Reign recap: 'Pulling Strings' 

Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots, and Henry Stuart, Lord Darnley, cordially invite you, dear Royals, to attend an

depressing wedding. It’s black tie optional and they’ll be serving whatever remaining part of Mary’s soul exists after marrying someone for reasons other than true love. Seriously, the music Mary walks down the aisle to is appropriate for a whole slew of non-wedding events, like, for instance, a beheading. 

So if Mary really doesn’t want to marry Darnley, why doesn’t she call the whole thing off? Well, she considers it for awhile. She has Catherine plot as to how they can placate all the nobles and world leaders who just rolled into Scotland for the big day. Catherine’s big plan, of course, is to shower them with money and jewels. Makes sense. Mary is cool with this option but still wants Catherine to hold off until she’s really ready to pull the trigger.

It’s a good thing she pumps the breaks on stopping the wedding. Not too long after, Mary finds out she’s pregnant with Darnley’s child. This is the heir spoken about in the prophecy, the heir that will reign over a peaceful and united Scotland and England. If she doesn’t marry Darnley and make it look like this child was conceived in wedlock, the child will be deemed illegitimate and all hope is lost. Mary knows there is no way around it — she has to marry Darnley. It’s a shame, too, because just moments after learning she’s knocked up, Bothwell arrives to profess his love. He knows it’s crazy, but there are only a few episodes in the show left and he has to make his move! He thinks he could be her great love and that together they could figure out a way around all that prophecy stuff. They make out, it’s hot, but Mary has other things to deal with.

The main one being: Just where the heck is Darnley? As all the wedding guests gather for some pre-wedding festivities, the groom is nowhere to be found. Oh, hey, remember that creepy, long-haired man who found Mary in the woods and delivered that prophecy from Bash? Well, his name is David Rizzio, and it turns out that when his hair is washed and he hasn’t been wandering in the woods for days at a time, he is the best. He is loving court life, will protect Mary at all costs, knows the importance of eating cake, and completely fangirls over meeting Catherine de Medici. Rizzio is all of us. He also says wonderful things like, “No one gives a damn about the groom.” And with that, Mary opens the festivities herself.

Eventually, James arrives with news that Darnley is in some sort of top-secret meeting. How did he glean such information? Through Operation Sex Up Emily Knox, of course! While out on his latest rendezvous with the protestant leader’s wife — Emily, by the way, is in way too deep with James — James discovers that Knox was helping Keira’s husband, Lord White, figure out a way to murder Darnley to avenge his deceased wife while Darnley was going to be alone at a meeting. James stops the murdering, but can’t figure out just who or where Darnley is meeting. Mary is sure Darnley’s mother would know, so she sends her best interrogator — Catherine, obviously — to pull the intel from Lady Lennox.

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