EPISODE 1:
Saten: So, in conclusion, I believe the painful sensation felt after passing a meal of spicy chillies is proof that the rectum does possess the sense of taste.
Trixie: ... I concur, but tu changed the subject. What are we doing for hearts and hoove's Day?
Saten: ... Oh, tu caught that, did you?
Trixie: Come on Saten, tu know I can only be here for so long., It was part of the deal... And I don't remember the last time tu even did anything romantic?
Saten: Sure I do.. I got tu that flower.
Trixie: It was Poison Joke.
Saten: How was I suppose to know that!?
Trixie: It had a sign saying it was Poison Joke.
Saten: ... Well, I... I went to your show.
Trixie: Yes, and tu beaten up my manager just for telling me I did a good job.
Saten: God! There's just no pleasing you!
Trixie: Saten.. tu know I amor you.. But I'm just saying., try being a bit más of a gentlemen.
Saten: Fine. I'll try..
Waiter: Here's the bill.
Saten: Alright.. (starts leaving) Thanks for paying Trixie.
Trixie: (sighs).
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Derpy: I really messed up on those invitations! I feel just awful!
Master Sword: Why'd tu bring me to Cake N' tocino, bacon for our third date, I HATE this place!
Derpy: I told Cranky I could get 'em printed for cheap, but that meant hiring somebody with no experience using a printing press... Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this.
Sword: To prove my hatred of this place, I'm gonna leave a lousy tip...under fifteen percent!... And then I'll send my meal back, even though it's EXACTLY what I ordered!
Derpy: Is it possible were having two different conversations?
Sword: How should I know, I'm not listening to you!
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Saten: Derpy I need to your opinion about something?
Derpy: I was gonna tell tu the same thing.
If I don't do something about this wrong día mishap, I'm not sure if Cranky Danky will ever forgive me.
Saten: (not listening) Trixie wants me to try being a better boyfriend. I'm not sure what to do.
Derpy: (also not listening) Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this.
Saten: Maybe I should ask AppleJack for advice. She always tried making me a better boyfriend, but I wasn't listening at the time.. Classic me.
Derpy: I offered Danky a refund but it didn't help too much.
Saten: Perhaps I should bring an notepad. lista the things AppleJack will say..
Derpy: tu know what? I'll probably end up making a lista of ways to fix this.
Saten: I'm glad we talked.
Derpy: I'm always here for tu cousin.
Saten: Me too.
(they both get up and leave in different directions).
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Dr. Hooves: Going back in time is old thinking, my friend. I was working off a cutting-edge theory of making time come adelante, hacia adelante to you... My life's work, decades – centuries, really – of research and experimentation, and I nearly had it cracked! Turns out there's a magic spell for it. Who knew?
Master Sword: Yeah, yeah, yeah... So will tu help Derpy o not?., I wasn't that helpful earlier, and now I feel bad.
Dr. Hooves: What's in it for me?
Master Sword: How about the glory of me not breaking your arm for your earlier statement.
Dr. Hooves: All I dicho was she looks a bit slu-
Master Sword: (holds Hoove's arm painfully).
Dr. Hooves: OKAY! OKAY!
Master Sword: (releases).
Dr. Hooves: Shit! That's like some red army shit!
Master Sword: Not really, my dad used it on my segundo sister.
Dr. Hooves: What segundo sister?
Master Sword: Exactly.
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LATER:
Saten: Hello AppleJack.
AppleJack: (with the other girls as they discuss a plan) Ah can't talk wait now Saten.
Saten: But would tu help me be a better boyfriend for Trixie.
AppleJack: Surely tu must have 'other' X girlfriends. Yer kinda handsome.
Saten: Well.. There was that 'one' girl I tried asking out... But things didn't go well.
FLASHBACK:
Glaze: (in the middle of canto the arco iris factory música video).
Saten: (comes onto the set, forth muro styled) Excuse me, parden me.
Director: CUUT!... Who the fuck is this!?
Glaze: (facehoof) Saten.. I told tu not to bother me at work.
Saten: But tu have my weed?
Glaze: I told tu to wait till after the show. (gives him bag).
Saten: But I wanted to see your cute face again!
Masked pony: Give it a break dude!
Saten: Shut up Jim!... Your not even a good actor!
Jim: Least I got hired!
Director: Just get out of here Redboy!
Saten: Fine.. One second.. (to Glaze) Wanna go out?
Glaze: ... What?
Saten: Please go out with me.. I know tu don't like me más than as a friend, and that tu never did. But the gala's coming, I wanna make AJ jealous ... I promise I'll pay and everything.
Glaze: Well.. Uhh... That sounds cool, but I'm gonna in the hospital that day.. (shoots herself in the chest with a nail-gun, and falls to the ground, bleeding out).
Glaze: AAHHHHH!!! (crawls away in pain, a trail of blood being left por her).
Saten: ... Okay. Maybe siguiente time then.
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Saten: Well, I should get goin-
Twi: Saten, wait.. tu know how we put tu as part of our group now?
Saten: What about it?
Pinkie: We need tu your help., Something's coming.
Saten: (groans) What is it THIS time?
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Octavia: Why are Saten and the girls huddled up like that? Do we know what they're on about?
manzana, apple Bloom: The way they're huddled up like that, I'd say it's either a friendship problem o a monster attack.
Octavia: (naively believing her) A monster attack?! Blast! I'm performing at the ceremony this afternoon, and I still haven't sorted out what to play. How am I meant to practice with a monster invading Ponyville?
Sweetie Belle: Maybe it's just a friendship problem, and it'll all be cleared up in half an hora o so.
Octavia: [groan] I hope so.
Scootaloo: I really don't Saten would count as one of their friendship problems.
AppleBloom: He might. I mean, he's good guy underneath all his rage stuff. Ah hang with him all the time.
Matilda: Where's Pinkie Pie?! I need my wedding planner!
Conveniently this it dose reveal their is a monster attacking ponyville. And the main six (well 7) fraught against it.
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Derpy: (ignoring the fight in the background) What am I gonna do? [gasp] Matilda! I feel so bad about the invitations! Is there anything I can do—
Matilda: FLOWERS!
Derpy: Flowers! got it! (flies off to get flowers)
Lily: tu want Matilda's arrangements... today?! [thud]
Daisy: This is awful!
Rose: The horror, the horror!
Derpy: So there's no way tu can do it?
Lily: We don't even have Matilda's flores in yet, much less arranged! [gasps] This is a disaster!
Derpy: ... Okay. Thanks anyway.
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Master Sword: There tu are! My suit has vanished and this was the only thing left in my closet! How do I look?
Derpy: Like a million bits!
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Mayor Mare: But I also see so many ponies from all trots of life, brought together por love. Cranky searched all across this great land of ours to find Matilda, and no matter what obstacles kept them apart, amor would finally bring them together, just as it has brought all of us together now. It's remarkable to me how a story like Cranky's buscar for Matilda could fill this room with such a unique collection of ponies! It makes tu realize that everybody is the estrella of their own story. And it's not just the main characters in our stories that make life so rich! It's everybody – those who play big parts and those who play small. If it weren't for everybody in this room and many más who couldn't be here today, Cranky and Matilda's lives wouldn't be as full and vibrant as they are.
Cracky: Well, that was a rather "convenient" speech,. But thank you
Carret Top: (crying) I had NO lines!
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Twilight: tu know something, girls? We are so lucky to live in this town. I amor tu all! *they all hug*.
AJ: Say? What happened to Saten?
Twilight: He dicho he had other important business to attend.
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Saten: *drinking at a bar, his head bandaged a little from the earlier attack*.
Bartender: Don't tu think tu had enough?
Saten: *a bit drunk*I don't tell tu how to live YOUR life!
Trixie: *comes over and finds him*
Bartender: *sees her* Oh wow. She's she's a hottie.. I'm gonna stalk her later.
Saten: ... Are tu a woman?
Bartender: No.
Saten: Good *punches out the bartender*
Trixie: *comes over* tu okay Saten? I heard about the bugbear?
Saten: Yeah.. I'm fine.
Trixie: ... Any luck with the romance thing? *giggles*
Saten: ... Afraid not.
Trixie: I thought as much.. I feel bad that I gave tu a hard time earlier, so I decided to get us a fansy cena, comedor reservation.
Saten: ... But that's más of Rarity's thing.
Trixie: Just give it a try.. I'll meet tu there *kisses his cheek and leaves, ignoring the drunk costumers hitting on her*
Saten: Hey! Could tu please stop hitting on her.. I swear, I will turn a hose on all of you!
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EPISODE 2:
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Spike: [sighs] tu know the worst thing about tu being the Princess of Friendship? The dishes.
Twilight: Thanks for taking care of that, Spike. After three events in one week, I really needed to relax with a good book.
Spike: It's kinda funny, isn't it? All these ponies comin' to tu for consejos about friendship?
Twilight: What's funny about that?
Spike: tu know, 'cause tu used to be famous for being such a bad friend.
Twilight: What are tu talking about? I had good friends in Canterlot.
Spike: Come on, Twilight. Look at the wall. D'ya see any fotos from before we moved to Ponyville? And look at tu now – the Princess of Friendship.
Twilight: [gasps] This is a disaster! All my old friends! I can't remember any of their names right now! But do tu really think that they think I'm a bad friend?!
Spike: Well, I only meant that you've come so far. You're a great friend now and—
Twilight: Oh, I feel terrible! I've gotta make it up to them! Pack a bag, Spike! We're going to Canterlot! And make a lista of my friend's names.
Spike: Aw. Me and my big mouth.
Spike: Come on, Twilight. You're getting worked up about nothin'.
Twilight: The only logical place to start is at the beginning.
[doors open]
Twilight: Oh. It's exactly how we left it! [blows] Look! It's Predictions and Prophecies! And it's still open to the Elements of Harmony!
Spike: And here's that present I was gonna give Moon Dancer! Huh. Guess she won't be needing that. Hey, look! The rest of it's still here!
Twilight: How could I have let this happen?
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Spike: Come on, Twilight. Princess Celestia gave tu an assignment. Nopony could blame tu for that.
Twilight: But look at the way I left this place. It's a total mess! Just like how I left my friendships.
[window squeaks]
Twilight: I've gotta make it up toooo... uh...
Spike: Oh! Uh, Minuette, Twinkleshine, limón Hearts, Lyra Heartstrings, and Moon Dancer.
Twilight: Yeah. Them.
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Saten: (thrown in jail cell) Oh come on! I already dicho I was sorry!
Guard: Sorry won't cut it for necklaces from from a jewelry store.
Saten: It was for my girlfriend..
Guard: Well, too bad.. Nothing is gonna allow tu to get ou-
Guard 2: A princess came and gave him promotion to leave.
Guard: But I wasn't finished my dramatic speech.
Guard 2: Don't care.. (let's Saten out).
Saten: Great... As long as the princess isn't Twilig-
Twilight: Hello Saten.
Saten: ... Maybe I should go back to the cell.
Twilight: (stops him) Look.. I understand I haven't always been overly nice to you, and I apologize.
Saten: ... Really.
Twilight: Yeah.
Saten: ... Well.. Guess it's kinda hard to stay mad at a face like yours. (smiles)
Twilight: (blushes) T- Thanks Saten.
Saten: So, why tu need me.
Twilight: Well.. I understand tu are friends with limón hearts.
Saten: Yeah, segundo cousin.. But it's been a while.
Twilight: tu remember where she lives?
Saten: Not really.. But I know where her friend Minuette is.
Twilight: Great.. Can tu take me there.
Saten: ... What's in it for me?
Twilight: Well... tu get to see your segundo cousin again... And maybe that Glaze girl would be there.
Saten: Who told tu about Glaze?
Twilight: Derpy.
Saten: (sighs) coarse she did... Fine.. I'll help tu Zarkle.
Twilight: It's Sparkle.
Saten: (chuckles) I know.
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Saten: There we are my girly..
Twilight: tu sure this the right house?
Saten: Only one way to find out (knocks on the front door).
Spike: Uh, it's not too late to forget I opened my big mouth.
Twilight: No, Spike, I'm glad tu opened your big mouth. These ponies have probably been suffering ever since I left. Wondering why their supposed friend would treat them so badly!
Saten: (looking bored) Sure, whatever..
Twilight (the door opens): Minuette?
Minuette: Twilight Sparkle!.. (laughs cutely) tu old so-and-so! What are tu doing here?! Hey, Spike!...
Saten: (in head) Oh god, she's hotter than I remember.. Still won't cheat on Trix though.
Saten: What about me?
Minuette (hugs him): Hi Saten.. Here to see Lemon?
Saten: Well, it is true I haven't seen her in a while.
Minuette: (back to her cute excitement) Oh Twilight, Look at these wings, huh?! [giggles] hola Saten, grab a picture of me and the princess, will ya?!
Saten: I, guess.
Minuette: (ignores him) I tried to tell my co-workers we used to be friends back when. [giggles] But they've never believed me! [lens focusing]
Minuette: Wait-wait-wait! Really fluff 'em up, huh? [giggles].
Saten: (takes the picture)
Minuette: So what are tu doing here Twilight? I mean, I know you're here all the time, but tu never come to see me. Hey! I just had the greatest idea! tu wanna go see limón Hearts and Twinkleshine?
Twilight: Of course! My old friends!
Minuette: It'll be great! [giggles cutely] Come on! Let's fly! Get it? [laughs].
Twilight: This is perfect! I can apologize to all three of them at once!
Spike: (sarcastically) Let's hope they're not as "traumatized" as Minuette.
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Twilight Sparkle, Twinkleshine, Minuette and limón Hearts: [laughing amongst themselves]
Minuette: She did! Twinkleshine literally spit out her oats when she heard tu were the Princess of Friendship!
Twinkleshine: We saw tu at the coronation. That was some shindig!
Twilight: tu did?
Twinkleshine: Sure! We see tu all the time!
Minuette: tu remember our old friend, Lyra, right? [giggles] She lives in Ponyville, too. We're always over there visiting her. o she's coming over here! [giggles] We've thought about asking tu to registrarse us from time to time, but we just sorta figured you'd moved on.
Twilight: (hurt por this) Oh.
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Saten and Spike: (awkward sitting at stool)
Spike: So...
Saten: (annoyed) Just keep eating.
Spike: (keeps eating donuts)
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limón Hearts: [clears throat] So what brings tu por anyway? All those times you've come back to Canterlot, tu never had donas with us before.
Twilight: Well, uh, tu see... [sighs] I came to apologize.
Minuette: [gulps] For what?
Twilight: Before I left Canterlot, I didn't really appreciate my friends. And that's because I didn't know how important friendship was. But I've learned so much since I moved to Ponyville. I learned what it means to be a good friend and that I certainly wasn't one to the three of you. So for all the pain I caused you, I am truly sorry.
Twinkleshine, Minuette and limón Hearts: [burst into laughter]
Minuette: Oh, come on, Twilight! Sure, it might've stung a little bit when tu ran off to Ponyville without saying goodbye, but it's not like we weren't used to that from you!
Twinkleshine: Yeah, we didn't take it personally.
limón Hearts: ... Yeah.. Saten never dicho good bye to me when HE left to Ponyville.. I found out from someone else.
Twilight: Wait... That's horroble. Should I bring him over?
limón Hearts: It's fine... (gasps) Hey, how about a blast from the past!?
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LATER:
Twilight: [gasps] It's our old science lab! I have so many great memories of this place!Minuette: [giggles] Remember when limón Hearts got her head stuck in that beaker?Twinkleshine, Minuette and limón Hearts: [giggling] [fillies giggling]
FLASHBACK:
Young Twilight: But according to this book, you're supposed to add the sodium chloride first.
Young Moon Dancer: I read ahead, and to make a proper salt lick, tu need to add the molasses first.
Young Twilight: (snobbishly) Well, I read ahead too, Moon Dancer, and I'm sure it dicho sodium chloride first.
Young Moon Dancer: [dryly] Oh. I've got the wrong book. That's so hilarious.
END FLASHBACK:
Twinkleshine, Minuette and limón Hearts: [giggling].
Saten: (flies over) Sorry I'm late... Someone was calling limón an ugly slut.
limón Heart: ... R -Really?
Saten: Yes. But don't worry cuz, I caught up with him in the bathroom.
(In the bathroom, Saten is seen violently beating up the dicho pony).
limón Heart: Oh.. Well... Good.
Twilight: Say... Whatever happened to Moon Dancer?
limón Hearts: Moon Dancer?
Twilight: Yeah, tu know, our other friend.
Twinkleshine: Oh, right! Moon Dancer! I remember her!
limón Hearts: I wonder what she's up to.
Minuette: Yeah, I always liked her. We just sort of lost touch after tu left.
Twinkleshine: I think she went to live out por the stadium, didn't she?
limón Hearts: Well, let's go see.
LATER THAT SAME EVENING:
Minuette: I think this is the place. Didn't used to look like this, though.
Twilight: [knocks on door][door breaks Moon peaks though, startling Twiliy]
Twilight: Umm... Moon Dancer?
Moon Dancer: What do tu want? I'm trying to study.
Twilight: It's us! Your old friends! (they all form a happy image, expect Saten, who was bored in the background).
Moon Dancer: Ugh! [door slams].
Saten: ... I like her. (everyone looks at him).. What?
Minuette: [nervous chuckle] That's old Moon Dancer, all right. She always did like her books. Hey! Kinda likeyou used to be, huh? [giggles].
Twilight: EXCATLY how I used to be.
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MEANWHILE:
Diamond: ONE VOTE!?.. Silver Spoon! tu didn't vote for me?!
Silver Spoon: No, I didn't.
Diamond Tiara: But you're my best friend!
Silver Spoon: Am I? 'Cause I tried to help por mentioning your 'surprise' statue, and suddenly I wasn't even allowed to speak! tu could have actually won this election if tu just listened to me. tu wanna know how? [whispering] Sorry. I'm not allowed to speak.
Diamond Tiera: (growls and storms off).
AppleBloom: Boy. She seems pretty upset.. We should check on her.
Scootaloo: We don't know that she's upset. Not to a certainty. All we know for sure, is that Diamond lost.
Diamond Tiera: (is heard screaming).
Sweetie Belle: What about now?
Scootaloo: Again, not enough evidence. For all we know, she's being murdered.
Sweetie Belle: True enough.
AppleBloom: Yes.. But we should go anyway.
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Minuette: (awkwardly) So, uh, what are tu studying these days?
Moon Dancer: Science, magic, history, economics, pottery. Things like that.
Minuette: Yowza! [chuckles] tu planning on being a professor o something?
Moon Dancer: No.
Minuette: So you're just... studying?
Moon Dancer: (rolls eyes) Can I go now?
Twilight: Moon Dancer, please.
Saten: Yeah, Don't be rude.
Minuette: It's all right, Twilight. We're having a good time. Right, everypony?
Twinkleshine, Saten, Spike, and limón Hearts: [unsure sounds]
Minuette: So, uh... Spike, tell Moon Dancer that story 'bout how Twilight had to read a book about doing a sleepover!
Spike: [inhales]
Moon Dancer: Slumber 101? I've read that.
Twilight: Oh! [chuckles] Really? Well, uh, did tu know limón Hearts here works at the Canterlot palace?
limón Hearts: Uh, yeah. It's true. I do the big events mostly. State dinners, that sort of thing. All but-
Moon Dancer: Ugh! [teleportation zap]
Twilight: Moon Dancer! [teleportation zap] You've gotta give friendship a chance!
Moon Dancer: Dah! I gave friendship a chance a long time ago! It didn't work out then – it isn't gonna work out now! (rudely leaves).
Saten; (catches up to her) Twilight, are tu alright?
Twilight: (heartbroken) No... No, I'm not. (starts leaving).
Saten: Wait? Where are tu going?
Twilight: I don't know, Saten... I really messed this one up. That party was everything to her. I can only imagine what it must've felt like when I didn't mostrar up.
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MEANWHILE:
manzana, apple Bloom: Hey, Diamond Tiara! Wait up!
Diamond Tiara: What do tu three want? To gloat? huh.. tu like gloating... DON'T GLOAT!.. God!
manzana, apple Bloom: Actually, we wanted to invite tu to our clubhouse to hang out.
Diamond Tiara: (pauses) Really?
Scootaloo: Yeah, for real!
Diamond Tiara: ... One question?
Diamond Tiera: Is this a prank?.. On the way to the clubhouse, would there be cops looking for me, because tu three made up wanted posters that have my face with a moustache and a Spanish name and then I get arrested and deported to South America?
Scootaloo: What? No?.. Coarse not.
Diamond Tiera: ... I'm glad because I would not have seen that coming.
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AppleBloom: Dosen't it feel like this idea has been used in a mature themed fanpop role play?... One that uses swears and unshown sex, every 2 minutes.
Scootaloo: (sarcastically) Sure.. siguiente your say the role play has Saten Twist marry AppleJack.. When she directly told us, she had written 2 restraining orders after their ONE date.
SweetieBelle: Weirder things have happened.. There's a story about me sleeping with Rarity.
Scootaloo: Jeeze, what is wrong with pe-
Diamond Tiara: So, do tu three just sit around here plotting out different ways to try and get your cutie marks?
manzana, apple Bloom: Actually... Yeah
Tiara: tu three are... really.. Lucky.
Mark Crusaders: We are?!
Diamond Tiara: Yeah! tu get to explore all these options, learning who tu really are before you're stuck with something tu don't understand!
Bloom: But... you've done that, right?
Diamond Tiara: Yeah, 'cause I have my cutie mark!... And of COARSE it's the mark I want.. I am NOTHING like Saten in that way... I'm not clinically depressed at ALL!
Scootaloo: We never dicho tha-
Diamond Tiera: WELL I'M NOT!.. I don't hate my life at ALL!... I'M SO HAPPY! (eye twitches).
Sweetie Belle:... That's weird. Since we kind of overheard tu yesterday.
Diamond Tiara: (angered) Were tu trying to get your cutie mark in spying? Is that on your little chart?
Sweetie Belle: No! We were just worried about tu when tu lost the election, and then tu lost your friend, and then your mom yelled at you...
manzana, apple Bloom: We know tu wanna change, and we think we can—
Pipsqueak: [muffled] Help![door opens]
Pipsqueak: Cutie Mark Crusaders! I was at the school board meeting and they didn't approve my request for the new playground equipment!
Sweetie Belle: Why not?
Pipsqueak: There's no money in the budget! So I checked my Peggy bank to see if I had enough bits, but my little Peggy wasn't nearly full enough!
AppleBloom: Who carries a peggy around anymor-
Sweetie Belle: Don't worry, Pip!
Scootaloo: We'll meet tu back at Bloom: And help tu find a solution!
Pipsqueak: Thanks, Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Diamond Tiara: Oh, I already HAVE a solution!... Our new student poni, pony president is gonna be kicked out of office, and I'll be reinstated!.. (Runs out)
Scootaloo: Where's SHE going!?
manzana, apple Bloom: Where do tu think?! C'mon! After her! (she and Scoots run after her)
Sweetie Belle: Wait for m- WE HAVE STAIRS!? (trips and falls down the stairs, painfully)
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Diamond Tiara: Everybody, I have an announcement!
manzana, apple Bloom: Diamond Tiara! Think hard about the choice you're makin' right now!
Scootaloo: tu can be a better pony!
Spoiled Rich: (out of nowhere) Diamond Tiara! I just happened to be here for the school board meeting, and this is what I see when we adjourn? My daughter associating with confused, insignificant lowlifes? Socializing with their kind is not how tu mover up in Equestria! Come, Diamond Tiara!
Diamond Tiara: (finally stands up to her) No, mother!
Spoiled Rich: Excuse me?!
Diamond Tiara: You've spent your life actuación like a high horse and raised me to follow in your hoofprints! At first I thought this was fine, but then I finally realized I wanted something tu don't have – friends!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasps]
Foals and Cheerilee: [gasps]
Spoiled Rich: That's enough, Diamond Tiara! Step away from those blank flanks!
Diamond Tiara: These are the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and they are my friends! tu need to stop calling them such mean and hurtful names! They are working harder to get their cutie marks than anybody I've ever seen! And they will get them exactly when they discover their true talent, which I guarantee will be amazing! So don't tu EVER call them such mean awful names!... Now, will tu please deliver this to father?
Spoiled Rich: Yes, of course, dear... (runs off).
Diamond Tiara: I have to thank you, Crusaders. tu made me realize that I CAN be be nice.. And I WILL be nice... Obviously I've known since I got my cutie mark that my talent is getting other ponies to do what I want... And now.. I just asked my father if he could donate the money for the new playground equipment!
Scootaloo: Never thought I'd say this.. but hooray for Diamond Tiara! [foals chattering].
Diamond Tiara: [to Pipsqueak] I knew tu were worried for a segundo there, weren't you? Ha! Well, I think it's all gonna work out just fine, Mister President!
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Moon Dancer: What is this?
Saten: It's a party.
Lemon: For you.
Pinkie: (pops out cake) Surprise!
Twilight Sparkle: Come on in!
Moon Dancer: Thanks but no thanks. I don't do parties.
Twilight: I know. And I think it's my fault... Back when we were in school together, tu invited me to a party. I was so focused on my studies that I didn't mostrar up.
Moon Dancer: Big deal!
Twilight: It WAS a big deal... And now that I realize how important friendship is, I'd like to make up for my mistake with a new party... A party in honor of my friend Moon Dancer! Please, you've got to let me make this up to you. Moon Dancer: And tu think this is gonna do it, huh?
Twilight: (nervously) Uh, yes?
Moon Dancer: Well, sure, why wouldn't it?... That was only the FIRST time I put myself out there, and then tu didn't even bother to mostrar up!... Then tu left town without saying goodbye even though we were supposed to be friends! I was humiliated! I felt like I wasn't important! I never wanted to let myself be hurt like that again!... (point at Minuette, limón and Twinkleshine), Those three finally convinced me that I had value! That other ponies might like me and want to be my friend! And you! Didn't! Show! UP! [screams, sobs].
Pinkie: [whispers to Spike].
Saten: Don't cry sweetie.. Still got me.
Moon Dancer: (cries even harder).
Saten: (eyes narrow but limón pushes him aside, gently).
Twilight: You're right... This party can't make up for the way I hurt you. But please, don't let my mistake be the reason tu can't be friends with anypony else.
Minuette: (cutely) We were your friends then and we'd be honored to be your friends now.
Moon Dancer: [sniffles]
Spike: (points out 3 ponies to Moon).
Moon Dancer: What? That's the librarian! The bookseller! My sister!
Minuette: You've got a lot of friends, Moon Dancer.
(short pause).
Twilight: I'm sorry, Moon Dancer. I've faced magical creatures, the end of Equestria, all sorts of things. But seeing how my actions affected you, that was one of the worst feelings I've ever had.
Moon Dancer: [warmly hugs her] Thank you, Twilight. I never realized how much I needed to hear that. Now come on, everypony! Let's party!... (to pinkie) Right?
Pinkie: Right! [party cañón squeak]
All: YAAAAAAY! [party sounds]
LATER:
Twilight: I think it's time for us to go, Moon Dancer.
Moon Dancer: Thank tu for helping me make some new friends. Even if they are my old friends.
Twilight: Oh. We'll come back and visit soon.
Moon Dancer: That would be great! You've still gotta teach me that Hayscartes technique!
Twilight: (giggles cutely) Deal.
Spike: Um, Moon Dancer? It got kinda banged up, but here's a little something I wanted to give tu back at your first party. (it reveals to be a picture of Twilight, Moon, Lemon, Lyra, Minutte and Twinkleshine, back as fillies).
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AppleBloom: (hugs Saten excitedly and cutely both at the same time) Saten! Saten! Ah finally got my cutie mark!
Saten:(hugs her back) I'm so proud of you.. Nice knowing tu have the ones tu WANT.. Unlike mine.
AppleBloom: (still hugging him).
AppleJack: (giggles) Ah still consider tu a bad influence Saten.. But glad she cares foryou.
Saten: She TOTALLY cares for me!.. (jokingly) Didn't think of THAT when tu dumped me, huh AJ?
AppleJack: (laughs) Trust me honey.. Ah know EXACTLY why ah dumped you!
Dash: (hugging Scootaloo) Wait to go squirt.. I knew tu could do it.
Scootaloo: Thanks... If only Ditto was here to see this.
Dash: We're send him the picture.
Scootaloo: What pictu-
(a sudden picture is taken of every character, and Spike sends it to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, in reference to the show's main title).
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EPISODE 3:
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[shades closing]
[windows clattering]
Fluttershy: Fuzzy Legs, do tu think tu could secure those windows?
[webs shooting]
[windows close]
Fluttershy: And you'll alert me if anything scary comes close to the cottage?
[birds squawk]
Fluttershy: Oh, who am I kidding?... It's WHEN something scary comes close to the cottage! Please tell me my hiding place is ready.
Harry: [growls nicely]
Fluttershy: Oh, look, you've filled it with everything I need to survive this awful night. Thank you. Thank tu all! Now I don't have to step a hoof outside until this whole thing is over.
[bucket clattering]
Fluttershy: Oh, no! tu don't have any carrots? Do we have any other fresh veggies tu may enjoy?
Angel: [growls]
Fluttershy: o maybe some hay?
Angel: (growls)
Fluttershy: But that means I'll need to go out... on Nightmare Night?!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Granny Smith: tu ready for making this years haunted Maze even better than last years.
Master Sword: Any excuse to scare people is enough for me... (picks up hay, seeing someone hiding behind it). Fluutershy?
Granny Smith: What're tu doin' out and about? It's Nightmare Night, remember?
Fluttershy: How could I forget?... Oh, I don't suppose I could borrow a few pieces of heno, hay from you? I forgot to stock up on comida for Angel, and tu do seem to have quite a lot.
Granny Smith: Sword and I need that for our traditional Haunted Maze. [spooky voice] The scariest maze that there ever was. Who knows what lurks inside?
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm sure I don't.
Granny Smith: Is that a mummified poni, pony that just leaped out at ya?
Fluttershy: I don't know. Is it?
Master Sword: (plays along) yeah. And what's that crunchin' sound beneath yer hooves? Maybe it's the bones of ponies that didn't make it out alive!
Fluttershy: B-B-B-B-Bones?!
Master Sword: And are those peeled grapes o a thousand slimy eyeballs starin' at ya from beyond the grave?
Fluttershy: Please tell me they're grapes!
Granny Smith: Oh, I'll never tell. [spooky laugh).
Fluttershy: [frightened sobs]
Granny Smith: Huh. I wonder what got stuck in her craw?
Master Sword: Beats me.. Let's just get back.
Granny Smith: Remember.. No swearing this year.
Master Sword: I don't swear THAT much..
FLASHBACK:
Master Sword: (showing snake to high school students) And the most I know about this species is that i- (suddenly the bites his arm) AHH! FUCK!
Students: (turn quite)
Master Sword: (pulls the snake off angrily) GOD FUCKIN DAMN IT! Fuckin son of a, FUCK!
Audience: (gasps)
Master Sword: Oh, the fucking stupid-ass serpent BIT ME!
Principle: Mr Sword, please sto-
Master Sword: Oh, mermelada a lit sparkler up my asshole and then do sit-ups. lt hurts so bad!
Principle: Sir! Words like that are NOT allowed in this school!
Master Sword: (screaming) MOTHER FUCKER BIT ME!... (calmly) I.. I mean the snake bit me... I think I need a hospital.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
LATER:
Trixie: I can't believe I have to do one of those dumb magic acts today.. It's not even a nightmare night themed type of one!
Derpy: Hey.. Saten and I will be in stage as support..Right Sat-.. Saten?
Saten: (distracted) Oh look, their building the traditional haunted maze.. Can we go after?
Derpy: I don't know.. Each año tu wind up breaking Sword's nose when he tries scaring you.
Saten: ... I've been working on that, I saw a bunch of Jason Voorhee's cine as preparation for Nightmare Night.. Nothing he can do will scare m-
Master Sword: hola Saten..
Saten: (screams in fear snd accidentally bucks Sword in the stomach).
Master Sword: WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!?
Saten: Well don't sneak up on me like that!
Derpy: (sarcastically) Yeah, your gonna do FINE tonight Saten.
Master Sword (holding nose): tu guys coming to the Maze?
Trixie: Yes.. But not wait at this moment..
Master Sword: Well... Looking adelante, hacia adelante to tu guys being there.. Especially tu Derpy.
Derpy: Best not get romantic on Nightmare Night.. Ruins the mood of the night.
Master Sword: (chuckles) fair enough.. granny smith, smith de la abuela says I swear to much, and may need to tune that down a bit.
Trixie: Well, she's not wrong.
Derpy: Yeah.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Trixie: (finishes a perfamance).
Lyra Heartstring: (clapping) I've seen better.
BonBon: (clapping) We spent five dollars on this!?
Lyra: I paid ten!
Cloudkicker (happily): We liked her hat!
Saten (finds her backstage) They loved it honey.
Trxie: Good, I'm glad.
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Fluttershy: [spooky voice] Welcome to Fluttershy's té party!
arco iris Dash: Did she just say "tea party"?
Twilight Sparkle: It sounds like it's a scary té party?
arco iris Dash: [sighs]
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] Have a seat. Don't be scared of what awaits you. Go on. Pass the sugar. Oh, no! There is none! You're a terrible host!
AJ: (growls)
Rarity, put your capa on!
Rarity: Why would I do that?
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] tu need to cover up because no one has complimented your dressssssss!
Pinkie Pie, look to your left and ask your best friend to pass the cucumber sandwiches!
Pinkie Pie: Huh? I can't. There's nobody there.
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] That's right. Because she didn't care to mostrar uuuuuup.
Pinkie Pie: What?
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] A friend who didn't come through. That must scare tu to the coooore.
Quick, everybody, look behind you!
arco iris Dash: Uh, what are those?
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] They're unplanned guests. Your woooorst nightmare. tu don't have enough comida for them! Oh, no! There's a tiny kitten that needs a home! But tu are over-scheduled right now. tu don't have time to help! I said, "You don't have time to help!" This should appear to scare you! [normal voice] Why don't tu look terrified? tu showed up to a party and everypony was extremely disappointed in you. Can tu imagine anything más upsetting?
Rarity: It was a really good try, darling, but the scares at Nightmare Night are of an entirely different nature.
Twilight Sparkle: It was really creative, though. I never would have thought of... all this.
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm just not cut out for this. Just go on without me.
Rarity: Oh, no. We couldn't possibly.
Fluttershy: tu have to. This is the night tu look adelante, hacia adelante to all year.
Pinkie Pie: We could... stay here?
Fluttershy: It's okay. I really want tu all to have fun. This is how I spend every Nightmare Night. Please go. I'll be fine.
Pinkie Pie: Eh, it's funny. I actually thought she had an idea for something really scary for a segundo there.
Applejack: She definitely tried her hardest.
[door closes]
Fluttershy: I did try my hardest.
Angel: [thumping on table]
Fluttershy: Or... maybe not. I suppose I could have gone with something a bit scarier. You're right! I've been taking baby steps! I think it's time for grown up ones! I don't suppose tu have any ideas how I could do that?
Angel: [growls mischievously]
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LATER THAT SAME EVENING:
Saten: (still with Derpy and Trixie as they enter THE HAUNTED MAZE) Ahh.. Finally we get to go into the maze... No need to be scared Trixie.
Trixie: (is clearly unafraid) I'm not.
Saten: (ironically the one who's scared) Well.. remember it's all fake.
Derpy: Are tu okay cousin?
Saten: O -Of coarse I am.. I'm not scared.
Derpy: I didn't say that tu WERE.
Saten: Well good.. Because... I'm not.
Derpy and Trixie: (unconvinced) uh huh?
Sword: (sneaks up to Saten, successfully scaring him).
Saten: (panics and punches Sword in the nose).
Sword: (holding nose) AHHH! WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?
Derpy: Yeah, what gives Saten!?
Saten: I -It was a reflex.
Trixie: Reflex!?.. Well, sure, if in a mob town.
Saten: Look I'm sor-
Sword: (enraged) tu DO THIS EVERY YEAR!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Applejack: Everybody's linin' up for the maíz maze, y'all! Let's go!
Spike: Oh, yeah! I can't believe we're finally doin' this!
[horse whinnies]
All: [scream, laugh]
arco iris Dash: It's a good thing Fluttershy isn't here because she would never be able to handle this!
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Applejack: tu out-nightmared the scariest part of the maíz maze!
Twilight Sparkle: How did tu do all this?!
Fluttershy: After tu left, I realized that I wasn't ready to give up on Nightmare Night. So I asked Sword if I could try to make the maze even scarier for my friends.
arco iris Dash: tu came up with all of this?
Fluttershy: I had some help. ángel was the scary figure that kept scurrying after tu in the maze. Fuzzy Legs made the sticky muro that made it difficult for tu to see and move. And, of course, Harry was the especially scary monster.
Harry: [growls happily]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow! That was inspired!
Pinkie Pie: tu have to do this every year!
Applejack: Uh-huh!
Rarity: Absolutely!
Twilight Sparkle: Every year!
arco iris Dash: Yeah!
Fluttershy: We could celebrate Nightmare Night
together every year. But the truth is I really don't
want to.
Pinkie Pie: tu don't?!
Rarity: But you've done it. tu found a way that we can all have a fabulous time together.
Fluttershy: Yes, but I've also realized something. tu all may amor Nightmare Night and I may be good at being a part of it, but it's no fun for me to see my friends feel like they're in danger, even if I know they're not. I really don't like it. It's just not my cup of tea.
Pinkie Pie: Spoooooooooky tea?
Fluttershy: No. Just regular tea. We do lots of fun things together, but I'm afraid this just isn't gonna be one of them. Actually, I'm not afraid. I'm perfectly fine with it.
Twilight Sparkle: Then we are, too.
Harry: [growls happily]
[bats squeaking]
Fluttershy: [sighs] I don't know why I doubted myself for a second. Now this is what I call a perfect Nightmare Night.
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EPISODE 4: (actually aseason 4 episode, but decide to skip it to season 3)..
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Narrator: Way up in the mountains in a small little town, The Main calle was being decorated all up and down. People stood in long lines, sometimes waiting hours o more, Because navidad needs to be bought in a store.
But out in the forest, not too far away...
Nearby forest. Cute forest animales gather round and decorate a small pine tree.
Narrator: The little woodland critters were also preparing for their navidad Day.
Woodland Critters: It's almost time when the time is here, The time that's only once a year. We can hardly wait, 'cause it's so near. A Woodland Critter Christmas!
Narrator: The little critters worked hard as they happily sang, And each one of them had a quite interesting name. There was Squirrely the squirrel, Rabbity the rabbit, Beavery the beaver, and Beary the bear. Porcupiney the porcupine, Skunky the skunk, Foxy the fox, and Deery the deer. Woodpeckery the woodpecker, Mousey the mouse, and Chickadee-y the chickadee, all made the forest their house.
(wow, real orginal XD)
Narrator: And on that magical day, stumbling upon all of that, was our favorito! red pony.
Saten (drinks light beer, already had 4 before it, crossing forest to get to Trixie's new house in ponyville): Still better than I use to drink... (sees them) What the hell?
Rabbity: Well, hello there. Welcome to our forest.
Skunky: How do tu like our navidad tree?
Saten: I.. I really don't care.
Beavery: Why, it's the most perfect árbol in the forest! [the other cheer]
Saten (annoyed): I don't have time for thi-
Mousey: Oh no, I see a problem.
Deery: What is it, Mousey?
Mousey: Our navidad árbol doesn't have a star.
Critters: Awww.
Beary: We can't have a árbol with no estrella on it.
Saten (annoyed): Can't I ever just cruzar, cruz the forest in peace.
Rabbity: What are we gonna do?
Squirrely: Now don't be down, y'all. Maybe our new friend can help us find a star.
Critters [among other things]: Can tu really? Oh would tu please? Could tu help us?
Stan: Fine I'll get your stupid estrella if it means tu leaving me alone.
Critters: [cheering] Yay!
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Narrator: And so, using some paper and working with glee, the happy red Pegasus made a estrella for the tree. Smiling the whole time.
Saten: (not smiling) There, its done, can I go now?
Critters: Ohhhh!
Beary: It's the nicest estrella I ever saw.
Narrator: The little critters cheered and Beavery dicho with a smile...
Beavery (smiling): How would tu like to sing and dance with us for a while?
Narrator: Saten Twist smiled and said...
Stan [doesn't smile] Uh, no thanks, I'm gonna go. [turns around, and walks off]
Beavery: Goo- goodbye Twisty!
Critters: Goodbye, Saten! Bye! Cya!
Saten (to himself) (annoyed): Uhhh.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Saten finally arrives at Trixe's house.
Trixie: What took you?
Saten: I'll tell tu later.. cena, comedor ready?
Trixie: Sure..
-------------------------------------------------------------------
THE siguiente MORNING:
Saten and Trixie assumably had sex sense this is a más mature seres than the real MLP, though it only shows the aftermath, Trixie's hair messy. Though she looks a little disappointed.
Saten: ... I'm really sorry.
Trixie: No, tu were nervous. It's okay.
Saten: Lot on my mind.
Trixie: There were.. Parts.. I liked.
Saten: ... Good enough for me, I should use the bathroom.. (turns on lamp and sees the critters) AHHH!
Trixie (covers herself that much more): AHHH, WHAT!?
Saten (annoyed): Nothing, just those stupid critters again.
Narrator: His friends were all there! What a wonderful surprise! The little boy smiled with joy in his eyes!
Saten (annoyed): Guys! Get out my future wife is naked.. Well, she never wears clothes, but in the contant of this scene.. It's bad!
Trixie: ... Future wife.
Saten: Yeah, I see tu being m-
Rabbity: That's a hot girl Saten.
Saten (annoyed): Just get out!
Squirrely: But tu two aren't gonna believe what happened. It's the most magical navidad gift ever!
Trixie (also annoyed): I agree, just get out.
Skunky: Porcupiney is pregnant!
Saten (annoyed): We don't care!
Mousey: I deduce the ponies don't understand the seriousness of the fertilization.
Deery: Porcupiney is a virgin love-birds. Her conception was immaculate.
Foxy: She's gonna give birth to our Lord and Savior.
Trixie (sighs): Not this crap.
Porcupiney: It has been foretold unto me that I would give birth on navidad Day.
Mousey: So soon!
Skunky: How delightful!
Woodpeckery: Our souls are saved!
Chickadee-y: Finally the critters are gonna have a Savior of their very own, of their very own! [they all cheer]
Squirrely [hops onto Trixie's bed]: There's just one problem: We don't have a manger for our Savior to be born in.
Saten: (annoyed facepalm)
Critters: Awwww.
Beary: But we got to have a manger.
Rabbity: Can tu do it, Stan. Can tu build us a manger? Huh?
Critters: (Cheers)
Narrator: "Of course we will build tu a little manger!" Trixie cried, and she winked at the critters and leapt to their side!
Trixie (does none of that): ... Fine, if your leave us alone.
Saten: They won't, but screw it, we're up now. May as well do something.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The forest. Trixie has built the manger and is hammering the last few nails in place. Her hair white uncombed. It actually kinda pretty. In a unkempt kinda way. Saten stays in the back, smoking a jointas he's not needed. And feel "needs one"
Narrator: And out in the woods the boy steamed right ahead, making a place for the critter babe to lay its sweet head.
Trixie: (to Saten) Any más of those?
Saten: tu smoke?
Trixie: not til just now.
Saten: Good point (passes the joint to her and she uses it) May wanna take it slow. Your first time using it sense that hippy concierto tu went too.
Trixie: (coughs) Yeah.. Not my proudest memory.. (smokes more)
Rabbity: Gee whiz, if it isn't the nicest manger I ever saw.
Mousey: I deduce it shall serve as a perfectly suitable resting place, for the Son of our Lord.
Raccoony (tired): Does this mean we can go to sleep now?
Porcupiney: My son will have the nicest cama in all the forest.
Woodpeckery: Fit for a king!
Squirrely: This is going to be the best critter navidad ever!
Woodland Critters: It's almost time when the time is here,
The time that's only once a year.
We can hardly wait, 'cause it's so near -
Saten: [as they sing, pulling out new joint, Trixie keeps the other one and walks over to the critters] All right, we're going now. [He ambles off. A roar is heard nearby. All stop and look. The critters scream.]
Critters: The mountain lion! Hide! [They scatter, leaving the ponies to face the lion alone. The lion peers out from behind a tree, Saten, por instinct, sheilds Trixie).
Saten: Uhhh, Go away! Shoo! [The lion moves off and the critters return.]
Squirrely: Is it gone?
Saten: I think so.
Skunky [behind a low tree]: I'm not c-c-comin' out.
Foxy: Well, this is the end. The mountain lion obviously knows Porcupiney is pregnant, and he's gonna kill it again.
Trixie (throws away joint): Again?
Squirrely: Every navidad the mountain lion comes down and eats the virgin critter impregnated with the Son of our Lord.
Porcupiney: Oh dear, I'm so very afraid.
Beavery: [climbs onto a stump and sits up] Let's face it. The mountain lion will never let our Savior be born.
Critters: Awwww! [some of them sob]
Squirrely: Hey, we shouldn't be upset this Christmas. We've got Saten!
Raccoony: Of course! Saten can do anything! If he can build a manger, he can stop that mean ol' mountain lion!
Narrator: Of coarse I will! Saten cried with joy.
Saten (dryly) No.. (starts leaving, throwing away joint)
Trixie: Saten wait.. What if Fluttershy finds out we let them die. We're never hear the end of it.
Saten: ... Fine.
Porcupiney: navidad is saved! [the critters cheer] The camera looks up from the woods to a mountain in the distance. Dramatic música plays.
Trixie: (kisses his cheek) Come back to me alive.
Saten: In case I don't.. (kisses her on the lips for a whole minute, which is longer than tu think)
Saten: (pulls away and reluntantely flies up to the mountain)
Trixie: ... (picks up his joint) I'm gonna need this.
Rabbity: He'll be fine.
Trixie: If he doesn't.. Your be safer with the lion than from me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator: High up in the forest on a dark, craggy peak, the horrid mountain lion and preyed on the weak. For the critters to be saved, someone had to stop that nasty old cat...
Saten (annoyed as he flies up to mountain): Goddammit, this is fucking ridiculous!
Narrator: dicho the little red pony.
Saten (annoyed): Shut up.
Narrator: Killing a mountain lion was no easy task, But he thought of a plan, and he thought of it fast.
Saten (timidly infront of cave): G -Grrr! Grrr! Come on out! [The lion is heard roaring from inside the cave, and it roars. It approaches the entrance.] Come on, critter killer! Your days of slaughtering innocent little animales are over! Rawrrrrr! [Anticipating the lion's leap, he prepares his wings. The lion lunges at him, but Saten flies up in the air and out of the way, and the lion falls over the peak and onto its death below, at the cave entrance.]
Narrator: In a flash, it was over! A victorious blow! The mountain lion lay slain on the cold ground below.
Saten Twist flies down to check if it's really dead.
Saten: Huh, that wasn't so bad.
[three lion cubs approach the entrance]
Lion Cub 1: Mommy?
Saten: … Uh oh.
Lon cub 1: Mommy! [they rush up to her body] W... wake up, Mommy, wake up!
Lion Cub 2: Don't leave us, Mommy.
Saten: (stands there awkwardly as the cubs spot him) red pony, why?! Why did tu kill our mommy? Why?
Saten: [at a loss for words] I.. They said.. I… Critter Christmas.
(the cubs cry around the corpse).
Narrator: The tiny cubs all gathered together and cried, All alone in the world because their mother had died.
Saten: [turns away and squeezes his eyes shut): Aw, god-DAMMIT!
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The critters are still there. Trixie paces anxiously.
Porcupiney [feeling a kick]: Oooo.
Beary: tu all right, Lady Porcupiney?
Porcupiney: Oh yes, just felt a little kick is all.
Beavery: Well, it's been much too long now. Uh I'm afraid our helpful friend Stanny must be very dead.
Fox: Yep, the mountain lion probably swallowed him whole.
Trixie (sarcastically): Way to comfort me.
Rabbity: I guess that means our Savior is gonna be made into Savior stew.
Trixie: Guess that means I gotta kill tu (prepares horn)
Critters: Awwww.
Trixie: Shut up!
Chickadee-y: [flitting straight up into the air] Wait a minute, look! [the animales turn to see Saten approaching them, looking sad]
Trixie: (hugs him excitedly)
The critters gather in front of him.
Mousey: you're alive!
Beary: But, does that mean tu killed the mountain lion?
Saten (quitely): Yeah.. She's dead.
Deery: For real and for true?!
Beavery: Are tu sure?
Saten: I'm sure. It won't be hurting tu anymore.
Squirrely: He did it! Now our Critter navidad can finally happen! Hail Satan!
Critters: Hail Satan!
Saten: ... tu mean me right?
Beavery: You've done us a huge favor, ponies! Without the mountain lion around, the Lady Porcupiney can give birth to the Antichrist!
Critters: Yaaay! [they head over to the manger]
Saten: Wai-wait, the Antichrist? tu dicho she was giving birth to your savior!
Squirrely: Yeah, to the Son of our Lord, Satan, Prince of Darkness.
Saten: But we thought tu meant the Son of God!
Deery: Well, think about it: tu really think God would have sex with a porcupine?
Trixie: Sex wit- WHAT!?
Chickadee-y: No way! Only Satan, Prince of Darkness and King of all Evil would do that! Yay!
Saten: I knew this was a mistake.
Foxy: This just calls for a celebration! Let's sacrifice Rabbity and eat his flesh!
Saten: Wait what!?
Rabbity: Yay! Sacrifice me to the Devil!
The other critters cheer. As Beary pulls up a Satanic altar on a small wagon with a little help from Squirrely. The other animales bring Rabbity up to the altar. Rabbity is propped up on the altar and Beary tears him apart with a sacrificial blade.
Trixie: OH MY GOD!
The other animales crowd in, tear away pieces of the body, and eat them raw.
Chickadee-y: Drink his blood! Drink his blood!
Saten and Trixie are frozen in shock.
Squirrely: [jumps into a puddle of blood] Blood orgy!
Critters: Yay, blood orgy! Blood orgy, yay!
The critters drench themselves in Rabbity's blood and begin the orgy. Beavery mounts Raccoony, Skunky mounts Porcupiney, Mousey mounts foxy, and Beary mounts Deery. Squirrely hops onto Deery's left ear and mounts that. Chickadee-y and Woodpeckery start flitting around. In the background plays "Lucifers Hymm" during all this, starting from Rabbity's death.
Saten and Trixie stare at them, traumatized.
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Narrator: In the gentle forest clearing on navidad Eve morn, The little forest critters prepared for the Antichrist to be born. The noble mountain lion had stopped evil in all the years past, But now the good protector lay dead as the good owls amassed. And meanwhile, three lion cubs were crying away. For them, there would certainly be no navidad Day.
And all of this because of the little red pony, for killing a lion.
Saten is shown in his house, with his head buried into his arms at his escritorio in his room.
Saten: Uhhh.
Narrator: "I know!" Saten Twist dicho with a new happy grin, "I'll go back to the forest and speak with those critters again!"
Saten: [waves the narrator away and leaves his desk]
Narrator: He ran out the living room, turned out the light, and went back to the forest to set everything right!
Saten enters the living room, hops on the sofa, and turns on the TV.
TV: In west Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground, is where I spent most of my days.
Narrrator: (aham) And he went back to the forest to set everything right!
Angry look on his face, Saten turns the volume up to drown out the narrator.
Narrator: He tried to ignore the issue with TV, but his conscience caught up with him, and to the forest he did flee...
Saten: (turns it louder)
Narrator: He thought he could hide from his problems - not true! [Saten rolls his eyes] He knew in his corazón the thing he had to do!
Saten (annoyedly): Leave me alone!
Narrator: He knew that only por going to the forest could he -
Saten: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!.. GOD! [He turns off the TV, hops off the sofa and walks out the door, leaving the remote control on the floor.]
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The woodland critters continue decorating their árbol and also the manger Trixie made them.
Beavery: [looks around] Hey, look everyone! It's our old pal, Twisty. [the other critters turn and look, Saten flies over, Trixie behind him for backup.
Woodpeckery: Oh boy, buddy. tu came just in time!
Deery: Yeah. We've got a big problem. We ne-
Saten (holding hammer): Shut up! We're not doing tu anymore favors and I'm not letting tu give birth to the Antichrist! [walks off] I came here to put a stop to all this!
Beavery: To stop us?
Trixie: tu heard him.
Beary: But gee whiz Saten, if tu and your lady try to stop us, we'd have to use our evil Satanic powers on ya.
Saten: Right, whatever. [turns around readying hammer] I'm taking down the manger Trixie built. [Beary's eyes turn red and brighten. A muro of hellfire appears before Saten.] Ah! [The muro gets higher.] AAAH! [All the critters' eyes are flashing a bright red. Black crows swoop down and attack Stan.] AHH AHHHH! [A two-headed demon dog appears snarling at him; he runs off in terror, hiding behind Trixie who doesn't seem mind]
[The critters' eyes revert back to normal.]
Beary: Oh boy! Our Satanic powers sure did the trick!
Chickadee-y: Our powers get stronger every day! Get stronger every day!
Squirrely (goes over to them): Sorry ponies, but tu see, nothing can stop the birth of the Antichrist, except for a mountain lion.
Skunky: And tu got rid of her.
Critters: Yay!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Fluttershy suddenly flies over, wearing a santa hat, cause it's christmas.
Beavery: Wow, look, it's that pegasus that kicked us out.
Raccoony: Let's eat his flesh!
Critters: Yaaay!
Fluttershy: What the hell is going on?
Trixie: It's Critter Christmas, girl! It sucks ass!
Fluttershy: What are tu guys doing?
Raccoony: We finally did it, Fluttershy! We're about to bring forth the Antichrist with help from our new friends.
Skunky: Death and pain await all living things. Yay!
Fluttershy: Saten!
Saten: I'm sorry, they tricked us.. I... I tried to stop them!
Fluttershy: Well don't worry, I know only one way to stop devil-worshiping critters! [She reaches behind her and whips out a sawed off pump-shotgun. She fires, and the parte superior, arriba half of Beavery's head is gone.]
Trixie: acebo SHIT!!
Critters: Aaaaah! [They scatter. Fluttershy fires again, and Deery goes down. Two más shots and the tops of Raccoony's and Skunky's heads come off.]
Saten: Yeah! Go Fluttershy!
Squirrely activates his demon power with the red glow from his eyes and a muro of hellfire appears before Fluttershy. Trixie fires a spell killing Squirrely.
Saten: Nice one.
Fluttershy continues firing at the remaining critters. Porcupiney is blown apart, then Foxy.
Beary (tries playing cute) Gee whiz, Fluttershy, you're not gonna kill me, are yo- [His head is blown off por her gun, and he goes down.]
Fluttershy (throws down gun and back to normal cute self): There.. They're dead.. We saved Christmas.. We get a wish.. Anything tu guys wanna wishful?
Saten [thinks]: Yeah.. There is.
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The lions' cave. Some magic revives the mother lion.
Mother Lion: Wha - Oh my, what happened?
Cubs: Mommy! (they hug her)
Saten (watching with the girls) [relieved]: Oh, good.
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Trixie: Man.. This was fucked up Christmas..
Saten: Yeah.. But still beat thanksgiving with Derpy's crazy booyfriend.
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Master Sword: I've been waiting for this all year.. (pulls out the turkey) Giving tu people the bird.
Saten: Oh.. (hand goes to the turkey) Looks so go- AH! SHIT!
Sword: (stabbed the hand with large fork) Neh uh.. Not til we say grace.
Saten: So, in conclusion, I believe the painful sensation felt after passing a meal of spicy chillies is proof that the rectum does possess the sense of taste.
Trixie: ... I concur, but tu changed the subject. What are we doing for hearts and hoove's Day?
Saten: ... Oh, tu caught that, did you?
Trixie: Come on Saten, tu know I can only be here for so long., It was part of the deal... And I don't remember the last time tu even did anything romantic?
Saten: Sure I do.. I got tu that flower.
Trixie: It was Poison Joke.
Saten: How was I suppose to know that!?
Trixie: It had a sign saying it was Poison Joke.
Saten: ... Well, I... I went to your show.
Trixie: Yes, and tu beaten up my manager just for telling me I did a good job.
Saten: God! There's just no pleasing you!
Trixie: Saten.. tu know I amor you.. But I'm just saying., try being a bit más of a gentlemen.
Saten: Fine. I'll try..
Waiter: Here's the bill.
Saten: Alright.. (starts leaving) Thanks for paying Trixie.
Trixie: (sighs).
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Derpy: I really messed up on those invitations! I feel just awful!
Master Sword: Why'd tu bring me to Cake N' tocino, bacon for our third date, I HATE this place!
Derpy: I told Cranky I could get 'em printed for cheap, but that meant hiring somebody with no experience using a printing press... Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this.
Sword: To prove my hatred of this place, I'm gonna leave a lousy tip...under fifteen percent!... And then I'll send my meal back, even though it's EXACTLY what I ordered!
Derpy: Is it possible were having two different conversations?
Sword: How should I know, I'm not listening to you!
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Saten: Derpy I need to your opinion about something?
Derpy: I was gonna tell tu the same thing.
If I don't do something about this wrong día mishap, I'm not sure if Cranky Danky will ever forgive me.
Saten: (not listening) Trixie wants me to try being a better boyfriend. I'm not sure what to do.
Derpy: (also not listening) Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this.
Saten: Maybe I should ask AppleJack for advice. She always tried making me a better boyfriend, but I wasn't listening at the time.. Classic me.
Derpy: I offered Danky a refund but it didn't help too much.
Saten: Perhaps I should bring an notepad. lista the things AppleJack will say..
Derpy: tu know what? I'll probably end up making a lista of ways to fix this.
Saten: I'm glad we talked.
Derpy: I'm always here for tu cousin.
Saten: Me too.
(they both get up and leave in different directions).
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Hooves: Going back in time is old thinking, my friend. I was working off a cutting-edge theory of making time come adelante, hacia adelante to you... My life's work, decades – centuries, really – of research and experimentation, and I nearly had it cracked! Turns out there's a magic spell for it. Who knew?
Master Sword: Yeah, yeah, yeah... So will tu help Derpy o not?., I wasn't that helpful earlier, and now I feel bad.
Dr. Hooves: What's in it for me?
Master Sword: How about the glory of me not breaking your arm for your earlier statement.
Dr. Hooves: All I dicho was she looks a bit slu-
Master Sword: (holds Hoove's arm painfully).
Dr. Hooves: OKAY! OKAY!
Master Sword: (releases).
Dr. Hooves: Shit! That's like some red army shit!
Master Sword: Not really, my dad used it on my segundo sister.
Dr. Hooves: What segundo sister?
Master Sword: Exactly.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
LATER:
Saten: Hello AppleJack.
AppleJack: (with the other girls as they discuss a plan) Ah can't talk wait now Saten.
Saten: But would tu help me be a better boyfriend for Trixie.
AppleJack: Surely tu must have 'other' X girlfriends. Yer kinda handsome.
Saten: Well.. There was that 'one' girl I tried asking out... But things didn't go well.
FLASHBACK:
Glaze: (in the middle of canto the arco iris factory música video).
Saten: (comes onto the set, forth muro styled) Excuse me, parden me.
Director: CUUT!... Who the fuck is this!?
Glaze: (facehoof) Saten.. I told tu not to bother me at work.
Saten: But tu have my weed?
Glaze: I told tu to wait till after the show. (gives him bag).
Saten: But I wanted to see your cute face again!
Masked pony: Give it a break dude!
Saten: Shut up Jim!... Your not even a good actor!
Jim: Least I got hired!
Director: Just get out of here Redboy!
Saten: Fine.. One second.. (to Glaze) Wanna go out?
Glaze: ... What?
Saten: Please go out with me.. I know tu don't like me más than as a friend, and that tu never did. But the gala's coming, I wanna make AJ jealous ... I promise I'll pay and everything.
Glaze: Well.. Uhh... That sounds cool, but I'm gonna in the hospital that day.. (shoots herself in the chest with a nail-gun, and falls to the ground, bleeding out).
Glaze: AAHHHHH!!! (crawls away in pain, a trail of blood being left por her).
Saten: ... Okay. Maybe siguiente time then.
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Saten: Well, I should get goin-
Twi: Saten, wait.. tu know how we put tu as part of our group now?
Saten: What about it?
Pinkie: We need tu your help., Something's coming.
Saten: (groans) What is it THIS time?
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Octavia: Why are Saten and the girls huddled up like that? Do we know what they're on about?
manzana, apple Bloom: The way they're huddled up like that, I'd say it's either a friendship problem o a monster attack.
Octavia: (naively believing her) A monster attack?! Blast! I'm performing at the ceremony this afternoon, and I still haven't sorted out what to play. How am I meant to practice with a monster invading Ponyville?
Sweetie Belle: Maybe it's just a friendship problem, and it'll all be cleared up in half an hora o so.
Octavia: [groan] I hope so.
Scootaloo: I really don't Saten would count as one of their friendship problems.
AppleBloom: He might. I mean, he's good guy underneath all his rage stuff. Ah hang with him all the time.
Matilda: Where's Pinkie Pie?! I need my wedding planner!
Conveniently this it dose reveal their is a monster attacking ponyville. And the main six (well 7) fraught against it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Derpy: (ignoring the fight in the background) What am I gonna do? [gasp] Matilda! I feel so bad about the invitations! Is there anything I can do—
Matilda: FLOWERS!
Derpy: Flowers! got it! (flies off to get flowers)
Lily: tu want Matilda's arrangements... today?! [thud]
Daisy: This is awful!
Rose: The horror, the horror!
Derpy: So there's no way tu can do it?
Lily: We don't even have Matilda's flores in yet, much less arranged! [gasps] This is a disaster!
Derpy: ... Okay. Thanks anyway.
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Master Sword: There tu are! My suit has vanished and this was the only thing left in my closet! How do I look?
Derpy: Like a million bits!
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Mayor Mare: But I also see so many ponies from all trots of life, brought together por love. Cranky searched all across this great land of ours to find Matilda, and no matter what obstacles kept them apart, amor would finally bring them together, just as it has brought all of us together now. It's remarkable to me how a story like Cranky's buscar for Matilda could fill this room with such a unique collection of ponies! It makes tu realize that everybody is the estrella of their own story. And it's not just the main characters in our stories that make life so rich! It's everybody – those who play big parts and those who play small. If it weren't for everybody in this room and many más who couldn't be here today, Cranky and Matilda's lives wouldn't be as full and vibrant as they are.
Cracky: Well, that was a rather "convenient" speech,. But thank you
Carret Top: (crying) I had NO lines!
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Twilight: tu know something, girls? We are so lucky to live in this town. I amor tu all! *they all hug*.
AJ: Say? What happened to Saten?
Twilight: He dicho he had other important business to attend.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Saten: *drinking at a bar, his head bandaged a little from the earlier attack*.
Bartender: Don't tu think tu had enough?
Saten: *a bit drunk*I don't tell tu how to live YOUR life!
Trixie: *comes over and finds him*
Bartender: *sees her* Oh wow. She's she's a hottie.. I'm gonna stalk her later.
Saten: ... Are tu a woman?
Bartender: No.
Saten: Good *punches out the bartender*
Trixie: *comes over* tu okay Saten? I heard about the bugbear?
Saten: Yeah.. I'm fine.
Trixie: ... Any luck with the romance thing? *giggles*
Saten: ... Afraid not.
Trixie: I thought as much.. I feel bad that I gave tu a hard time earlier, so I decided to get us a fansy cena, comedor reservation.
Saten: ... But that's más of Rarity's thing.
Trixie: Just give it a try.. I'll meet tu there *kisses his cheek and leaves, ignoring the drunk costumers hitting on her*
Saten: Hey! Could tu please stop hitting on her.. I swear, I will turn a hose on all of you!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
EPISODE 2:
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Spike: [sighs] tu know the worst thing about tu being the Princess of Friendship? The dishes.
Twilight: Thanks for taking care of that, Spike. After three events in one week, I really needed to relax with a good book.
Spike: It's kinda funny, isn't it? All these ponies comin' to tu for consejos about friendship?
Twilight: What's funny about that?
Spike: tu know, 'cause tu used to be famous for being such a bad friend.
Twilight: What are tu talking about? I had good friends in Canterlot.
Spike: Come on, Twilight. Look at the wall. D'ya see any fotos from before we moved to Ponyville? And look at tu now – the Princess of Friendship.
Twilight: [gasps] This is a disaster! All my old friends! I can't remember any of their names right now! But do tu really think that they think I'm a bad friend?!
Spike: Well, I only meant that you've come so far. You're a great friend now and—
Twilight: Oh, I feel terrible! I've gotta make it up to them! Pack a bag, Spike! We're going to Canterlot! And make a lista of my friend's names.
Spike: Aw. Me and my big mouth.
Spike: Come on, Twilight. You're getting worked up about nothin'.
Twilight: The only logical place to start is at the beginning.
[doors open]
Twilight: Oh. It's exactly how we left it! [blows] Look! It's Predictions and Prophecies! And it's still open to the Elements of Harmony!
Spike: And here's that present I was gonna give Moon Dancer! Huh. Guess she won't be needing that. Hey, look! The rest of it's still here!
Twilight: How could I have let this happen?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Spike: Come on, Twilight. Princess Celestia gave tu an assignment. Nopony could blame tu for that.
Twilight: But look at the way I left this place. It's a total mess! Just like how I left my friendships.
[window squeaks]
Twilight: I've gotta make it up toooo... uh...
Spike: Oh! Uh, Minuette, Twinkleshine, limón Hearts, Lyra Heartstrings, and Moon Dancer.
Twilight: Yeah. Them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Saten: (thrown in jail cell) Oh come on! I already dicho I was sorry!
Guard: Sorry won't cut it for necklaces from from a jewelry store.
Saten: It was for my girlfriend..
Guard: Well, too bad.. Nothing is gonna allow tu to get ou-
Guard 2: A princess came and gave him promotion to leave.
Guard: But I wasn't finished my dramatic speech.
Guard 2: Don't care.. (let's Saten out).
Saten: Great... As long as the princess isn't Twilig-
Twilight: Hello Saten.
Saten: ... Maybe I should go back to the cell.
Twilight: (stops him) Look.. I understand I haven't always been overly nice to you, and I apologize.
Saten: ... Really.
Twilight: Yeah.
Saten: ... Well.. Guess it's kinda hard to stay mad at a face like yours. (smiles)
Twilight: (blushes) T- Thanks Saten.
Saten: So, why tu need me.
Twilight: Well.. I understand tu are friends with limón hearts.
Saten: Yeah, segundo cousin.. But it's been a while.
Twilight: tu remember where she lives?
Saten: Not really.. But I know where her friend Minuette is.
Twilight: Great.. Can tu take me there.
Saten: ... What's in it for me?
Twilight: Well... tu get to see your segundo cousin again... And maybe that Glaze girl would be there.
Saten: Who told tu about Glaze?
Twilight: Derpy.
Saten: (sighs) coarse she did... Fine.. I'll help tu Zarkle.
Twilight: It's Sparkle.
Saten: (chuckles) I know.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Saten: There we are my girly..
Twilight: tu sure this the right house?
Saten: Only one way to find out (knocks on the front door).
Spike: Uh, it's not too late to forget I opened my big mouth.
Twilight: No, Spike, I'm glad tu opened your big mouth. These ponies have probably been suffering ever since I left. Wondering why their supposed friend would treat them so badly!
Saten: (looking bored) Sure, whatever..
Twilight (the door opens): Minuette?
Minuette: Twilight Sparkle!.. (laughs cutely) tu old so-and-so! What are tu doing here?! Hey, Spike!...
Saten: (in head) Oh god, she's hotter than I remember.. Still won't cheat on Trix though.
Saten: What about me?
Minuette (hugs him): Hi Saten.. Here to see Lemon?
Saten: Well, it is true I haven't seen her in a while.
Minuette: (back to her cute excitement) Oh Twilight, Look at these wings, huh?! [giggles] hola Saten, grab a picture of me and the princess, will ya?!
Saten: I, guess.
Minuette: (ignores him) I tried to tell my co-workers we used to be friends back when. [giggles] But they've never believed me! [lens focusing]
Minuette: Wait-wait-wait! Really fluff 'em up, huh? [giggles].
Saten: (takes the picture)
Minuette: So what are tu doing here Twilight? I mean, I know you're here all the time, but tu never come to see me. Hey! I just had the greatest idea! tu wanna go see limón Hearts and Twinkleshine?
Twilight: Of course! My old friends!
Minuette: It'll be great! [giggles cutely] Come on! Let's fly! Get it? [laughs].
Twilight: This is perfect! I can apologize to all three of them at once!
Spike: (sarcastically) Let's hope they're not as "traumatized" as Minuette.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Twilight Sparkle, Twinkleshine, Minuette and limón Hearts: [laughing amongst themselves]
Minuette: She did! Twinkleshine literally spit out her oats when she heard tu were the Princess of Friendship!
Twinkleshine: We saw tu at the coronation. That was some shindig!
Twilight: tu did?
Twinkleshine: Sure! We see tu all the time!
Minuette: tu remember our old friend, Lyra, right? [giggles] She lives in Ponyville, too. We're always over there visiting her. o she's coming over here! [giggles] We've thought about asking tu to registrarse us from time to time, but we just sorta figured you'd moved on.
Twilight: (hurt por this) Oh.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Saten and Spike: (awkward sitting at stool)
Spike: So...
Saten: (annoyed) Just keep eating.
Spike: (keeps eating donuts)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
limón Hearts: [clears throat] So what brings tu por anyway? All those times you've come back to Canterlot, tu never had donas with us before.
Twilight: Well, uh, tu see... [sighs] I came to apologize.
Minuette: [gulps] For what?
Twilight: Before I left Canterlot, I didn't really appreciate my friends. And that's because I didn't know how important friendship was. But I've learned so much since I moved to Ponyville. I learned what it means to be a good friend and that I certainly wasn't one to the three of you. So for all the pain I caused you, I am truly sorry.
Twinkleshine, Minuette and limón Hearts: [burst into laughter]
Minuette: Oh, come on, Twilight! Sure, it might've stung a little bit when tu ran off to Ponyville without saying goodbye, but it's not like we weren't used to that from you!
Twinkleshine: Yeah, we didn't take it personally.
limón Hearts: ... Yeah.. Saten never dicho good bye to me when HE left to Ponyville.. I found out from someone else.
Twilight: Wait... That's horroble. Should I bring him over?
limón Hearts: It's fine... (gasps) Hey, how about a blast from the past!?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
LATER:
Twilight: [gasps] It's our old science lab! I have so many great memories of this place!Minuette: [giggles] Remember when limón Hearts got her head stuck in that beaker?Twinkleshine, Minuette and limón Hearts: [giggling] [fillies giggling]
FLASHBACK:
Young Twilight: But according to this book, you're supposed to add the sodium chloride first.
Young Moon Dancer: I read ahead, and to make a proper salt lick, tu need to add the molasses first.
Young Twilight: (snobbishly) Well, I read ahead too, Moon Dancer, and I'm sure it dicho sodium chloride first.
Young Moon Dancer: [dryly] Oh. I've got the wrong book. That's so hilarious.
END FLASHBACK:
Twinkleshine, Minuette and limón Hearts: [giggling].
Saten: (flies over) Sorry I'm late... Someone was calling limón an ugly slut.
limón Heart: ... R -Really?
Saten: Yes. But don't worry cuz, I caught up with him in the bathroom.
(In the bathroom, Saten is seen violently beating up the dicho pony).
limón Heart: Oh.. Well... Good.
Twilight: Say... Whatever happened to Moon Dancer?
limón Hearts: Moon Dancer?
Twilight: Yeah, tu know, our other friend.
Twinkleshine: Oh, right! Moon Dancer! I remember her!
limón Hearts: I wonder what she's up to.
Minuette: Yeah, I always liked her. We just sort of lost touch after tu left.
Twinkleshine: I think she went to live out por the stadium, didn't she?
limón Hearts: Well, let's go see.
LATER THAT SAME EVENING:
Minuette: I think this is the place. Didn't used to look like this, though.
Twilight: [knocks on door][door breaks Moon peaks though, startling Twiliy]
Twilight: Umm... Moon Dancer?
Moon Dancer: What do tu want? I'm trying to study.
Twilight: It's us! Your old friends! (they all form a happy image, expect Saten, who was bored in the background).
Moon Dancer: Ugh! [door slams].
Saten: ... I like her. (everyone looks at him).. What?
Minuette: [nervous chuckle] That's old Moon Dancer, all right. She always did like her books. Hey! Kinda likeyou used to be, huh? [giggles].
Twilight: EXCATLY how I used to be.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
MEANWHILE:
Diamond: ONE VOTE!?.. Silver Spoon! tu didn't vote for me?!
Silver Spoon: No, I didn't.
Diamond Tiara: But you're my best friend!
Silver Spoon: Am I? 'Cause I tried to help por mentioning your 'surprise' statue, and suddenly I wasn't even allowed to speak! tu could have actually won this election if tu just listened to me. tu wanna know how? [whispering] Sorry. I'm not allowed to speak.
Diamond Tiera: (growls and storms off).
AppleBloom: Boy. She seems pretty upset.. We should check on her.
Scootaloo: We don't know that she's upset. Not to a certainty. All we know for sure, is that Diamond lost.
Diamond Tiera: (is heard screaming).
Sweetie Belle: What about now?
Scootaloo: Again, not enough evidence. For all we know, she's being murdered.
Sweetie Belle: True enough.
AppleBloom: Yes.. But we should go anyway.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Minuette: (awkwardly) So, uh, what are tu studying these days?
Moon Dancer: Science, magic, history, economics, pottery. Things like that.
Minuette: Yowza! [chuckles] tu planning on being a professor o something?
Moon Dancer: No.
Minuette: So you're just... studying?
Moon Dancer: (rolls eyes) Can I go now?
Twilight: Moon Dancer, please.
Saten: Yeah, Don't be rude.
Minuette: It's all right, Twilight. We're having a good time. Right, everypony?
Twinkleshine, Saten, Spike, and limón Hearts: [unsure sounds]
Minuette: So, uh... Spike, tell Moon Dancer that story 'bout how Twilight had to read a book about doing a sleepover!
Spike: [inhales]
Moon Dancer: Slumber 101? I've read that.
Twilight: Oh! [chuckles] Really? Well, uh, did tu know limón Hearts here works at the Canterlot palace?
limón Hearts: Uh, yeah. It's true. I do the big events mostly. State dinners, that sort of thing. All but-
Moon Dancer: Ugh! [teleportation zap]
Twilight: Moon Dancer! [teleportation zap] You've gotta give friendship a chance!
Moon Dancer: Dah! I gave friendship a chance a long time ago! It didn't work out then – it isn't gonna work out now! (rudely leaves).
Saten; (catches up to her) Twilight, are tu alright?
Twilight: (heartbroken) No... No, I'm not. (starts leaving).
Saten: Wait? Where are tu going?
Twilight: I don't know, Saten... I really messed this one up. That party was everything to her. I can only imagine what it must've felt like when I didn't mostrar up.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
MEANWHILE:
manzana, apple Bloom: Hey, Diamond Tiara! Wait up!
Diamond Tiara: What do tu three want? To gloat? huh.. tu like gloating... DON'T GLOAT!.. God!
manzana, apple Bloom: Actually, we wanted to invite tu to our clubhouse to hang out.
Diamond Tiara: (pauses) Really?
Scootaloo: Yeah, for real!
Diamond Tiara: ... One question?
Diamond Tiera: Is this a prank?.. On the way to the clubhouse, would there be cops looking for me, because tu three made up wanted posters that have my face with a moustache and a Spanish name and then I get arrested and deported to South America?
Scootaloo: What? No?.. Coarse not.
Diamond Tiera: ... I'm glad because I would not have seen that coming.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
AppleBloom: Dosen't it feel like this idea has been used in a mature themed fanpop role play?... One that uses swears and unshown sex, every 2 minutes.
Scootaloo: (sarcastically) Sure.. siguiente your say the role play has Saten Twist marry AppleJack.. When she directly told us, she had written 2 restraining orders after their ONE date.
SweetieBelle: Weirder things have happened.. There's a story about me sleeping with Rarity.
Scootaloo: Jeeze, what is wrong with pe-
Diamond Tiara: So, do tu three just sit around here plotting out different ways to try and get your cutie marks?
manzana, apple Bloom: Actually... Yeah
Tiara: tu three are... really.. Lucky.
Mark Crusaders: We are?!
Diamond Tiara: Yeah! tu get to explore all these options, learning who tu really are before you're stuck with something tu don't understand!
Bloom: But... you've done that, right?
Diamond Tiara: Yeah, 'cause I have my cutie mark!... And of COARSE it's the mark I want.. I am NOTHING like Saten in that way... I'm not clinically depressed at ALL!
Scootaloo: We never dicho tha-
Diamond Tiera: WELL I'M NOT!.. I don't hate my life at ALL!... I'M SO HAPPY! (eye twitches).
Sweetie Belle:... That's weird. Since we kind of overheard tu yesterday.
Diamond Tiara: (angered) Were tu trying to get your cutie mark in spying? Is that on your little chart?
Sweetie Belle: No! We were just worried about tu when tu lost the election, and then tu lost your friend, and then your mom yelled at you...
manzana, apple Bloom: We know tu wanna change, and we think we can—
Pipsqueak: [muffled] Help![door opens]
Pipsqueak: Cutie Mark Crusaders! I was at the school board meeting and they didn't approve my request for the new playground equipment!
Sweetie Belle: Why not?
Pipsqueak: There's no money in the budget! So I checked my Peggy bank to see if I had enough bits, but my little Peggy wasn't nearly full enough!
AppleBloom: Who carries a peggy around anymor-
Sweetie Belle: Don't worry, Pip!
Scootaloo: We'll meet tu back at Bloom: And help tu find a solution!
Pipsqueak: Thanks, Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Diamond Tiara: Oh, I already HAVE a solution!... Our new student poni, pony president is gonna be kicked out of office, and I'll be reinstated!.. (Runs out)
Scootaloo: Where's SHE going!?
manzana, apple Bloom: Where do tu think?! C'mon! After her! (she and Scoots run after her)
Sweetie Belle: Wait for m- WE HAVE STAIRS!? (trips and falls down the stairs, painfully)
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Diamond Tiara: Everybody, I have an announcement!
manzana, apple Bloom: Diamond Tiara! Think hard about the choice you're makin' right now!
Scootaloo: tu can be a better pony!
Spoiled Rich: (out of nowhere) Diamond Tiara! I just happened to be here for the school board meeting, and this is what I see when we adjourn? My daughter associating with confused, insignificant lowlifes? Socializing with their kind is not how tu mover up in Equestria! Come, Diamond Tiara!
Diamond Tiara: (finally stands up to her) No, mother!
Spoiled Rich: Excuse me?!
Diamond Tiara: You've spent your life actuación like a high horse and raised me to follow in your hoofprints! At first I thought this was fine, but then I finally realized I wanted something tu don't have – friends!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasps]
Foals and Cheerilee: [gasps]
Spoiled Rich: That's enough, Diamond Tiara! Step away from those blank flanks!
Diamond Tiara: These are the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and they are my friends! tu need to stop calling them such mean and hurtful names! They are working harder to get their cutie marks than anybody I've ever seen! And they will get them exactly when they discover their true talent, which I guarantee will be amazing! So don't tu EVER call them such mean awful names!... Now, will tu please deliver this to father?
Spoiled Rich: Yes, of course, dear... (runs off).
Diamond Tiara: I have to thank you, Crusaders. tu made me realize that I CAN be be nice.. And I WILL be nice... Obviously I've known since I got my cutie mark that my talent is getting other ponies to do what I want... And now.. I just asked my father if he could donate the money for the new playground equipment!
Scootaloo: Never thought I'd say this.. but hooray for Diamond Tiara! [foals chattering].
Diamond Tiara: [to Pipsqueak] I knew tu were worried for a segundo there, weren't you? Ha! Well, I think it's all gonna work out just fine, Mister President!
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Moon Dancer: What is this?
Saten: It's a party.
Lemon: For you.
Pinkie: (pops out cake) Surprise!
Twilight Sparkle: Come on in!
Moon Dancer: Thanks but no thanks. I don't do parties.
Twilight: I know. And I think it's my fault... Back when we were in school together, tu invited me to a party. I was so focused on my studies that I didn't mostrar up.
Moon Dancer: Big deal!
Twilight: It WAS a big deal... And now that I realize how important friendship is, I'd like to make up for my mistake with a new party... A party in honor of my friend Moon Dancer! Please, you've got to let me make this up to you. Moon Dancer: And tu think this is gonna do it, huh?
Twilight: (nervously) Uh, yes?
Moon Dancer: Well, sure, why wouldn't it?... That was only the FIRST time I put myself out there, and then tu didn't even bother to mostrar up!... Then tu left town without saying goodbye even though we were supposed to be friends! I was humiliated! I felt like I wasn't important! I never wanted to let myself be hurt like that again!... (point at Minuette, limón and Twinkleshine), Those three finally convinced me that I had value! That other ponies might like me and want to be my friend! And you! Didn't! Show! UP! [screams, sobs].
Pinkie: [whispers to Spike].
Saten: Don't cry sweetie.. Still got me.
Moon Dancer: (cries even harder).
Saten: (eyes narrow but limón pushes him aside, gently).
Twilight: You're right... This party can't make up for the way I hurt you. But please, don't let my mistake be the reason tu can't be friends with anypony else.
Minuette: (cutely) We were your friends then and we'd be honored to be your friends now.
Moon Dancer: [sniffles]
Spike: (points out 3 ponies to Moon).
Moon Dancer: What? That's the librarian! The bookseller! My sister!
Minuette: You've got a lot of friends, Moon Dancer.
(short pause).
Twilight: I'm sorry, Moon Dancer. I've faced magical creatures, the end of Equestria, all sorts of things. But seeing how my actions affected you, that was one of the worst feelings I've ever had.
Moon Dancer: [warmly hugs her] Thank you, Twilight. I never realized how much I needed to hear that. Now come on, everypony! Let's party!... (to pinkie) Right?
Pinkie: Right! [party cañón squeak]
All: YAAAAAAY! [party sounds]
LATER:
Twilight: I think it's time for us to go, Moon Dancer.
Moon Dancer: Thank tu for helping me make some new friends. Even if they are my old friends.
Twilight: Oh. We'll come back and visit soon.
Moon Dancer: That would be great! You've still gotta teach me that Hayscartes technique!
Twilight: (giggles cutely) Deal.
Spike: Um, Moon Dancer? It got kinda banged up, but here's a little something I wanted to give tu back at your first party. (it reveals to be a picture of Twilight, Moon, Lemon, Lyra, Minutte and Twinkleshine, back as fillies).
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AppleBloom: (hugs Saten excitedly and cutely both at the same time) Saten! Saten! Ah finally got my cutie mark!
Saten:(hugs her back) I'm so proud of you.. Nice knowing tu have the ones tu WANT.. Unlike mine.
AppleBloom: (still hugging him).
AppleJack: (giggles) Ah still consider tu a bad influence Saten.. But glad she cares foryou.
Saten: She TOTALLY cares for me!.. (jokingly) Didn't think of THAT when tu dumped me, huh AJ?
AppleJack: (laughs) Trust me honey.. Ah know EXACTLY why ah dumped you!
Dash: (hugging Scootaloo) Wait to go squirt.. I knew tu could do it.
Scootaloo: Thanks... If only Ditto was here to see this.
Dash: We're send him the picture.
Scootaloo: What pictu-
(a sudden picture is taken of every character, and Spike sends it to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, in reference to the show's main title).
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EPISODE 3:
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[shades closing]
[windows clattering]
Fluttershy: Fuzzy Legs, do tu think tu could secure those windows?
[webs shooting]
[windows close]
Fluttershy: And you'll alert me if anything scary comes close to the cottage?
[birds squawk]
Fluttershy: Oh, who am I kidding?... It's WHEN something scary comes close to the cottage! Please tell me my hiding place is ready.
Harry: [growls nicely]
Fluttershy: Oh, look, you've filled it with everything I need to survive this awful night. Thank you. Thank tu all! Now I don't have to step a hoof outside until this whole thing is over.
[bucket clattering]
Fluttershy: Oh, no! tu don't have any carrots? Do we have any other fresh veggies tu may enjoy?
Angel: [growls]
Fluttershy: o maybe some hay?
Angel: (growls)
Fluttershy: But that means I'll need to go out... on Nightmare Night?!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Granny Smith: tu ready for making this years haunted Maze even better than last years.
Master Sword: Any excuse to scare people is enough for me... (picks up hay, seeing someone hiding behind it). Fluutershy?
Granny Smith: What're tu doin' out and about? It's Nightmare Night, remember?
Fluttershy: How could I forget?... Oh, I don't suppose I could borrow a few pieces of heno, hay from you? I forgot to stock up on comida for Angel, and tu do seem to have quite a lot.
Granny Smith: Sword and I need that for our traditional Haunted Maze. [spooky voice] The scariest maze that there ever was. Who knows what lurks inside?
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm sure I don't.
Granny Smith: Is that a mummified poni, pony that just leaped out at ya?
Fluttershy: I don't know. Is it?
Master Sword: (plays along) yeah. And what's that crunchin' sound beneath yer hooves? Maybe it's the bones of ponies that didn't make it out alive!
Fluttershy: B-B-B-B-Bones?!
Master Sword: And are those peeled grapes o a thousand slimy eyeballs starin' at ya from beyond the grave?
Fluttershy: Please tell me they're grapes!
Granny Smith: Oh, I'll never tell. [spooky laugh).
Fluttershy: [frightened sobs]
Granny Smith: Huh. I wonder what got stuck in her craw?
Master Sword: Beats me.. Let's just get back.
Granny Smith: Remember.. No swearing this year.
Master Sword: I don't swear THAT much..
FLASHBACK:
Master Sword: (showing snake to high school students) And the most I know about this species is that i- (suddenly the bites his arm) AHH! FUCK!
Students: (turn quite)
Master Sword: (pulls the snake off angrily) GOD FUCKIN DAMN IT! Fuckin son of a, FUCK!
Audience: (gasps)
Master Sword: Oh, the fucking stupid-ass serpent BIT ME!
Principle: Mr Sword, please sto-
Master Sword: Oh, mermelada a lit sparkler up my asshole and then do sit-ups. lt hurts so bad!
Principle: Sir! Words like that are NOT allowed in this school!
Master Sword: (screaming) MOTHER FUCKER BIT ME!... (calmly) I.. I mean the snake bit me... I think I need a hospital.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
LATER:
Trixie: I can't believe I have to do one of those dumb magic acts today.. It's not even a nightmare night themed type of one!
Derpy: Hey.. Saten and I will be in stage as support..Right Sat-.. Saten?
Saten: (distracted) Oh look, their building the traditional haunted maze.. Can we go after?
Derpy: I don't know.. Each año tu wind up breaking Sword's nose when he tries scaring you.
Saten: ... I've been working on that, I saw a bunch of Jason Voorhee's cine as preparation for Nightmare Night.. Nothing he can do will scare m-
Master Sword: hola Saten..
Saten: (screams in fear snd accidentally bucks Sword in the stomach).
Master Sword: WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!?
Saten: Well don't sneak up on me like that!
Derpy: (sarcastically) Yeah, your gonna do FINE tonight Saten.
Master Sword (holding nose): tu guys coming to the Maze?
Trixie: Yes.. But not wait at this moment..
Master Sword: Well... Looking adelante, hacia adelante to tu guys being there.. Especially tu Derpy.
Derpy: Best not get romantic on Nightmare Night.. Ruins the mood of the night.
Master Sword: (chuckles) fair enough.. granny smith, smith de la abuela says I swear to much, and may need to tune that down a bit.
Trixie: Well, she's not wrong.
Derpy: Yeah.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Trixie: (finishes a perfamance).
Lyra Heartstring: (clapping) I've seen better.
BonBon: (clapping) We spent five dollars on this!?
Lyra: I paid ten!
Cloudkicker (happily): We liked her hat!
Saten (finds her backstage) They loved it honey.
Trxie: Good, I'm glad.
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Fluttershy: [spooky voice] Welcome to Fluttershy's té party!
arco iris Dash: Did she just say "tea party"?
Twilight Sparkle: It sounds like it's a scary té party?
arco iris Dash: [sighs]
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] Have a seat. Don't be scared of what awaits you. Go on. Pass the sugar. Oh, no! There is none! You're a terrible host!
AJ: (growls)
Rarity, put your capa on!
Rarity: Why would I do that?
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] tu need to cover up because no one has complimented your dressssssss!
Pinkie Pie, look to your left and ask your best friend to pass the cucumber sandwiches!
Pinkie Pie: Huh? I can't. There's nobody there.
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] That's right. Because she didn't care to mostrar uuuuuup.
Pinkie Pie: What?
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] A friend who didn't come through. That must scare tu to the coooore.
Quick, everybody, look behind you!
arco iris Dash: Uh, what are those?
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] They're unplanned guests. Your woooorst nightmare. tu don't have enough comida for them! Oh, no! There's a tiny kitten that needs a home! But tu are over-scheduled right now. tu don't have time to help! I said, "You don't have time to help!" This should appear to scare you! [normal voice] Why don't tu look terrified? tu showed up to a party and everypony was extremely disappointed in you. Can tu imagine anything más upsetting?
Rarity: It was a really good try, darling, but the scares at Nightmare Night are of an entirely different nature.
Twilight Sparkle: It was really creative, though. I never would have thought of... all this.
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm just not cut out for this. Just go on without me.
Rarity: Oh, no. We couldn't possibly.
Fluttershy: tu have to. This is the night tu look adelante, hacia adelante to all year.
Pinkie Pie: We could... stay here?
Fluttershy: It's okay. I really want tu all to have fun. This is how I spend every Nightmare Night. Please go. I'll be fine.
Pinkie Pie: Eh, it's funny. I actually thought she had an idea for something really scary for a segundo there.
Applejack: She definitely tried her hardest.
[door closes]
Fluttershy: I did try my hardest.
Angel: [thumping on table]
Fluttershy: Or... maybe not. I suppose I could have gone with something a bit scarier. You're right! I've been taking baby steps! I think it's time for grown up ones! I don't suppose tu have any ideas how I could do that?
Angel: [growls mischievously]
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LATER THAT SAME EVENING:
Saten: (still with Derpy and Trixie as they enter THE HAUNTED MAZE) Ahh.. Finally we get to go into the maze... No need to be scared Trixie.
Trixie: (is clearly unafraid) I'm not.
Saten: (ironically the one who's scared) Well.. remember it's all fake.
Derpy: Are tu okay cousin?
Saten: O -Of coarse I am.. I'm not scared.
Derpy: I didn't say that tu WERE.
Saten: Well good.. Because... I'm not.
Derpy and Trixie: (unconvinced) uh huh?
Sword: (sneaks up to Saten, successfully scaring him).
Saten: (panics and punches Sword in the nose).
Sword: (holding nose) AHHH! WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?
Derpy: Yeah, what gives Saten!?
Saten: I -It was a reflex.
Trixie: Reflex!?.. Well, sure, if in a mob town.
Saten: Look I'm sor-
Sword: (enraged) tu DO THIS EVERY YEAR!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Applejack: Everybody's linin' up for the maíz maze, y'all! Let's go!
Spike: Oh, yeah! I can't believe we're finally doin' this!
[horse whinnies]
All: [scream, laugh]
arco iris Dash: It's a good thing Fluttershy isn't here because she would never be able to handle this!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Applejack: tu out-nightmared the scariest part of the maíz maze!
Twilight Sparkle: How did tu do all this?!
Fluttershy: After tu left, I realized that I wasn't ready to give up on Nightmare Night. So I asked Sword if I could try to make the maze even scarier for my friends.
arco iris Dash: tu came up with all of this?
Fluttershy: I had some help. ángel was the scary figure that kept scurrying after tu in the maze. Fuzzy Legs made the sticky muro that made it difficult for tu to see and move. And, of course, Harry was the especially scary monster.
Harry: [growls happily]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow! That was inspired!
Pinkie Pie: tu have to do this every year!
Applejack: Uh-huh!
Rarity: Absolutely!
Twilight Sparkle: Every year!
arco iris Dash: Yeah!
Fluttershy: We could celebrate Nightmare Night
together every year. But the truth is I really don't
want to.
Pinkie Pie: tu don't?!
Rarity: But you've done it. tu found a way that we can all have a fabulous time together.
Fluttershy: Yes, but I've also realized something. tu all may amor Nightmare Night and I may be good at being a part of it, but it's no fun for me to see my friends feel like they're in danger, even if I know they're not. I really don't like it. It's just not my cup of tea.
Pinkie Pie: Spoooooooooky tea?
Fluttershy: No. Just regular tea. We do lots of fun things together, but I'm afraid this just isn't gonna be one of them. Actually, I'm not afraid. I'm perfectly fine with it.
Twilight Sparkle: Then we are, too.
Harry: [growls happily]
[bats squeaking]
Fluttershy: [sighs] I don't know why I doubted myself for a second. Now this is what I call a perfect Nightmare Night.
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EPISODE 4: (actually aseason 4 episode, but decide to skip it to season 3)..
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator: Way up in the mountains in a small little town, The Main calle was being decorated all up and down. People stood in long lines, sometimes waiting hours o more, Because navidad needs to be bought in a store.
But out in the forest, not too far away...
Nearby forest. Cute forest animales gather round and decorate a small pine tree.
Narrator: The little woodland critters were also preparing for their navidad Day.
Woodland Critters: It's almost time when the time is here, The time that's only once a year. We can hardly wait, 'cause it's so near. A Woodland Critter Christmas!
Narrator: The little critters worked hard as they happily sang, And each one of them had a quite interesting name. There was Squirrely the squirrel, Rabbity the rabbit, Beavery the beaver, and Beary the bear. Porcupiney the porcupine, Skunky the skunk, Foxy the fox, and Deery the deer. Woodpeckery the woodpecker, Mousey the mouse, and Chickadee-y the chickadee, all made the forest their house.
(wow, real orginal XD)
Narrator: And on that magical day, stumbling upon all of that, was our favorito! red pony.
Saten (drinks light beer, already had 4 before it, crossing forest to get to Trixie's new house in ponyville): Still better than I use to drink... (sees them) What the hell?
Rabbity: Well, hello there. Welcome to our forest.
Skunky: How do tu like our navidad tree?
Saten: I.. I really don't care.
Beavery: Why, it's the most perfect árbol in the forest! [the other cheer]
Saten (annoyed): I don't have time for thi-
Mousey: Oh no, I see a problem.
Deery: What is it, Mousey?
Mousey: Our navidad árbol doesn't have a star.
Critters: Awww.
Beary: We can't have a árbol with no estrella on it.
Saten (annoyed): Can't I ever just cruzar, cruz the forest in peace.
Rabbity: What are we gonna do?
Squirrely: Now don't be down, y'all. Maybe our new friend can help us find a star.
Critters [among other things]: Can tu really? Oh would tu please? Could tu help us?
Stan: Fine I'll get your stupid estrella if it means tu leaving me alone.
Critters: [cheering] Yay!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator: And so, using some paper and working with glee, the happy red Pegasus made a estrella for the tree. Smiling the whole time.
Saten: (not smiling) There, its done, can I go now?
Critters: Ohhhh!
Beary: It's the nicest estrella I ever saw.
Narrator: The little critters cheered and Beavery dicho with a smile...
Beavery (smiling): How would tu like to sing and dance with us for a while?
Narrator: Saten Twist smiled and said...
Stan [doesn't smile] Uh, no thanks, I'm gonna go. [turns around, and walks off]
Beavery: Goo- goodbye Twisty!
Critters: Goodbye, Saten! Bye! Cya!
Saten (to himself) (annoyed): Uhhh.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Saten finally arrives at Trixe's house.
Trixie: What took you?
Saten: I'll tell tu later.. cena, comedor ready?
Trixie: Sure..
-------------------------------------------------------------------
THE siguiente MORNING:
Saten and Trixie assumably had sex sense this is a más mature seres than the real MLP, though it only shows the aftermath, Trixie's hair messy. Though she looks a little disappointed.
Saten: ... I'm really sorry.
Trixie: No, tu were nervous. It's okay.
Saten: Lot on my mind.
Trixie: There were.. Parts.. I liked.
Saten: ... Good enough for me, I should use the bathroom.. (turns on lamp and sees the critters) AHHH!
Trixie (covers herself that much more): AHHH, WHAT!?
Saten (annoyed): Nothing, just those stupid critters again.
Narrator: His friends were all there! What a wonderful surprise! The little boy smiled with joy in his eyes!
Saten (annoyed): Guys! Get out my future wife is naked.. Well, she never wears clothes, but in the contant of this scene.. It's bad!
Trixie: ... Future wife.
Saten: Yeah, I see tu being m-
Rabbity: That's a hot girl Saten.
Saten (annoyed): Just get out!
Squirrely: But tu two aren't gonna believe what happened. It's the most magical navidad gift ever!
Trixie (also annoyed): I agree, just get out.
Skunky: Porcupiney is pregnant!
Saten (annoyed): We don't care!
Mousey: I deduce the ponies don't understand the seriousness of the fertilization.
Deery: Porcupiney is a virgin love-birds. Her conception was immaculate.
Foxy: She's gonna give birth to our Lord and Savior.
Trixie (sighs): Not this crap.
Porcupiney: It has been foretold unto me that I would give birth on navidad Day.
Mousey: So soon!
Skunky: How delightful!
Woodpeckery: Our souls are saved!
Chickadee-y: Finally the critters are gonna have a Savior of their very own, of their very own! [they all cheer]
Squirrely [hops onto Trixie's bed]: There's just one problem: We don't have a manger for our Savior to be born in.
Saten: (annoyed facepalm)
Critters: Awwww.
Beary: But we got to have a manger.
Rabbity: Can tu do it, Stan. Can tu build us a manger? Huh?
Critters: (Cheers)
Narrator: "Of course we will build tu a little manger!" Trixie cried, and she winked at the critters and leapt to their side!
Trixie (does none of that): ... Fine, if your leave us alone.
Saten: They won't, but screw it, we're up now. May as well do something.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The forest. Trixie has built the manger and is hammering the last few nails in place. Her hair white uncombed. It actually kinda pretty. In a unkempt kinda way. Saten stays in the back, smoking a jointas he's not needed. And feel "needs one"
Narrator: And out in the woods the boy steamed right ahead, making a place for the critter babe to lay its sweet head.
Trixie: (to Saten) Any más of those?
Saten: tu smoke?
Trixie: not til just now.
Saten: Good point (passes the joint to her and she uses it) May wanna take it slow. Your first time using it sense that hippy concierto tu went too.
Trixie: (coughs) Yeah.. Not my proudest memory.. (smokes more)
Rabbity: Gee whiz, if it isn't the nicest manger I ever saw.
Mousey: I deduce it shall serve as a perfectly suitable resting place, for the Son of our Lord.
Raccoony (tired): Does this mean we can go to sleep now?
Porcupiney: My son will have the nicest cama in all the forest.
Woodpeckery: Fit for a king!
Squirrely: This is going to be the best critter navidad ever!
Woodland Critters: It's almost time when the time is here,
The time that's only once a year.
We can hardly wait, 'cause it's so near -
Saten: [as they sing, pulling out new joint, Trixie keeps the other one and walks over to the critters] All right, we're going now. [He ambles off. A roar is heard nearby. All stop and look. The critters scream.]
Critters: The mountain lion! Hide! [They scatter, leaving the ponies to face the lion alone. The lion peers out from behind a tree, Saten, por instinct, sheilds Trixie).
Saten: Uhhh, Go away! Shoo! [The lion moves off and the critters return.]
Squirrely: Is it gone?
Saten: I think so.
Skunky [behind a low tree]: I'm not c-c-comin' out.
Foxy: Well, this is the end. The mountain lion obviously knows Porcupiney is pregnant, and he's gonna kill it again.
Trixie (throws away joint): Again?
Squirrely: Every navidad the mountain lion comes down and eats the virgin critter impregnated with the Son of our Lord.
Porcupiney: Oh dear, I'm so very afraid.
Beavery: [climbs onto a stump and sits up] Let's face it. The mountain lion will never let our Savior be born.
Critters: Awwww! [some of them sob]
Squirrely: Hey, we shouldn't be upset this Christmas. We've got Saten!
Raccoony: Of course! Saten can do anything! If he can build a manger, he can stop that mean ol' mountain lion!
Narrator: Of coarse I will! Saten cried with joy.
Saten (dryly) No.. (starts leaving, throwing away joint)
Trixie: Saten wait.. What if Fluttershy finds out we let them die. We're never hear the end of it.
Saten: ... Fine.
Porcupiney: navidad is saved! [the critters cheer] The camera looks up from the woods to a mountain in the distance. Dramatic música plays.
Trixie: (kisses his cheek) Come back to me alive.
Saten: In case I don't.. (kisses her on the lips for a whole minute, which is longer than tu think)
Saten: (pulls away and reluntantely flies up to the mountain)
Trixie: ... (picks up his joint) I'm gonna need this.
Rabbity: He'll be fine.
Trixie: If he doesn't.. Your be safer with the lion than from me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator: High up in the forest on a dark, craggy peak, the horrid mountain lion and preyed on the weak. For the critters to be saved, someone had to stop that nasty old cat...
Saten (annoyed as he flies up to mountain): Goddammit, this is fucking ridiculous!
Narrator: dicho the little red pony.
Saten (annoyed): Shut up.
Narrator: Killing a mountain lion was no easy task, But he thought of a plan, and he thought of it fast.
Saten (timidly infront of cave): G -Grrr! Grrr! Come on out! [The lion is heard roaring from inside the cave, and it roars. It approaches the entrance.] Come on, critter killer! Your days of slaughtering innocent little animales are over! Rawrrrrr! [Anticipating the lion's leap, he prepares his wings. The lion lunges at him, but Saten flies up in the air and out of the way, and the lion falls over the peak and onto its death below, at the cave entrance.]
Narrator: In a flash, it was over! A victorious blow! The mountain lion lay slain on the cold ground below.
Saten Twist flies down to check if it's really dead.
Saten: Huh, that wasn't so bad.
[three lion cubs approach the entrance]
Lion Cub 1: Mommy?
Saten: … Uh oh.
Lon cub 1: Mommy! [they rush up to her body] W... wake up, Mommy, wake up!
Lion Cub 2: Don't leave us, Mommy.
Saten: (stands there awkwardly as the cubs spot him) red pony, why?! Why did tu kill our mommy? Why?
Saten: [at a loss for words] I.. They said.. I… Critter Christmas.
(the cubs cry around the corpse).
Narrator: The tiny cubs all gathered together and cried, All alone in the world because their mother had died.
Saten: [turns away and squeezes his eyes shut): Aw, god-DAMMIT!
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The critters are still there. Trixie paces anxiously.
Porcupiney [feeling a kick]: Oooo.
Beary: tu all right, Lady Porcupiney?
Porcupiney: Oh yes, just felt a little kick is all.
Beavery: Well, it's been much too long now. Uh I'm afraid our helpful friend Stanny must be very dead.
Fox: Yep, the mountain lion probably swallowed him whole.
Trixie (sarcastically): Way to comfort me.
Rabbity: I guess that means our Savior is gonna be made into Savior stew.
Trixie: Guess that means I gotta kill tu (prepares horn)
Critters: Awwww.
Trixie: Shut up!
Chickadee-y: [flitting straight up into the air] Wait a minute, look! [the animales turn to see Saten approaching them, looking sad]
Trixie: (hugs him excitedly)
The critters gather in front of him.
Mousey: you're alive!
Beary: But, does that mean tu killed the mountain lion?
Saten (quitely): Yeah.. She's dead.
Deery: For real and for true?!
Beavery: Are tu sure?
Saten: I'm sure. It won't be hurting tu anymore.
Squirrely: He did it! Now our Critter navidad can finally happen! Hail Satan!
Critters: Hail Satan!
Saten: ... tu mean me right?
Beavery: You've done us a huge favor, ponies! Without the mountain lion around, the Lady Porcupiney can give birth to the Antichrist!
Critters: Yaaay! [they head over to the manger]
Saten: Wai-wait, the Antichrist? tu dicho she was giving birth to your savior!
Squirrely: Yeah, to the Son of our Lord, Satan, Prince of Darkness.
Saten: But we thought tu meant the Son of God!
Deery: Well, think about it: tu really think God would have sex with a porcupine?
Trixie: Sex wit- WHAT!?
Chickadee-y: No way! Only Satan, Prince of Darkness and King of all Evil would do that! Yay!
Saten: I knew this was a mistake.
Foxy: This just calls for a celebration! Let's sacrifice Rabbity and eat his flesh!
Saten: Wait what!?
Rabbity: Yay! Sacrifice me to the Devil!
The other critters cheer. As Beary pulls up a Satanic altar on a small wagon with a little help from Squirrely. The other animales bring Rabbity up to the altar. Rabbity is propped up on the altar and Beary tears him apart with a sacrificial blade.
Trixie: OH MY GOD!
The other animales crowd in, tear away pieces of the body, and eat them raw.
Chickadee-y: Drink his blood! Drink his blood!
Saten and Trixie are frozen in shock.
Squirrely: [jumps into a puddle of blood] Blood orgy!
Critters: Yay, blood orgy! Blood orgy, yay!
The critters drench themselves in Rabbity's blood and begin the orgy. Beavery mounts Raccoony, Skunky mounts Porcupiney, Mousey mounts foxy, and Beary mounts Deery. Squirrely hops onto Deery's left ear and mounts that. Chickadee-y and Woodpeckery start flitting around. In the background plays "Lucifers Hymm" during all this, starting from Rabbity's death.
Saten and Trixie stare at them, traumatized.
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Narrator: In the gentle forest clearing on navidad Eve morn, The little forest critters prepared for the Antichrist to be born. The noble mountain lion had stopped evil in all the years past, But now the good protector lay dead as the good owls amassed. And meanwhile, three lion cubs were crying away. For them, there would certainly be no navidad Day.
And all of this because of the little red pony, for killing a lion.
Saten is shown in his house, with his head buried into his arms at his escritorio in his room.
Saten: Uhhh.
Narrator: "I know!" Saten Twist dicho with a new happy grin, "I'll go back to the forest and speak with those critters again!"
Saten: [waves the narrator away and leaves his desk]
Narrator: He ran out the living room, turned out the light, and went back to the forest to set everything right!
Saten enters the living room, hops on the sofa, and turns on the TV.
TV: In west Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground, is where I spent most of my days.
Narrrator: (aham) And he went back to the forest to set everything right!
Angry look on his face, Saten turns the volume up to drown out the narrator.
Narrator: He tried to ignore the issue with TV, but his conscience caught up with him, and to the forest he did flee...
Saten: (turns it louder)
Narrator: He thought he could hide from his problems - not true! [Saten rolls his eyes] He knew in his corazón the thing he had to do!
Saten (annoyedly): Leave me alone!
Narrator: He knew that only por going to the forest could he -
Saten: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!.. GOD! [He turns off the TV, hops off the sofa and walks out the door, leaving the remote control on the floor.]
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The woodland critters continue decorating their árbol and also the manger Trixie made them.
Beavery: [looks around] Hey, look everyone! It's our old pal, Twisty. [the other critters turn and look, Saten flies over, Trixie behind him for backup.
Woodpeckery: Oh boy, buddy. tu came just in time!
Deery: Yeah. We've got a big problem. We ne-
Saten (holding hammer): Shut up! We're not doing tu anymore favors and I'm not letting tu give birth to the Antichrist! [walks off] I came here to put a stop to all this!
Beavery: To stop us?
Trixie: tu heard him.
Beary: But gee whiz Saten, if tu and your lady try to stop us, we'd have to use our evil Satanic powers on ya.
Saten: Right, whatever. [turns around readying hammer] I'm taking down the manger Trixie built. [Beary's eyes turn red and brighten. A muro of hellfire appears before Saten.] Ah! [The muro gets higher.] AAAH! [All the critters' eyes are flashing a bright red. Black crows swoop down and attack Stan.] AHH AHHHH! [A two-headed demon dog appears snarling at him; he runs off in terror, hiding behind Trixie who doesn't seem mind]
[The critters' eyes revert back to normal.]
Beary: Oh boy! Our Satanic powers sure did the trick!
Chickadee-y: Our powers get stronger every day! Get stronger every day!
Squirrely (goes over to them): Sorry ponies, but tu see, nothing can stop the birth of the Antichrist, except for a mountain lion.
Skunky: And tu got rid of her.
Critters: Yay!
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Fluttershy suddenly flies over, wearing a santa hat, cause it's christmas.
Beavery: Wow, look, it's that pegasus that kicked us out.
Raccoony: Let's eat his flesh!
Critters: Yaaay!
Fluttershy: What the hell is going on?
Trixie: It's Critter Christmas, girl! It sucks ass!
Fluttershy: What are tu guys doing?
Raccoony: We finally did it, Fluttershy! We're about to bring forth the Antichrist with help from our new friends.
Skunky: Death and pain await all living things. Yay!
Fluttershy: Saten!
Saten: I'm sorry, they tricked us.. I... I tried to stop them!
Fluttershy: Well don't worry, I know only one way to stop devil-worshiping critters! [She reaches behind her and whips out a sawed off pump-shotgun. She fires, and the parte superior, arriba half of Beavery's head is gone.]
Trixie: acebo SHIT!!
Critters: Aaaaah! [They scatter. Fluttershy fires again, and Deery goes down. Two más shots and the tops of Raccoony's and Skunky's heads come off.]
Saten: Yeah! Go Fluttershy!
Squirrely activates his demon power with the red glow from his eyes and a muro of hellfire appears before Fluttershy. Trixie fires a spell killing Squirrely.
Saten: Nice one.
Fluttershy continues firing at the remaining critters. Porcupiney is blown apart, then Foxy.
Beary (tries playing cute) Gee whiz, Fluttershy, you're not gonna kill me, are yo- [His head is blown off por her gun, and he goes down.]
Fluttershy (throws down gun and back to normal cute self): There.. They're dead.. We saved Christmas.. We get a wish.. Anything tu guys wanna wishful?
Saten [thinks]: Yeah.. There is.
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The lions' cave. Some magic revives the mother lion.
Mother Lion: Wha - Oh my, what happened?
Cubs: Mommy! (they hug her)
Saten (watching with the girls) [relieved]: Oh, good.
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Trixie: Man.. This was fucked up Christmas..
Saten: Yeah.. But still beat thanksgiving with Derpy's crazy booyfriend.
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Master Sword: I've been waiting for this all year.. (pulls out the turkey) Giving tu people the bird.
Saten: Oh.. (hand goes to the turkey) Looks so go- AH! SHIT!
Sword: (stabbed the hand with large fork) Neh uh.. Not til we say grace.