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posted by pure-angel
Dost thou amor life?
Then do not squander time,
for that is the stuff life is made of.
Benjamin Franklin

Life is either a daring adventure o nothing.
Helen Keller

Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt tu represents determinism; the way tu play it is free will.
Jawaharal Nehru








Life is like the dice that, falling, still mostrar a different face. So life, though it remains the same, is always presenting different aspects.
Alexis

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, o oso, oso de its troubles patiently.
Palladas

The geat blessing of mankind are within us and...
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posted by Thecharliejay
100 Ways to Annoy People
1.Get to know a friends bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
2.Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
3.Call other people "Champ" o "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
4.Drum on every available surface.
5.Sing the batman theme incessantly.
6.Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
7.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
8.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
9.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
10.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
11.Insist on giving...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says,

'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, tu can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, toro Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
Neon lips, blue eyeshadow, shimmering glitter, and golden bronzers: This spring, some of the most dramatic looks we saw on the runways are making their way onto our faces. But not everything we dabble on pleases everyone. We had a hunch that some of our biggest beauty obsessions might be turn-offs for guys...so we went ahead asked. Prepare yourself: brutal honesty ensues.

1. Heavy foundation and powders:"The inch-thick powder is a huge turn-off," says Maxim senior editor Nick Leftley. "No guy wants to kiss a girl on the cheek and then find he¹s wearing foundation himself." A flaking face is...
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posted by shomill
M R snakes.
M A no snakes.
O S M R snakes.
CDBDI's?
O S! M R snakes!
AAAAAAAAAA!

-My dad told me this one years and years ago. I'd almost forgotten it until tonight. Here's another one:

Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and liddlamszy divy.

-The answer: Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy.

And an old knock-knock joke:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
plátano who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
plátano who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
plátano who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
naranja who?
naranja tu glad I didn't say plátano again?

Hope tu had fun!
posted by alismouha
My dear son...

I send tu this letter,if it doesn't reach you,tell me so I can re-send it.

I'm escritura this as slowly as I can,because I am aware that tu can't read quickly.

I will send this to tu with your brother,he is asleep now,so I'll put it in his pocket,if he forgets to hand it to you,reach in and take it.

The weather is really great here,it only rained a couple of times last week,the first time it lasted 4 days,and the segundo one it was only 3 days.

About the leather chaqueta tu wanted me to send to you,it was going to cost me a fortune to ship because its buttons were too heavy,so I cut...
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posted by darkkhorn19
It was around 12:30 and I was at the grocery, I was busy getting some apples when a teenage boy goes over to me and hands me a cold bottle of water and a magazine. I thanked him, but apon lectura the magazine it was full of lies. It was trying to convert me to Christianity, so before I drank the water, I threw the ice-cold water in his face, dropped the magazine, and dicho "If your so-called "God" exsisted, why didn't he stop me from doing that?" The boy simply replied "Because your denying his love". Right away, I replied "Oh please, If there was a God, I bet tu he'd rather prefer a good honest Athiest than a preacher on Televison going around lying about his healing powers". He was angered "And how do tu know who God would prefer?!" If it was even possible at the time, I was calmer than before and answered. "The very same way the bible was made". I smiled warmly as I saw him stomp away with anger.
1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up por canto playa Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say tu taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10....
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DO tu wanna know reasons why Alice Cullen is better then any werewolf out there ( espeshally Leah Clearwater)???? Well read on to see 10 reasons why.............



Oh ya if your a Leah Clearwater fan then tu might not wanna read this but if tu do and it affends tu then leave a comentario and i can tell tu in person why your sooo stupid and ya i worned tu so..................

TEN REASONS WHY ALICE IS BETTER THEN LEAH!!!

1. Alice is acually nice unlike Leah who made Bella cry for no reason at all ( Breaking Dawn)

2. Leah doesn't care about other people she only cares about herself well Alice does...
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posted by boomerlover
Yo Mama So Stupid I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder...

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her butt weighs 50 pounds.

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went inicial and got 16 friends.

Yo mama so stupid when your dad dicho it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to cama to see how long she slept.

Yo mama so stupid she estola free bread.

Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio.

Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and...
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added by Cyrusrocks
posted by karolinak1999
I'm saying this speech on he 4th of September 2013(unless the teacher forgets o something like that) I am aginst 2 boys....my chances are okay...


"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen we are gathered here today to learn Irish, but we took some time off that to choose a new class leader.

For starters I would like to compliment my fellow rivals Atrio and Liam, for their good effort - Liam tu even prepared a speech, very impressive

Now..I realise the privelage to have the honour torepresent your class, however I am confident that I will be a great candidate.

I'm taking part in this not only to add...
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posted by Canada24
1: (Pilot)
FAther: Son have tu been lectura Heresy?! (pumps shotgun) Unacceptable!
Son: (High Pitched Scream)

2:
Father: What did tu do?!
Son: I made us eggs.
Father: ... WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!
Son: Wha-
Father: WE ONLY EAT pan de molde, pan FOR FUCK SAKES!!

3:
Father: Son I'm getting milk
Son: Will tu be back?!
Father: (opens front door) ... No
(Later that Evening, Father is still gone):
Son: I can't believe he's actually gone! (phone rings) Father?!
Voice: No this is your old coach
Son: Oh.. Uh hello
Voice: So, your back on the NBA
Son: Really? How-
Father: (literary teleports out of nowhere) YOUR BACK IN THE...
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added by MeiMisty
posted by josephlindquist
The various budget modelos that will continue to be used fall into categories 1) budget line items (traditional budgeting), 2) performance budgeting, 3) programming / programming budgeting (PPB), 4) zero budgeting (ZBB) and 5) location-based budgeting. In reciente years, some companies have developed alternative budgeting systems (incremental budgets), including zero-based budgets (ZBB) and activity-based budgets (ABB).
Zero-based budgeting (ZBB) is an alternative to the traditional budgeting approach used por governments and non-profit organizations. Zero-based budgets, on the other hand, work...
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added by Kuro_Hyou666
A lot of people, including non-comic fans, think that Christopher Nolan's batman films are well-made, high-class films. In fact, several versions of Batman, including the 60's mostrar and 90's films, are treated as if they're inferior and not worth taking seriously.

However, I, whatsupbugs, am one of Batman's más obsessive and geeky fans and I'd like to propose a theory. It's a crazy theory, but I still believe in it. My theory is that the 1991 comedy film, Alyas batman en Robin, is better than Christopher Nolan's highly-acclaimed trilogy.

You're probably already confused and tu might think...
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Birds Of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation Of One Harley Quinn is the 8th film of the DC Extended Universe. The film stars Harley Quinn, along with one of the Batgirls (Cassandra Cain), three members of the Birds of Prey (Office Montoya, Black Canary, and Huntress), and the villainous Black Mask.

Where the Characters Came From

Harley Quinn didn't come from the comics. She was created por Paul Dini and Bruce Timm for the 1992 show, Batman: The Animated Series. She was so popular, that she became a regular characters in the comics. Renee Montoya was also a creation of Batman: The Animated...
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added by MeiMisty