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posted by KyoyaTategami01
Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on the scale, her weight was OVER 9000!!!

Yo Mama's so fat, she walked in front of the TV and I missed three seasons of Inuyasha!

Yo mama's so fat, naruto couldnt make enough clones to see all sides of her.

Yo mama's so ugly, even Tamaki wouldn't hit on her.

Yo mama's so fat that the Dragon Ball Z crew uses her to make craters on set.

Yo mama's so ugly, she's the real reason sasuke left the village.

Yo mama's so fat that when she sat down on a park bench, she caused the naruto timeskip
Yo mama's so ugly that she's like a Death Note. Get someone to look...
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posted by MineTurtle5
Pre-article note: This isn't mine. I found it in a copy of The Word For Today, and I thought that it would be good to re-post.

There's a story about a teacher who, to honour her students, gave each a ribbon that stated, 'Who I am makes a difference,' and asked them to pass it along to someone who'd made a difference in their lives. One kid gave his to a young executive who helped him plan his career. He in turn gave it to his boss, who was hard to get along with. He told him how much he'd been influenced por his creativity, and asked him to give the ribbon to somebody he admired. That night the...
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Carcisia Gruesetal skipped down the drveway, a slightly damp, redish envolope in her hand. She went into her house and layed the envolope on the table. she looked at the adress on the back of the envolope. It read in spidery handwriting; from anonymous.

A shiver ran down Carcisia's spine but she opened the envolope anyways. She pulled out a damp red letter. She unfolded it. Written in blood it said; IT IS YOUR TURN! DON'T TRY TO GET AWAY! YOUR FATE IS DECIDED!

Carcisia screamed and ran out of her house, but a tall man with long brown hair stood in her way. He hand cuffed her and shoved her...
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I held on to Dominic. Something about it seemed different than hugging a friend. It also felt different then hugging Stephanie too. más like hugging Belinda. That's weird. 
   I let go of Dominic. That was really creepy. Why would hugging Dominic feel like hugging Belinda? This is scary. I'm going to think about something else. 
   I go over to Stephanie. 
 "hi" I say. 
 "why aren't tu with Dominic?" she asks. 
  "I'm not always with Dominic." I snap.
     "you usually are." she says. 
    I have nothing to say to...
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1.Determine how many times a week tu eat o want to eat chocolate. It must be a number between 1 and 10, including 1 o 10.

Let's say tu eat chocolate 8 times a week (we won't tell).

2.Multiply that number por 2.

8 x 2 = 16

3.Add 5 to the anterior result.

16 + 5 = 21

4.Multiply that por 50.

21 x 50 = 1050

5.Add the current año (Gregorian).

1050 + 2011 = 3061

6.Subtract 250 if you've had a birthday this year. If tu haven't had a birthday this year, subtract 251.

(Let's say your birthday hasn't passed yet.)

3061 - 251 = 2810

7.(Assuming tu were born in 1975...)

2810 - 1975 = 835

8.You'll end up with a 3 o 4 digit number. The last two digits are your age (if you're under 10 years old there will be a zero before your age). The remaining one o two digits will be the number of times per week tu eat o want chocolate (the number tu specified in the first step).

8 pieces of chocolate a week, 35 years of age.
posted by misscrazel
I tried to brush Dominic's hair away from his eyes. This time he let me. He had one green eye that was a completely different pattern then the black one. His eye had been replaced.
"Your lucky," I said. "I heard in 3017 they couldn't do that." I continued. "you started being able to in 3018."
"I'm not lucky." He said,"it could have just not happened."
"What did happen?"
 "It's a long story. tu wouldn't like it anyway."
"No I really would."
"No. I don't want to talk about it."
"Ok. tu can tell me if tu ever want to."
"Ok. Well I won't."
posted by flippy_fan210
-when tu ask someone for something and they try to annoy tu because they have it and tu don't

-school, you're there for 7 hours a day, they give tu work tu have to do at inicial and tu have almost no freedom

-JB, 1D, big time rush

-when your friends call saying they'll come over and never mostrar up

-you like something your friend doesn't like so they HAVE to complain and say it sucks

-getting no freedom at your own inicial and being controlled por your parents

-crab cake

-girly things

-uptight people who can't stand jokes and practically spit in your face if tu make one "dirty" o "wrong" joke

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tu can read it in the papers
In some places it comes in thirty-two flavors
But tu wouldn't tell no one
Your favorito! if tu could

From the White House to the alleys
From the President down to Long Tall Sally
Can't live with it but
You'll die without it, yes tu would

Senorita’s in the kitchen
She's a fistful of dynamite
You call 911 but you
Can't stop the fun tonight, it's alright

You can't start a fuego without a spark
But there's something that I guarantee
You can't hide when infection starts
Because amor is a social disease
Love is a social disease, uh-huh

Where tu look tu can find it
Try to run but...
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After the smoke clears
And it's down to tu and I
When the sun appears
And there's nothing left but goodbyes
We'll just turn and walk away
How could we let it end like this
Just turn and walk away
Should we sello it with a kiss

It's too late
Now you're out and on the run
It's too late
Held up in amor without a gun

Silent night
We hold up our candle light
Silent night
The night our amor died
No words to say
Now we're both too tired to fight
Just hold me close and don't let go

It was all so simple when
You were to be queen and I'd be your king
I guess the dream got lost
‘Cause baby you're still tu and I'm still...
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I've been lied to and tu been cheated
I've been cried to, tu been mistreated
I've been watching you, tu want action
You need amor and I need satisfaction

I'm burning for love
Filled with desire
I can't stand the heat
And my heart's on fire
I can't get enough (Burning love)
It's down to the wire
I'm making my move, I'm looking for you
I'm burning for love

You're the victim it's in your eyes
I'm the suspect and love's the crime
Tensions mounting bodies aching
I can't take the anticipation

I'm burning for love
I’m filled with desire
I can't stand the heat
And my heart's on fire
I can't get enough (Burning love)...
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posted by FlufflyHands
tu now when we broke up I was like: "I WANT U BACK." Then I realized our relationship was like a CIRCUS. tu GIVE amor A BAD NAME baby, just saying. Now whenever I see tu I just put on my POKER FACE. ONE TIME tu came to me like: "ONE más NIGHT...?" And I was like: "WHAT I'VE DONE For tu I regret" than running away I scream back at him: "I hope tu DIE YOUNG!" Yeah well we didn't talk for awhile. tu attempt to get me back again and I was like: "dude, WE ARE NEVER EVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER." Then I just walked away, awkward moment when. I see tu around town with your stupid friends,...
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posted by 2468244
On the calle where tu live
Girls talk about their social lives
They're made of lipstick, plastic and paint
A touch of sable in their eyes

(All your life)
All your life all you’ve asked is
When’s your Daddy gonna talk to you
But tu were living in another world
Trying to get a message through

No one heard a single word tu said
They should have seen it in your eyes
What was going around your head

Ooh, she's a little runaway
Daddy's girl learned fast
All those things he couldn't say
Ooh, she's a little runaway

A different line every night
Guaranteed to blow your mind
I see tu out on the streets
Call me for...
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posted by iluvinvaderzim
i handed in a scrumpled piece of homework to my teacher mr.ark. mr.ark turned out to be my my arch enemy arkitick. i grabbed my lunch kit and chucked it at him and he got a conservar en vinagre, salmuera lodged in his nose. he took the conservar en vinagre, salmuera out and started chasing me. he chased me out into the hallway and then into the música room. he locked the door and slowly walked towards me while pulling a scythe out from behind the piano.he swung it at me and i dodged. i grabbed a tuba stuck it over his head and shoved him out the window.

"wow sophi that was an exiting sounding day" dicho kit, "to bad tu lost your lunch" dicho bobby, "well good night guys" i dicho and logged of fanpop. i was asleep before i hit the bed.

posted by spongefan612
This is a poem I wrote :D

My beloved, let the leaves fall.
Yes! This leaf is beautiful. I shall treasure it.
Where are you? Oh, there tu are.
If tu amor me back, let another leaf fall.
*another leaf falls*
Thank you.
*Dad comes in*
Ignore the cacophony of my father's shrieks, darling.
I amor you.

LOL... What did I just write?

Derp. My writer's block has been cured!

I wrote this because leaves kept falling and then I did weird things x3
 What if...
What if...
posted by Kat_Penguin
This is just a poem about what has happened to me throughout my life up to this very moment.

When I was young, I lived in a lifeless home.
A gloomy haze was my world.
"Sunshine dosen't exist here" is what my sister would say,
When I asked "Sissy, when will the clouds go away?"
Locking myself in my room.
Desperate to escape the misery.
Drawing creatures that I called 'Friends'.
Then came that awful night.
When a stranger took my tiny brother's life.
Refusing to speak to anyone now,
My eyes filled with tears, my corazón felt dead.

'I'm finally in sixth grade!'...
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posted by flabaloobalah
So my uncle told me this joke and I HAD to post it:

So two blondes walk into a bar and sit at the counter. They order drinks, high five, and yell "Three months!" They finish their drinks and repeat.
The bartender is curious and asks, "What does 'three months' mean?"
One blonde explains. "You see, we bought a puzzle and it dicho on the front '3-6 years', but we finished it in three months!"

Got to be the dumbest blondes on earth!

posted by australia-101
tu may be stupid if...

...you can't remember how to spell "IQ."

...you can't remember the number for 911.

...you just discovered your AM radio also works in the afternoon.

...you use correction fluid on your PC monitor.

...you fail Physical Education.

...you can not spell it.

...you try to turn the light on to find flashlight in a power outage!

...you put braille on a drive up teller machine.

...you think taco campana is a Mexican phone company.

...you think a pigpen is something to write with!!!

...you think a cartoon is a song about automobiles.

...you use your CD-ROM unit as a drink holder.

...you frequently...
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Me:Okay...Got any sixths?
Sam:Go fish,
Sam:*Looks at me*What was your first clue?*sarcasm*
Me:Come on!Let's go get some food
*all walk over to kitchen*
Emma:Can I have a sandwich?
Me:Whats the magic word?
Me:*Gets bread*Okay!Fine!Sam?What do tu want?
Sam:Um...I guess I'll have some POPTARTS!!
Me:Okay!So...whats up guys?
Emma:Oh today at school remember That kid Mason dicho I wet myself when it was MILK!
Me:*laughs*And when tu dicho Ret race instead of retrace!
Sam cracks up.
Me:You didn't...
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posted by Thecharliejay
Act like a spy / secret agent for the day
Act like tu just met your friend for the first time
Act profound
Ad lib
Add some strawberries to your ice cream
Adopt strange mannerisms
Alphabetize the comida in your fridge
Announce your candidacy for President.
Annoy total strangers
Apply for a unicorn hunting license
Appreciate everything
Archive the Internet to 3.5" floppy disks (low density of course)
Arrest yourself
Ask a pregunta nobody can answer
Ask embarrassing questions
Ask for seconds
Ask people how to pronounce their name
Ask people if they want to see your “belly button treasure”
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Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate fecha to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to mostrar tu the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense...
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