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posted by BlackSunshine
Something I got in an e-mail. Still pretty funny. Especially since I've done a few...

1. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open por themselves.

2. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call tu Admiral.

3. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until tu hear the penny tu dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

4. Do Tai Chi exercises.

5. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

6. Meow occasionally....
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posted by cute20k
Do tu have a dirty mind?

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause tu to spit and ask tu not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?







A dentist

2. A finger goes in me. tu fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?






A wedding ring

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?






Peanut butter

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. tu blow me hard . What am I?






Chewing gum

5. All día long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?






An elevator

6. I...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
found on different websites, but crazy baby names have been driving me nuts. Time to get the word out that parents need to stop and think before they let the doctor put pen to paper.

Al Bino (albino)
Amanda Lynn (a mandolin)
Anna Sassin (an assassin)
Annie Howe (any how)
Barb Dwyer (barbed wire)
Barry Cade (barricade)
Ben Dover (bend over)
Brighton Early (bright and early)
Brock Lee (broccoli)
Chris cruzar, cruz (criss-cross)
Chris P. tocino, bacon (crispy bacon)
Constance Noring (constant snoring)
Crystal Ball
Crystal Claire Waters (crystal clear waters)
Dan Druff (dandruff)
Richard Burns (dick burns)
Richard...
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posted by TeamSongz4eva
Pros

* No one can overhear your conversation
* Can get away with it while your Phone is on silent
* the use of smileys
* helps improve use of keyboard (in my opinion)
* can do it whenever
* takes the place of fone calls


Cons
* nosy peeps may read over your shoulder
* some people just dont know how to spell
* parent dont get why us teens are so addicted to this
*the person tu texted doesnt reply till the siguiente day:((



ok this was my first own idea articulo and i wanna know if tu would still like a look inside my mind on what i think about things<33

TheBee
posted by karpach_13
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. tu have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin


Even if happiness forgets tu a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert


If tu want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy


Happiness is never stopping to think if tu are. ~Palmer Sondreal


Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain


If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton


Happiness...
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posted by karpach_13
101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuto intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people tu can get
to registrarse in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department por sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as tu see fit.

9. When there are...
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posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that tu just wanna puñetazo, ponche in the face , then someohow , tu end up in a relationship with them , tu fall in amor , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing tu want to burn either (:]) Well if tu still have feelings for that person im gonna help tu get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap tu guys (: , ohk so tu could first start off por doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave tu on fuego ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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posted by edwardcarlisle
 1st
1st
I saw a pick where it dicho "What else should fanpop have?" created por breebree446. There was the option of "Unsubscribe Button". Actually this button exists, just have to follow some steps.

1. Go to your own perfil and go down to the "My Clubs" part.

2. Then click on the "more clubes >>" button.

3. Below each club there's an "unsuscribe" button.

4. Click on that button and

...

That's it!

Now tu have the oportunity to unsuscribe a club, is really easy and like this tu won't be a fan any más from any club!
 2nd
2nd
 3rd
3rd
 4th
4th
1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up por canto playa Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say tu taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10....
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posted by boomerlover
Yo Mama So Stupid I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder...

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her butt weighs 50 pounds.

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went inicial and got 16 friends.

Yo mama so stupid when your dad dicho it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to cama to see how long she slept.

Yo mama so stupid she estola free bread.

Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio.

Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and...
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added by 3xZ
added by hetalianstella
posted by bubblegumm16
THE BOYFRIEND GUIDE
1) She walks away from tu mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes tu o hits tu *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to tu first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her friends house *prank call her*

THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes tu *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets tu wear his clothing *he likes tu in his stuff*
7) If tu are tired of waiting for him to make the first mover *make it yourself*
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added by myau
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Source: tumblr
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added by tanyya
added by fanfly
Source: weareforensic.co.uk
added by TheLefteris24