An idea popped into my head the other día and its been playing like a little movie in my head ever since. I really need to know if its any good, o if the idea has already been used. Also I need consejos for the characters and their names. I also appreciate constructive criticism and grammar and spelling. The names are temporary. I've never written a book that is completely in the present tense so please help me catch any tense mistakes! Um, oh yeah. It doesn't have a título yet so if tu have any suggestions just let me know!
(: Thanks!
-Carly
The story is jumbled a bit. It is because the characters are experiencing tough times and can't think straight, so since they tell it, the story is a little jumpy.
Here is a a short vista previa of the 1st chapter to an unnamed story in the making along with a summary of the book.
"Good morning," I hear the principal say as she does every day. Normally, I would politely respond to that with a "Thank tu Mrs. Monrale, tu too," but today I am pissed. How can she say that?! It was awful of her to say such a thing! It is most definitely not a good morning, I mutter to myself as she is all the way down the hallway now.
I pace around, taking a long route to my locker where, as always, the two cheerleaders on either side of my locker are cheerfully chatting. Normally I would say "Excuse me," but today I'm not normal. I can't bring myself to say WHY I'm so abnormal today. I'm not ready to get into that yet. Today is awful, life is just a dismay, people are always in your way, the principal is disgusting, the cheerleaders are horrid, and I am mad - mad at everyone and everything, everywhere.
That is a vista previa of chapter one, in the the female protagonist, Josepheenah's point of view.
Here is a summary of the whole book:
Ever since Josepheenah dicho the words "I wish you'd just die, Eli," she has never stopped regretting them. Jo and Eli really got along until he decided to fall in amor with her. He loved the pool of brown in her eyes and the black mess of hair that she had always hated. Eli found her laugher to be música to his ears. Her voice was melodic and always on key. Jo always knew what to say to him, until she says the last words Eli ever heard her say. She took none of this seriously. But Eli would do anything Jo wanted. They were at her house at the time, so when Jo got up to get them a snack, he gave her what she asked for. Jo comes back to messages written on her mirror in blood, and balled up amor notes Eli never had the guts to give to her. Read the novel to get the story from both sides, and how everything turns out in the end.
Thanks for helping me out! x :)
(: Thanks!
-Carly
The story is jumbled a bit. It is because the characters are experiencing tough times and can't think straight, so since they tell it, the story is a little jumpy.
Here is a a short vista previa of the 1st chapter to an unnamed story in the making along with a summary of the book.
"Good morning," I hear the principal say as she does every day. Normally, I would politely respond to that with a "Thank tu Mrs. Monrale, tu too," but today I am pissed. How can she say that?! It was awful of her to say such a thing! It is most definitely not a good morning, I mutter to myself as she is all the way down the hallway now.
I pace around, taking a long route to my locker where, as always, the two cheerleaders on either side of my locker are cheerfully chatting. Normally I would say "Excuse me," but today I'm not normal. I can't bring myself to say WHY I'm so abnormal today. I'm not ready to get into that yet. Today is awful, life is just a dismay, people are always in your way, the principal is disgusting, the cheerleaders are horrid, and I am mad - mad at everyone and everything, everywhere.
That is a vista previa of chapter one, in the the female protagonist, Josepheenah's point of view.
Here is a summary of the whole book:
Ever since Josepheenah dicho the words "I wish you'd just die, Eli," she has never stopped regretting them. Jo and Eli really got along until he decided to fall in amor with her. He loved the pool of brown in her eyes and the black mess of hair that she had always hated. Eli found her laugher to be música to his ears. Her voice was melodic and always on key. Jo always knew what to say to him, until she says the last words Eli ever heard her say. She took none of this seriously. But Eli would do anything Jo wanted. They were at her house at the time, so when Jo got up to get them a snack, he gave her what she asked for. Jo comes back to messages written on her mirror in blood, and balled up amor notes Eli never had the guts to give to her. Read the novel to get the story from both sides, and how everything turns out in the end.
Thanks for helping me out! x :)
blood fills the faces of my fantasies
no mercy,you're trying to put me down
i can see clearly as you're taking a oscilación at me
come and i'll push tu to the ground
what are tu doing? what do tu think this is doing to me?
you're taking all my faith
what are tu leaving me now?!
i will make tu suffer just like tu made me suffer
i will watch tu screaming and begging for forgiveness
all my hate can not be bound
i will not be bound por your darkest demons
so try to take my life and put me to the ground
i will follow tu and torture tu and i'll watch tu screaming
look at the bloody faces smiling at you,taking tu down and making tu drown
i wanna kill tu the same way tu killed me
leaving me thoughtless
tu can try to tell me that i'm worthless
but tu can not break me down
gonna take tu down because nothing in this world is going to save me
no mercy,you're trying to put me down
i can see clearly as you're taking a oscilación at me
come and i'll push tu to the ground
what are tu doing? what do tu think this is doing to me?
you're taking all my faith
what are tu leaving me now?!
i will make tu suffer just like tu made me suffer
i will watch tu screaming and begging for forgiveness
all my hate can not be bound
i will not be bound por your darkest demons
so try to take my life and put me to the ground
i will follow tu and torture tu and i'll watch tu screaming
look at the bloody faces smiling at you,taking tu down and making tu drown
i wanna kill tu the same way tu killed me
leaving me thoughtless
tu can try to tell me that i'm worthless
but tu can not break me down
gonna take tu down because nothing in this world is going to save me
The día of love,
Is here again,
This is tough,
From end to end,
A joyus occasion,
Is our salvation,
Without you,
I would be empty,
No one por my side,
No one to embrace me when I'm tired,
Stuck within a baracading window,
Wishing oh so much,
That tu would show,
Just another day,
Where I would have to sit here and say,
Alone again,
Always alone,
Behind these eyes are tears of love,
tu are my one true,
Thank tu honey,
For being with me,
I amor tu so,
Please,
Never ever leave me
por ScottishChic, dedicated to all whom I amor x
Is here again,
This is tough,
From end to end,
A joyus occasion,
Is our salvation,
Without you,
I would be empty,
No one por my side,
No one to embrace me when I'm tired,
Stuck within a baracading window,
Wishing oh so much,
That tu would show,
Just another day,
Where I would have to sit here and say,
Alone again,
Always alone,
Behind these eyes are tears of love,
tu are my one true,
Thank tu honey,
For being with me,
I amor tu so,
Please,
Never ever leave me
por ScottishChic, dedicated to all whom I amor x
Hello my name is Cristina Xtri ,i am 15 years old and i amor every singer's songs because SONG IS MY LIFE and also if singers wasn't even here exist then there would be no songs and i wouldn't even listen to song but now singers are here my life in on a ROCK AND ROLL!!!! WELL want to say something i amor every singer's songs well they are GREAT for me it is my LIFE!!
SINGERS THAT I KNOW :Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj,Justin Bieber, Rihanna, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez,Jennifer Lopez, well i just amor every singers !!
Well i wish all the singer a big GOOD LUCK!!!! and also i amor every songs well they are great!! hola all the singers make más song for me please want to see más !!! well just amor every singer!!, well my favorito! song is WORK por rihanna and what is yours?
SINGERS THAT I KNOW :Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj,Justin Bieber, Rihanna, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez,Jennifer Lopez, well i just amor every singers !!
Well i wish all the singer a big GOOD LUCK!!!! and also i amor every songs well they are great!! hola all the singers make más song for me please want to see más !!! well just amor every singer!!, well my favorito! song is WORK por rihanna and what is yours?