misceláneo Tumblr Posts

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program. The siguiente day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 año old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If tu can catch me, tu can have me."

Without a segundo thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the siguiente four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs...

i wanna tell tu something and tu better listen good here.If there's something tu really enjoy and tu have a huge dream that your really passionate about then go after it.Don't be afraid to follow your corazón because your corazón will lead tu to the right direction.Don't let anyone discourage tu and idc who the heck they are.You are always going to meet 2 people in your life.One person will discourage tu and tell tu that tu are never gonna make it and the other person will encourage tu to follow tu dreams and will believe in you.They will want tu to follow your dreams.So listen to that...

I'm not trying to be abusive in any way, I just found this. I didn't write this.


Approximately 1-2% of humans, o about two in 100 people in the world, have red hair.j
The ancient Greeks believed that redheads would turn into vampiros after they died.i
Otherwise dark hair may turn red o blond in cases of severe protein deficiency due to starvation.c
Red is the rarest hair color in humans
The most rare hair color in humans is red.b
During the Middle Ages, a child with red hair was thought to be conceived during “unclean sex” o during menstruation.b
Red hair doesn’t gray as much as other hair...

This pato walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do tu have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the pato leaves.

The siguiente day, the pato returns and asks, "Do tu have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the pato leaves.

The día after that, the pato walks in the store again and asks "Do tu have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told tu no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if tu come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read preguntas aloud, debate your respuestas with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that tu can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this pregunta on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into...

Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make amor with tu
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until tu find your contact lens.
Punch the body and tell people that he hit tu first.
Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
Ask someone to take a snapshot of tu shaking hands with the deceased.
At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.
Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.
Ask the widow to give tu a kiss.
Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask...