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posted by black_magics
1.The 'poke' button on facebook is awesome...
But I think there should be a 'stab' button...

2.was riding a horse yesterday and fell off. I almost got killed! THANK GOODNESS
the Walmart greeter saw what happened and came over and unplugged it.

3. anyone who says "nothing is impossible" has obviously never
tried to staple jello to a tree.

4.Text someone and tell them "Hey, I lost my phone, can tu call it?"
and see how many people call it

5. 3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape,
and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier's face: Priceless!...
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1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When tu sleep over never boss me around in cama unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If tu don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” o “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If tu want sex, just ask. (In case tu didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with más than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are tu busy?" o "Are tu doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all día but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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I got bored, so here tu go.


1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here por my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...
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posted by cute20k
1. Dial a misceláneo number and confuse the person who respuestas por saying things like;
"Why did tu call me?", "How's Billy Bob?", "Thank's for last night! (make kissy noises in phone", "I'm sorry to hear about your loss (hang up immediately)", "What happened to your mother is horrible! I'm so sorry she had to leave us on that note!", etc.

2. Look up misceláneo statements in foreign languages and recite the statements to those who speak the language.

3. Post a misceláneo articulo like this.

4. At walmart o somewhere similar, go up to an obese woman, o a man for extra affect, and wish them good luck with...
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A
Abbess
Ablaze
Ace
Acid
Adamant
Aegis
Airspeed
Alaczar (Spanish: Fortress)
AlleyCat
Animus
Anti-Matter Man
Aqualung (guy with frog powers)
Arc
ArchAngel
Argus
armadillo
Arsenal
Asmodeus
Astra
Atomaestro
Avion
Axe (a brick with an axe)

B
BackFlash
tejón
Ballistique
Banelord
Baron K
barracuda
Basalt
Battery
Bile
Billy Blue Blazes (a speedster)
Bird of Prey
Black Adept
Blackbody
Black halcón (Brick/Martial Artist)
Black Light
Blackmane
BlackShadow
Blackthorne
Black lobo
Blade Song
Blast Off
Bloodletter
Bloodstone (a magic-based mentalist with a crystal...
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posted by iluvsmj
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at tu trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but tu my friend!! yes you!! tu CAN kiss MY ASS*******

If tu didn't have feet tu wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do tu wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for tu %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...
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posted by chowjoyi
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If tu have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your friends come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary friends that tu ask their opinion of everything.

7. After tu have your bath, envolver, abrigo a bath towel around tu and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...
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added by ice2504
Source: Friends<3
added by SummerThunder
added by Lorinna
Source: Stumbleupon
added by 27-5
1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers tu know.
12.Strangers tu don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to borrar above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
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posted by ginny_potter_97
1.    Sell your old stuff at a garaje sale. You'll clean out your room and make a little cash at the same time.
2.    See one of those big blockbuster summer movies. Bonus points if it's in 3-D.
3.    Make a bird feeder and wait for someone to stop por and check it out. (It'll probably be a bird.)
4.    Fill up some of your community service hours.
5.    Lay out por the public pool (with plenty of sunscreen on, of course).
6.    Set up your sprinkler in the backyard (or the front...
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1. Do tu like pie?

2. Are you, o have tu ever been a squirrel?

3. Are tu afraid of Pancakes?

4. Are tu a people person o a person people?

5. How many months are in a watermelon?

6. Have tu ever wondered what it would be like if tu were an apple?

7. Have tu ever wanted to know if your best friend was a Nazi, too?

8. Can tu get me a soda?

9. Why is water so dry?

10. Have tu ever wanted to be and Illegal Alien from Outer Mexico? (No offense to Mexicans)

11. Are people actually rabid horses?

12. Have tu ever eaten the ear of a snake?

13. Do tu have a sword handy?

14. Do tu like pie?

15. Am I weird...
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50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time tu turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him o her that you’ve lost your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he o she has anything...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Organize a bunch of people in one class to emit a low humming noise, keeping straight faces.
Organize a whole bunch of people to fall off their chairs at the same time.
Organize a whole bunch of people to drop their pencils/pens at a preset time.
Superglue quarters to the floor, count how many people try to pick them up.
Write fake amor notes and slip them into people's lockers
If someone near tu falls asleep in class, tie their shoelaces to the desk/chair.
Lay a paper towel roll on the floor at the parte superior, arriba of the steps and give it a kick, making sure you've taped the loose end to the floor already....
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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my lista of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let tu know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything o eating anything tu might spit it o something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the escoba late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bahía they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorite...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome friends and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time tu read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though tu may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't amor you, my love.

I loved tu with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Tell her that theres a robber outside and point to a guy in black.

2. Say its snowing and repeat it 3 times. Then, say mom are tu listening? 15 times.

3. Ask her, "Do tu like me?" over and over

4. Tell your phone to die.

5. Don't blow your nose when shes asks tu to.

6. Make weird faces when she asks tu to get off your PC.

7. Whine to her about your PC/laptop.

8. Call your mom about her day.

9. Break something that your mother brought you.

10. If somebody's at the door, and your inicial alone, answer it.

11. Call your mother, father.

12. Call your mom for no reason.

13. When its a night before your...
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