"there's not a damn thing that i do on my own thats not for my fans o for people that have supported me. So i don't really care about my agenda, I wanna be on yours."
"please don't kill me, im nice."
"i feel like an asshole because i don't have a picture of you."
"so i have an EP out called "Human" and its very short and its very small and its very sweet. Like me."
"i don't care if you're gay, straight, purple, orange, dinosaur..."
"magical"
"this nifty little buckaroo"
"mosey along with our wacky adventure"
"time to call another human being... well lets hope its a human being... id be really amused if it was a cat, but then the conversation probably wouldn't be as stimulating"
"hey grace tu put your number on the internet and now weirdos are calling you... lesson learned!"
"I'm darren, i like beaches, sushi, and small animales who are nice"
"i like evil characters too because they're not real evil, theyre fake evil which is the best kind of evil so thats cool"
"sillyness"
"applesauce... i amor that cuz applesauce is delicious"
"this thing has way más fun things"
"that song was really good i didn't expect it to be as cool as it was"
"geez! That's really morose!"
"no birthday to tu man"
"what is on my walls... which is a really great name cuz i don't know what the heck is on my walls most of the time, except for the cupcakes i throw at em"
"YOU DON'T SOUND INTERNATIONAL!!"
"You have a few things to say to me? well thats very convenient cuz were on the phone"
"although i don't endorse any kind of fighting.. make it a very civilized battle, like battleship! maybe tu guys could have a battleship war, not with real battleships, but with like the game, por mattell!"
"molly, i don't know what you're on now, but thats the most absurd thing ive ever heard in my life"
"don't tu worry your beautiful little heads"
"im just as goofy and crazy as i was before if not más insane."
"and if i ever do stray away feel free to find me and kick me in the shins."
"go get some pescado and chips, tell somebody cheerio, and if tu find a guy who looks like a chimmney sweeper, say ello govner!"
"thats a blessing"
"i could hug the camera... can i hug the camera? cool im gunna hug all of you"
"hopefully tu can feel the warmth of my body"
"i'll see ya via the tv... what?"
"i'd like to think they were all romantic! i"m not just some floozy! please!"
"should the man always make the first move? I assume tu mean in chess right? cuz that only works if you're on the black side."
"i wish i lived in the future where we have teleporters.. and 1000 years in the future after the robots take us over, we can teleport pizza into livestream, note to self in 1000 years... teleport pizza"
"Darren doesn't know"
"ha! spotter!"
"my inarticulacy is comming about because it seems so obvious that tu would support each other in this small world and life we lead"
"what makes tu different is what makes tu strong"
"lest we forget! *plays polka music* YEAH!"
"you guys don't know this, but there is 1000 people behind tu right now... behind the camera... that are all like, pointing spears at me making sure i do everything correctly... im actually chained to this chair right now.. i can't leave and if i don't do this correctly they wont feed me!"
"*plays polka música and choked laugh* i amor that song!! thats so funny!"
"clearly this wasn't very planned... but neither is half the things i do..."
"lets summon the interwebs"
"did i already mention this is the biggest mostrar i've ever played? cuz this is the biggest mostrar i've ever played. so huzzah on both accounts!"
"where'd that capo go? oh its over here... nice... hahaha"
"that didnt help me at all that just confused me more"
"you guys are my teenage dream"
"
"I don't know what that means... so you're saying tu can vote? cool... maybe we can vote together sometime."
"There is nothing más badass than being yourself"
"did someone say Darren Criss?"
"i create music"
"Blaine has recently been bitten por a radio-active turtle"
"Then i'll get 'em right where i want 'em! SUPRISE!"
"I'm using soap, now im using the shampooooooooo"
"Like i really carry my guitarra wherever i go..."
"well, with that attitude of course, lets do it!"
"HUZAH!!"
"If he's gonna go, he's gotta be hit por like... a dragon."
"i don't wanna see ANY of tu hanging out with that dryer.. that is a bad, BAD dryer."
"All my aunts in the Phillipines, they look at me and say 'Darreeeeeen! tu so thin! Eat!'"
"I hope their comida is as delicious as they are cool."
"No, that'd be very strange... I'd have to kick my own ass"
"Then on Mars they start a glee club. The first intergalactic glee club!"
"I'm like a bum, A BUM! oh my god, tu guys are interviewing A BUM!"
"OH MAN!"
"My album, is the kind of música tu can be friends with."
"its BEAUTIFUL!"
"Well, everyone's a little crazy!"
"WHAT THE HELL RIGHT?!?"
"Ideally, i'd amor to have my cake and eat it too... Ideally id amor to have that piece of cake right now..."
"My biggest fear? My biggest fear would be turning into an inanimate object."
"Yeah, there has been alot of changes in my life since I started glee...I bought a new sweater..."
"What can tu expect from me in the siguiente five years? Well... I'll get older"
"I have a very regimented schedual of sleeping... alot..."
"No one has tried to ... stab me... Thats cool... I plan on not being stabbed."
"Thats a cool thing, not being stabbed."
"In glee, there's alot of amazing things... and they have nothing to do with me... so they can give me anything and id be like 'yayyyy i get a song!'"
"They are just peachy! I think theyre fabulous!"
"TOTALLY AWESOME!"
"I just wanna hold him in my arms and be like its cool baby baby baby."
"If i meet dan tonight i think my head is going to explode... so i should probably try to avoid him cuz i like the fact that my head is not exploding."
"bleeding from the ears"
"i've made a fool of myself alot... tu know... like spilled things and dropped things around cool people."
"LIFE IS GOOD!"
"This is a terrible, terrible mistake"
"someone really screwed up and let my nutty culo in here."
"yup, just the clothes, the shades, and my silly, silly body underneath it."
"I was just trying to not screw it up"
"Yeah, we're weird on like... nine levels..."
"i never thought in A MILLION YEARS..."
"I'm on nube nine.. i wouldn't even say nube nine... más like nube ten... nube nine was old news."
"yeah its like a wakeup call, tu get up and are rubbing your eyes like 'what?!'"
"no! NO MAN!"
"huh... i don't know... i have no idea"
"This episode we finally did someting everyone was waiting for... A SONG por hola MONDAY!"
"you can't see más than a foot in front of you"
"i was throwing pinecones.. pinecones... wake up ya know?"
"this is the most crazy romantic thing ive ever done in my life this is going to be amazing we're gunna run off and amor each other forever and ever until we DIE!"
"to the door."
"and WE HUGGED! and in the 8th grade a hug is like... all kinds of amor explosions."
"No man! Im the weird one! I play a fake Harry Potter in a musical we took time to make, we have a musical called Me and My Dick!"
"Its a musical virgin... VERSION!"
"HUNKASAURUS REX!"
"I just know my soup."
"THIS IS WAR!"
"Just to make it special"
"well thats what tu missed... ON GLEE!!!"
"Buying my album is the only way that tu can prevent death because aliens are going to come to this earth and destroy us. I am sure of this."
"I do have a reoccuring dream...I was at this place where the band sounds exactly like my alarm clock.. its all AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! and i'm like MAN THIS BAND ROCKS!!! and then i wake up an hora later and realize im late for glee...."
"Blaine is running off to argentina to start a zoo."
"Blaine then is hanging out with rambo and moves to mars."
"its the secret to my power."
"no, i'd never shave my eyebrows.... cuz then i'd look like an alien... which would be terrifying..."
"I would say yes, joey has a girlfriend... and she's a nine foot tarántula with 100 legs and her eyes are made of lasers... and if anyone was to try to kill her they would perish."
"I had to kill alot of people..."
"I would want a glee light saber just to cut my meat."
"I'm pretty sure she specially designed that herself.. just for me.."
"I'm positive thats what happened... I'm sure of this... its true... its the most logical explanation."
"take a blow torch and spray it on the walls."
"He's just saying that cuz my feet are up on the desk"
"My big... sorta... hobbit hair.. tu couldve found certain species that could cure cancer in there."
"Im a short little hobbit... hobbit-ish."
"basically i'm just being a goofball"
"I like naranja and blue together... but i would never wear em... and i think green is great for the planet."
"I've always been the annoying kid who sang."
"i'm just some dude.. im some guy eating comida on the street."
"people are always like... is it creepy that im messaging you? and i'm like no man!... im the weird one..."
"Thats weird man..."
"I'm just such a quirky weirdo."
"did someone say a song?"
"Whats this? a guitar?"
"my gay friends are all like 'no no... he cant be bi o straight...'"
"first of all, democracy, IS COOL!"
"I'm not into labels man."
"I'd be the worst president in the united states... unless tu want the apocalypse to happen really soon... then i'll run for president."
"I kinda walk in when i feel like it... peaceout... get a sandwich.. nap..."
"I think i have a degree in acting.."
"Oh snow! how delightful! What a good time to study por a fire...side."
"wars would stop if we just had every world conflict sit down and have palomitas de maiz, palomitas de maíz and have a sleepover and watch the entire thing of that show... we'd all get along and it would be beautiful."
"its all connected!
"WWEIRD MAN!"
"ABSOLUTELY!"
"EVIDENTLY"
"check it out"
"shenanogans"
"oh yeah, oh yeah"
"i just blew your mind."
"your welcome, your welcome ive planned it for years."
"i'd choose the world to be in pink... it would be really funny... then mean people wouldn't seem so mean..."
"ENGAGE!"
"how very apropros."
"lest we forget"
"there is an implicit connoctation of those songs that just bleeds innocence"
"its all contextual"
"if thats any indication of how much i like alladdin... manzana, apple just freaked out of my mouth"
"private fancy"
"don't stab darren"
"*choked up giggle* I amor that song! it's so funny!"
"i don't know whats on my walls... except for the cupcakes i throw at them."
"thats why my nails are so colorful, because of coachella, and i have various other colorful things... which tu may o may not see..."
"the cool thing about música is no one can take música away from you. tu know, if tu play the kazoo, no one's gonna be like, unless ou're hanging with really terrible people, like take your kazoo and be like 'you can't play that anymore'"
"mahal kita."
"be nice to people... cuz nobody likes an asshole."
"please don't kill me, im nice."
"i feel like an asshole because i don't have a picture of you."
"so i have an EP out called "Human" and its very short and its very small and its very sweet. Like me."
"i don't care if you're gay, straight, purple, orange, dinosaur..."
"magical"
"this nifty little buckaroo"
"mosey along with our wacky adventure"
"time to call another human being... well lets hope its a human being... id be really amused if it was a cat, but then the conversation probably wouldn't be as stimulating"
"hey grace tu put your number on the internet and now weirdos are calling you... lesson learned!"
"I'm darren, i like beaches, sushi, and small animales who are nice"
"i like evil characters too because they're not real evil, theyre fake evil which is the best kind of evil so thats cool"
"sillyness"
"applesauce... i amor that cuz applesauce is delicious"
"this thing has way más fun things"
"that song was really good i didn't expect it to be as cool as it was"
"geez! That's really morose!"
"no birthday to tu man"
"what is on my walls... which is a really great name cuz i don't know what the heck is on my walls most of the time, except for the cupcakes i throw at em"
"YOU DON'T SOUND INTERNATIONAL!!"
"You have a few things to say to me? well thats very convenient cuz were on the phone"
"although i don't endorse any kind of fighting.. make it a very civilized battle, like battleship! maybe tu guys could have a battleship war, not with real battleships, but with like the game, por mattell!"
"molly, i don't know what you're on now, but thats the most absurd thing ive ever heard in my life"
"don't tu worry your beautiful little heads"
"im just as goofy and crazy as i was before if not más insane."
"and if i ever do stray away feel free to find me and kick me in the shins."
"go get some pescado and chips, tell somebody cheerio, and if tu find a guy who looks like a chimmney sweeper, say ello govner!"
"thats a blessing"
"i could hug the camera... can i hug the camera? cool im gunna hug all of you"
"hopefully tu can feel the warmth of my body"
"i'll see ya via the tv... what?"
"i'd like to think they were all romantic! i"m not just some floozy! please!"
"should the man always make the first move? I assume tu mean in chess right? cuz that only works if you're on the black side."
"i wish i lived in the future where we have teleporters.. and 1000 years in the future after the robots take us over, we can teleport pizza into livestream, note to self in 1000 years... teleport pizza"
"Darren doesn't know"
"ha! spotter!"
"my inarticulacy is comming about because it seems so obvious that tu would support each other in this small world and life we lead"
"what makes tu different is what makes tu strong"
"lest we forget! *plays polka music* YEAH!"
"you guys don't know this, but there is 1000 people behind tu right now... behind the camera... that are all like, pointing spears at me making sure i do everything correctly... im actually chained to this chair right now.. i can't leave and if i don't do this correctly they wont feed me!"
"*plays polka música and choked laugh* i amor that song!! thats so funny!"
"clearly this wasn't very planned... but neither is half the things i do..."
"lets summon the interwebs"
"did i already mention this is the biggest mostrar i've ever played? cuz this is the biggest mostrar i've ever played. so huzzah on both accounts!"
"where'd that capo go? oh its over here... nice... hahaha"
"that didnt help me at all that just confused me more"
"you guys are my teenage dream"
"
"I don't know what that means... so you're saying tu can vote? cool... maybe we can vote together sometime."
"There is nothing más badass than being yourself"
"did someone say Darren Criss?"
"i create music"
"Blaine has recently been bitten por a radio-active turtle"
"Then i'll get 'em right where i want 'em! SUPRISE!"
"I'm using soap, now im using the shampooooooooo"
"Like i really carry my guitarra wherever i go..."
"well, with that attitude of course, lets do it!"
"HUZAH!!"
"If he's gonna go, he's gotta be hit por like... a dragon."
"i don't wanna see ANY of tu hanging out with that dryer.. that is a bad, BAD dryer."
"All my aunts in the Phillipines, they look at me and say 'Darreeeeeen! tu so thin! Eat!'"
"I hope their comida is as delicious as they are cool."
"No, that'd be very strange... I'd have to kick my own ass"
"Then on Mars they start a glee club. The first intergalactic glee club!"
"I'm like a bum, A BUM! oh my god, tu guys are interviewing A BUM!"
"OH MAN!"
"My album, is the kind of música tu can be friends with."
"its BEAUTIFUL!"
"Well, everyone's a little crazy!"
"WHAT THE HELL RIGHT?!?"
"Ideally, i'd amor to have my cake and eat it too... Ideally id amor to have that piece of cake right now..."
"My biggest fear? My biggest fear would be turning into an inanimate object."
"Yeah, there has been alot of changes in my life since I started glee...I bought a new sweater..."
"What can tu expect from me in the siguiente five years? Well... I'll get older"
"I have a very regimented schedual of sleeping... alot..."
"No one has tried to ... stab me... Thats cool... I plan on not being stabbed."
"Thats a cool thing, not being stabbed."
"In glee, there's alot of amazing things... and they have nothing to do with me... so they can give me anything and id be like 'yayyyy i get a song!'"
"They are just peachy! I think theyre fabulous!"
"TOTALLY AWESOME!"
"I just wanna hold him in my arms and be like its cool baby baby baby."
"If i meet dan tonight i think my head is going to explode... so i should probably try to avoid him cuz i like the fact that my head is not exploding."
"bleeding from the ears"
"i've made a fool of myself alot... tu know... like spilled things and dropped things around cool people."
"LIFE IS GOOD!"
"This is a terrible, terrible mistake"
"someone really screwed up and let my nutty culo in here."
"yup, just the clothes, the shades, and my silly, silly body underneath it."
"I was just trying to not screw it up"
"Yeah, we're weird on like... nine levels..."
"i never thought in A MILLION YEARS..."
"I'm on nube nine.. i wouldn't even say nube nine... más like nube ten... nube nine was old news."
"yeah its like a wakeup call, tu get up and are rubbing your eyes like 'what?!'"
"no! NO MAN!"
"huh... i don't know... i have no idea"
"This episode we finally did someting everyone was waiting for... A SONG por hola MONDAY!"
"you can't see más than a foot in front of you"
"i was throwing pinecones.. pinecones... wake up ya know?"
"this is the most crazy romantic thing ive ever done in my life this is going to be amazing we're gunna run off and amor each other forever and ever until we DIE!"
"to the door."
"and WE HUGGED! and in the 8th grade a hug is like... all kinds of amor explosions."
"No man! Im the weird one! I play a fake Harry Potter in a musical we took time to make, we have a musical called Me and My Dick!"
"Its a musical virgin... VERSION!"
"HUNKASAURUS REX!"
"I just know my soup."
"THIS IS WAR!"
"Just to make it special"
"well thats what tu missed... ON GLEE!!!"
"Buying my album is the only way that tu can prevent death because aliens are going to come to this earth and destroy us. I am sure of this."
"I do have a reoccuring dream...I was at this place where the band sounds exactly like my alarm clock.. its all AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! and i'm like MAN THIS BAND ROCKS!!! and then i wake up an hora later and realize im late for glee...."
"Blaine is running off to argentina to start a zoo."
"Blaine then is hanging out with rambo and moves to mars."
"its the secret to my power."
"no, i'd never shave my eyebrows.... cuz then i'd look like an alien... which would be terrifying..."
"I would say yes, joey has a girlfriend... and she's a nine foot tarántula with 100 legs and her eyes are made of lasers... and if anyone was to try to kill her they would perish."
"I had to kill alot of people..."
"I would want a glee light saber just to cut my meat."
"I'm pretty sure she specially designed that herself.. just for me.."
"I'm positive thats what happened... I'm sure of this... its true... its the most logical explanation."
"take a blow torch and spray it on the walls."
"He's just saying that cuz my feet are up on the desk"
"My big... sorta... hobbit hair.. tu couldve found certain species that could cure cancer in there."
"Im a short little hobbit... hobbit-ish."
"basically i'm just being a goofball"
"I like naranja and blue together... but i would never wear em... and i think green is great for the planet."
"I've always been the annoying kid who sang."
"i'm just some dude.. im some guy eating comida on the street."
"people are always like... is it creepy that im messaging you? and i'm like no man!... im the weird one..."
"Thats weird man..."
"I'm just such a quirky weirdo."
"did someone say a song?"
"Whats this? a guitar?"
"my gay friends are all like 'no no... he cant be bi o straight...'"
"first of all, democracy, IS COOL!"
"I'm not into labels man."
"I'd be the worst president in the united states... unless tu want the apocalypse to happen really soon... then i'll run for president."
"I kinda walk in when i feel like it... peaceout... get a sandwich.. nap..."
"I think i have a degree in acting.."
"Oh snow! how delightful! What a good time to study por a fire...side."
"wars would stop if we just had every world conflict sit down and have palomitas de maiz, palomitas de maíz and have a sleepover and watch the entire thing of that show... we'd all get along and it would be beautiful."
"its all connected!
"WWEIRD MAN!"
"ABSOLUTELY!"
"EVIDENTLY"
"check it out"
"shenanogans"
"oh yeah, oh yeah"
"i just blew your mind."
"your welcome, your welcome ive planned it for years."
"i'd choose the world to be in pink... it would be really funny... then mean people wouldn't seem so mean..."
"ENGAGE!"
"how very apropros."
"lest we forget"
"there is an implicit connoctation of those songs that just bleeds innocence"
"its all contextual"
"if thats any indication of how much i like alladdin... manzana, apple just freaked out of my mouth"
"private fancy"
"don't stab darren"
"*choked up giggle* I amor that song! it's so funny!"
"i don't know whats on my walls... except for the cupcakes i throw at them."
"thats why my nails are so colorful, because of coachella, and i have various other colorful things... which tu may o may not see..."
"the cool thing about música is no one can take música away from you. tu know, if tu play the kazoo, no one's gonna be like, unless ou're hanging with really terrible people, like take your kazoo and be like 'you can't play that anymore'"
"mahal kita."
"be nice to people... cuz nobody likes an asshole."