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Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.


Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable por the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby...
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474 Things To Do When You're Bored


- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a cama of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your almohada X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of...
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posted by bubbletl
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If tu have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal por conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what tu think."

7. Claim that tu must always wear a bicycle casco as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...
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posted by evangelinetom
101 Ways to
Annoy Your Roomate

1. Insist that tu are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the cama holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say tu know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors por your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as tu can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep...
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posted by MarMar_XigLux
What Being a Retard Online can do for You

Being a retard online will bring tu riches beyond your wildest dreams, hot girls and above all - attention: tu crave attention, tu absorb it like a wet sponge...Ah yes, tu may very suffer from ADHD but it doesn't matter: no my friend, because por being a retard online tu can get all the attention tu need for a small fee.

Poor Literacy is Kool!

If tu want to be a retard tu must learn to spell like one, remember kids - poor literacy is cool! First of all we must take a lesson from the Image comics of old and remember that everything must be EXTREME!...
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posted by tamar20
Have tu ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they want to kill you? Then this articulo is right for you! Hahaha. tu know I've tried most of them and it does work. :P

1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that tu have to go to the bathroom, and that tu think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are tu doing okay in there?". To make it even más annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you...
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posted by Bananaaddict
This lista was emailed to me. I thought some of them were pretty clever, so I decided to post it. My favoritos are 3, 5, 22, and 23! Enjoy. :)

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round mesa, tabla was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much tu push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth...
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posted by Thecharliejay
100 Ways to Annoy People
1.Get to know a friends bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
2.Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
3.Call other people "Champ" o "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
4.Drum on every available surface.
5.Sing the batman theme incessantly.
6.Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
7.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
8.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
9.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
10.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
11.Insist on giving...
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posted by yukikiyruu
Sleeping Beauty: Perfect for the sleepyheads.
Dolly Wholly: This name is perfect for the well-dressed girl.
Honey Bunny: Ideal for your playful girlfriend.
Cutsie Wootsie: This cute name is excellent to say when tu are pinching her cheeks with both hands.
Pretty Eyes: If your girlfriend has crystal-clear, beautiful eyes, then tu may call her por this cute name.
Princess: It is a perfect name for your girlfriend, if she has that little girl spirit.
Pumpkin: This name can be used for casual moments.
Doll Face: This name is perfect for a girl with a cute face.
Beautiful: It is a simple but effective...
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posted by coolkatstar
Below are 4 questions. Answer them instantly. tu can't take your time. Answer them immediately. No pencil o paper! OK?

Let's find out just how smart and clever tu really are.

Ready? ...

GO!!!


FIRST QUESTION: tu are participating in a race. tu overtake the segundo person. What position are tu in?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

ANSWER: If tu answer that tu are first, then tu are absolutely wrong! If tu overtake the segundo person and tu take his place, tu are second! Try not to screw up in the siguiente question.

To answer the segundo question, don't take as much
time as tu took for the first question.

SECOND...
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posted by spunkyonyx
hola guys, found some interesting and strange facts, some are just facts I have known a long time ago(school, wandering around websites), others are ones that I have found, I apply the fuente if available. Any others tu may want to add up feel free to do so. Enjoy!

1) Coca-cola was once green.
It was green because it was accidentally carbonated when a clerk squirted syrup into the wrong glass.

2)Barbie doll measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. Wow... she's cut from the team.

3)Intelligent people have más zinc and copper in their hair. *Checks... Woot!

4)You blink about 84 million times...
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1. mover the refrigerator into the bathroom (preferably in the bath tub)

2. Hang outside from an upstairs window

3. mover all of your furniture into their room and when they return home, insist that your imaginary friend needed some personal el espacio so tu have to mover into their room

4. Decorate the roof with glitter and ketchup.

5. Carve the lyrics of Elmo's song into every tree.

6. Mow the lawn in certain places to create the word 'pie'

7. Memorize pi, then illustrate it on a large sheet of paper insisting that your mother hangs it on the fridge.

8. Replace all 'grade A' papers hung up on the fridge...
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posted by Mel4ever
GIrls only (or gay guys..) yea both So tu have to read this now....haha for girls eyes only here all girls! hola girls! IF YOU'RE A BOY, LEAVE THIS CUZ IT RUINS EVERYTHING GIRL TALK: Did tu know besar is healthy. It's good to cry. Chicken sopa actually makes tu feel better. 94% of boys would amor it if tu sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. Only apply mascara to your parte superior, arriba lashes. It's actually true, boys DO insult tu when they like you! 89% of guys want tu to make the 1st move. Ya but 99.99% of girls want guys to make the first move. chocolate will make tu feel better! Most...
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posted by catgirl140
79 Things to do in an Elevator (Soooo funny)

1. Crack open your maletín o handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the muro without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him o her to call tu Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I...
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posted by cutiegirl01
1. Pretend that your escritorio is a drum and ur pencils are drum sticks.

2. Randomly hypervenlate out of no where.

3. when ur teacher asks if there are an questains on the testhomework shout out 'WHAT'S THE ANSWER TO # 10!'

4. break your pencil on purpse in front of them when there talking then get up and sharpen it.

5. If they ask tu to guess theyre age (no they wont) guess 10 years older then u really think.

6. On ur paper write a misceláneo año and someone elses name and write ur name on a smart kids.

7. Talk to people u hate in class constently then when they tell u to stup up say 'they're bugging me!'...
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posted by karpach_13
101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuto intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people tu can get
to registrarse in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department por sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as tu see fit.

9. When there are...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere ?
‘Hold my purse.’

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have dado us tickets.

Girls are like phones. We amor to be held, talked too but if tu press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!

I’m very Valiente generally, he went on in a low voice: “Only today I happen...
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posted by milorox18
WARNING: MAY NEED TISSUES FOR THESE:

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy:No, this is fun.

Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy:Then tell me tu amor me.

Girl:I amor you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can tu take off my casco and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the siguiente day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his casco so that she would live even if he died.
posted by Hollestercutie
All with [x] apply to me all with r idks


I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

[x]I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.(yep)

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION,...
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added by 3xZ