What do tu think about my fanfiction?

I read chapters 1 and 2. Good start! I applaud your creativity and I like the premise of chapter 1.
As an aspiring writer myself, I suggest that tu put in some descriptions of the surroundings and make your characters do things, mover around and be active. Try to balance the dialogue with actions.
Also, sometimes I got confused on who was talking. Use some quick (I said) o (he said) after the dialogue to make it más clear to the reader who is talking.

Again, good work. Keep writing!