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Article by ilovetech29 posted hace más de un año
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1."My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."
2."Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."
3."Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
4."Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."
5."Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a árbol and misplaced his hip."
6."John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."
7."Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."
8."Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered por very close veins."
9."Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side."
10."Please excuse rayo, ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels."
11."Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak."
12."Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust."
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Article by KateKicksAss posted hace más de un año
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Credit: sparknotes.com. They decided to take the challenge of escritura some of their own six-word stories after lectura some better known ones. Enjoy!



Elevator out of order. Use trampoline.

Bird cried, "Feathers? I want fingers!"

Storming again. cancelar the cometa fights.

Hide! Here comes Beyonce. She's pissed.

This is all a dream, right?

"Kitty will be fine," he lied.

The elefante ate everything, even Paul.

Wizard vs. Jedi Knight? Audience wins.

"Ha," dicho Jen as she died.

Party tonight. Bring your own cape.

Did that clown painting just wink?

Clock struck six. Mike struck clock.

Has anyone seen my porcupi—ow!

Man suffocated por hungry giant seahorse.

Without makeup, Gaga looked much better.

"Sorry. We can't arrest bees, ma'am."

Chill out, Ghost of navidad Future.
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Article by kinga10111 posted hace más de un año
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50 misceláneo preguntas people ask

1. Are we there yet?
2. Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
3. Which way to the emergency exit?
4. Does this make me look fat?
5. Can God make a bathtub so big He can't bathe in it?
6. Parlez-vous Français?
7. Why hasn't my check arrived yet?
8. How many fingers am I holding up?
9. Where do bad folks go when they die?
10. Why do we park on driveways and drive on freeways?
11. Who shot Mr. Burns?
12. What time is it?
13. Can I go to the bathroom?
14. May I go to the bathroom?
15. Does this hurt?
16. Will tu marry me?
17. Whose fault is that?
18. I know tu are, but what am I?
19. What's for dinner?
20. Why did the chicken cruzar, cruz the road?
21. Are tu almost done?
22. Could tu point that the other way?
23. Mind if I play through?
24. Are tu going to eat all of that?
25. Don't I know tu from somewhere?
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Article by kinga10111 posted hace más de un año
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..... misceláneo Facts .....

If tu have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, tu have $1.19. tu also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest misceláneo speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.


In the early days of the telephone, operators would pick up a call and use the phrase, "Well, are tu there?". It wasn't until 1895 that someone suggested answering the phone with the phrase "number please?"


The surface area of an average-sized brick is 79 cm squared.
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Article by LovingTruth posted hace más de un año
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Today was a hard día for me,
I woke up early in the morning when everyone was asleep.

I couldn't sleep,
there was something inside me,
It was hurting me so much that I didn't know what to do to make it go away.

My soul was torn apart, amor towards this girl was starting to hurt me in a way no imaginable to me.
Desire to be with her took over my soul and only she can help me take this pain away.

Now I know that strongest emotion is love, it's the most powerful thing on this planet.
Nothing can't stand beside it nor destroy it.

I just hope, she feels a bit of what I'm feeling towards her.
If not,
My corazón and soul will be covered in thick layer of sadness, misery , emptiness, no meaning to live.

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Opinion by AnimeFan66 posted hace más de un año
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Hello guys. I wanted to take an oppertunity into escritura this articulo because there is something of importance that I think the whole world on fanpop should know.

I have ran into many people who can be nice at times and those that can be really mean. What is with the rudness? Is it really that hard to trust the ones you've talked to for over a long time o that tu can trust with consejos and answers?

This has really been pulling my leg lately because I go through it every moment I come here- no matter how nice I try to be, people tend to get the best of me and it really makes me angry. I am not taking judgment on anyone but I'm just telling tu what I go through. And I try my best not to let these little gigs get me down but it's so frustrating when tu try talking to a friend tu have never even talked for over a mes o a long time and they end up leaving without even lectura what tu have to say. I mean, I know and understand that we all have lives to think about but would it kill to just consentrate on your buddies every one in a while? Would it really be so much harm as to do that?
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Fan fiction by moolah posted hace más de un año
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cabina for the Summer
Chapter Ten: Chelsea & Others
(I know this isn’t supposed to be Chelsea’s chapter, but since Chelsea and James broke up something is going to happen!)
By: moolah

    “I can’t do this anymore!” I screamed in his face, tears running down my face. “Stop yelling at me!” He yelled, a fist at his side. “It’s not helping anything!” Tori walked downstairs in her PJ’s and her eyes looking heavy. All the lights downstairs were on and Beth and David were trying to sleep, but I didn’t care. James had come back to the cabina drunk again with hickey marks. “Guys, it’s…” She paused looking over at the clock. “2 o’ clock in the morning. Go to bed!” “I can’t if he’s going to sneak off again and go to the bar.” “Look, Chels, come with me, I’ll get tu some soup, since your sick, and…” she looked at her phone, and started typing a number. “Babe, I need tu to come down, grab Sam, please.” She smiled. “Love tu too.” Sam and Laken came down the stairs, in their boxers, while Tori and I walked up the steps, She leaned in to give Laken a kiss. “Thanks baby.”...
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Article by bucherstrongest posted hace más de un año
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THE DORKS, yeah umm... never mind
Well, I always wanted to create new cartoon, and I did it: Smile World, Super Broko, Planet Gaggo and the new one ~ The Dorks. I dunno why did I call it The Dorks, it was the only tittle which came to my mind. Yeah so it has 8 main characters: Saliva, Stupidness, Angry Lazy, Punka-Punka Goth, Electro-Dumb, Anti-Genius and silly twins ~ Mala and Gala (they are on the pic). OK let's talk about Saliva. Ehem-ehmm, Saliva is crazy wierdo. He's favorito! color is green, he's favorito! phrase is "I'm dumb green wierdo underware", he created it. Saliva loves monkeys, he has a monkey at his house called Monki. Sometimes Saliva is imagining stupid things, like a super man called Super-dumb underware o KittyDog. Saliva loves to play with his friends, his always crazy at mall, at little store, even at bathroom O_o now let's mover on Stupidness. Stupidness is best friends with Saliva, and also Saliva's neighbor. Stupidness thinks he knows everything (but that's not true), like Saliva, he loves to imagine things. Stupidness is wierdo too, he thinks that rest room is for having a rest O_o and he loves his broom, he calls it Lerry. OK who's next, Angry Lazy! Well he has different eye balls, he...
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Fan fiction by ShiningsTar542 posted hace más de un año
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Yo guys! These sweets look good enough to eat, but don't be fooled!! :D

Why not??! :(
Because they are not sweets at all, but soaps! Look a little closer:

The ice creams are blueberry, sandía and cereza, cerezo flavor!

The galletas that look like they are are made of toffee and strawberry, really smell like these delicious foods!

Doughnuts? They are just like the ones tu can buy at the store, in size and shape. Of course, tu can't eat them, but they do smell like chocolate!

How about one of the muffins, which smell like pear, manzana, apple and vanilla?

The last doughnut would be perfect for a guy like Homer Simpson. He wouldn't mind that it's just soap!

These soaps would make for a really fun gift o the perfect apoyo in a practical joke. Here's the website if tu wan to buy a couple of them: link

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Article by ShiningsTar542 posted hace más de un año
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Take a look at the singers, movie stars and athletes on the annual lista of the Best-Paid celebridades Under 30 from Forbes.com.

The youngest estrella on the lista is Justin Bieber. He ranks segundo on the lista with $53 million in earnings over the past 12 months. That money, plus his incredible fame, helped him debut in third place on the annual Celebrity 100 list, which measures wealth and fame. :3

Lady Gaga, who ranks first on the list, grossed $170 million from 137 shows in 22 countries. May 2010 and May 2011 (before her latest album, Born This Way, dropped) she sold an estimated 15 million albums worldwide. Forbes estimates that over that time Gaga earned $90 million. She ranked first on their Celebrity 100 lista this año because of her earnings power and her ability to always attract attention.

rihanna makes the lista of the parte superior, arriba earners under 30 in 10th place. The singer earned an estimated $29 million between May 2010 and May 2011 thanks to a tour, great album sales and endorsements with brands like Fuze Drinks and Venus Razors.
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Article by Thecharliejay posted hace más de un año
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1. Put your face really close to theirs while they're facing a
different direction, tap them on the shoulder, and watch them
jump when they turn to face you.


2. Copy their actions and everything they say.


3. Step on the backs of their heels while they're walking.


4. Yell across a crowded room to them: "Hey, John, the results came
back from the V.D. clinic: we're clean!"


5. In a communal ducha, ducha de o ducha, ducha de house, turn the hot water all the
way up and the cold water all the way down (or vice versa) while
they're rinsing the shampoo out of their hair and can't see
anything. Or, when you're finished showering, go outside and turn
the main valve off.


6. Pretend tu don't understand what they're saying, no matter how
much they yell and how slowly they say it.


7. When somebody asks, "Hey, did tu get a haircut?" reply, "No, all
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Article by MsPropHouse posted hace más de un año
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1 Beg your mom and dad to buy tu something

2 Sing a song from your favorito! artist (If tu like the movie limonada Mouth sing songs from them too)

3 Push a shopping carro into the check out lines

4 Throw items in your shopping carro that tu don't need

5 Talk really loud so everyone can hear you

6 Walk behind your parents and act like tu don't know them

7 Go up to misceláneo people and say "Hi"

8 Babble like an idiot

9 Say your favorito! show's title's name

10 Talk about your favorito! TV mostrar idol o singer
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Article by Thecharliejay posted hace más de un año
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100 Ways to Annoy People
1.Get to know a friends bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
2.Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
3.Call other people "Champ" o "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
4.Drum on every available surface.
5.Sing the batman theme incessantly.
6.Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
7.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
8.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
9.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
10.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
11.Insist on giving weather forecasts in public. Claim to be AMS certified.
12.Surprise old friend's por visiting them at 3AM "to discuss old times".
13.Insist on buying airplane tickets for friends to "save them money." Make sure the plane departs at 5AM and the tickets are non-refundable. Point out that tu didn't really save them any money.
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List by galou_2010 posted hace más de un año
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found it on the internet... hope ya like it!


1. Insist that tu are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the cama holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say tu know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors por your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as tu can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't tu be going now?"

4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for him/her to come home.then act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, they, were here again."

5. Every time tu see your roommate yell, "You jerk" and kick him/her in the stomach. Then immediately buy him/her some ice cream.
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Article by KateKicksAss posted hace más de un año
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This is a bunch of the funnies FML's I've found on FML lately.
Credit: link



"Today, I went to the cine with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to registrarse us. We've been together for two years. FML"


"Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy o a girl. FML"

"Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML"


"Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, o even a girl for that matter. FML"
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Opinion by Hot_n_cold posted hace más de un año
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Nosebleed (noun) - When your boogers get their period.

Unicorn (noun) - When a narwhal and a horse amor each other very much...

My hand (noun) - A dolphin.

Lent (noun) - A segundo chance to fail at your New Year's resolution.

Imagination (noun) - The ability to turn anything into a rocketship; usually lost at puberty.

mosquito (noun) - Mother Nature's way of getting tu to slap yourself.

Just kidding (phrase) - A phrase used to get away with something tu dicho and fully meant.

Etc. (adverb) - Used to make others believe that tu know más than tu actually do.

Cleaning your room (verb) - Shoving everything into the closet and hoping it ends up in Narnia.

Because I dicho so (phrase) - What parents say when they know that they've lost the argument.

Studying (verb) - Student and dying put together.

High School (noun) - Where self-esteem, innocence, and dreams go to die.
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List by Hot_n_cold posted hace más de un año
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ALL CREDIT GOES TO ----> link


The Game (noun) - Something tu just lost.

Science Fair (noun) - A time for parents to mostrar how talented they are.

Laughter (noun) - When a smile has an orgasm.

Irony (adjective) - The opposite of wrinkly.

Period (noun) - Monthly congratulations for having seguro sex.

Single (adjective) - A man who makes jokes about women in the kitchen.

Study (verb) - The act of texting, eating and watching TV with an open textbook nearby.

Politics (noun) - 'Poli': latin for "many." 'Tics': blood sucking insects.

google Translate (proper noun) - The only reason tu passed your French class.

Tomorrow (noun) - The best time to do everything tu had planned for today.


Teacher (noun) - A person who helps tu solve problems you'd never have without them.

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Opinion by MusicLover427 posted hace más de un año
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Hello Fanpopers :) this is my crazy dream i had recently.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Ok, so me and my close friends were at school and it was like midnight.We totally forgot why we where there, when the lights went out and we heard a scream. The lights suddenly came back on and there was blood and a note left on the table. We couldn't understand the note, so we ran away, trying not to make noise. Soon, my 3 other friends were captured and killed por this phantom. Me and my close friend Chloe were running por the recess area, where there was a gate that led outside to the highway. We decided to jump the gate when the phantom (who looked a lot like the scream) came and grabbed me.
ME: AHHHHH!!! CHLOE RUN WITHOUT ME!!
CHLOE: NO! I'M NOT LEAVING YOU!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This dream was SOOOO creepy and seemed really realistic, i think it would make a great horror movie :)
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Article by nomblahnom posted hace más de un año
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As I stare listlessly into the mirror, the fuzzy image that gazes back at me is someone I barely recognize. But I do. They say prison causes profound changes in a man, and the most extraordinary stem from the most incredible circumstances. That man in the mirror has undergone an unimaginable plethora of alterations because he is the absolute worst thing one can be in prison: an innocent man.

I detect the bitterness in his hazel eyes, the constant worry that wrinkles his forehead, the anxiety that sets his jaw like cement and the frustration that has lightened his hair from brown to salty beige. But still, occasionally, I notice the soft smile of that gracious man I used to know, the kindness in his eyes and the youthful, even naive, wonder underlying his visage.

I witness as he struggles for control over his flagging emotions; his quiet humbleness as he is degraded por those who believe that, por mere coincidence of fallaciously bestowed power, they are superior in some way; the way he continues to strive for good, despite the oppression surrounding him; how he never puts himself before others; and he helps whoever he can. The man in the mirror is...
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Opinion by Cantwait4book5 posted hace más de un año
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Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses consejos to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she dicho that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned por a east coast resident, which was publicado on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank tu for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some consejos from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a toro on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
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Opinion by 55xxx55 posted hace más de un año
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Yo, so Imma put preguntas on here about facebook I'm really curious about. Hopefully I'll be able to get some answers....


- Why must parents like every single picture tu put up?!

- Why do some people 'like' EVERY. SINGLE. COMMENT. someone puts on their status. When the comentario isn't even special, it's just like "hello." o something. o picture, whatever they posted.... Like this: *they post pic of self* My comment: Woah it's you. *they like comment* Um... okay...

- WHY DON'T THEY STOP DICKING WITH EVERYTHING AND GIVE US A DISLIKE BUTTON INSTEAD OF FUCKING UP EVERYTHING THAT WAS PERFECT ALREADY?!

- Why do people use picadillo, hash etiquetas on their statuses? It's not twitter, it won't tag anything. it's like this "#bored" wtf is the point of it?!

- Why is it so damn ADDICTING yet so BORING at the same time??

- Why can some popular but ugly people get a gazillion likes on a fugly pic of themselves but hot yet unpopular people never get on??
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Article by mitchie19 posted hace más de un año
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I'm bored, so I asked this pregunta myself. Okay, here we go. Just wanna express myself.

For me, amor makes the world go around. I don't know what that means but, it does. A lot of people say it. Wherever tu go, whatever place you've been, there's always love.
It's also not just feelings but emotions. Your emotions draws tu to that person, and sometimes we hope that that person likes us back too right?

Sometimes, amor is hard. We always want love. I don't know why a lot of people want amor so much. When I see a couple somewhere, I get jealous. I tell myself: "I want that too."
To be honest, I haven't had a boyfriend yet and I want amor so much. I want to experience what other people do, especially when their with their boyfriends'. I'm not talking about lust o sex.
I want to feel how is it to feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Because, when you're around that guy/girl, tu can do anything tu want.. he'll accept for who tu are. You'll feel special around that person. When I'm down, I want someone to tell me: "Babe, it's okay. I'm here." Then he'll envolver, abrigo me around his arms and feel safe.
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Opinion by percylover19 posted hace más de un año
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Percylover19 3

(this whole story is in Kerry's POV)
Chapter 1
     I picked up the phone and called Sam. Sam has been my best friend since third grade. He has dirty blond hair and brown eyes. He also lives right up my street. "Hello?" he answered.
     "Hey it's me, Kerry. Has the new kids moved in yet?"
     "I have seen the moving camioneta, van a couple of times but no sign of our new neighbors."
     "I really hope one of them is a girl. No offense but I really want somebody I can talk to about girly stuff, that's not my mom."
     "None taken. I don't want to know about your girl troubles anyways. Wait I see a car pulling into the drive way."
     "You do? Do tu see any girls o is there any kids at all?"
     "Uhh… Kerry tu are not going to like this."
     "What?"
     "There's four boys."
     "Your kidding me. There can't be. That's not possible. How old our they?"
     "One of them looks a little bit older than us. Another one looks a little bit younger. One of them looks like Parker's age. And one of them looks a little bit younger than Parker."
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Article by Alexyss_Cullen posted hace más de un año
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Start at 1 then listen to what it tells tu to do and go to that number o tu wont get it..

1. Good your ready to hear it...Go to 6

2. Sorry but I bet tu REALLY want to hear this!...Go to 5

3. tu have really good patients. Oh sorry the link
Sooo.. HI

[u]4. Just another precaution...[i]Go to 7

5. Ok I just wanna make sure tu really want to know this...Go to 9

6. Just kidding im STILL making sure...Go to 10

7. tu must be getting mad but it's soooo worth it...Go to 2

8. tu must be mad por now so hear it is...Go to 3

9. Still making sure...Go to 8

10. Wow I cant believe tu want to hear this that bad so..Go to 4

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List by karpach_14 posted hace más de un año
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1. Guys hate sluts.

2. "Hey, are tu busy?" o "Are tu doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all día but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

6. Guys will do anything just to get tu to notice him.

7. Guys hate it when tu talk about your ex-boyfriend o ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-
how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8. A guy who likes tu wants to be the only guy tu talk to.

9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
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