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List by iluvsmj posted hace más de un año
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Man: If I could see tu naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw tu naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Haven't I seen tu someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this asiento empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if tu sit down.

Man: Your place o mine?
Woman: Both. tu go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do tu do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: hola baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do tu like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would tu stay there?

Man: Why aren't tu married yet?
Woman: What? And spoil my great sex life?

Man: Why aren't tu married yet?
Woman:Why aren't tu thin?
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Guide by smileypop9 posted hace más de un año
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1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain tu understand it.

3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help tu concentrate.

4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, tu can both walk to the nearby cafe and buy a hamburger to help tu concentrate. If your friend shows tu his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders, drop him.

5. When tu get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain tu understand it.

7. tu know, tu haven't written to that kid tu met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so tu can concentrate.
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Guide by smileypop9 posted hace más de un año
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1.When tu walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a enfriador, refrigerador that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up lista is on my escritorio for the part tu would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up lista on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it doesn't shrug and let the teacher continue. do this several times. get angrier each time. As tu leave the class yell at the cactus "i can't believe tu embarrassed me AGAIN." this is a fun prank.

4.Ask permission for everything. Ask if it's ok to blow your nose, sharpen your pencil, use the bathroom, etc. If tu can get the whole class in on it, the period will be gone in no time.
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Article by woowie posted hace más de un año
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The Starra launched herself at me. I wailed for help. A Lightopian ship flew overhead, and out came four Lightopians.
"Well, well." The one in front chuckled. "What do we have here?"
"Attacking our young ones, is that it?" dicho another.
"Shut your trap, Snipps!"
The Starra gasped.
"Umm..." Her tail twitched nervously. I smiled.
"GET HER!"
I kicked the Starra off of me. She landed with a loud thud. The other Lightopians swarmed around her with furious yowls. Blood and pelaje, piel flew. Suddenly, I saw a small shape flee. I tried pinning her down, but missed. She took off into the air. The other four followed. I watched as pelaje, piel flew in the sky, before the Starra went down. The Lightopians came to see if I was okay, and took me away.

Starra's POV-
I opened my eyes, and felt blood trickling down my fur. I growled in frustration. "I can't believe I let myself be taken down..." I grumbled, "Those Lightopians will rue the día the messed with the daughter of the top-trained Starra leader!"
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List by Wolfdreamer9 posted hace más de un año
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1. I wish tu were a door so I could slam tu all day.

2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

3. Do tu work for UPS? I thought I saw tu checking out my package.

4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

5. Can I buy tu a drink o do tu just want the money?

6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted cama Thrasher: have tu seen one?

8. I'm fighting the urge to make tu the happiest woman on earth tonight.

9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and tu can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish tu were a poni, pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride tu all día long for a quarter.

11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

12. I'd really like to see how tu look when I'm naked.

13. Is that a ladder in your stockings o the stairway to heaven?
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Opinion by invadercalliope posted hace más de un año
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INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids por their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and gir in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. gir simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

gir gasps in shock. The un-clowny truth is news to him.

ZIM
The longer we stand here, the más they will trust us. Then in their docile clown-trusting state, I will destroy them.

ZIM laughs quietly, until a family stops to stare at him. ZIM begins stomping and waving his arms mechanically.

ZIM (IN CREEPY SING-SONG VOICE) (CONT'D)
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Opinion by shutyourface posted hace más de un año
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if tu r lectura this i am forcing u to pass this message on because it may save the life of many people & if u don't pass it on ..... tu will be the one to blame for destoying the earth....it starts like this..............


i know a song that will get on your nurves, get on your nerves, get on your nurves
i know a song that will get on your nurves, and this is how it goes.. ohhh
i know a song that will get on your nurves, get on your nurves,get on your nurves
i know a song that will get on your nurves,and this is how it goes... ohhhhhh...
tu get the picture
add me as your friend and pass it on
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Opinion by shutyourface posted hace más de un año
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yo
usually i write about banana's and sheep's, but there is something eles that has been bothering me

i mean i went to school and someone said;
" jam!!! give me dat gum? o i shank u. k??!!"
so i natrually thought, poor kid must be hungry and as soon as i get in i will ring social services saying that he had been starved. so anyway i gave him the gum and waited there for 5 MIN'S. and then he said;
"what u looking at lankey, do i know you?? no so scram fam"
i replied that his grammer is terrible and that i could give him a number for a private tutor. he took it the wrong way. after getting beat up (none of this happened por the way it is how some people act) he dicho something in a different language;
"if u dare touch my terve again i will flippy floppy to u and fump lump your mum"
i replied are tu sure tu don't want that private tutor?

thankyou for listening and become a fan of me and my article
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Opinion by coolkatstar posted hace más de un año
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If tu are honest this tells the truth - it's pretty good.

Write your respuestas on a piece of paper. No cheating

The respuestas are at the bottom of this page.

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorito! color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your mes of birth?

5. Which color do tu like more, black o white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorito! number?

8. Do tu like Sydney o Brisbane more?

9. Do tu like a lake o the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).


When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat)
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respuestas ....

1. tu are completely in amor with this person.
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Opinion by coolkatstar posted hace más de un año
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I found this on the internet :P

part I
Everybody who has a dog calls it "Rover" o "Boy"; I called mine "Sex". Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I wanted to have a license for Sex. He dicho "I'd like to have one too." Then I dicho "But this is a dog". He dicho he didn't care want she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He dicho I must have been quite a kid.

Then when I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He dicho every room in the hotel was for sex. I dicho "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at nights." He dicho "Me too."


Part II
One día I entered Sex in a contest, but before before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was hanging around. I told him that I planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold tickets of my own. "But tu don't understand," I said, "I hope to have sex on TV." He called me a show-off.
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Article by coolkatstar posted hace más de un año
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Below are 4 questions. Answer them instantly. tu can't take your time. Answer them immediately. No pencil o paper! OK?

Let's find out just how smart and clever tu really are.

Ready? ...

GO!!!


FIRST QUESTION: tu are participating in a race. tu overtake the segundo person. What position are tu in?
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ANSWER: If tu answer that tu are first, then tu are absolutely wrong! If tu overtake the segundo person and tu take his place, tu are second! Try not to screw up in the siguiente question.

To answer the segundo question, don't take as much
time as tu took for the first question.

segundo QUESTION: If tu overtake the last person, then tu are...?
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ANSWER: If tu answered that tu are segundo to last, then tu are wrong again. Tell me, how can tu overtake the LAST person?!
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Review by BlackSunshine posted hace más de un año
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lol I found this on the internet.

INTERESTING FACTS

1. If tu yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, tu would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it)



2. If tu fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's más like it)



3. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

(In my siguiente life I want to be a pig)

(How'd they figure this out, and why?)



4. Banging your head against a muro uses 150 calories an hour.

(Still can't get over that pig thing)

(Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)



5. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

(And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)
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Article by khfan12 posted hace más de un año
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This is khfan12. I am back here on fanpop. I haven't been here for about a year. I've just been really busy with life. I had a stalker I dealt with (said stalker is now in a mental hospital). I've dealt with a broken corazón and with some close friends betraying me and stabbing me in the back, and others trying to commit suicide, including a few attempts myself.
On the bright side, I've gotten way better at singing, drawing, and writing. I read manga allot más and watch allot más anime. I still amor Kingdom Hearts, I will never give that up. I amor Soul Eater, along with Ouran High School Host Club, and as of February, Glee. I have been watching the episodes from season 1 and 2. (I've seen most of season 2 anyway) I'm just...trying to be happy now. My junior año of high school is almost over, siguiente año I graduate...I dont know what I'm going to do after high school. I dont know if I'm going to publicar the book I'm working on o not.
Well anyway...I'm gonna try to be más active here on fanpop. I get on my DeviantArt account nearly everyday, so if tu want to check out my perfil over there, I have the link on my profile. Okay, I'll see tu guys later.
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Opinion by invadercalliope posted hace más de un año
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Ashimoto ni kaze hikari ga matta nichijou ni dake tsumotta bun no kiseki ga
Miagereba kumo tooku e no kiro osanai hi no jibun yori mo hayaku
Yukidoke o matte ita kodomo no tu ni hashiru
Hikaru shizuku tobihaneteru
Asu no deai sae kizukazu ni iru kisetsu-tachi no naka de kagayaite iru yo

Sekaijuu ni wa donna omoi mo kanau hi ga kuru
Zutto tabi o shite yuku bokura ni chiisana sei-tachi maioriru

Deatta basho mo midori o nashite yuruyaka ni mo nagareru toki ni yudanete
Haruka ni aogu machinami no roji osanai hi no jibun ga mada kakeru
Ano yuuhodou kara kikoete kuru kigi no koe ya hibi no zawameki ni nita
Kiseki no ashioto ni kizuitara konna ni mata tsuyoku nareru futari da ne

Sekaijuu afureru omoi ni kaze ga muiteru
Zutto konna koto kurikaeshite sayonara no nai tabi o suru

Sekaijuu ni wa donna omoi mo kanau hi ga kuru
Zutto tabi o shite yuku bokura ni chiisana sei-tachi maioriru
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Guide by d3ath_3at3r posted hace más de un año
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1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks tu To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your rubbish bin On Your escritorio And Label It 'In.'

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks
Once Everyone is Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your cheques, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever tu go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A poesía Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
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Opinion by d3ath_3at3r posted hace más de un año
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In a pub examen the other día I lost por one point. The pregunta was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other preguntas was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that manzana, apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing comprar that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some bombardeo, bombardero jackets.


tu can say lots of bad things about pedophiles, but at least they drive slowly past schools.



A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I dicho "How can tu tell them apart?" He dicho "Her brother's got a moustache".



Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche & mentioned it on Facebook. I dicho "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" siguiente thing I know, 4000 Muslims have added me as a friend !!
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List by awsomenerd posted hace más de un año
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1. Get a bag of skitles. Knock on your neighbor's door, when they open throw the skitels at them and say "taste the rainbow".
2. Leave a note saying tu ran away and then hide in a árbol o in a trashcan.
3. Chase squirls all día long.
4. Ride your bike around your calle canto a litte kid song like barnney
5. Go to a garaje sale and hide things in the bushes, then come back and get them.
6. Get a bag of chettos and throw them at someone.
7. kiss a misceláneo person and say "remember me"
8. Take your sisters/brothers underwear put chocolate on them and hang them on peoples door knobs.

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Guide by someone_save_me posted hace más de un año
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So I used to be the queen of pranking. tu may have heard some of these before, but these are some of the best, least complex ones I've pulled.

1. Go to google imágenes and buscar up "Blue Screen of Death". Save it as a image and change your victims desktop muro paper to this. Hide all iconos and watch them try to "fix" it.

2. Hack someones iPod and borrar all songs. Then, download "Never gonna give tu up" and "Friday" So they are the only songs to play. If tu can, download them more, record them, whatever tu can.

3. When people are sleeping, take the sofá cushions, unzip them (their should be zippers), get a bunch of blown up whoopee cushions, stuff all the cushions with them, and put the stuffed cushions back in place. Hide the original sofá stuffing.

4. Switch all their CDs inside the cases with ridiculous música like Barney.

5. borrar all their TV's favoritos and then save a bunch of misceláneo things like Nick Jr., some porno station, and some other station they hate as favorites.
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Opinion by invadercalliope posted hace más de un año
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Just killing time until the world ends.
Rika Furude (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni)

◦Friends are nothing más than the the people who tu spend the fun yet meaningless times with. When those times get rough, they aren't there to support you.
Ryuuguu Rena (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni)
"I will live past June 1983, and then I am going to grow much taller, my breasts are going to get bigger. I'm not going to stay in a child's body for the rest of my life!"
"It's so cute, I want to take it home!"

"Omochiikaeri~!"

"Friends. Those companions tu speak of are only friends during those fun, yet unimportant times. When painful times come, they won't be your ally."

"Kana? Kana?"

"USO DA!" (Translated as "LIAR!")

"Found you, Keiichi-kun..."

"Don't worry, I used the blunt end of the knife."

"I’m the only one that can help you, Keiichi-kun. I won’t "My God, tu can really be annoying. Thanks to you, my popsicle melted."
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Fan fiction by moolah posted hace más de un año
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Kingsley<--♥♥
Entry #1
    My mother is so stupid, I know tu shouldn’t say that about your flesh and blood, but it’s true about MY mom! She bought me this diary, I’m into online blogging, but I see her plan-snatch away MY pride and joy. All my mom does is eat potato chips at her secretary job for BYOPS (Be Yourself Outlet Pre School). She works about-what-1 hora per week! She’s an IDIOT!
    This is what she dicho when she dropped the huge bombshell of ‘we’re moving to Mississippi’, “Kingsley, hon, we’re moving to Mississippi! And I bought tu this pretty silver diary! ALL girls need one of those!” I’m still mad at the fact that she named me Kingsley Yetis. My dad wanted my name to be Lindsey o Ally o something, logical! Ugh, but my mom always has to get her ways! So, yeah, this just added on the NEVER ENDING lista OF HORRIBLE THINGS MY MOM DOES . She is the worlds greatest BLOOD SUCKING DREAM RUINER!
    Plus, this really cute boy in my old school, Laken was getting really close to me:) Yummy!:)
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Opinion by invadercalliope posted hace más de un año
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I HOPE tu ENJOY!
dora!
boots!
come on dora!

do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
lets go!
dora dora dora the explorer!
DORA!
boots and supercool exploradora!

we need your help!

grab your backpack!
lets go!
jump in!
vamonos!


tu can lead the way!

hey! hey!

do-do-dora!
do-d-dora!

swiper no swiping!
swiper no swiping! (oh man)

it;s dora the explorer!
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dora dora
ven, ven
dora dora la exploradora
dale con el sol pequeña dora
vamos salta tu puedes niña
consulta a tu mapa
tutu dora tutu dora tutu dora
lets go
The End!
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List by 1-800-Zombiesz posted hace más de un año
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▶ "How Tough Am I? How Tough AM I? I stubbed my toe while watering my spice garden; and I only cried for 20 Minutes!"

▶ "Making bebés Cry! I Do It All The Time! It's So Much Damn Fun; To Make Them bebés Cry~"

▶ "Slam-A-Cow!"

▶ "I'm Patrick Star. I Drowned In An Underwater Beach. F**k Logics."

▶ "If vampiros Glitter In The Sun... Is My Glitter Glue A Vampire?"

▶ "Please Don't Interrupt Me While I Am Ignoring You."

▶ "I Like You. tu Remind Me Of When I Was Young & Stupid."

▶ "Smile. It Scares People"

▶ "My Mom Said, "Where Is My Panty Hoes?" and I said, "Don't tu Mean, 'Where My Hoes At'?" My Mom Stared At Me & Said, "Alright Where My Hoes At?" Funniest Moment Ever."

▶ "I Didn't Trip. I Was Testing Gravity. It Works."
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Guide by sweetangel222 posted hace más de un año
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1- beat your sister below.

2- shout at your computer "you're stupid".

3- paint your room muro with black one.

4- switch on and off the lamp many times.

5- put your rubbish siguiente to your neighbours door.


Lollllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!

6- dress up your mom clothes and sunglasses.

7- snooze in your dad hair.

8- take your brother below and hide it.

9- iron your sister clothes and let them burn.

10- hold your breathe.

It's my own article

they are my ideas
wait más I'll write more
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Opinion by invadercalliope posted hace más de un año
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1 fan
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CAALLIIOOPPEE CHHAANNEELL!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's me your host Invader Calliope ^^
Can tu believe were already on our ninth episode!
TIME SURE FLIES!Welcome to another happy episode of Calliope Channel! Well today were gonna bring another character out! And it's.....Lardnard!
Invader Calliope:SO COME OUT!
Lardnard:Oh *falls*
Invader Calliope:You sound like some nerdy turtle.
Lardnard:Well umm i'm here.
Invader Calliope:FINALLY THINGS ARE PICKING UP AROUND HERE!
Lardnard:Yeah!
Invader Calliope:Yeah.That's how tu respond.
Lardnard:Umm is there a problem.
Invader Calliope:Ohhh nothing! Oh NO WERE OUTTA TIME BYE ME!
The End!
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List by cute20k posted hace más de un año
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Okay, I don't really cry a lot but these frases are all a little sad. They're in no particular order.

1. "A million words wouldnt bring tu back, I know because I tried. Neither would a million tears, I know because I've cried."

2. "When you're in amor and tu get hurt, it's like a cut, it will heal with time but the scars will never fade"

3. "What happens when he's your prince charming, but you're not his cinderella?"

4. "The worst feeling in the world is giving all the amor tu have and knowing it will never be returned"

5. "You probably won't remember me. I'm probably ancient history. I'm one of the chosen few who went ahead and fell for you. I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch. I fell too fast, I feel too much. I thought that tu might have some consejos to give on how to be insensitive." - Jann Arden

6. "We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. por the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness." - David Weatherford
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