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posted by Bdavisbrookeme
The following lista of phrases and their definitions might help tu understand the fuzzy language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone lectura a PhD dissertation o academic paper.

"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...
I didn't look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...
These data are practically meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS
TO THE QUESTIONS"...
An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"...
The other results didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL...
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posted by Bdavisbrookeme
Your mom's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Your mom's so fat, when she dances the band skips.

Your mom's so fat, I have to take a bus a train and a cab just to get on her good side.

Your mother's so fat, her clothes have stretch marks.

Your mother's so fat, she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.

Your mother's so fat, tu could slap her butt and ride the waves.

Your mother's so fat, she needs a hula hoop to keep her socks up.

Your mother's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Your mother's so fat, when they used her...
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posted by Bdavisbrookeme
Some great ways to annoy people at work...

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

3. Insist that your e-mail address be xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com o elvis-the-king@companyname.com.

4. Every time someone asks tu to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5. Encourage your colleagues to registrarse tu in a little synchronized chair dancing.

6. Put your garbage can on your escritorio and label it 'IN.'

7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

8. Put decaf in the coffee...
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posted by Bdavisbrookeme
20 ways to say that someone's "fly is open"....

20. The cucumber has left the salad.

19. I can see the gun of Navarone.

18. Someone tore down the wall, and your rosado, rosa Floyd is hanging out.

17. You've got Windows in your laptop.

16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little apuntalar, costa leave.

15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.

14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.

13. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...

12. tu need to bring your tray mesa, tabla to the upright and locked position.

11. Your pod bahía door is open, Hal.

10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!

9. Mini Me is...
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posted by Bdavisbrookeme
It seems that life goes por resembling somewhat of a campana curve of what is considered successful...

At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants.

At age 10...success is...making your own meals.

At age 12...success is...having friends.

At age 16...success is...having a drivers license.

At age 20...success is...having sex.

At age 35...success is...having money.

At age 50...success is...having money.

At age 60...success is...having sex.

At age 70...success is...having a drivers license.

At age 75...success is...having friends.

At age 80...success is...making your own meals.

At age 85...success is...not peeing in your pants.
posted by Bdavisbrookeme
Some self-evident truths about pets...

Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.

Although gatos are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

Dogs and gatos instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutos sooner.

Dog's have owners. Cat's have staff.

Dogs shed, gatos shred.

I wonder if other perros think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation...
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posted by Bdavisbrookeme
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"

Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.

Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.

Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot por loosening a few buttons.

Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations.

Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better.

Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.

Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that tu are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.

Good girls amor Italian food...
Bad girls amor Italian waiters.
posted by Bdavisbrookeme
The following are the parte superior, arriba four winners from a "Most Embarrassing Moments" contest:

1. "While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other adults. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now,'
she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and dicho in a voice just as threatening, 'If tu don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw tu besar Daddy's pee-pee last night!' The silence was deafening after this...
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Because we all amor pizza so what`s más fun than being annoying while ordering it?


29 Annoying Ways to Order a Pizza

1. Start the conversation with "My call to (Pizza Place), take one... and... ACTION!"

2. If using a touch-tone phone, press misceláneo numbers while ordering. Tell the person taking the order, "would tu please stop doing that...?"

3. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

4. Do not name your toppings; rather, spell them out.

5. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

6. Order 52 pepperoni slices arranged in a fractal pattern following from an equation tu are...
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posted by Bdavisbrookeme
Does any of this sound somewhat familiar?

1 estrella hangover *


No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving tu a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that tu are able to function relatively well. However, tu are still parched. tu can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a hamburguesa con queso and a side of fries.



2 estrella hangover **

Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely amiss. tu may look okay but tu have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee tu chug to...
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1. tu WON! How do tu feel?
I did! =D
I feel amazing and SO happy that people think I deserve this for some reason. =’] <3

Honestly, it’s all your fault guys. I would never have anyone to talk to/make picks about if it wasn’t for all the Pinjas en general, general awesomeness.

2. What would tu say the secret to your Pinja success is?
Oh well. Since tu asked so nicely, I will tell everybody the key to my success. xD
The truth is that I hire stalkers and make them perra about us when I’m around. Then I’m always present when the drama happens. =P
.....
Nahh, there’s really no secret....
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Stay on your grind (oh I know I know I tu know)
Stay on your grind (my people)
Stay on your grind (everybody)
Stay on your grind (and can tu feel me yeah)

[Verse 1]
Hustlas
Dont give a fuckstas
And we smoke like broke down mufflas
Paint pictures
Write scriptures
At the beach
30 deep riding ninjas
Smoke a owl I cant go without it
Me and my crew we always joke about it
In the back of the tour bus
With a gorgeous
Little ho just fucking all four of us
The game Lord its the drugs and fast hoes
Hotels with the beds with brass poles
Sip gallons
Cant keep my balance
I'ma have to shine like the boy Ritchie Valens
Iced...
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posted by isabelle_905
From an email.

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until tu hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A día without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live por the sword get shot por those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime tu have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is dicho that if tu line up...
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OMG. What could be better than interviewing Obama? That’s right, people. Interviewing Tool. She’s much más interesting after all..like DUH! HAHAHA Congrats baby. It was about freaking time tu won. Anyway..I’ll cut the crap and start with the questions.
PS: If this interview doesn’t get at LEAST 10 comments, tu all will be burned.

1How do tu feel that tu finally won?
How I feel? I feel MegaSuperFantasticAwesomeAndsofuckingCOOL!

2.Do tu think the Pinjas will ever be like they were? Like..not dead?

Well, lately it has been dead, BUT thats because people are so busy, which is totally...
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posted by Bdavisbrookeme
In Twilight, this guy I know
The palest skin tu ever saw
All the girls still want him, though
And now tu know
I wanna be like Edward Cullen
I wanna be like Edward Cullen
Wish I could be like Edward Cullen

Wish I could be Cul-len
Wish I could get all the girls, yo
Didn't have to breathe
Didn't have to eat comida
And of course I want to read everybody's thoughts
I wanna sparkle in the light and drive a Volvo
And honestly I wanna play the paino
Although it would suck to never turn 18
Cause I know pedophiles will try to rape me
I wanna say that Dracula is my homie
Be a vegetarian even though I...
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posted by Bdavisbrookeme
 AH!
AH!
Sometimes a más discreet euphemism for "being on your period" is preferable, such as...

Miss Scarlett's Come inicial to Tara

Trolling for Vampires

A Dishonorable Discharge from the Uterine Navy

Saddling Old Rusty

Feelin' Menstru-riffic!

Clean-Up in Aisle One

Massacre at the Y

T-Minus 9 Months and Holding

Game día for the Crimson Tide

Panty Shields Up, Captain!

Taking Carrie to the Prom

Playing Banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band

Ordering l'Omelette Rouge

Arts and Crafts Week at Panty Camp

Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System

Aunt Flow is visiting
posted by ritergrl
Having known him a mere two months, ever since I met Nate, my life has felt happier. Having attracted countless stalkers in a short period of time, Nate holds the prestigious prize of "Best Newbie ever," aswell as being so fudging pervy that withint 20 minutos of knowing him, I made a bet that he couldn't be a perv for an entire day.

I lost.

Immediately link por the ussually bitchy OTH community, Nate lurked around the OTH chat, eventually starting a revolution. The Pinja spot. The rest is history.

Why so many people get on with him, I'll never know. Maybe because he's one of the few who don't...
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So guys, both Janni and me suck, so this is kinda late! Lalalalala! tu amor us <3



1. CONGRATS! Pinja FOTM, how do tu feel?
Ehm.. Happy and honoured.. But to be honest i no longer feel like i deserve it seeing that i have hardly been on in weeks!


2. Why do tu think tu won?
Cause i am awesome o cause everyone shared a joint just before voting on this pick! xP
I don't know, maybe cause i was on a lot in that perid o something


3. The pinjas hasnt been very active lately, what do tu think we should do?
To be honest i don't know! I know from experience that games wont help, cause we all think...
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YAY, another mes another fan of the mes interview! This time with Terra. ;D Hope tu guys like it. =] And congrats T, tu deserve this! <3

-------
1 – Here are the Pinjas, a couples months, cheaters and stalkers later. Did tu ever think a misceláneo talk in a chat would turn out like this?
No i didn't i had no clue that we would form the pinjas in the oth chat o that would put our oth coupling differences aside and become great friends with each other.

2 – What is your first good memory of the Pinjas? And your favorito! moment in this spot?
My favorito! one has to be any of the pranks we...
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First of all congrats to Sarah Beara for winning due to her epic nature! Now let's get started!

If tu were a tree, what kind would tu be?
Ermm, LOLWTF. I'd say Sunburst Golden Honey Locust, cause seriously, saying that is shitloads of fun. But in honesty, a link as it's one of the "classier" trees xD. And tu all know I'm the epitome of class.

How would tu react if tu are transformed into a duck?
I'd be like! ZOMGQUACK! Then I'd swim for a while & seek refuge on a pirate ship where I would be smart & funny for them if they could turn me back / not eat me. If there are no...
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