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posted by E-Scope90
Historically, sweat has been an active ingredient in perfume and amor potions.g
In Bali, men believed a woman would fall in amor if her suitor fed her a certain kind of leaf incised with the image of a god who sported a very large penis.e
The Mexican chief Montezuma considered chocolate a “love drug” and drank 50 cups of chocolate a día before visiting his harem of 600 women.a
Scientists suggest that most people will fall in amor approximately seven times before marriage.h
Some individuals who claim never to have felt romantic amor suffer from hypopituitarism, a rare disease that doesn’t...
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posted by LaurieLisa717
Aquarius January 20 -February 18

Your element: Air

Your ruling planets: Uranus

Symbol: The Water Bearer

Your stone: Amethyst

Life Pursuit: To understand life's mysteries

Vibration: High frequency

Aquarian's Secret Desire: To be unique and original


Pisces February 19 -March 20

Your element: Water

Your ruling planets: Neptune

Symbol: The Fish

Your stone: Bloodstone

Life Pursuit: To avoid feeling alone and instead feel connected to others and the world at large

Vibration: Erratic Energy levels

Pisces Secret Desire: To live their dreams and turn fantasies into realities.


Aries March 21 -April 19

Your element:...
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posted by Surfer_Girl_16
._. o (._.) indecisive
:-) o =] o :) o =) o :] o :^) o :D o :^D Smile o happy
:-L o =L o o¬o Drool o Zombie. Being tired.
,':Y An inquisitive duck.
:-( o =( o D: o D= Frown o Sad
<3 )~ A mouse
xP o XP Straining, disgust, bad joke, dead, dead from laughing, silliness
xD o XD Laughing hard (often taken as Cartman from the television
show South Park)
X8 laughing hard while covering mouth with hands
:S o :s o =S o =s confused
:Þ o :þ o =b o =Þ happy, dropped jaw, raspberry
:/ o : o =/ o = Skepticism, annoyance, uneasiness, o a slight
frown; dissatisfaction, lack of favourable...
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posted by Surfer_Girl_16
tu can be the maní, cacahuete mantequilla to my jelly
You can be the mariposas I feel in my belly
You can be the captain
And I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that I feel on our first date
You can be the hero
And I can be your sidekick
You can be the tear That I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the nube when it's stormin'
Or u can be the sun when it shines in the mornin'

Chorus
Don't know if I could ever be Without you
'Cause boy tu complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see That we're all we need
Cause you're the manzana, apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my...
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posted by IloveMyLord
Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. amor yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.
Cherie-Carter Scotts
Trust opens up new and unimagined possibilities.
Robert C. Solomon
Many people are blind to trust, not so much to its benefits as to its nature and the practices that make it possible.
Robert C. Solomon
All trust involves vulnerability and risk, and nothing would count as trust if there were no possibility of betrayal.
Robert C. Solomon
Trust is a skill, one that is an aspect of virtually all human practices, cultures, and relationships.
Robert C. Solomon
Trust is a...
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posted by hetaliaitaly
1.Ride mechanical caballos with coins fished out of the reflecting pool.

2.Try pants on backwards and Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

3.At any clothing Stores take Heeps of stuff into the dressing room take an ipod o something and play on it while ur bored and when its time to close say "I STILL HAVE TO TRY STUFF ON IDIOT".

4.Sneeze on the comida sample's they have in woolworths.

5.At the bottom of an escalator, scream, “My shoelaces! Augh!” and pretend your stuck.

6.Ask the sales personnel at the música store whether tu can get a CD that tu know they dont have and ask really...
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posted by IloveMyLord
Remember, tu don't forgive someone for his o her sake - tu forgive them for your sake. (On a side note, I just read that as "sake", the drink. I think that means it's time for me to get some sushi.)

Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, nor does it mean that you've dado the message that what someone did was okay. It just means that you've let go of the anger o guilt towards someone, o towards yourself. But that can be easier dicho than done. If forgiveness was easy, everyone would be doing it.



"When tu hold resentment toward another, tu are bound to that person o condition por an emotional...
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posted by IloveMyLord
"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only por this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

"My friends are my estate."
- Emily Dickinson

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"A friend is one who walks in when others walk out"
-Walter Winchell

"A friend is someone who is there for tu when he'd rather be anywhere else."
- Len Wein - Sent por Paulo Louro

"A friend is someone who knows the...
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posted by LizzyTheCat
1.Hum loudly in class and when he/she tells 'the person who is humming' to keep quiet-stop but then carry on two minutos later.

2.Tap your foot loudly when he/she is grading tests.

3.While he/she is busy explaining something, have a huge coughing fit (make sure it's loud) and don't let her finish a sentence.

4.Push your chair in and pull it out, non-stop.

5.Sigh loudly while he/she is explaining something and look longingly at a clock (or your watch if tu are wearing one) and then look out the window and sigh again.

6.Pretend to be asleep during a lesson and when tu get woken up, scream loudly...
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posted by tokidoki123
[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits siguiente Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have tu tried mostrando him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like tu - very homosexually.
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - pescado Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...
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posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did tu get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A pingüino, pingüino de rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If tu have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours por hooking a videocámara to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...
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posted by adaug
Mom:Okay kids!(4 kids)get in here!I got news!
Kennedy:What is it?
Mom:Me and your dad are going on a date
*grasshopper sound*
Mom:so tu guy will need a babysitter!


*10 minutos later the baby sitter came*
Mom:Hello!I'm Amy!
Babysitter:I'm Ashley!
Mom:DARELL!Get your butt in here!
*Mom and Dad leave*
Ashley:Hi kids!I'm your babysitter Ashley!
kids:HI!
Kid:I'm Amber!I'm four!
Ashley:Hi Amber!*ruffles hair*cute!
Amber:Never...touch...ME!!!
Ashley:OH kay!
Kid:I'm Zack!I'm 9
Ashley:Hello!


*59 minutos later*
Amber:I wuv té parties!!
Ashley*Walks in*Hey Amber what are tu doing?
Amber:Having a té party!
Ashley:Can I...
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Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.


Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable por the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby...
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474 Things To Do When You're Bored


- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a cama of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your almohada X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of...
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posted by bubbletl
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If tu have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal por conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what tu think."

7. Claim that tu must always wear a bicycle casco as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...
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posted by MarMar_XigLux
What Being a Retard Online can do for You

Being a retard online will bring tu riches beyond your wildest dreams, hot girls and above all - attention: tu crave attention, tu absorb it like a wet sponge...Ah yes, tu may very suffer from ADHD but it doesn't matter: no my friend, because por being a retard online tu can get all the attention tu need for a small fee.

Poor Literacy is Kool!

If tu want to be a retard tu must learn to spell like one, remember kids - poor literacy is cool! First of all we must take a lesson from the Image comics of old and remember that everything must be EXTREME!...
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posted by tamar20
Have tu ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they want to kill you? Then this articulo is right for you! Hahaha. tu know I've tried most of them and it does work. :P

1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that tu have to go to the bathroom, and that tu think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are tu doing okay in there?". To make it even más annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you...
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posted by Bananaaddict
This lista was emailed to me. I thought some of them were pretty clever, so I decided to post it. My favoritos are 3, 5, 22, and 23! Enjoy. :)

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round mesa, tabla was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much tu push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth...
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posted by yukikiyruu
Sleeping Beauty: Perfect for the sleepyheads.
Dolly Wholly: This name is perfect for the well-dressed girl.
Honey Bunny: Ideal for your playful girlfriend.
Cutsie Wootsie: This cute name is excellent to say when tu are pinching her cheeks with both hands.
Pretty Eyes: If your girlfriend has crystal-clear, beautiful eyes, then tu may call her por this cute name.
Princess: It is a perfect name for your girlfriend, if she has that little girl spirit.
Pumpkin: This name can be used for casual moments.
Doll Face: This name is perfect for a girl with a cute face.
Beautiful: It is a simple but effective...
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