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posted by NinaDobrev13
- I decided to cancelar my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im pretty sure people are following me.

- I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until that feeling passes.

- Have tu ever had a fly o small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?

- I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said, 'Parking Fine'

- I just dropped my laptop off the boat....It's a Dell, rolling in the deep.

- To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes....
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posted by hannah16
3
Jetzt geht's los Freunde
Hier ist Markus Becker und die Mallorca Cowboys und das rote Pferd

Wir singen zusammen
Da hat das rote Pferd sich einfach umgekehrt
und hat mit seinem Schwanz die Fliege abgewehrt
Die Fliege war nicht dumm,
sie machte summ,summ,summ
Und flog mit viel Gebrumm
um's rote Pferd herum

lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala

Ok Freunde,
das war nicht schlecht für guarida, den Anfang
Aber da geht noch was
Seit ihr gut drauf? Jaaa
Habt ihr lust zu feiern? Jaaa
Dann macht euch bereit und singt mit uns zusammen


Die Fliege...
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FRIENDS: Will comfort tu when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
_______________________________________________________________

FRIENDS: Will be there for tu when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." !
_______________________________________________________________

FRIENDS: Helps tu up when tu fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
_______________________________________________________________

FRIENDS: Helps tu find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings...
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posted by KatelynBrown
4
[This is pretty neat how it works out... DON’T CHEAT por SCROLLING DOWN FIRST... It takes less than a minute... Work this out as tu read... Be sure tu don’t read the bottom until you’ve worked it out...]

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that tu would like to have chocolate (try for más than once but less than 10) ...

2. Multiply this number por 2 ...

3. Add 5 ...

4. Multiply it por 50. I’ll wait while tu get the calculator ...

5. If tu have already had your birthday this año (2013) add 1763 *; If tu haven’t, add 1762 *...

6. Now subtract the four digit año that tu were born ...

tu should have a three digit number ...

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e. how many times tu want to have chocolate each week) ...

The siguiente two numbers equal ...

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES IT IS!!!)

If tu don't believe, check this website:
link

Thanks!


Your demigodishness,
K
So, for no reason whatsoever I decided to make an little thing about how I think each of my favorito! characters would react to a “modern day” zombie apocalypse. I say modern because some of these characters are from past o fantasía time frames.

Regina Mills (Once Upon A Time): I can totally see her being that one person who keeps finding her way down shit creek—and naturally she doesn’t have a paddle either. Basically she’s the one who bad things keep happening to. For instance she’s the one who finds a stellar getaway car and it’s loaded with gas. But naturally, when she needs...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
tu Might be a Child of the 80's If...
You have deep, personal relationships via computers with people you've never met in real life before.


The phrase "going courting", to you, means fighting an unjust traffic ticket o playing tennis.


You know, por heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song.


The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories.


Songs por Debbie Gibson still haunt tu to this day.


Three words: "Atari" "IntelliVision" and "Coleco". Sound familiar?


You remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are gone for the weekend".


You remember "Friday Night Videos" before the days of...
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posted by australia-101
8
100 Best Things to Do

1) Walk up to a small child that resembles you, and tell them that tu are them from the future.

2) Point at someone and shout "Your one of them!" Run and pretend to trip. Crawl away slowly.

3) Swear to do the siguiente misceláneo thing no matter how ridiculous o stupid.

4) Throw something at Justin Beiber. Do it. Now.

5) Call someone to tell them tu can't talk right now.

6) Thumbs up if your bored.

7) Put a walkie-talkie in a gnome and shout at people when they walk by!

8) Fill water balloons with soap and water and wash your car.

9) Go to McDonalds and ask for a happy meal with...
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posted by Bluekait
7
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program. The siguiente day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 año old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If tu can catch me, tu can have me."

Without a segundo thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the siguiente four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs...
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posted by melcu
5
1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as tu walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at tu for saying that simply reply “Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Dress up like l (Death Note) and walk in with no shoes.

6. If your teacher asks “why aren’t...
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posted by Gangster-Girl
3
- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a cama of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your almohada X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of water
- Calmly have a nervous...
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posted by lucius_malloy
"We must start with the children."
- Doris Twitchell Allen

Some history
In 1946, Dr. Doris Allen had an idea that eventually came to change the lives of thousands of children and adults across the globe. If kids were dado the chance to learn about other cultures and make international friends, they would por default, be less willing to fight dicho friends. Thus they would choose to work towards world peace.
What started out as a single camp with delegates from eight countries in 1951 has now expanded to seven different international activities, with over 190,000 people having participated in over...
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1. They are very weird people.
2. There are billions of them in the world, like colores on the screen of your computer.
3. They will analyse conversations in layers.
4. tu will spend the día assembling furniture from IKEA.
5. They drink and eat all kinds of weird shit just because they like the packaging.
6. They hate each other.
7. You’ll come out the last out of the cine because tu have to see the full lista of credits.
8. They cant change a light bulb o without making a sketch.
9. They fuck up all the tables with their cutters.
10. They rather study the cachemir, paisley pattern on your outfit than listen...
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posted by ilovetowrite
3
1-Accept that it's already happened to you. It's your life history now. tu can never changed the past but tu must accept it with new belief that future could be better and try to más be focused on the future. Leave the past behind so mover on. Remember, life always has ups and downs.

2-Cry as long as tu want until tu feel tired and bored. Do not hold up the tears. After tu cry, tu go to look yourself in front of a mirror and say this many times till tu feel energized again. Don't forget to say it with your style, "I am a winner and passed, you're just a loser."

3-Watch some funny videos...
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posted by milorox18
2
I run my fastest
But still get beat.
I land on my head
When I should be on my feet.
I try to mover forward‚
But I am stuck in rewind.
Why do I keep at it?
I won't be left behind.

The harder I am thrown‚
The higher I bounce.
I give it my all‚
And that's all that counts.
In first place‚
Myself‚ I seldom find.
So I push to the limit-
I won't be left behind.

Some people tell me tu can't‚
Some say don't.
Some simply give up.
I reply‚ I won't

The power is here‚
Locked away in my mind.
My perserverance is my excellence‚
I won't be left behind.

Make the best of each moment‚
The future is soon the past.
The más I tell myself this‚
The less I come in last.
Throughout my competitions‚
I've learned what winning is about.
A plain and clear lesson-
Giving up is the wasy way out.

So every night before I go to bed‚
I hope in a small way I have shined.
Tomorrow is a brand-new day‚
And I won't be left behind.

This is not mine‚ it was written por Sara Nachtman
posted by ssook78
7
1.eat like 10 candys o something
2.chew lots of sugar gum
3.eat a bowl of sugar
4.listen to a song that makes u crazy
5.eat some ice cream
6.think of something crazy u want to do
7.just do nothing then if u cant take it it well make u crazy
8.go outside then do a game of base ball o swiming water and when u lose makes u go crazy
9.if ur mom tells u what to do and u dont want to do it it well make u go crazy
and finally
10.listen to a jb song then it well make u go crazy cuz u kinda hate him
LOL!
posted by ultimatefredde
7
1. Guys for gods sake, dont pretend being something tu aren´t girls have a sixth sense we don´t have and find out sooner o later

2. Dance!

3.Flirt, they aren´t the only ones who should do this.

4.Tell her what tu really enjoy in life

5.Help them out when needed.

6.Avoid playing those "Gay games" with your pals, it´s just not right

7.avoid grabbing your "parts" on public. Really.

8.Be original, with gifts, don´t just give flowers, o take her to dinner, also sometimes a card o a simple walk in the park is good to try

9.Be romantic and take shyness away

10. Express your feelings, tu wont die...
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posted by ilovezuko23
6
7 Things to do when tu want to get kicked out of the DMV. por Misery.

Pretend to be looking at a magazine, and start poking the guy siguiente to you.

Tap your foot to the tune of 'Gramma Got Ran Over por a Reindeer.'

Burst out into song. Sing 'Umbrella' until one of the people siguiente to tu look at tu funny. Get up,take their hands, and start spinning the person around the waiting room.

Start saying your number softly for 6 times, then louder for 5 times, and then yell it out 9 times into the person on your right's ear.

Start speaking your own tounge. Make up a language and find an old lady. Sit down siguiente to her, and start speaking your made up languge using frightening gestures.

Start quoting your favorito! mostrar the security guard.

Take out your iPod, and start belting out the first song that plays. Jump onto the table, and do a big mostrar number. When the last word plays, do jazz hands and RUN out of the DMV.
posted by 90sfan
One day,a bunny named Sparkle was having a picnic with her friends.There was a cat,a panda,and a monkey.ne of Sparkle's friends said,"Hey,where's Usomi?"Usomi was another one of Sparkle's friends who was supposed to mostrar up for the picnic.He was another bunny.Nobody knew where Usomi was,so Sparkle decide to go look for him."It's OK,guys",Sparkle assured."I'll find Usomi.You guys stay here 'till I get back."Sparkle then went to look for him.And started her quest.Her Sparkle quest."I wonder where he could be",Sparkle dicho to herself as she came across a group of blobs!Sparkle had her estrella powers,though,and...
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posted by adaug
Mom:Okay kids!(4 kids)get in here!I got news!
Kennedy:What is it?
Mom:Me and your dad are going on a date
*grasshopper sound*
Mom:so tu guy will need a babysitter!


*10 minutos later the baby sitter came*
Mom:Hello!I'm Amy!
Babysitter:I'm Ashley!
Mom:DARELL!Get your butt in here!
*Mom and Dad leave*
Ashley:Hi kids!I'm your babysitter Ashley!
kids:HI!
Kid:I'm Amber!I'm four!
Ashley:Hi Amber!*ruffles hair*cute!
Amber:Never...touch...ME!!!
Ashley:OH kay!
Kid:I'm Zack!I'm 9
Ashley:Hello!


*59 minutos later*
Amber:I wuv té parties!!
Ashley*Walks in*Hey Amber what are tu doing?
Amber:Having a té party!
Ashley:Can I...
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posted by BookWord123
8
1. Say 'That's Just Being a -(Their Name)-'
2. Talk To Your Pen Constantly
3. Swim On The Floor
4. Climb Walls
5. When tu Go In The ducha, ducha de o Bath Scream 'I'm Drowning, I'm Drowning!'
6. Say 'Ooh La La' Before Everything tu Say
7. Say 'Thats What tu Think' At Every Opinion Speech
8. When Your At School Drop Your Pen Constantly
9. Roll Your Pen Across Your Desk
10. Shoot Dirty Looks At Them For No Reason
11. Poke Them And Poke Them
12. Follow Them Around
13. Disagree With Everything They Say
14. Take Up All The el espacio Everywhere
15. Get In Their Way
16. Laugh At Them And Then Stare At Them Like Their Strange, Repeatitively
17. Dance Like A Hulligan Around Your House
18. Argue At Everything Even If It Comes To Saying That a muro Is Black When Its White
19. Be Quiet When They Want tu To Be Loud But Be Loud When People Want tu To Be Quiet
20. Turn All The Lights On In The House
21. When Your Teacher Asks tu To Take a asiento Ask 'Take It Where?'

Thank tu All For lectura x