Season 1, Episode 1 (Pilot) Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
Yes, it tells us that tu participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
You did not "break up" with Joyce Kim. She defected to North Korea.
Season 1, Episode 2 (The Big Bran Hypothesis) Ah gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.
Explain to me an organizational system where a tray of flatware on a sofá is valid. I'm just inferring that this is a couch, because the evidence suggests the coffee mesa, tabla is having a tiny garaje sale.
I am truly sorry for what happened last night. I take full responsibility and I hope it won’t color your opinion of Leonard, who is not only a wonderful guy but also, I hear, a gentle and thorough lover.
Season 1, Episode 3 (The Fuzzy Boots Corollary) At least now tu can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasía of dating her and analyze the data so that tu don't crash into geek mountain again.
I think that tu have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble Telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.
There's always the possibility that alcohol and poor judgment on her part might lead to a nice romantic evening.
Season 1, Episode 4 (The Luminous pescado Effect) There wouldn't have been any culo kickings if that stupid death rayo, ray had worked.
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self worth?
Season 1, Episode 5 (The Hamburger Postulate) Do tu realize I may have to share a Nobel Prize with your booty call?
Of course I'm listening. Blah blah, hopeless Penny delusion, blah blah blah.
Season 1, Episode 7 (The bola de masa hervida Paradox) I'll watch the last 24 minutos of Doctor Who, although at this point it's más like Doctor Why Bother.
No, I’m going to ask him to choose between sex and Halo 3. As far as I know, sex has not been upgraded to include high-def graphics and enhanced weapon systems.
Season 1, Episode 8 (The saltamontes Experiment) Damn you, Walletnook.com.
I understand, but it was between tu and the Museum of Natural History, and frankly, tu don't have dinosaurs.
Season 1, Episode 9 (The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization) Forget your suit. Look at my arms flailing. I'm like a flamenco, flamingo on Ritalin.
Well, there's always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter, but Occam's Razor would suggest that someone threw it out.
Season 1, Episode 10 (The Loobenfeld Decay) I don’t guess. As a scientist I reach conclusions based on observation and experimentation. Although, as I’m saying this, it occurs to me that tu may have been employing a rhetorical device, rendering my response moot.
Artificial intelligences do not have teen fetishes.
Season 1, Episode 11 (The Pancake Batter Anomaly) We have no idea what pathogen Typhoid Penny’s introduced into our environment. And having never been to Nebraska I’m relatively certain that I have no maíz Husking antibodies.
Obviously you're not well-suited for three-dimensional chess. Perhaps three-dimensional Candyland would be your speed.
Season 1, Episode 12 (The Jerusalem Duality) While Mr. Kim, por virtue of youth and naiveté, has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure tu that my research will go on uninterrupted, and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me.
Engineering: where the noble semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello, Ooompa-Loompas of science.
Season 1, Episode 13 (The Bat Jar Conjecture) Yes, well, I’m polymerized árbol sap and you’re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile tu launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you.
Would tu ask Picasso to play Pictionary? Would tu ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? Would tu ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?
At this point I should inform tu that I intend to form my own team and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together and reduce the resulting particular chaos to tears.
One más thing. It’s on, bitch.
Season 1, Episode 14 (The Nerdvana Annihilation) Dibs does not apply in a bidding war.
In a Venn diagram, that would be an individual located at the intersection of the sets “no longer want my Time Machine” and “need 800 dollars”.
It only moves in time. It would be worse than useless in a swamp.
I disagree. Your inability to successfully woo Penny long predates your acquisition of the time machine. That failure clearly stands on its own.
Season 1, Episode 15 (The Shiksa Indeterminacy) They were not “friends”. They were imaginary colleagues.
Season 1, Episode 16 (The maní, cacahuete Reaction) What twelve año old boy wants a motorized dirt bike?
What computer do tu have? And please don't say "a white one."
Season 1, Episode 17 (The Tangerine Factor) Actually, I thought the first two renditions were far más compelling. Previously, I felt sympathy for the Leonard character. Now I just find him to be whiny and annoying.
Oxen are in my bed! Many, many oxen!
Yes, it tells us that tu participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
You did not "break up" with Joyce Kim. She defected to North Korea.
Season 1, Episode 2 (The Big Bran Hypothesis) Ah gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.
Explain to me an organizational system where a tray of flatware on a sofá is valid. I'm just inferring that this is a couch, because the evidence suggests the coffee mesa, tabla is having a tiny garaje sale.
I am truly sorry for what happened last night. I take full responsibility and I hope it won’t color your opinion of Leonard, who is not only a wonderful guy but also, I hear, a gentle and thorough lover.
Season 1, Episode 3 (The Fuzzy Boots Corollary) At least now tu can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasía of dating her and analyze the data so that tu don't crash into geek mountain again.
I think that tu have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble Telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.
There's always the possibility that alcohol and poor judgment on her part might lead to a nice romantic evening.
Season 1, Episode 4 (The Luminous pescado Effect) There wouldn't have been any culo kickings if that stupid death rayo, ray had worked.
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self worth?
Season 1, Episode 5 (The Hamburger Postulate) Do tu realize I may have to share a Nobel Prize with your booty call?
Of course I'm listening. Blah blah, hopeless Penny delusion, blah blah blah.
Season 1, Episode 7 (The bola de masa hervida Paradox) I'll watch the last 24 minutos of Doctor Who, although at this point it's más like Doctor Why Bother.
No, I’m going to ask him to choose between sex and Halo 3. As far as I know, sex has not been upgraded to include high-def graphics and enhanced weapon systems.
Season 1, Episode 8 (The saltamontes Experiment) Damn you, Walletnook.com.
I understand, but it was between tu and the Museum of Natural History, and frankly, tu don't have dinosaurs.
Season 1, Episode 9 (The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization) Forget your suit. Look at my arms flailing. I'm like a flamenco, flamingo on Ritalin.
Well, there's always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter, but Occam's Razor would suggest that someone threw it out.
Season 1, Episode 10 (The Loobenfeld Decay) I don’t guess. As a scientist I reach conclusions based on observation and experimentation. Although, as I’m saying this, it occurs to me that tu may have been employing a rhetorical device, rendering my response moot.
Artificial intelligences do not have teen fetishes.
Season 1, Episode 11 (The Pancake Batter Anomaly) We have no idea what pathogen Typhoid Penny’s introduced into our environment. And having never been to Nebraska I’m relatively certain that I have no maíz Husking antibodies.
Obviously you're not well-suited for three-dimensional chess. Perhaps three-dimensional Candyland would be your speed.
Season 1, Episode 12 (The Jerusalem Duality) While Mr. Kim, por virtue of youth and naiveté, has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure tu that my research will go on uninterrupted, and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me.
Engineering: where the noble semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello, Ooompa-Loompas of science.
Season 1, Episode 13 (The Bat Jar Conjecture) Yes, well, I’m polymerized árbol sap and you’re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile tu launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you.
Would tu ask Picasso to play Pictionary? Would tu ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? Would tu ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?
At this point I should inform tu that I intend to form my own team and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together and reduce the resulting particular chaos to tears.
One más thing. It’s on, bitch.
Season 1, Episode 14 (The Nerdvana Annihilation) Dibs does not apply in a bidding war.
In a Venn diagram, that would be an individual located at the intersection of the sets “no longer want my Time Machine” and “need 800 dollars”.
It only moves in time. It would be worse than useless in a swamp.
I disagree. Your inability to successfully woo Penny long predates your acquisition of the time machine. That failure clearly stands on its own.
Season 1, Episode 15 (The Shiksa Indeterminacy) They were not “friends”. They were imaginary colleagues.
Season 1, Episode 16 (The maní, cacahuete Reaction) What twelve año old boy wants a motorized dirt bike?
What computer do tu have? And please don't say "a white one."
Season 1, Episode 17 (The Tangerine Factor) Actually, I thought the first two renditions were far más compelling. Previously, I felt sympathy for the Leonard character. Now I just find him to be whiny and annoying.
Oxen are in my bed! Many, many oxen!