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el fantasma de la ópera Pregunta

shoul I continue my phanom after the opera fanfic? and what couyld I improve? plz tell me!

tu can read pato in articles.
 nanastarr posted hace más de un año
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el fantasma de la ópera Respuestas

Phantomess said:
Well, to be honest I haven't been lectura it, but I'm just now giving a look through chapter 3.
Remember to capatalize your words at the beginning of a sentence. tu need to be careful to make sure that all of your sentences make sense. Example, "It was finally a prove of what her uncle always told her".
As a creative note, tu may want to think about coming up with your own last name, o using a different fuente material. Destler has been done to death, and as no last name was ever dado in the original novel, tu might want to feel free to let yourself add a touch of your own imagination into the story in this way. This is entirely my opinion, but it would help to make your work stand out a bit, I think.
What books? If tu mean Gaston's notes and the personal letters he obtained, tu should say so. Also, (and this may have been explained in an earlier chapter, please forgive me if it was) how OLD is Erik meant to be in this? Leroux died in 1927, a good 17 years after he wrote Phantom. He also mentions that the action of the novel itself goes back up to 20 years from that point, and it's hinted that Erik was at least middle aged during that time as well. So if tu assume 40+20+17=77. That's a VERY old Opera Ghost. tu might want to rethink your numbers.
Consider changing the first sentence in the fourth paragraph. It reads oddly. Your spelling also needs work. What is a "put"?
Take your time and write out complete thoughts. Your narrative seems to become a bit difficult to follow toward the end of the chapter. tu might also want to watch out for your character sounding too much like a Mary Sue. Jack of all trades+OMG so dramatic childhood!+I swear to GOD if Erik wakes up and declares her to randomly be a better singer than Christine I will tortazo you= MARY SUE!

Apologies if this is rather brutal, but at least Phanwank didn't get ahold of it first.
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posted hace más de un año 
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thnx for answering, yeah, I'm sry about all that, but typing is terrible and I'm from holland the sentences really don't make any sence. haha, i realised the age/time difference after i wrote like, half of the book! just remember, this idea of the story started in a dream, so I didnt expect it to make any sence. i guess i forgotten that a bit......(oops)
nanastarr posted hace más de un año
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what also doesn't make sence is that gaston leroux talks to the persian way after the beginning of my first chapter, oh well, is all I can say. I can imagine though that it might be quite anoyying for a phan. I cannot remember saying that erik thinks natalie's a better singer than christine, I didn't want that to happen, again, apologies if it did. okay, I know you're gonna kill me now but who's Mary Sue again????
nanastarr posted hace más de un año
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tu hadn't dicho it yet, but I just had horrible visions of it going there, as a lot of stories tend to. Considering that English isn't your first language, I'm quite impressed, but I would suggest sending it through a beta to have the grammer/spelling fixed before putting it to publish/post. It will just help make it look más polished. As I said, I wandered in at chapter 3 so I may have missed a few things in the first two chapters. The idea of a relative of Leroux listening to his tales and becomming interested in the Opera Ghost really isn't bad, but tu just need to make sure that your historical dates mesh with what you're trying to do.
Phantomess posted hace más de un año
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thank you. I already showd every chapter to my mum and she dicho the gramma wasn't that bad(aargh imgonna kil her now!) but anyway tu still didn't tell e who may sue is.P.S. I know this sounds cheesy and stuff, But ma great fan of tu tu know, i mean, tu must be like the bigest phan in history! haha it's also so great that tu know all the facts about poto, so again. thnx 4 answering.
nanastarr posted hace más de un año
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