True Writers Article: Revamp of Vamp Out

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posted by Knowitall123

half a año hace my friend wrote a story called Vamp out ,but after receiving some mean comentarios she gave up on it and when I asked to do a revamp she agreed.

I have,a pretty much normal life, well not quite as normal as tu think.
tu see I'm a Vampire. All of tu who just started running in panic tu can relax. I don't kill people, I'm Vegeterian. I almost never drink blood. When I need to drink blood I drink animal blood. I live in the UK, to be más precise in London. Maybe tu want to know how I look like. I'm a normal girl, who's a Vampire. I have long curly brown-blond hair and blue eyes (I know I look like a mary sue). I live with my little blond sister Emma who is a bit annoying, my mom who is a normal "killer" Vampire and my dad who is..just your ordinary mean Vampire dad. Maybe tu are asking yourself how can I stay in the sun. Well, every Vampire family has it's own protection sign. Our family`s sing is the cat. So I have a bracelet on my right hand. It's a cute, little, silver bracelet with a Cat charm on it. I have a pet. Not a dog o a cat o a bird, even tought it can fly. I have a dragon. Sounds wierd, but she is really cute. Her name is "Striped Diamond", but I call her Dia. She can be very small and very big. With the help of my bracelet I can turn her into a little pocket charm. Now let`s talk about my past . My familly turned into vampiros in the año 1690. So we still look like the time we turned. I was turned when I was a teenager so I still look like 16 and I will for a long time and after like 500 years I will look like 18, then 20, then 22 and so on. I amor to get on the roof of our huge house. Did I say it was Huge?It is! And watch the night and the sky. Sadly there aren't any vampiros in our town beside us, better dicho we are the only vampiros in the whole Country. Every country has is own Vampire family. We are all from Romania. But In 1700 every vampiros had to leave the country and go into a diffrent one. So why am I telling tu all this? Well, 2 weeks hace I got a mail from a High School in the USA...

Part 2: link

sadiebugz00, SweetHoneyBunny and 1 other like this

alicia386 Pretty good, are you going to continue the story. I would love to read it. What exactly is a mary sue? Pretty good. I like it.

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the keeper of the forbidden light chapter 7

posted by Annabeth788594

I got dressed and slipped my chaqueta with badge on and went down the hall. And then someone bumped into me. hola watch where you’re going! “Sorry tu Agent Montezz?” Yes who are you?

“Doesn’t matter Kyle dicho for tu to meet him in the shooting arena.” Where is that? “Take this hall straight down then make a right tu will see a stair well go all the way down then make a left first door on your right.” Thank you.

He walked away then leaving me alone in an empty hallway. I followed the guy directions and stepped into a combat arena compete with targets bows, arrows, guns, and many...

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hechiceras and Dangerous Ch. 12

posted by alicia386

Chapter Twelve: Small Rooms Makes for No Escapes

Their headquarters was nothing más then a room with monitors everywhere. They had enough in the budget to get a bigger el espacio and tons más gadgets, they just chose not to. Some of the monitors showed different vistas of the outside building. One monitor was mostrando a desert somewhere in Africa. It is odd how they got one out there and why they have he out there. I didn't ask questions. I wanted to appear as if I knew everything about everything in the room. Marlo wasn't going to get the best of me.
Darrell stayed por my side...

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Change o Be Changed. Chapter 6

posted by IlovePatch97

Sorry it took so long, school is crazy. i hope this makes up for it.
don't forget to comentario :D

Chapter 6

“Wait! Wait!” I said, needing a moment of processing. “This is real? I’m not dreaming, I’m not hallucinating and this isn’t an extremely well executed prank?”
“No Alana I’m sorry to say but this is real, unbelievable, but real” Chris replied. I turned to look at Patricia, her face unchanged like stone.
“So then what are we going to do? Are tu bringing me to this Zerokenum guy so he can cut out my heart!?” I exclaimed in sudden alarm. I didn’t think Chris o Patricia...

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Absolutely Wicked Ch.17

posted by Problematic129

~Genre: Fiction, fantasy~
17
    Iris
    It felt like being hit in the gut, I just couldn’t believe it. Not saying I’m bossy o anything, but I didn’t want to walk alone in a deserted park, but I did anyway.
    What I was not ready for, however, was the real pain in my stomach when I was pushed to the ground, hitting my fragile head in the process. Ready to let people hear my screams all the way from China, I turned around, and was startled to see a black thing passing us, flying on the wind.
    I knew going...

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The Eye of the Beholder, Chapter 4

posted by 1999jacko

Orion woke up with a dark black aura slowly disappearing from his body. Libra hobbled into the room and saw Orion quickly waking up," Orion your up I have been waiting for hours, now quickly outside," he dicho hurriedly as he hobbled out through the other door that lead outside into a small arena. Orion stood up feeling fresh and powerful and ran through the door into the arena. Libra stood looking younger than he actually was at the other side, wand writhing about in his hand ready for a fight," come on Orion dont be afraid," Libra shouted out. So Orion stepped into his circulo, círculo and drew his...

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Beautiy is the Beast Prologue

posted by Dhampires

The most beautiful creature is the most deciving creature. Foul, cruelness, and haterid are the only things that makes it's corazón whole. The rest is pit of darkness not one hearty emotion lurks in it's body, it feeds off fear- the fear of it's prey.
It was only a few nights eariler that she wore an white silk ballgown to the Ball-wearing matching gloves that came just above the wrist and glass heels. She'd had that beautiful blond hair flowing behind her back, her crystal blue eyes showed off her hair very well and her rosey lips placed together her face perfectly-not to mention her slim...

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Absolutely Wicked Ch.9

posted by Problematic129

~Genre: Fiction, fantasy~
9
    Zaria
    We came to an agreement, if anything…unusual happened, we’ll check it out. If it happens to be another thing then we’ll comw to the conclusion that we and the book caused this. So on the siguiente day, sadly where school wasn’t cancelled, I’d kept an open eye for anything weird.
    “Status report?” Stilere asks as she walks with me around school.
    “Nothing,” I sigh. “You?”
    “Same.” Stilere shakes her head....

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Absolutely Wicked Ch.8

posted by Problematic129

~Genre: Fiction, fantasy~
8
    Terry
    “Yes, it was very bizarre, indeed, Michael. In the middle of the day, in the town of Spear Springs, a horrible storm occurs, nearly knocking people off their feet, it came out of nowhere ad stopped just as abruptly. And if that’s not weird, in a neighborhood of that same town all the windows of the houses on the block smashed at the same time! It’s really…” I zoned out on what the woman was saying.
    It wasn’t bizarre at all, the storm came from the book, again. Zaria, Alex, Iris,...

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hechiceras and Dangerous Ch. 3

posted by alicia386

Chapter Three: New School, New Worries

"You're lying," I dicho but then again, who would lie about something like this. "My father would have told me if he was in danger. We have a strong relationship."
"That maybe, but would he really want tu to worry when your spy exams are coming up? Would he want to add más to your plate of stress?" Darrell raised one eyebrow for my response but he didn't need one. He already knew what I was going to say.
"You have a point but," I said. "What is the school going to do about it? Surely, they wouldn't let one of the most parte superior, arriba notch...

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Smith, Ron Smith. Chapter 2

posted by 1999jacko

Ron was waiting outside the school building for the MI6 agent that was being sent for him. A small, black car turned round the corner, it slowed to a stop in front of him, the door slowly opened an instead of the small agent the commenter had told him would come 3 men in odd black suits, white ties and black sunglasses stepped out and shoved a almohada case over his head, blocking his line of vision so he couldn't see what happened after that but he felt the smash of a cricket bat against his head while being roughly pushed into the back asiento of a car. Slowly his head started to hurt a lot and...

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A death in the forest, chapter 3

posted by 1999jacko

just a warning every other chapter will be dark with a murder happening in almost all of them so if tu don't like dark stuff don't read this one

Jameson was rushing around the room his eyes blood shot with tiredness, he had received the results of the prints hours hace and had been working on it for the whole night. And when he had discovered who the killer and his little gang were he had instantly knew he was screwed, but tried to type it up so hopefully chief detective James would discover it and start arresting the people as soon as he was killed. When he finished his little message to James...

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Absolutely Wicked Ch.2

posted by Problematic129

~Genre: Fiction, fantasy
2
Alex
    “Are tu okay?!” I asked as I rushed to Zaria and Iris.
    “Somewhat,” Iris dicho giving me a shaky smile, while Zaria replied. “Define okay.”
    I helped them out of the water, they were soaked, and kept on slipping. Which led me to fall into the water.
    “Sorry,” Iris said, looking at my now wet clothes sorrowfully.
    “It’s okay let’s just get out of here.” I said, pulling them toward the ground.
    “Wait!”...

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The Dark Of Writing, Chapter 1

posted by 1999jacko

Dark Fantasy(I think)

Drake and Sam stood at the edge of the road waiting for the cars to stop zooming past. pato, drake was starting to get really impatient so she started to shout," oh come on! how long does it take for us to be able to cruzar, cruz the road," his face going red and all the while Sam was laughing his head of at the rants that pato, drake was going on about until finally he said," come on man lets just go under the bridge it may be the long way but its easily quicker than this, so come on." Sam had already started jogging towards the entrance to the little path that lead under the bridge por the...

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Through Her Eyes... Chapter One- Life No More?

posted by malmcd

Through Her Eyes... Chapter One- Life No More?

Alice could still fell the warm breeze glide across her skin and through her blonde streaked fresa red hair, making it fly every which way. She remembered looking over at he father with his warm brown eyes and brown hair a shade litter then his eyes. His nose big as every. She would always make fun of him for that nose. She remembered leaning in to give him a warm kiss on the check and saying, “I amor tu dad.” He looked down at her and said,”I amor tu two.” As he turned into the siguiente road, She gasp. He slams on the breaks but it’s...

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The Ghost Chronicles: Murder in Mapel colina Chapter 13

posted by LadyEmzy16

Chapter (13):
"So, are we gonna walk inicial o is Noah gonna pick us up?" asked Leo, as they descended the school steps, "I'm calling Noah" replied Abbie, "Okay then" dicho Leo, he shoved his hands in his pockets and started rocking back and forth on his heals, Abbie fumbled her messenger bag for her phone,and found it just before she could dial Noah's number, it vibrated lightly signaling that she had a text, "I got a text" dicho Abbie, "Who's it from?" asked Leo, "Noah" replied Abbie after she'd checked the name, she read the text, 'Stay where tu are I'm picking tu and Leo up, From ur 'Also...

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Runaway Eagle

posted by hgfan5602

Run now. Run fast. We all have a place that we desire to be, and that place is not inicial for me, unlike most people. My parents have started to torture me since last December, and I have had enough of it. My corazón is racing, and I know I have to get away now. I can't take any más of this. My parents have been holding me in my room, locking me under chain and key, beating my head against the wall. Not your normal kid, the kid who thinks doing homework is torture. This is what I call real torture. Yesterday past midnight, I was thinking, "Why do my parents do this to me? Why? Why? I'm definitely...

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Daredevil's Vs. Murderer's Ch.9

posted by Problematic129

*Thanks for all the review!!! :) Please don't copy and please read and review*
Chapter 9
    The Seven Deadly Sins
    Greed, gluttony, envy, lust, sloth, pride, and wrath. The seven deadly sins, we all know what they are. Commit one and tu are sinner, commit all, tu are very bad sinner.
    If I have ever believed I committed one it would be wrath, I have a good temper, believe me, but when it is broken. When I’ve met my breaking point, that is when I am at my most unpleasant.
    In the bible, it tells us about...

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lobo Girl: Chapter 7

posted by SweetHoneyBunny

I dropped the bat and ran the two steps to his side. “Brett, what happened?! Who did this to you?!” His leg looked like it was torn apart. The skin was hanging in shreds, there was blood everywhere and I could see the bone. His arm was hanging at an odd angle and his face was covered with claw marks and a deep gash could be seen above his right eye. I grabbed some cloths from beside me and turned on the sink. Wetting one of the cloths, I began to clear some of the blood away. Brett gasped in pain. “I'm sorry. I should take tu to the hospital.” I was getting up to leave the room to...

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Misty: First Chapter Chapter 1

posted by kitty190123

One day, a girl was walking through a forest. Her name was Rachel, and she was looking for a friend. Her and her friend, Misty, were camping, but then Misty disappeared. She then saw a dim white light. She walked towards it and saw a face, a body, arms, and legs. It was wearing a white dress. tu know, when she thought about it, it looked a bit like... "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

That's all for chapter 1! Please tell me if it needs to be a little longer and feel free to post your preguntas and comments!

Howl (2nd Image)

added by sawfan13

Source: Twitter o Photobucket