4.    I Hate This Part

Knowing that I will see Jacob tomorrow really didn’t help my lack of sleep but Claire did. She was warm like Jake I fell asleep for longer then I imagined. When I woke up Claire was already downstairs dressed and ready for school she and Alice were eating breakfast –well Alice wasn’t – I saw that Alice made me so eggs.
“Hurry and eat so tu can go see what the studio looks like we just have to install some wires then were done ”Alice danced around me and made me a plate “where is Jake meeting you? Oh and I have some pants in that bag I didn’t touch them ” she pointed to the bag on the coffee table.
I finished my comida and changed close and walked over to grandpa’s house, seeing yesterdays hole in the muro was gone. Claire and I walked up stared and on the door was a giant green bow then Alice jumped on me to cover my eyes “aunt what are tu doing ” I asked he had an unbreakable hold on me
“Making sure tu wont peek Claire get the door for me” I walked in to the room and Alice jumped of on me “well what do tu think?”
    “Wow I amor it its perfect were everyone I want to thank them ”I was ready to cry it was the best thing anyone has ever done for me.
     “They’re in Seattle buying stuff tu see what when tu get back” Alice told me “were not going to school but tu and Claire should its your first time ” she dicho with a smirk
    “Bye thank tu for all of this” I dicho we took moms car to school it was the fastest when we got to school the campana rang we were late to class. Every thing when por fast to día I knew I will be seeing my Jacob to día I didn’t eat lunch and I don’t remember what we did in math but as soon as the campana rang to get out of school I was gone Claire was waiting for me bye the car –she had art and they never got out late.
    “Its about time slow poke ” she teased me “come so tu can go see your Jake ” she got into the passenger asiento she didn’t like driving Bella’s car
“Ok well do tu want me to drop tu off at the house o wait in the car for me” I asked I felt rushed like if I didn’t mover fast enough he would just leave.
“Home will be good I want to see your studio” she dicho as I turned into the drive .she got out of the car and went inside.
I had to get prepared to see him I didn’t know where he was coming from but I knew he would be here. I waited a couple of minutes. The I eperlano lobos strangely I missed that smell I got out of the car and looked around for him I saw him a rusted brown lobo with dark eyes he saw the bag I had I tossed it to him –my feet went working. He disappeared with the bags and came out my tall handsome Jake but he looked sad and tired this wasn’t my Jake this was alpha Jake he wasn’t the same he didn’t smile the same he was happy to see me but sad about something else I found my voice but not my lags
“Hi Jake ” it was an audible whisper. Found my legs and walked over to him. He gave me a big hug, but no kiss.
“Hey Nessie tu don’t looks so go have tu been sleeping ” he was concerned about my sleeping habits I wonder if he knew I hadn’t slept since he left.
“Um no not really I’ve been on and off. How are the new lobos looking?” I asked changing the subject
“Not so great that why I'm here.” He took a step away from me “Nessie I have to stay longer at la push I mean there are a lot of problems and the Sam’s kid hasn’t phased so there is no Alpha o Bata it looks like I have to wait. I’ve got to do this, I hate this part, and I cant have tu waiting with me .I saw tu all week and tu look so dicho not like the Nessie I love. I want tu to keep going like I'm right there por tu ok I amor tu to much to see tu hurting I just cant take your tears ” he stop and hugged me again. I began to cry in his chest
“I. Don’t. Understand.” Was all I managed to get out .it sounded like he was braking up with me but I couldn’t tell he wasn’t talking then I pulled away from him and asked him “are tu breaking up with me?”
“No of course not I’m telling tu to stop waiting for me to come inicial because I’m not I cant it’s not time yet. I want tu to be más …independent. Can tu do that for me Nessie ”he dicho putting his hands on my shoulder “Nessie?”
“Yeah. Sure. Whatever. I have to do my homework. ” I turn away from him I didn’t want to think about him ever again I wanted nothing to do with him he was a jerk he just left me.
I started to run towards the house .I went to my room and mom was their waiting for me she wasn’t suppose to come back for another day. When I saw her I just started to cry I sat in her lap and rambled about what he dicho to me.
We didn’t leave the room for hours she just listen and held me .she laid me down and got me some water “Renesmee hunny I don’t know what to tell you. This isn’t in my area mom-isms. ” She handed me the water.
“I know mom is ok .I'm just doing to stay here tu shouldn’t have come tu and dad needed that vacation ”I stopped crying I had no más tears in me
“No we had our fun but I missed tu I want to come see you. Then I eperlano Jake I knew something wasn’t right so I went into your room” she dicho I leaned into her shoulder
“Every one wants me huh. They finished the studio ” I was thinking out loud
“Yeh tu know I don’t know how much I like that tu better stick with this it took a lot of time and money to do ”she dicho helping me stand up
Alice and Claire were already in the studio jasper was there he knew I was upset. I walked in and say all of the stuff I had 5 guitars a new white paino and a sound booth there was a mesa, tabla with lots of little buttons I wonder what that was used for. I guess it was professional “thank you” was all I could say I hugged aunty and kept to my self I put the head phones on and started playing with the electric guitarra I hear mom tell Alice and jasper what happened I thought about a song I could write. I got to do this moved to the paino and started messing with cords.
I started escritura a song well más like a course ‘I hate this part’ was what it became in the morning. I couldn’t sleep so I didn’t I stayed up all night but I wasn’t going to school to día it was sunny Claire didn’t go either we just stayed cooped up in the studio all day.
I wasn’t ready to do anything I didn’t want to I had no time to I showed Claire my songs. She told me I needed to get out of the house. I didn’t want to but I did. I missed a whole week of school and I hadn’t even notice. I think Claire gave me the homework but I didn’t do. I never left the studio it was my new home.
Mom and dad were upset about me missing so much school so I promised I’d go on Thursday. I didn’t want to but I did I did what I had to do. I kept going. I did what He told me I tried to be independent.
Only tried.