Can I get someones Opinion PLEASE

Okay I've written a story but can someone tell em if they like the story line.
A girl is dado a collar por a gypsy while travelling with her family, and they find a stray dog. While driving her family has a car crash. She and the dog survive. She is taken to the hospital and while there she dicovers she can read minds and travel to a differnt world in her sleep. She figures out the collar is helping her with this....jeez that was a long explanation. If tu want a better idea, some of it is publicado on here under the name Alyria. Okay I'm going to stop talking now =)
Ps. if tu want to check it out type in ALyria in teh buscar box. Otherwise go to my activities on my perfil page.