Shelley Duvall's Bedtime Stories Club
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posted by hornean
ELIZABETH and LARRY were old friends. Elizabeth was sixty-two, and Larry was pushing forty.


Elizabeth met Larry for the first time many years ago. He was delivered to her por mistake with the box of oranges she ordered from Florida.

Elizabeth decided to keep Larry, and she gave him a room above the garage. She put the oranges in the refrigerator.


Larry loved his new home. His only complaint had to do with the size of the pool.

Every día Elizabeth and Larry went walking. Larry was always drawn to the zoo. He was fascinated por the unusual exhibits.


On sunny days they went to the beach. Larry taught...
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There is nobody quite like our Aunt Ippy. Aunt Ippy gives us the biggest hugs.
Aunt Ippy bakes the best batch of chocolate chip cookies. Aunt Ippy can fix anything.

Aunt Ippy never throws anything away. She uses things over and over again.
She has built a balsa out of plastic leche jugs. Her car runs on old cooking oil.
She has created tower of two hundred toilet paper tubes. Don't even look in her garage.
Aunt Ippy calls this "Waste Management."

When she finally finds something she can't use for anything else, she puts it into her museum.
People come from near and far to visit Aunt Ippy's Museum of...
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posted by hornean
Shhh, little penguins. Now don't make a peep, and Grand Nanny pingüino, pingüino de will tell tu a tale of long, long ago.


Once there lived a little pingüino, pingüino de just like you. Just like you, except Little pingüino, pingüino de didn't listen to his Grand Nanny's tales.
One morning, at the break of dawn, he snuck off por himself to find some fun in the snowy, polar world.


Up one colina and down another, he soon left all his friends behind.
"Look at me!" Little pingüino, pingüino de cried. "I'm sliding on my tummy far, far away from home!"


Now everyone knows a little pingüino, pingüino de can get lost far, far away from home.


But he didn't.
Right away, Little Penguin...
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posted by hornean
My mother and Bootsie Barker's mother are best friends.
When Mrs. Barker comes to visit, she always brings chocolate donuts, fresh strawberries, and Bootsie.


First, we have a té party.
Then, my mother tells Bootsie and me to play in my room.

I try to get Bootsie interested in my book about turtles, but Bootsie hates turtles.


"You're a turtle!" howls Bootsie. "And I'm a TURTLE-EATING DINOSAUR!"


My mother calls, "Play nicely, girls!"
Bootsie yells, "We are!"
I can't yell anything.

It's time for the Barkers to go home.
"We'll be back tomorrow!" says Mrs. Barker.
I tell my mother I don't like playing with...
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posted by hornean
Every spring Uncle Wizzmo goes out to buy a new used car, and we go with him!

It's a long drive from our house to Fleeberville. We wave at the animales on Mrs. Nickels' farm.

We drive past ganso Lake and Snookersburg, past the windmill and the recycling plant.

We stop for french fries at Burgerworld, then on to Fleeberville!

Fleeberville! What a place! Signs and shops, motels and restaurants!
We stop at the red light. The used car lot is just ahead.

Every spring Uncle Wizzmo visits Turnpike Larry's used car lot.
Turnpike Larry is always happy to see Uncle Wizzmo.

Turnpike Larry is a friendly sort...
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posted by hornean
We've moved to a new neighborhood.
Mom says the change will do us good.

I have no friends now, living near.
I hope I make some new friends here.

Behind our inicial a strange house stands,
Like a castillo in a foreign land.

I wonder who lives on the hill;
To look at it gives me a chill.


It wasn't very long at all
Till my new neighbors came to call.

They must have come to our front door
To leave the note there on the floor.

I saw the hand that brought the mail.
I caught a glimpse of greenish scale.

Perhaps that hand was just a joke.
If not, our neighbors are strange folk.


I heard footsteps that shook the floor
And...
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posted by hornean
Madame Pestilence expected her students at the Academy for Young Goblins and Witches to scowl at all time. It was one of the many rules that Gloria had trouble remembering.
Every time Madame Pestilence spotted Gloria passing her office, she would hollar, “STOP SMILING!”

It was easy to scowl at dinnertime because the same awful creamed cockroach cazuela, cazuela de was served every night. It made all of the students sick.
“Stop complaining!” Madame Pestilence would snarl. “This diet will turn tu into wicked witches and goblins—as mean as your headmistress.”

One evening at midnight the students...
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One night Little Toot had a dream. He dreamed he saw an enormous monster with large, bulging eyes and green scales. "It even had flippers and wings," he told the other riverboats.
"There are no monsters!" the riverboats jeered. All but Grandfather Toot. "I have heard of one fierce, awful monster," he said. "It lives in a lake called Loch Ness, far across the sea in Scotland. Go and find out for yourself," he told Little Toot.
"A waste of time," the riverboats said.

It seemed a long, long way to go, but Little Toot was determined to find the monster.
So, hiding his fears, the small tugboat bravely...
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posted by hornean
Patrick and his brother, Hank, went to the zoo on Saturday. They stood outside a tall fence and watched the elephants.
"I'll bet that elefante is the biggest animal in the whole world," dicho Patrick.
"You think he's big," Hank said. "A brontosaurus was heavier than TEN elephants."


"Gosh!" dicho Patrick. If Hank dicho so, it must be true. Hank knew all about dinosaurs. He knew más about everything because he was older and went to school already.
Patick squeezed his eyes half shut. What would a dinosaur that weighed as much as ten elephants look like? The brontosaurus he imagined turned and looked...
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posted by hornean
William Everett cocodrilo lived on the banks of the River Nile with his mama.
One día Mama said, "William Everett, now that tu have nice cocodrilo teeth, we must go to Mr. Hippo's store and get tu a toothbrush before tu start school tomorrow."


William Everett liked Mr. Hippo's store because it was full of things. He and Mama walked up one aisle and down another.
They stopped in front of the toothbrush counter. "You may choose your own toothbrush, William Everett," Mama said.
William Everett looked and looked.

"Hi!" dicho a toothbrush. "What's your name?"
"My name's William Everett. What's yours?"...
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There used to be an alligator under my bed.

When it was time to go to sleep, I had to be very careful

because I knew he was there.

But whenever I looked, he hid...or something.

So I'd call Mom and Dad.

But they never saw it.

It was up to me.
I just had to do something about that alligator.

So I went to the cocina to get some alligator bait.

I filled a paper bag full of things alligators like to eat.

I put a maní, cacahuete mantequilla sandwich, some frutas and the last piece of pie in the garage.

I put galletas down the hall.

I left fresh vegetables on the stairs.

I put soda and some dulces siguiente to my bed.
Then I watched...
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posted by hornean
There was once a very unbeautiful, very rocky, rotten island. It had acres of sharp gravel and volcanoes that belched fuego and smoke, spewed hot lava, and spat poison arrows and double-headed toads.


The spiny, thorny, twisted plants that grew there had never a flor of any kind.
There was an earthquake an hour, black tornadoes, lightning sprees with racking thunder, squalls, cyclones, and dust storms.

At night it froze; all the living things stopped moving and turned to ice. But the volcanoes kept exploding, and the lightest breeze was a hurricane. At sunrise everything thawed out and moved again....
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posted by hornean
Tugford loved outlaws. In the movies, outlaws always had the most fun.


Playing outlaw was Tugford's favorito! game. He liked pretending and played outlaw every day.

One afternoon Mother and Father went visiting neighbors, leaving Tugford inicial to play. Tugford had an idea. Wouldn't it be fun to be a real outlaw instead of just pretending? he thought.


Tugford rummaged through his toy box and found everything he needed for a costume.

He put on his costume and looked at himself in the mirror. "I'm Tug the Terrible," he said, "and I want to be bad."


Tug the Terrible tiptoed through the house looking for...
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Horace P. Blumpoe was a grump. Everyone in his neighborhood thought so. They all called him Blumpoe the Grumpoe.


"Wanda Huggins, I'm going to reportar you!" he growled at the paper girl whenever his newspaper didn't land exactly in the middle of his front porch.

"You dented my can!" he yelled at Norman the garbage man.

"I expect my mail at three o'clock sharp!" he fussed at Roger, the postman.

Almost everyone knew better than to ring his doorbell on Halloween.


The only things Horace P. Blumpoe wasn't grumpy about were his sister, Edith, whom he visited every año in Saint Cloud, Minnesota, and his...
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I was never afraid of anything when we lived in the city, but now we live on a farm.

At night when the lights go out, I get scared,

because I can hear

a nightmare in the attic

right above my head.

It doesn't seem to bother Mom and Dad.

They say it's probably mice.

But it sounds too big to be mice.

I decided to lasso that nightmare and bring it down to mostrar them.

I'd just be Valiente and sneak quietly into the attic with my lasso ready.

It wasn't there.
But I noticed a bunch of toys I though were lost lying in a pile behind some boxes.

Something weird was going on for sure.
Then I heard it creeping up the stairs....
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Amos is an old dog

who lives on an old couch

in an old house


that used to be filled with activity.


Once the kids were all grown up and had moved away, things were kind of quiet.

Mr. and Mrs. Bobson went out a lot...

but they never took Amos with them anymore.


"Where do they go?" Amos wondered.
"If only I could go along," he thought.

One día after the Bobsons had gone out,
Amos was awakened por a loud, persistent BUZZZZZZZZ.


He hadn't caught a fly in years,
but he decided to give it a try.

He tried and he tried.
Finally, he went after it with his paw.

He missed the fly but had hit something else, for suddenly......
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Moe the dog was cold. His breath turned to ice on his whiskers. His ears were warm, but his earmuffs gave him a headache.
"I can't stand this," he dicho to his best friend Arlene. "A whole week's vacation to sit around and freeze."
"I can't stand it either," Arlene mumbled through her muffler. "Let's take in a movie."
So they trudged through the snow to see what was playing at the Roxy.


It turned out to be a double feature: Polar Voyage and Whales of the Arctic. Halfway through the first feature the heat broke down.
"Can tu believe this?" groaned Moe. His palomitas de maiz, palomitas de maíz had frozen solid. "The cine were...
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posted by hornean
Once upon a time there was a very old man and a very old woman. They lived in a nice clean house which had flores all around it, except where the door was. But they couldn't be happy because they were so very lonely.


"If we only had a cat!" sighed the very old woman.
"A cat?" asked the very old man.
"Yes, a sweet little fluffy cat," dicho the very old woman.
"I will get tu a cat, my dear," dicho the very old man.

And he set out over the hills to look for one. He climbed over the sunny hills. He trudged through the cool valleys. He walked a long, long time and at last he came to a colina which was...
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posted by hornean
One afternoon at an elegant garden party, young Elbert heard a word he had never heard before.


The word floated por Elbert like a small storm cloud. It was ugly and covered with dark, bristly hairs. With a rápido, swift flick of his wrist, Elbert snatched the word from the air and stuffed it into his back pocket.


Forgetting about it, the boy went on his way. But the word waited patiently. When Aunt Isabella sang opera in soprano, the word made itself small and flew into Elbert's mouth like a little gnat.


That's when the trouble began. Chives the Butler tried to balance too many trays of deviled eggs.

He...
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posted by hornean
Big tears rolled down Katy Kangaroo's brown face. Poor Katy was crying because she didn't have a pocket like other mother kangaroos. Freddy was Katy Kangaroo's little boy and he needed a pocket to ride in. All grown-up kangaroos take awfully big hops and little kangaroos, like Freddy, get left far behind unless their mothers have nice pockets to carry them in.
And poor Katy didn't have any pocket at all.


Katy canguro cried just thinking about it, and Freddy cried, too.
Then, all of a sudden, Katy had a wonderful idea! It was so wonderful she jumped six feet up in the air.
The idea was this. Other...
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