Chapter 15: Who Takes the Blame (Jake's POV)
Three más days passed by. Renesmee slept a lot and was craving only mountain lion now. She couldn’t keep anything else down. It was increasingly hard to find mountain lion so Emmett, Sam, Jasper and Edward took turns going out together to hunt for her. She could take down three mountain lions in a sitting at least three times a day. They were concerned about drawing attention por hunting the mountain lion so close to Forks so they veered farther and farther away. No más bones were broken but if the baby moved even the slightest bit it was excruciating for Nessie. I literally had no appetite myself watching her go through such misery.
On the 20th día of her pregnancy things got very strange. She was eating when she suddenly stopped and fell back on her pillows cringing.
“Princess, what’s wrong?”
“My head is pounding.” She whispered.
Carlisle came over and checked her blood pressure and looked at her legs which were swollen. He frowned, “Renesmee I think that tu may have eclampsia. We are going to need to take the baby now.”
She shook her head, “No, what if she isn’t ready yet? I can wait.”
Carlisle measured her stomach. “You are measuring 45 weeks. According to that the baby is overdue. If we leave her in too much longer it will be detrimental for both of you.”
Renesmee turned to me her eyes wild with fear. Carlisle nodded at me. Remembering what he had told me I leaned over Nessie, hiding my fear to the best of my ability.
“It’s ok Nessie, your grandpa knows what he is doing. Everything will be fine. Before tu know it, this will all be over and tu will be a mommy.”
She looked at me nervously for another moment and then she smiled faintly as she kissed me.
Carlisle went downstairs to inform everyone as to what was happening and Bella and I got ready to help out in anyway that we could.
When he came back into the room he offered Renesmee the spinal block. She shook her head, “I don’t want to waste any time we have to get her out.”
Carlisle frowned at her, “Renesmee that is just being ridiculous.”
She started to get upset but I looked at her gently, “Nessie, just take the medicine ok, everything is fine.”
She finally gave in and I reluctantly stepped out of the room while he and Bella injected the medication into her spine.
Sam was in the hall, I walked over to where he was sitting and slumped down siguiente to him. He placed a hand on my shoulder not even flinching at the coolness of my skin. He was getting más and más comfortable around us.
“How are tu holding up?”
Finally able to let my guard down I shook my head miserably.
“I have a horrible feeling- he has to take the baby now there is a complication.”
Sam nodded solemnly, “I know. He told all of us. Try not to worry so much Jake. Emily had a serious complication and look at her she is fine and so are the babies. tu dicho it yourself, Carlisle is a wonderful Doctor. tu know he will fight like hell for his granddaughter and great grandchild’s lives.”
I knew he was probably right but for some reason I still had my reservations. I looked at him inquisitively, “Do tu ever wish that tu were just a plain human again?”
He shrugged, “I haven’t really dado that much thought Jake. I mean yea certain aspects of my life were easier back then but now my life feels complete, tu know?”
I thought it over, I suppose had I not been what I am I never would have been with Renesmee. All the pain in the world was tolerable if it meant that I could be with her- it was just the fact that she was the one dealing with the pain that killed me.
“If she dies…” I trailed off. Sam took me por the shoulders and shook me.
“Jacob stop it. tu have to think positively. It matters tu know.”
Just then the door opened and Bella stepped out into the hallway. “She’s ready, and she’s asking for tu Jake.”
I nodded and got up, Sam stood up too and hugged me.
“Remember think positively, we will all be waiting downstairs.”
I watched as he walked away slightly jealous of the fact that he knew his wife and sons were seguro downstairs while my wife’s fate was still unknown.
As I walked into the room Bella looked at me, our eyes contained the same mixture of grief and terror.
“It will be alright,” she whispered. I couldn’t tell if she was attempting to comfort me o herself with her comment.
Renesmee was laying on the gurney with her hair tucked into a surgical cap. Bella put some scrubs over my camisa, camiseta and I washed my hands. I looked at my wife and had to breathe evenly not because I needed the oxygen but because my throat felt as though it were closing. She looked awful all over again. Her face was pale and she seemed exhausted. She was grimacing.
“Wait, why is she in pain… the medicine is supposed to help her.”
“I’m fine,” she lied. Her stomach shifted it was creepy, it looked like Sarah was thrashing around. Renesmee bit her lip so hard that it bled a little and she screamed.
“Carlisle!” I yelled.
He looked at her, “The spinal didn’t take we have to give her another one.”
“NO!” She screamed, “Something is wrong with Sarah, get her out please! Remember she's the first priority here.”
I looked at her helplessly. I would have dado anything to trade places with her o to absorb the pain that was crippling her. She was gasping for air.
Carlisle looked conflicted as he looked at me. I will need your help, there is er… only one way to get through to the baby and the scalpel can only go so far.”
I gasped as I realized what he had meant. My memory flashed back to the día Renesmee had been born and to the horrific scene when Edward used his teeth to get to her. I shuddered but knew that it was necessary. I nodded at Carlisle.
He grabbed the scalpel and cut into her stomach. Blood poured out from where the metal dragged across her beautiful skin. She winced in reaction to the pain from the cut, but no longer screamed. Her eyes were half closed and her face was paler than Bella’s. If my corazón was still beating it would have been pounding. I did my part as quickly as I could so that I could get back to her. After I finished I went back to her side.
I grabbed her hand and she weakly clung to it.
“Get ready Bella,” he told her. She picked up a baby towel and held her hands out.
Carlisle’s voice broke as he lifted a tiny gleaming infant up to mostrar us all. “It’s a girl…” He suctioned her nose and mouth and then handed her off to Bella. Her chin quivered as she dried her granddaughter off for the first time and swaddled her, handing her to Renesmee.
Words cannot describe how I felt as I first laid eyes upon my daughter. The only thing that comes close is how I felt when I saw Renesmee for the first time. The world stopped. She was absolutely stunning. The best parts of Renesmee and I combined into one. Exactly how Nessie had explained her to me. She was very tiny, maybe 3 pounds but she was incredibly alert. Her chocolate brown eyes, exact replicas of her mothers and grandmothers stared widely absorbing her surroundings curiously. They were framed por long, dark eyelashes. Her tiny nose and full lips were all her mother. She had the same russet skin that I once did only hers was más luminous and had a slight gleam to it in the light. She had a thick head of matted dark brown curls.
Renesmee’s eyes filled with tears as she saw her for the first time, “Oh”… was all that she could utter.
She sniffled and then spoke again quietly as she held her, “My Sarah, my ángel tu are perfect… just like in my dreams…” She sobbed as she kissed her little nose, “Mommy has been waiting for you. I amor you.” She looked up at me and I smiled at her.
“She’s beautiful Ness, she looks just like her momma. I amor you.”
She smiled back at me. “I amor tu too.”
I kissed her gently and then she fell back onto her pillow, her eyes fluttering.
“Jake, take the baby.” She dicho feebly.
As I held Sarah she opened her mouth displaying her perfect white teeth and she bit me, briefly it reminded me of when Nessie was a baby but I pushed the thought out of my mind as I passed her to Bella and focused on my failing wife. She placed a shaking hand on my cheek, memories of her entire life played in my mind. The first time she saw me, her childhood, when we finally told each other how we felt, when we dated, when I saved her life, our engagement, the wedding and honeymoon, her pregnancy. Sarah. My stomach dropped as I realized what was happening. Her life was flashing before her eyes and she was sharing it with me. She was dying.
“What’s wrong Nessie, NESSIE no, don't tu give up!” Her eyes rolled back into her head and her eyes closed. The monitor started beeping wildly. I looked to Carlisle in shock.
“What happened?”
He shook his head, “I don’t know Jacob.” He started looking at all of the monitors.
“I thought that she was immortal.” Bella accused, “How could anything go wrong.”
Carlisle looked at his angered daughter, “Bella, dado the right circumstances even an immortal can die tu know that.”
She looked at her daughter, and clutched Sarah to her. “Oh god…”
I panicked, “Carlisle let me change her… what else can we do?”
He narrowed his eyes, “I am not sure it will even work.”
“WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! I cannot lose her I will not lose her!” I demanded.
He looked at Bella, and she nodded.
As I leaned over Renesmee’s neck her stomach moved again and the sound of bones crunching filled the room..
“Jacob WAIT!” Carlisle yelled in horror. “Bella, go get all of the free hands tu can and bring the two incubators in here from my office.” His voice quieted down, “There are más babies…”
Bella and I both snapped our heads up at once.
She took Sarah with her running out of the door. Carlisle immediately got to work. He told me where to grab más towels and I came back just in time to meet my oldest son. He looked exactly like me, well when I was alive. The same shaggy hair, serious brown eyes, dark skin.
Just then Bella reentered the room with Alice, Rosalie, Emily, Amore, Leah and Edward. Emily came up and took my son from me to clean him off.
“Baby B” Carlisle told her. She nodded. He started barking instructions. “Wash your hands and form a line, someone grab paper and make id bracelets. As I hand the baby to tu I will tell tu what letter and tu need to label the bracelets. Once the bebés are all out wheel the incubators to my office immediately”.
Carlisle got back to work. siguiente he extracted a girl, “Baby C” He stated as he handed her to Amore. Following were one más girl and two más boys. They were all practically identical, equal combinations of their mother and father. When he took the last boy out it was a bit of a struggle because he appeared to be latched onto Nessie somehow.
Carlisle looked for Edward who was leaning against a muro in shock. “Edward I need tu to go to the hospital pick up 4 más incubators and we need más blood just in case. Also grab some steel cups and diapers. We don’t have nearly enough.” He nodded and flew out of the room. As the last baby was removed and placed into one of the crowded incubators and then wheeled out of the room, I stared on in total shock. I felt like I was out of my body watching this whole spectacle. I couldn’t envolver, abrigo my head around the fact that I was the father of 6 babies. We were only supposed to have one, and Renesmee was supposed to be perfectly fine. RENESMEE. I focused back on her just as the corazón monitor flat lined.
“NO!” I screamed. I had been so distracted that I had missed my brief window of opportunity to save her.
“Renesmee!” Bella sobbed with a bloodcurdling screech.
Part of me knew that it was useless but I leaned over her neck about to bite her anyway. I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. Carlisle tried to pull me up.
His voice was wounded as he whispered, “It’s too late Jake. tu have to bite her while her corazón is still beating.”
“No…” I whispered quietly, “NO! Renesmee tu can’t leave me please we need you. tu swore to me that tu would make it…” I started CPR but it wasn’t working I was sobbing over her when I felt strong arms around me. It took Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Sam, Seth and Nahuel to drag me away from the sad remains of my beautiful bride. I screamed and fought them the whole time.
"Nessie please wake up... I amor you. My life means nothing without you."
Bella was in a pile on the floor sobbing. Edward walked into the door. As soon as he saw Bella on the floor and his daughter’s body, he shook his head. “No…” he said. “She can’t be dead…” He picked his wife up from the floor and led her out of the room with his eyes on Renesmee in a state of disbelief the entire time. As we got to the door way I saw Amore and I cornered her.
“Amore tu promised it would be alright.”
She looked devastated, “I swear Jake in my visions it was perfect she and Sarah were both fine.”
I snarled at her, “Obviously tu aren’t as gifted as tu thought Miss Know It All. Why didn’t tu see that there would be that many bebés o that she would die?” As I advanced on her Seth stepped in front of her protectively as a snarl involuntarily ripped from his throat. Emmett grabbed me from behind.
Seth's eyes flashed at me.“Jake, don’t so this, I don’t want to go up against tu but tu know I have no control I will have to defend her.” I shook my head trying to escape the clutches of this deep anger that I could not control.
I turned my wrath on Edward instead, “What about you? tu read Sarah's mind how could tu not have known that there was más than one.” Edward’s face paled even further, “Oh god… that’s what she meant. Sarah kept saying I have to protect them… she was talking about her brothers and sisters. I thought that she was talking about tu and Renesmee. She must have known that if she revealed that there was más bebés than just her there would have been a chance that the pregnancy would have been terminated.” He looked through me- with the soulless eyes of a man who was about to bury his only child.
“I am sorry,” he whispered through his tearless sobs, “by all means kill me if tu want too, I can’t live with myself.”
My eyes narrowed as I took a step closer to him.
Three más days passed by. Renesmee slept a lot and was craving only mountain lion now. She couldn’t keep anything else down. It was increasingly hard to find mountain lion so Emmett, Sam, Jasper and Edward took turns going out together to hunt for her. She could take down three mountain lions in a sitting at least three times a day. They were concerned about drawing attention por hunting the mountain lion so close to Forks so they veered farther and farther away. No más bones were broken but if the baby moved even the slightest bit it was excruciating for Nessie. I literally had no appetite myself watching her go through such misery.
On the 20th día of her pregnancy things got very strange. She was eating when she suddenly stopped and fell back on her pillows cringing.
“Princess, what’s wrong?”
“My head is pounding.” She whispered.
Carlisle came over and checked her blood pressure and looked at her legs which were swollen. He frowned, “Renesmee I think that tu may have eclampsia. We are going to need to take the baby now.”
She shook her head, “No, what if she isn’t ready yet? I can wait.”
Carlisle measured her stomach. “You are measuring 45 weeks. According to that the baby is overdue. If we leave her in too much longer it will be detrimental for both of you.”
Renesmee turned to me her eyes wild with fear. Carlisle nodded at me. Remembering what he had told me I leaned over Nessie, hiding my fear to the best of my ability.
“It’s ok Nessie, your grandpa knows what he is doing. Everything will be fine. Before tu know it, this will all be over and tu will be a mommy.”
She looked at me nervously for another moment and then she smiled faintly as she kissed me.
Carlisle went downstairs to inform everyone as to what was happening and Bella and I got ready to help out in anyway that we could.
When he came back into the room he offered Renesmee the spinal block. She shook her head, “I don’t want to waste any time we have to get her out.”
Carlisle frowned at her, “Renesmee that is just being ridiculous.”
She started to get upset but I looked at her gently, “Nessie, just take the medicine ok, everything is fine.”
She finally gave in and I reluctantly stepped out of the room while he and Bella injected the medication into her spine.
Sam was in the hall, I walked over to where he was sitting and slumped down siguiente to him. He placed a hand on my shoulder not even flinching at the coolness of my skin. He was getting más and más comfortable around us.
“How are tu holding up?”
Finally able to let my guard down I shook my head miserably.
“I have a horrible feeling- he has to take the baby now there is a complication.”
Sam nodded solemnly, “I know. He told all of us. Try not to worry so much Jake. Emily had a serious complication and look at her she is fine and so are the babies. tu dicho it yourself, Carlisle is a wonderful Doctor. tu know he will fight like hell for his granddaughter and great grandchild’s lives.”
I knew he was probably right but for some reason I still had my reservations. I looked at him inquisitively, “Do tu ever wish that tu were just a plain human again?”
He shrugged, “I haven’t really dado that much thought Jake. I mean yea certain aspects of my life were easier back then but now my life feels complete, tu know?”
I thought it over, I suppose had I not been what I am I never would have been with Renesmee. All the pain in the world was tolerable if it meant that I could be with her- it was just the fact that she was the one dealing with the pain that killed me.
“If she dies…” I trailed off. Sam took me por the shoulders and shook me.
“Jacob stop it. tu have to think positively. It matters tu know.”
Just then the door opened and Bella stepped out into the hallway. “She’s ready, and she’s asking for tu Jake.”
I nodded and got up, Sam stood up too and hugged me.
“Remember think positively, we will all be waiting downstairs.”
I watched as he walked away slightly jealous of the fact that he knew his wife and sons were seguro downstairs while my wife’s fate was still unknown.
As I walked into the room Bella looked at me, our eyes contained the same mixture of grief and terror.
“It will be alright,” she whispered. I couldn’t tell if she was attempting to comfort me o herself with her comment.
Renesmee was laying on the gurney with her hair tucked into a surgical cap. Bella put some scrubs over my camisa, camiseta and I washed my hands. I looked at my wife and had to breathe evenly not because I needed the oxygen but because my throat felt as though it were closing. She looked awful all over again. Her face was pale and she seemed exhausted. She was grimacing.
“Wait, why is she in pain… the medicine is supposed to help her.”
“I’m fine,” she lied. Her stomach shifted it was creepy, it looked like Sarah was thrashing around. Renesmee bit her lip so hard that it bled a little and she screamed.
“Carlisle!” I yelled.
He looked at her, “The spinal didn’t take we have to give her another one.”
“NO!” She screamed, “Something is wrong with Sarah, get her out please! Remember she's the first priority here.”
I looked at her helplessly. I would have dado anything to trade places with her o to absorb the pain that was crippling her. She was gasping for air.
Carlisle looked conflicted as he looked at me. I will need your help, there is er… only one way to get through to the baby and the scalpel can only go so far.”
I gasped as I realized what he had meant. My memory flashed back to the día Renesmee had been born and to the horrific scene when Edward used his teeth to get to her. I shuddered but knew that it was necessary. I nodded at Carlisle.
He grabbed the scalpel and cut into her stomach. Blood poured out from where the metal dragged across her beautiful skin. She winced in reaction to the pain from the cut, but no longer screamed. Her eyes were half closed and her face was paler than Bella’s. If my corazón was still beating it would have been pounding. I did my part as quickly as I could so that I could get back to her. After I finished I went back to her side.
I grabbed her hand and she weakly clung to it.
“Get ready Bella,” he told her. She picked up a baby towel and held her hands out.
Carlisle’s voice broke as he lifted a tiny gleaming infant up to mostrar us all. “It’s a girl…” He suctioned her nose and mouth and then handed her off to Bella. Her chin quivered as she dried her granddaughter off for the first time and swaddled her, handing her to Renesmee.
Words cannot describe how I felt as I first laid eyes upon my daughter. The only thing that comes close is how I felt when I saw Renesmee for the first time. The world stopped. She was absolutely stunning. The best parts of Renesmee and I combined into one. Exactly how Nessie had explained her to me. She was very tiny, maybe 3 pounds but she was incredibly alert. Her chocolate brown eyes, exact replicas of her mothers and grandmothers stared widely absorbing her surroundings curiously. They were framed por long, dark eyelashes. Her tiny nose and full lips were all her mother. She had the same russet skin that I once did only hers was más luminous and had a slight gleam to it in the light. She had a thick head of matted dark brown curls.
Renesmee’s eyes filled with tears as she saw her for the first time, “Oh”… was all that she could utter.
She sniffled and then spoke again quietly as she held her, “My Sarah, my ángel tu are perfect… just like in my dreams…” She sobbed as she kissed her little nose, “Mommy has been waiting for you. I amor you.” She looked up at me and I smiled at her.
“She’s beautiful Ness, she looks just like her momma. I amor you.”
She smiled back at me. “I amor tu too.”
I kissed her gently and then she fell back onto her pillow, her eyes fluttering.
“Jake, take the baby.” She dicho feebly.
As I held Sarah she opened her mouth displaying her perfect white teeth and she bit me, briefly it reminded me of when Nessie was a baby but I pushed the thought out of my mind as I passed her to Bella and focused on my failing wife. She placed a shaking hand on my cheek, memories of her entire life played in my mind. The first time she saw me, her childhood, when we finally told each other how we felt, when we dated, when I saved her life, our engagement, the wedding and honeymoon, her pregnancy. Sarah. My stomach dropped as I realized what was happening. Her life was flashing before her eyes and she was sharing it with me. She was dying.
“What’s wrong Nessie, NESSIE no, don't tu give up!” Her eyes rolled back into her head and her eyes closed. The monitor started beeping wildly. I looked to Carlisle in shock.
“What happened?”
He shook his head, “I don’t know Jacob.” He started looking at all of the monitors.
“I thought that she was immortal.” Bella accused, “How could anything go wrong.”
Carlisle looked at his angered daughter, “Bella, dado the right circumstances even an immortal can die tu know that.”
She looked at her daughter, and clutched Sarah to her. “Oh god…”
I panicked, “Carlisle let me change her… what else can we do?”
He narrowed his eyes, “I am not sure it will even work.”
“WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! I cannot lose her I will not lose her!” I demanded.
He looked at Bella, and she nodded.
As I leaned over Renesmee’s neck her stomach moved again and the sound of bones crunching filled the room..
“Jacob WAIT!” Carlisle yelled in horror. “Bella, go get all of the free hands tu can and bring the two incubators in here from my office.” His voice quieted down, “There are más babies…”
Bella and I both snapped our heads up at once.
She took Sarah with her running out of the door. Carlisle immediately got to work. He told me where to grab más towels and I came back just in time to meet my oldest son. He looked exactly like me, well when I was alive. The same shaggy hair, serious brown eyes, dark skin.
Just then Bella reentered the room with Alice, Rosalie, Emily, Amore, Leah and Edward. Emily came up and took my son from me to clean him off.
“Baby B” Carlisle told her. She nodded. He started barking instructions. “Wash your hands and form a line, someone grab paper and make id bracelets. As I hand the baby to tu I will tell tu what letter and tu need to label the bracelets. Once the bebés are all out wheel the incubators to my office immediately”.
Carlisle got back to work. siguiente he extracted a girl, “Baby C” He stated as he handed her to Amore. Following were one más girl and two más boys. They were all practically identical, equal combinations of their mother and father. When he took the last boy out it was a bit of a struggle because he appeared to be latched onto Nessie somehow.
Carlisle looked for Edward who was leaning against a muro in shock. “Edward I need tu to go to the hospital pick up 4 más incubators and we need más blood just in case. Also grab some steel cups and diapers. We don’t have nearly enough.” He nodded and flew out of the room. As the last baby was removed and placed into one of the crowded incubators and then wheeled out of the room, I stared on in total shock. I felt like I was out of my body watching this whole spectacle. I couldn’t envolver, abrigo my head around the fact that I was the father of 6 babies. We were only supposed to have one, and Renesmee was supposed to be perfectly fine. RENESMEE. I focused back on her just as the corazón monitor flat lined.
“NO!” I screamed. I had been so distracted that I had missed my brief window of opportunity to save her.
“Renesmee!” Bella sobbed with a bloodcurdling screech.
Part of me knew that it was useless but I leaned over her neck about to bite her anyway. I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. Carlisle tried to pull me up.
His voice was wounded as he whispered, “It’s too late Jake. tu have to bite her while her corazón is still beating.”
“No…” I whispered quietly, “NO! Renesmee tu can’t leave me please we need you. tu swore to me that tu would make it…” I started CPR but it wasn’t working I was sobbing over her when I felt strong arms around me. It took Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Sam, Seth and Nahuel to drag me away from the sad remains of my beautiful bride. I screamed and fought them the whole time.
"Nessie please wake up... I amor you. My life means nothing without you."
Bella was in a pile on the floor sobbing. Edward walked into the door. As soon as he saw Bella on the floor and his daughter’s body, he shook his head. “No…” he said. “She can’t be dead…” He picked his wife up from the floor and led her out of the room with his eyes on Renesmee in a state of disbelief the entire time. As we got to the door way I saw Amore and I cornered her.
“Amore tu promised it would be alright.”
She looked devastated, “I swear Jake in my visions it was perfect she and Sarah were both fine.”
I snarled at her, “Obviously tu aren’t as gifted as tu thought Miss Know It All. Why didn’t tu see that there would be that many bebés o that she would die?” As I advanced on her Seth stepped in front of her protectively as a snarl involuntarily ripped from his throat. Emmett grabbed me from behind.
Seth's eyes flashed at me.“Jake, don’t so this, I don’t want to go up against tu but tu know I have no control I will have to defend her.” I shook my head trying to escape the clutches of this deep anger that I could not control.
I turned my wrath on Edward instead, “What about you? tu read Sarah's mind how could tu not have known that there was más than one.” Edward’s face paled even further, “Oh god… that’s what she meant. Sarah kept saying I have to protect them… she was talking about her brothers and sisters. I thought that she was talking about tu and Renesmee. She must have known that if she revealed that there was más bebés than just her there would have been a chance that the pregnancy would have been terminated.” He looked through me- with the soulless eyes of a man who was about to bury his only child.
“I am sorry,” he whispered through his tearless sobs, “by all means kill me if tu want too, I can’t live with myself.”
My eyes narrowed as I took a step closer to him.
