unless it was the beginning of the movie in which case I dicho tu had no choice.
Critic: (as a scene of Elizabeth and her father hugging plays) Seriously, what did she do different? She made the same argument she did before. In fact, it's actually less angry. Are tu honestly telling...
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Yes..
James Rolfe is the one who's más popular, and probably was on youtube FIRST. Doug Walker probably came second.

And yes..
They have más o less the SAME humour. They're both portrayed as Anti-Heroes.
NERD is portrayed as an foul mouthed, abusive, mentally insane, alcoholic.
And CRETIC is portrayed as equally short tempered, abusive, insane, and foul mouthed.

But somehow, I find Nostalgia Critic a bit funnier than Angry Video Game Nerd.

I guess it's Doug Walker's voice.
He has that high pitched voice, that make the angry rants that much funnier.

But I don't NOT like Nerd.
He's still funny.. Hell, he's hilarious.
Cretic is just a bit más hilarious..
As all TRUE metallica fans know.
ST ANGER is often the "worst" album.

But why?

I gave it a listen.
And I tell tu what.
There is NOTHING bad about an album opening up with FRANTIC.

Haters say, it's the lack of solos that makes this album so bad.
But the solos often got SO long, I don't consider this really a BAD thing. más for the actual SONGS.

And it's also the loud snare drums that's hated on.
But I fuckin amor the snare drums Lars Ulrich really shows off how talented he is. As the drums are extremely loud, but not in a bad way. The POINT of Metallica, is to be LOUD.

I'm not sure how much enjoyment I'll get out of them LIVE, xD
#1:
Pinkie would never hurt her friends, Pinkamena murders arco iris Dash with joy.

@@@@@@

#2:
Pinkie makes cupcakes normally, Pinkamena uses dead bodies.

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#3:
Pinkie is a bit slow witted, Pinkamena would often demonstrate unnaturally high intelligence in later crossovers.

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#4:
Pinkie is a cute and harmless little pony. Pinkamena is an mentally ill serial killer.

@@@@@@@

#5:
Pinkie cracks light hearted jokes, Pinkamena has a very twisted (Freddy Krueger like) humor.



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#1: DOCTOR HARLAN FONTAINE (La Noire):
Fontaine is one of the most cold and ruthless characters in the game, obsessed with power and manipulation. He constantly utilizes people to further his ends, as seen por his keeping Elsa Lichtmann addicted to drugs in order to investigate the breakdown of an addict and using Lou Buchwalter for the Fund, causing his death. He is also a master at manipulating people, demonstrated por how he convinced Courtney Sheldon to give him the stolen army surplus morphine in blatant abuse of his trust. Furthermore, he manipulated Ira Hogeboom to assist in the Fund's...
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#1: LEROY SNAPS:
Lorna's lack of grief, her relationship with Leroy, as well as Lester's life insurance raised Phelps' suspicions. Phelps and Bekowsky eventually discover that Lester was murdered por a filete knife, and was dead before the car hit him. If the player had already found the knife, when first investigating the crime scene. Cole will conclude this is the same one (witch is proven correct).
Phelps and Bekowsky will confront Lorna at her home. Revealing how cowardly she actually is, Lorna attempted to pin all the blame onto Leroy.
Unfortunately Leroy overheard and, armed with a handgun,...
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#1: TREVOR PHILLIPS (GTA 5):
Trevor shows to be extremely protective of those he cares for. He threatens ANYONE who disrespects them. And his anger of Brad's death show's he truly did care about the man.
But Trevor is ALSO impetuous, vengeful, psychotic, unhinged, unpredictable, untamed, infamous, sociopathic and prone to violent outbursts and destructive rampages - in the segundo trailer he smashed an unknown person's head into a bar counter and was then seen setting a house on fuego and walking out of the area without a care in sight. He does everything in an awful and relentless manner, (much...
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#1:
The Majr: Gentlemen… we… are Nazis!
Nazis: Sieg heil! Sieg heil!
The Major: And we… Will have war!
Nazis: Sieg heil! Sieg heil!
The Major: And we… AND WE… *sneeze*
Nazis: Gesundheit! Gesundheit!


#2:
Doctor: But Major, now that they know of our plans...
Major: Ah, Herr Doctor, but that is the plan~! Now that they know our plan, they will plan around our plan, and so we shall in turn plan around the plan that they are planning around our plan!!
Doctor: ...Your brilliance knows no bounds!
Major: And regardless... We have one advantage that they sorely lack... ZEPPELINS!


#3:
The Major: Ah, if...
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#1: eminem - KIM:
There's a certain part of eminem that most would call me the same as.
Marshal is famish for having a very dark humour, much like myself.
But in this one, he manages to take it a step to far, as he's barely even singing, really just screaming.
Eminem, thanks his many talents, makes us believe he might of actually done this (witch he doesn't, Kim is his X wife, an it was just "wishful thinking"). eminem is never the killer he is in his songs, it's just his humour. He's probably pretty nice, who really know..

link

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It started with my 3 año old son screaming in his room in the middle of the night. When I came in to check on him he was in hysterics. Tears ran down his little cheeks as he cried about how the Boogeyman had frightened him. I let him sleep with my wife and I for the night, thinking it was just a bad dream.

The siguiente evening he didn’t even want to be in his room, but I convinced him that the Boogey Man was just a figment of his imagination. I was awoken once más por his screams. I rushed to his room, to find him in tears again.

On the third night I set up a videocámara in his room, in order...
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#1:
MAN: Young man? tu trapped in the Seventies? Nobody says "young man".
What else tu gonna say? "Fresh"?
LAZLOW: Look--whatever, homeboy. Listen. Tell me what the kids are into. I gotta connect with the kids. Not my private parts, tu know, but--that's for online--but, what are tu out doing?
MAN: Yo, I'm delivering weed.
LAZLOW: But, you--you're only like thirteen.
MAN: Exactly. I won't go to prison.


#2:
GIRL: Yeah, um, oh, my God, am I on the radio!?
LAZLOW: Do tu not realize that? This is a microphone, stupid!


#3:
Alan McClean: Speaking gives an atmosphere of fear!.. Waterboarding gives an atmosphere...
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posted by Canada24
"HOLLY FUCK! IT's FUCKIN BURNING!.. The whole place!... I've got to go in! I've got to get something!" Roman cried, seeing Dimitri and Burgarini have literary burnt down Roman's apartment, and Roman tried running into it, but Niko held him back.

"Leave it, cousin! This place is gone" Niko replied.

"THEY FUCKIN BURNT IT NIKO!... Do tu know how long it took me to get a place of my own!? tu got off the barco and I was here for you... I had NOTHING!.. nobody!.. I worked my way up from the fucking dirt!"

They reach Roman's taxi business only to see it has ALSO been burnt down, further angering Roman....
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#1:
Why is canada a seguro country?
"Cause the mighty king ganso gives us comida to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape..


#2:
Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my tortuga against a wall"
"I don't think your masterbating in the RIGHT way"


#3:
halloween falls on a Friday the 13th this año for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
"You two huh?"


#4:
The devil has five letters and so does weed:
"Good for you, here's a lollipop"


#5:
Why are Americans stupid?
"Cause they are close to Canada"


#6:
Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
"Because ALL Canadians like hockey"


#7:
Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
"No, that's Japen"


#8:
Do they have trees in America?
"Coarse not"
How do I become sarcastic?
"You answer preguntas such as THIS one"


My house is on fire, what do I do?
"You get off the fuckin computer and go outside!"


Can tu get pregnant from watching porn?
"Only on wednesdays"


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
"Your not drinking ENOUGH of it!"


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
"GOOD!"


Why are bebés ugly at first?
"YOU try living inside a woman's vigina for so long!"


How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
"You take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start."


Is is normal to be in amor with your dog?
"... tu need help"...
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#1: TREVOR PHILLIPS:
Trevor has been described as a difficult person to deal with, extreme, impetuous, vengeful, psychotic, unhinged, unpredictable, untamed, infamous, sociopathic and prone to violent outbursts and destructive rampages.

Although Trevor is this kind of person, he has shown many times how needy he is for amor and care. He tells Michael repeatedly how much he mourned him, to the point that he got a memorial tattoo with Michael's name on it. As he was being confronted por Floyd and Debra, he told them how much he wanted to be with them. His relationship with Patricia was also a display...
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