I Believe...Just Like a Child 

The Conspiracy against God is about "The Word", and the profaning of His Holy Name within us. Adam fell in the garden, breaking the direct connection to God. Jesus, the "last Adam" was a quickening Spirit, the Word made Flesh, and the only one with whom we can re-establish our relationship with God. Michael\'s story is still unfolding. He is the one who is, is not. But Jesus is the only name given under heaven by which we must be saved. Many are trying to rewrite HIStory. We were given a help to instruct us. Learn more "here".

August 15, 2010 – I Believe . . . Just Like a Child

"When I see children, I see the face of God. That\'s why I love them so much. That\'s what I see." – Michael Jackson, 2003 60 Minutes with Ed Bradley

Baby Michael - We see the face of God. That\'s why we love him so much. That\'s what we see....

One of the biggest lessons I have learned in the last one year and almost 14 months is the statement I just typed above.

Since this is Sunday, and since I did NOT go to church today, I wanted to put something up that was inspirational. Something to remind us just who created this earth, and who’s in control of it.

2 Kings 5:14: - “So he went down and dipped seven times in the Jordan, according to the saying of the man of God; and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.”

Matthew 18:5 – “ Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.”

Matthew 18:3 – “ and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Please take the time to watch this video all the way through. I dedicated this to Michael and his love for God yesterday on facebook when I posted it. When you get to 4:56 minutes in the video listen carefully. It is right at the scene where the panda is cradling her cub. The chorus sings “I believe . . .” And a very quiet whisper says “Just like a child”. I Believe

As you are watching this video, remember who is really in control. It is not the bad guys, it’s not Branca, it’s not Bandier, it’s not the press, it’s not even world governments or mankind. It’s God.

Michael without makeup, battling Vitiligo. A walking Testimony to the very message he delivered.

I remember a dream I had back last year. I was in Israel and I was standing in the streets of Jerusalem in among throngs of people. The streets were crowded, everyone was waiting for something.

I was talking to two Jewish gentlemen about the state of affairs in the U.S. with the imploding economy, joblessness and what looks like our current government’s willingness to turn toward socialism to try to head off another depression.

One of them replied, “I don’t think it’s going to get much worse before it gets better. Christ’s coming is close, but you will see a period of renewed prosperity before he returns.”

“What makes you say that?” I asked. “The housing market is dead, my husband lost his job so we’re resolved to just start a business. I want to go into real estate, but . . . should I? I mean, “The other Jewish guy cut me off.

The one with the longer hair replied, “The U.S. is getting bad and the economy seems without hope, but things will turn around. The U.S. will not be destroyed before his coming. There won’t be time for the U.S. to become a socialist government.”

“Don’t stop doing what you are doing, because that is what you are supposed to do. You keep doing what you are doing. Know and keep your eyes open for what is coming, but don’t lose heart just because of the symptoms. The symptoms are actually helping fight the disease . . .”

There was more to this dream but I wanted to stop here to focus on what this man said to me. “Don’t lose heart because of the symptoms, the symptoms are actually helping fight the disease . . .”

That was the one sentence that stuck in my head when I woke up from that dream. We can’t see the forest through the trees. When we are facing adversity, we don’t see what is on the other side. We are unaware that there is something bigger at work beyond the adversity. The adversity is an incident that is needed in a chain of events to bring about the final purpose. We can apply this in our own lives, we can apply it to what is going on even with the case of Michael.

"...Look, we don’t have control over the grounds, they can shake. We don’t have control over the seas, they can have tsunamis. We don’t have control over the skies, there are storms. We’re all in God’s hands. I think that man has to take that into consideration." - Michael Jackson in his 2007 Ebony Magazine interview

"I really believe that God chooses people to do certain things, the way Michelangelo or Leonardo da Vinci or Mozart or Muhammad Ali or Martin Luther King is chosen. And that is their mission to do that thing. And I think that I haven\'t scratched the surface yet of what my real purpose is for being here..." Michael Jackson - Ebony/JET Interview, 2002

He also said in 2005 after praying with family and friends during one of the last days of his trial, before the verdict:

"It is written in the books for me . . . I have done my part. Now God will be their judge."

I have been asked about my beliefs that Colony Capital or Tom Barrack is innocent. I have been asked for links referencing the innocence of Anschutz and his corporation, or of Tohme’s innocence. The evidence I do have I have already posted in previous blogs including some of the business reorganizations Colony helped Michael through. Source, and here, and here.

Other than the business forensics which some I cannot put up at all are the connecting comments and just listening to people. The hardest thing to do is to separate what someone says in an interview with the way the press has pre-established what that information means. I cannot cross every “T” and dot every “I” because I would then be guilty of pre-establishing that information too. I have tried to follow three rules in starting the research part of this blog.

1. Stick as close to Michael as possible when looking for the truth.

2. Separate the statements from the press’s interpretation of them

3. Listen to what is NOT being said as much as what is being said.

I should add a fourth, and that is to keep my faith. Sometimes you just know it’s right when you see it.

Michael said during his documentary with the awful Bashir:

"....I love to do things for children and I try to imitate Jesus. And no, I am not saying I am Jesus, I\'m not saying that.... I\'m trying to imitate Jesus in the fact that he said to be like children, to love children, to be as pure as children, and to make yourself as innocent and to see the world through eyes of wonderment and the whole magical quality of it all and I love that. And we\'ll have like a hundred bald headed children, they all have cancer, and they\'re all running around. And they are enjoying themselves and it makes me cry happy tears that I was able to do this for them, you know. (It) makes me so pleased inside."

For me, this is probably the part of Michael that hooked me. It was that very first interview that I listened to when I embarked on getting to know him. Then in interview after interview that I watched, he talked about Jesus and children, and “child-like” and “that kind of innocence” in every one, only to have these journalists come back and turn it into something dirty with, “But aren’t you worried what people will think?” Interview after interview I sat and watched him trying to explain to these journalists the value of innocence and what Christ was trying to tell us when he said:

Mark 10: 13 – 16 – “13 Then they brought little children to Him, that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. 14 But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. 15 Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” 16 And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them.”

The strength of Michael’s faith evidenced in this quote from him during another part of the Bashir Interview:

"With just a little love and a little caring, I have seen kids totally turn around. Where you can\'t find any cancer at all anymore in their body. I\'ve done it a lot of times. I\'m not trying to say I\'m Jesus Christ. We should just give a little more attention to the power of love and caring and faith and prayer." – Michael Jackson, 2003 Bashir Interview

Further back in the beginning of writing this whole blog, I was so distraught over Michael and what was going on. I needed to understand just why I was suddenly engulfed in Michael’s pain and the need to defend and protect who he was that I prayed. The prayer started out as a prayer for me and my feelings and begging God to just help me cut him loose. I did not understand why I could not let go of someone I had never met and didn’t pay much attention to until June 25th of last year. The prayer turned into a prayer for Michael. I talked about it way back in January of 2010 leading up to it here and here.

The “air-kiss” is something that I cannot forget because that was my reassurance that God does not leave his servants in the dust. That kiss told me that wherever Michael was, he was okay, that God DID NOT leave him, and that despite what we will witness until then, to keep the faith, because justice will not be far behind.

I have to keep going back to what was said both in the Bible and by Michael, of having the faith of a child. To get rid of the things the world trains you to believe as you grow up, get beaten down, told you cannot do certain things because . . . well, just because THEY don’t find it fitting. Truth is in God’s word, not the ever-changing opinions of society and the world. Truth is in "that kind of innocence". The gifts that God gave you are still there. Locked up in the same room with the child you put away the last time someone told you to “grow up.”

I too have always been afraid. I wasn’t afraid of singing in front of people, or drawing pictures and giving them to people or writing and letting people read or critique it. I wasn’t afraid of that. I was afraid of people knowing me. I was afraid of opening up to people and showing them who I really was. From an early age I learned that I had to protect myself and shelter my soul and bury my emotions from cruel people. I started life as an old lady. I was always looking for innocence . . . always. I just didn’t know how to identify what it was I was looking for, because it was taken from me at such an early age. I never expected, out of all this in the past 14 months, that I would learn that I aspired to be a child. And if it wasn’t for Michael showing me through his trials how important that was to be close to God, I might still be living under the delusion that my potential had long passed.

I am crying as I am writing this, because I know where I was. I know that there will still be those who will not understand this. It is a fearful thing to step out after being sheltered for so long in the comfort of self-preservation. I don’t want to be preserved . . . that is for the dead. I quite prefer being alive, in the sun, breathing . . . right where God kept trying to get me to go all these years.

“I know you were hurt . . . I know you are afraid,” he seemed to say to me, “But if you don’t come out into the fresh air, how are your wounds ever going to heal?” And God sent me to another wounded child my way to hold my hand through the process of opening up. That\'s what it took to finally get through to me.

Matthew 10:21 - “Now brother will deliver up brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death.”

This is what happened to Michael. Children he befriended, helped heal both emotionally and physically, rose up against him. Those children in the world, all of them out there, that Michael tried to show, through example, what God was trying to tell us but we got away from. Michael tried to show us what we’ve been looking for, but couldn’t identify. That is why I believe he was here.

“Frank, you have to understand . . . this is our job. This is what we do. Not the stuff on stage. THIS is our job . . .” Michael said to Frank DeLeo as he was crying during a children’s hospital visit when he said during an interview that after seeing dying children perk up happily with Michael there, that he “just couldn’t take it”.

When you open that heart and invite Jesus into it, this is the beauty that replaces it.

God has not forsaken Michael and he will not forsake you. Am I as positive that Colony and Anschutz are innocent of killing Michael? No, I’m not AS sure. But I do know that there were people helping Michael and of all the players in this event that would try to help him, I believe they are the most likely to have been the ones helping him.

"I avoid using the term \'religion\', because many people say \'my religion\' this and \'my religion\' that. Why should it be \'my\' religion? I just believe what’s in the Bible with regard to which religion is involved. I simply believe.... I believe in it and I get down on my knees every night and thank God and ask Him to lead the way."

Michael Jackson - 1979 Ebony Magazine interview

“Don’t lose heart because of the symptoms, the symptoms are actually helping fight the disease . . .”

Labels: childlike, children, God, Innocence, Jesus, John Branca, love, martin bandier, Michael Jackson

Bonnie, I gained such comfort and personal strength from reading this tonight. Bless you, my wonderful friend! Michael would love you so much if he could see this! He not only guided you to the path of your childhood salvation, but to mine as well. As we got closer to Michael, we developed a better understanding of our own fears. Through his pain, strength and courage to endure, I learned just as Michael learned, that the little girl who lives inside you and me was never ruined - she was robbed! Both words are devastating, but the word "ruined" imposes an undeserved stigma on the victim, while "robbed" rightfully places the blame squarely on the thief! Michael "gave back" what we never lost, but thought was gone forever. A child doesn't really lose what they have not given up voluntarily, do they? I love knowing we share something sacred with Michael, having survived similar pain. With Michael's love, we found the little girl - in our heart, just as Michael saved the little boy despite his brutal childhood. Bonnie, Michael showed us the way! He opened our heart to a love so pure and beautiful - a love I don't think we could ever have known had we not taken this path of discovery with him. I would give anything to touch the face of this angel and thank him for his wisdom and precious heart. And I haven't given up on that hope yet! Michael's smiling expression in the second image is heavenly. He is so beautiful, isn't he? Now I am crying. Bonnie, your blog is a gift in itself, and tonight's commentary was very special. Thank you for sharing it with us. Love you!

what a sweet, touching, precious moment you have shared with us here. Thank you so much, for what you do for Michael - because in "helping" him you are also giving us hope and a lot of love. I truly believe that everyone who has been experiencing this connection with him over the last year - has been feeling it for some reason. But then it takes some faith and love to be able to identify what that special reason may be. I am so glad you have been willing to let this happen to you, if you know what I mean.

Bonnie, thank you for sharing some of you with all of us. I think that you have found that the more you share yourself and your pain, the more you help others and yourself. Every time darkness is exposed to light some of the soul destrying pain is burned off.

I have found that Michael had much to say, easily understood, if you really listened. I listen. You are right, some informantion is not written in bold print claiming "HERE I AM". Snippets of information is hidden within dis-informantion. Some informantion is gleaned in what is not being said.

What a wonderful uplifting post, thank you for sharing Bonnie!

I have lived most of my life trying to be an example and I know how people take advantage rather than follow. I try to adhere to certain principles such as treat others how you wish to be treated. Seldom do others treat me how I treat them. Instead they stomp upon and take advantage, assume, judge and don't reciprocate. My own family is the worst for that. I have a large family, but I have none but my children. I understand in a minor way the selfishness Michael experienced in return for goodness.

I don't always come across like that in writing online, it's more difficult when people can't see facial expressions, voice inflections or gestures.

Something about Michael did heal children. This is the kind of healing we as spiritual beings are all capable of. I truly believe that and that somewhere in the "progressions" of society we have lost touch with our God-given abilities. Michael didn't lose touch and still had a lot to teach us. Or maybe it really is all there, he left us the knowledge by example and it is encompassed in pure LOVE.

Thank you Bonnie for this reminder. Since Michael died and in doing my research to what happened to him, I have been feeling let down, disappointed, and actually kind of afraid. Even though Sony and everyone else behind is death will seem to get away with this for a while, they won't get away with it forever. One day they will fall. I just wish they would be exposed sooner then later.

As far as Colony Capital and their innocence, I've read what you have wrote about them, but you can never be so sure. I' not saying they are guilty, but there were A LOT of bad people around Michael, and frankly I just don't trust anyone that was around him. Its very hard to pick out the good guys from the bad guys, because there were A LOT of bad guys. If they were on Michael's side, thats great he actually had someone that cared, but its really hard to believe they cared without having an agenda. Someone always has an agenda.

Bonnie – thank you sharing what draw you to Michael, and that is so beautiful. I really appreciate explaining who he truly is deep within his being. Beside he is a musical genius, he is affectionate, loving, and caring to all human beings indiscriminate of ethnic background, color, and religion.

This was a tearful blog to write. You want to be able to heal someone that healed you and you can't because he's not here. It's like putting your hand out to take someone's hand and finding there was nothing there than the ghost of what you wish you did.

Micheline, I know you almost as well as I know my own sister (probably better now) and we share some similar pains.

Simo, Did you know that when you first open your heart, it hurts? You almost have to keep practicing until you perfect it. It helps when you have a mentor to show you how to do it. God just got sick of waiting for me so he grabbed my head, turned it toward Michael and said, "I know you care". He made me look. Now I know what my heart is supposed to do to love others. It's a whole or nothing. And wow, what that feels like! Thank you God!

jomc, You are so right! Michael was very easy to get to know. Pealing off the layers of indifference helps you to see much better the things you thought you were looking at before. He was such an interesting person. If I ever had a chance to meet him, I think one of the things I would most like to do is talk to him about God. I LOVED his writings about God.

Truthbtold - Something about Michael healed everyone. I remember a story I read once about children with downs syndrome and other neurological disorders taking experimental therapy with dolphins. The dolphins seemed to "see" that these children were different. They didn't know if it was their sonar but they could detect the frailty of them. The children in turn seemed to respond to the dolphins and their activity and well being increased, almost as if the sonar had some vibrating or healing effect on the children. The children that could no longer afford to take part in the therapy saw a steady decline in functionality.

Maybe Michael had something like that. I believe people are given gifts like that by God and he expects them to use those gifts.

Michaelmagic - You share my impatience with justice. God knows me . . . and he knows I have no patience. Maybe this is one of those lessons for me. On Colony, I know. It is hard not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. All I can tell you on that is wait and see. I'm not going to bother changing anyone's minds at this point. I am going to ask you all to pray for Michael and his family and for Justice. Like someone previously said, the truth will come floating to the top. Of that I do have unwavering faith. Just keep praying. I don't know why but I feel what is going on means more than we know.

Mesrak - I think all of you have a story similar to mine in how and why you got to know Michael. I would like to hear yours! Here! What he taught you!

One of his quotes above, where he said he feels he hasn't scratched the surface yet of his real purpose for being here . . . I think we are going to find out. :o)

I may know why and I may not understand why I took a break from everything Michael.

but what I do know is that I have been so angry lately and so lost. I have been waiting for that moment where misery dissipates and the darkness is revealed by light. I was helpless and hopeless,I could not even reach out.I was silenced and enveloped by ghosts of my past. worst,I allowed this to happen to myself.

I needed to read this blog post and I need this cry.

I started life as an old lady. WOW,can I relate to this sentence!

I mean I could intellectualize this but I could never place my feelings. but you just did for me.

I know that there will still be those who will not understand this. It is a fearful thing to step out after being sheltered for so long in the comfort of self-preservation. I don’t want to be preserved . . . that is for the dead. I quite prefer being alive, in the sun, breathing . . . right where God kept trying to get me to go all these years.

Then you write this and I just wanna fall to pieces...I want to unload what's been buried deep in my core.

I started creating again and I started having fun again. but as I would create,I heard a voice in my head.It was a familiar voice...a cold and paralyzing voice. Indeed, I knew this voice it wasn't a nightmare my brain tried to erase from my memory so I could live.It was real. It was devastating and it killed me. I was a walking,functioning,dead person.A shell of a person all my life.

The voice asked,"what are you doing... You actually think you can do this...You have no talent,didn't I tell you you were a worthless piece of crap?" "No one will buy your art because you are mediocre... everything you do is mediocre. You are ugly,stupid,and you cant do anything right." "You're a failure,a loser!"

Everyday, I would attempt to create that voice would get stronger. Till it broke me,again. I would battle it saying Michael's words just as I did when I was 5 years old. I would imagine Michael saying," yes,you can.I believe in you! now you believe in you! No one can hurt you now because you know its true!" but because I let Michael go recently convincing myself that he too was weak and gave no merit to his words. look at his life,Grace I would battle within myself.I became so hurt. I would read TINI and see rage for MJ's family that it made me feel so alone. again. People for and against new music... I cant even PROCESS that he's gone. I haven't said good-bye and now I have to take a stand...

Thank you for your deeply heartfelt words. You're clearly on a profound journey here. I wonder where it will ultimately take you? A rhetorical question I'm sure you can't answer yet.

P.s - for clarity,I know he was not married but I said that to make an example.

The first picture you posted brings back awful memories of 5 years ago...memories re-ignited when Conrad Murray (I'm sorry, I can't call him a doctor) was "brought" in and ultimately charged with involuntary manslaughter (slap on the wrist essentially) WITHOUT handcuffs. I don't know what is concidered normal precedure in these cases but I think we can all agree that 5 years ago Sneddon, playing the part of judge and jury, wanted Michael to be publically humiliated and wanted him to look like a criminal by bringing him in that way. Even though he was not a flight risk, he was not violent, he was not unstable. He was cooperative and did what was asked of him! He was treated like a common criminal while Murray has been treated with kid gloves?? Intellectually I somewhat understand the politics behind it, but I also know it stinks and is unjust. A perfect example of how justice and politics are and always will be oxymorons!

I have a question on a sensitive subject. Bonnie's very meaningful and beautifully written post brought a concern to mind. Michael was a charismatic, often soft spoken, deeply feeling and deeply caring person. Outside of his gifts as an entertainer, he had a gift of connecting with people, especially children, on a very personal level. We all know that, nothing new there...:-) I've always been drawn to this quality in him. To put this as gently as possible, I sometimes fear that it can be too easy to place such a person on an unrealistically high pedestal and to perhaps even worship that person in a way that should be reserved for Jesus only. Causing that person to attain a very unreal quality. Of course, Michael was very real, and wonderfully human.

A favorite, very human story for me is one that Quincy Jones told when he worked with Michael on "The Wiz." Michael, only 19 at the time, had a line where he quotes Socrates, but he pronounces the name wrong. Quincy gently corrects him. No big deal but something delightfully human.

Another story, forgive me that I don't have all the details, is when he took his eldest son to a studio where he was doing some work. The boy was very young at the time and spilled his popcorn on the ground. Very normal kid thing to do...:-) The producer that Michael was working with started to clean up the popcorn when Michael insisted that he would do it because he was responsible for his son's messes. The producer, whose name I can't recall right now, stood speechless as he watched Michael, on his hands and knees, gently scooping up his son's spilled popcorn. I LOVE this simple story and it always makes me emotional. It really demonstrated Michael's lack of arrogance and lack of ego. A real dad taking responsibility for and gently dealing with his young son's issue.

I like to remember these stories to remind me that Michael was a very special HUMAN being. You wrote a very beautiful post so please know that I mean no offense.

Grace - First, I am so happy to see you back and maybe there was a reason I was moved to post this . . . and you needed it. I know what I described above I NEEDED. A closed heart receives no love when it knows not how to give it.

Pain keeps us in shield from further hurt. This is what we must give to Christ if we are to follow him and enter into Heaven with him and I believe in part, this is what Michael was trying to convey in his constant mentioning of Children and Christ.

In reading some of Michael's writings, I got the feeling that Michael, whom many thought was naive and too trusting . . . he was, but I also got the impression that Michael hated the idea of saddling someone with the sins of others, hence he gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. You started out with a clean slate with Michael and so many took advantage of that. In the beginning of this, I didn't understand why he left himself open, but now I do understand.

Grace - guilt kills us. You don't have to harbor it. That is what Christ died for. Talk to Him about it. I have faith that Michael is okay and I know that God will not let Michael down.

SandyK - I'm not offended at all. I know the way talk goes on here sometimes it sounds like hero-worship or "the Messiah Complex" with Michael but we know Michael is a human being with faults like anyone else. I just look at him as an example of someone I would like to emulate in my desire to be Christ-like, and I have not found anyone even close in my generation. Michael is as close as I have seen in his conduct, his behavior and his compassion for other people. He's an example I would like to follow.

Aside from that, he still deserves and should get justice for what they did to him.

"SandyK - I'm not offended at all. I know the way talk goes on here sometimes it sounds like hero-worship or "the Messiah Complex" with Michael but we know Michael is a human being with faults like anyone else. I just look at him as an example of someone I would like to emulate in my desire to be Christ-like, and I have not found anyone even close in my generation. Michael is as close as I have seen in his conduct, his behavior and his compassion for other people. He's an example I would like to follow."

Thank you for your reply Bonnie, I'm glad that you said this! This is an important clarification.

sorry for over-posting! I swear I can write and have been to college! ugh! LOL! I truly have a overly excited brain these days! :)

Hello Bonnie, Thank you for such a beautiful and heartfelt post.

and very emotional and special thank you for sharing this with us

Much Much Love to Michael in Heaven and to you for posting this heart felt post

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We are living in Biblically significant Times. Ironically it was the most persecuted man in modern history that lead me to dig deeper into the Bible and taught me more about God than any other human being on the planet. And that man is Michael Jackson. I started a blog to defend him. I ended up researching him and learned just why they were after him. They did everything they could to shut him down. In the song "Cry" he said "take over for me", so that is what I am doing. God bless that man and his faith and strength

"Like the Bible says. A child should be leader of them all, and to be led by that kind of innocence. Didn\'t Jesus say \'bring on the children?\' Be like the children. Not childish, but child-like. That kind of innocence."

"Children show me in their playful smiles the divine in everyone. This simple goodness shines straight from their hearts and only asks to be lived." Michael Jackson Oprah Winfrey Interview