37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines
1. I wish tu were a door so I could slam tu all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do tu work for UPS? I thought I saw tu checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy tu a drink o do tu just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted cama Thrasher: have tu seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make tu the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and tu can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish tu were a poni, pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride tu all día long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how tu look when I'm naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings o the stairway to heaven?
14. tu might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
15. Are those real?
16. tu must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing tu do with your tongue.
18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be tu por morning.
19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
20. tu know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
22. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name jerez Titsbottom?
23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
25. Do tu believe in amor at first sight o should I walk por again?
26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone dicho tu were looking for me.
27. My friend wants to know if tu think I'M cute.
28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
29. My name isn't Elmo, but tu can tickle me anytime tu want to.
30. I know leche does a body good, but DAMN, how much have tu been drinking?
31. If tu were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't tu like pizza?
33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go inicial without me.
34. Do tu sleep on your stomach? Can I???
35. Do tu wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
36. I lost my puppy. Can tu help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get tu out of these wet clothes.
1. I wish tu were a door so I could slam tu all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do tu work for UPS? I thought I saw tu checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy tu a drink o do tu just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted cama Thrasher: have tu seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make tu the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and tu can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish tu were a poni, pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride tu all día long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how tu look when I'm naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings o the stairway to heaven?
14. tu might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
15. Are those real?
16. tu must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing tu do with your tongue.
18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be tu por morning.
19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
20. tu know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
22. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name jerez Titsbottom?
23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
25. Do tu believe in amor at first sight o should I walk por again?
26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone dicho tu were looking for me.
27. My friend wants to know if tu think I'M cute.
28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
29. My name isn't Elmo, but tu can tickle me anytime tu want to.
30. I know leche does a body good, but DAMN, how much have tu been drinking?
31. If tu were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't tu like pizza?
33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go inicial without me.
34. Do tu sleep on your stomach? Can I???
35. Do tu wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
36. I lost my puppy. Can tu help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get tu out of these wet clothes.
This prank doesn't need anything but a friend who understands dirty jokes and yourself.
You: Okay, say the word 'addicted' every time I pause, alright?
Friend: Okay.
You: Money...
Friend: Addicted.
You: TV...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Candy...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Hitting people in the face with an iron...
Friend: ...addicted...
By this point tu need to come up with several different others to get them to barely even notice what they're "addicted" to.
You: Soda?
Friend: Addicted...
You: What hit tu in the face last night?
Friend: Addicted...
The look that will come over their face will be absolutely priceless.
Try it out!
-Ray
You: Okay, say the word 'addicted' every time I pause, alright?
Friend: Okay.
You: Money...
Friend: Addicted.
You: TV...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Candy...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Hitting people in the face with an iron...
Friend: ...addicted...
By this point tu need to come up with several different others to get them to barely even notice what they're "addicted" to.
You: Soda?
Friend: Addicted...
You: What hit tu in the face last night?
Friend: Addicted...
The look that will come over their face will be absolutely priceless.
Try it out!
-Ray
I run my fastest
But still get beat.
I land on my head
When I should be on my feet.
I try to mover forward‚
But I am stuck in rewind.
Why do I keep at it?
I won't be left behind.
The harder I am thrown‚
The higher I bounce.
I give it my all‚
And that's all that counts.
In first place‚
Myself‚ I seldom find.
So I push to the limit-
I won't be left behind.
Some people tell me tu can't‚
Some say don't.
Some simply give up.
I reply‚ I won't
The power is here‚
Locked away in my mind.
My perserverance is my excellence‚
I won't be left behind.
Make the best of each moment‚
The future is soon the past.
The más I tell myself this‚
The less I come in last.
Throughout my competitions‚
I've learned what winning is about.
A plain and clear lesson-
Giving up is the wasy way out.
So every night before I go to bed‚
I hope in a small way I have shined.
Tomorrow is a brand-new day‚
And I won't be left behind.
This is not mine‚ it was written por Sara Nachtman
But still get beat.
I land on my head
When I should be on my feet.
I try to mover forward‚
But I am stuck in rewind.
Why do I keep at it?
I won't be left behind.
The harder I am thrown‚
The higher I bounce.
I give it my all‚
And that's all that counts.
In first place‚
Myself‚ I seldom find.
So I push to the limit-
I won't be left behind.
Some people tell me tu can't‚
Some say don't.
Some simply give up.
I reply‚ I won't
The power is here‚
Locked away in my mind.
My perserverance is my excellence‚
I won't be left behind.
Make the best of each moment‚
The future is soon the past.
The más I tell myself this‚
The less I come in last.
Throughout my competitions‚
I've learned what winning is about.
A plain and clear lesson-
Giving up is the wasy way out.
So every night before I go to bed‚
I hope in a small way I have shined.
Tomorrow is a brand-new day‚
And I won't be left behind.
This is not mine‚ it was written por Sara Nachtman