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What should be the opening line of my book??

This is gonna be a seriously dramatic story about the life of two boys who didn't exactly get a perfect start on life. Blake's father/Dylan's step-father(Jude) is in possession of drugs, bombs, and machine guns, has phisically abused both Blake and Dylan, and killed none other than Blake and Dylan's mother. He's hardly ever inicial on account of he's using all the things he's in possession of on people he wants money, sex, o even nothing from. As tu can probably guess, he's wanted por the police for his actions shown all across the U.S.(Of course he's not gonna stay in one state when he's wanted.) Obviously, this doesn't exactly have the perfect affect on Blake and Dylan. They were growing up hard, cold, and mean and could end up being a future Jude. But they aren't all dumb. Blake decides he's not gonna take it anymore. He's leaving and is taking Dylan with him. He takes all the food, weapons, and money they need to live for at least a week and he'll of course, steal anything else his corazón desires. At this time Dylan is barely pushing five while Blake holds a solid eight, as if that's much better. As soon as they step out the door...

Soooo, asuming that's enough 411, do tu think I should start the story out por describing the setting, the characters, o just straight up say what's going on?? o any other suggestions??

P.S. Ask me if tu want to something else about what I'm planning for the book.. =D
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Nice idea!!! Plus, i dont mind what yu do, its up to yu, for yu can read it back and change it when yu finished yur story! =D
1-2vampire posted hace más de un año
 BaybieBetty009 posted hace más de un año
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Lunaste said:
Hmm, it's important to give enough information to introduce the reader, but also withhold enough to keep him/her interested, but to me that's what the first paragraph/page is for ;)

My personal favorito! is an opening sentence that either sucks the reader right in o leaves them saying "huh, what?"
Basically, I try to jump on them with something they didn't expect. A great first sentence is important to me.

I can't suggest anything to you, but thought I'd try to throw in my two cents. Have to say that your idea sounds very interesting, though! Reminded me a bit of supernatural if there were no demons and the father was an even bigger bastard ;)
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posted hace más de un año 
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Thx for the advice!! Oh, and the two cents...
BaybieBetty009 posted hace más de un año
dar-dargrl said:
Is this book from anyones point of view o is it third person ?
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posted hace más de un año 
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Yeah, I think it'll be in the third person. Or, I could make it in Blake's point of view.
BaybieBetty009 posted hace más de un año
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o Dylan...
BaybieBetty009 posted hace más de un año
j1edwardcullen7 said:
Send me a message. Which POV is it in?
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posted hace más de un año 
harold said:
I would recommend against anything other than 3rd person; this is a scary enough premise without getting direct insight into the kids' darkness. That said, to come up with a first sentence, tu need to decide on where in the story tu want to begin, which is always an interesting question. For instance, tu could begin weeks before they leave, hours before they leave, moments before they leave, o at some point after they've left. It should be obvious that the less time before they leave, the más you'll be telling their past in flashbacks. As such, the idea of starting after they've left and filling in the gaps with flashbacks as the story progresses is most interesting to me.

So, that said, I'd start with some action relating to their grifting, stealing, scavenging lifestyle, something like:

"Dylan sat on the park bench, kicking his small legs, idly waiting for some kindly old grandmother to approach so that Blake could roll her for the cash they needed to get to Augusta."

Yeah, it's a little clumsy, putting it all in one sentence like that, but tu get the idea.
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posted hace más de un año 
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I do get the idea! Thx! I really amor the idea of flashbacks, makes it feel like a movie which is exactly the way you're supposed to view a book like this. Your opening line is great and it could probably be formed into two sentences instead of one! That'd be great. Two birds, one stone. Unfortunately, I was planning on making it in the third person... o first. Maybe I could do both.
BaybieBetty009 posted hace más de un año
1-2vampire said:
to answer that properly, i need to know whether it's 1st o 3rd person o both.

Either way, i think it should be 3rd cos of the father etc...
and what i think could be the opening line is... man, opening lines are hard.

It could go summin like this,

The young boys were playing together on the field, and their descripción WHEREVER mother was hanging up the washing on the washing line. The summer air playing along with the two boys, the next-door-neighbour was mowing their back garden/lawn and the scent of césped, hierba was being carried por the breeze to their noses. Then a descripción man burst out of the door to the house with a knife.
The mother of the two boys gasped and dropped the basket of wet laundry. She then screamed and ran to sheild the boys with her arms.
The man went to her and pulled her away from the boys,
"No! Don't hurt them! Stay away from them!" the mother shrieked. "I wont let you!" tears were pouring down her face and she struggled in the man's arms, breaking into broken sobs.
He lifted the cuchillo and she screamed, then the man stabbed her in the chest where her corazón was, she died instantly.
The man scooped the wailing boys in his arms and ran off with them, ignoring the many stares that went his way.

idk, im rubbish at escritura XD!!!!
but also, what do yu mean por 'soooo assuming that's enough 411...'?

Signed: Me xx
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posted hace más de un año 
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Enough information to form a first line of the story... That's nice that you're starting out before Blake and Dylan's mother dies although I think I'll use harold's idea and put that all in a flashback. Sooo third person huh?
BaybieBetty009 posted hace más de un año
ryans_love said:
it might be a good idea to start off with some dialogue that really grabs your reader; it makes them want to keep reading. i can't give any examples, but you're the writer: tu decide.
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posted hace más de un año 
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So many good ideas...
BaybieBetty009 posted hace más de un año
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good luck!
ryans_love posted hace más de un año
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