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posted by BellaCullen96
Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
I thought tu had to be in relatively good shape to be a police officer.
You know, I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
Bad cop! No doughnut!
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Didn't I see tu get your butt kicked last week on "Cops?"
Wow, tu look like the guy in the picture siguiente to my girlfriend's bed.
I bet tu I can grab that gun before tu finish escritura my ticket.
So, tu on the take, o what?
Aren't tu the guy from the village people?
Do tu know why tu pulled me over? Okay, just...
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posted by TheMagicLoki
Hoi! Starting Tuesday, I will be releasing one episode every week of a series named as the picture over there shows.

The item labeled "insert título here" will be replaced with the título of a movie, TV show*, o video game. I will then use an art studio to depict a comic of what would happen if the characters in whichever título weren't so stupid. I already have a plan for the upcoming premiere episode, but I encourage suggestions in the comentarios for future episodes. Also, to prevent the inconvenience of saying that long name every time the series is referred to, I will officially call it tortuga Sandwich.

*TV shows will be divided por season rather than episode o entire series.
posted by Dreamtime
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What’s not to like about walking? It’s free. It’s easy to do, and it’s easy on the joints. And there’s no pregunta that walking is good for you. Walking is an aerobic exercise; a universidad of Tennessee study found that women who walked had less body fat than those who didn’t walk. It also lowers the risk of blood clots, since the becerro acts as a venous pump, contracting and pumping blood from the feet and legs back to the heart, reducing the load on the heart. Walking is good for tu in other ways as well.


1. Walking improves circulation. It also wards off corazón disease,...
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posted by JonasLuver1
1.Whats your full name? – Jessica Drew William
2.How big is your bed? - normal
3.What are tu listening to right now? – See No más – Joe Jonas
4.What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number? - 7755
5.What was the last thing tu ate? – crunchy gatos (:
6.Last person tu hugged? – My half-Sister <3
7.How is the weather right now? - cool
8.Who was the last person tu talked to on the phone? - My BF
9.What is the first thing u notice in the opposite sex? - Smile o Eyes
10.Favorite type of Food. - Fast comida :]
11.Do tu want children?- Yea but not now.
12.Do tu drink? – No sir(:
13.Ever...
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posted by fly210
some of tu may be thinking "cheese? why the f*** cheese?" well let me tell tu the power of the yellow white o stinky things we call CHEESE!

for starters it got mice in mice traps. *snap!!* o my bird valley who is dumb enough to eat the cheese and get stuck. *sigh* I'll get tu out vally........ (dumb bird)

then cheese has the power of fart. tu heard me. fart. me and my mom both cut the CHEESE when ever we have CHEESE, milk, coco the lista goes on. I guss that is why they call it CUT THE CHEESE.

Cheese also can get people really mad. tu may say "mad? how can CHEESE make someone mad?" well...
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posted by aitypw
A young relationship can never last long,
To get through some days, tu must be strong.
Should have listened to the words my friends gave me,
Too late,puppy amor got a grip of my corazón and raped me.
I still like him and wish it would get through,
I screwed, so what, whatcha gonna do.
You know what they say, opposites attract,
Too bad with same minds no time to react.
Too much in common with too little time,
Sitting here wishing you'd still be mine.
If I'd have waited just a little bit longer,
The relationship would grow, friendship be stronger.
Never realize the precious time that amor takes,
Cause the...
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posted by 7things
How did tu deal with mean girls?

“I know it’s very cliché, but tu just really have to stay true to yourself. tu can’t change for anybody, because then they’re not really your friends. If tu try to mold yourself to what other people want tu to be, then they don’t really like tu for who tu are. Remember that cool is up for interpretation. If tu like to knit, then find someone else who likes to knit. That’s really cool, and that [person] can be your friend, even if that’s not the most popular person in school.”


How can tu get a boy to notice you?

“Just have confidence and be yourself, so he can see who tu really are. Maybe hang out in a group of friends, so tu get to know him in an easier environment and see if tu really have things in common.”
Postal is an interesting video game franchise. The first game being a janky murder simulator that’s far too edgy for my tastes, and then there’s Postal II, a satiracl sand-box first person game that deals with doing meneal chores while being attacked por protestors and rednecks and terrorists. It was foul, juvenile, crass, violent, disgusting, and insanely fun. Running With Scissors, the developers of Postal, have this self-aware humor that makes Postal II just a fun experience, glitches and all. But then tu get to Postal III, the game nobody wants to talk about. But oddly, this was not...
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It all started when a young man without much money he was dado a nintendo 64. The young man, who wanted to play but did not have the fat wallet, decided that a good option was to buy cartridges. And I was lucky because just the día after tu give away the console, an old man opened a garaje sale in which, between furniture, lamps, utensils, carpentry and other unnecessary objects, calling his presence a small cartucho of Majora's Mask ( a game of the series The Legend of Zelda). As the old man who sold the game ... well, let's say that her appearance did not inspire much confidence to the...
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posted by trizytrix
Girls Need To Realize This:

We guys don't care if tu talk to other guys. We don't care if you're friends with other guys. But when you're sitting siguiente to us, and some misceláneo guy walks into the room and tu jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn't help if tu sit there and talk to him for ten minutos without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there. We don't care if a guy calls o texts you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till the morning. Also, when we tell...
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1 Beg your mom and dad to buy tu something

2 Sing a song from your favorito! artist (If tu like the movie limonada Mouth sing songs from them too)

3 Push a shopping carro into the check out lines

4 Throw items in your shopping carro that tu don't need

5 Talk really loud so everyone can hear you

6 Walk behind your parents and act like tu don't know them

7 Go up to misceláneo people and say "Hi"

8 Babble like an idiot

9 Say your favorito! show's title's name

10 Talk about your favorito! TV mostrar idol o singer
Tired of taking the tedious way out of everything? Is life just NOT giving tu the luck tu want? Do tu want to know cool and fast ways out of common annoying scenarios? Then this lista the lista for tu my friend! =D

I hope tu enjoy my lista of Life Hacks! And who knows, maybe a few of these will really help tu out. :)

#1. Here's a simple but effective life hack. Are tu ever feeling down, depressed, o sad? Stick a pencil horizontally in the middle of your lips and hold it there, then you'll be smiling. This may seem REALLY stupid at first, but doing this will actually trick your brain into...
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posted by nikkibellafan02
hola everybody there''s a contest on here that the kings of parodies The Nyackers are doing it's about that song All about that bajo por Meghan Trainor. If u do this they will make a fan club about u and make the articulo their own. But their are rules no copying their articles, no insulting people like someone else did and It needs to be Original. so if u have funny lyrics to this song then por all means come par take in this contest but hurry up it ends halloween eve. o U can make a spoof about it either way if u par take in this u MUST start It Immediately to have a chance to win so work fast if ur in. I was first so U have to try and parte superior, arriba me.
posted by iluvinvaderzim
i handed in a scrumpled piece of homework to my teacher mr.ark. mr.ark turned out to be my my arch enemy arkitick. i grabbed my lunch kit and chucked it at him and he got a conservar en vinagre, salmuera lodged in his nose. he took the conservar en vinagre, salmuera out and started chasing me. he chased me out into the hallway and then into the música room. he locked the door and slowly walked towards me while pulling a scythe out from behind the piano.he swung it at me and i dodged. i grabbed a tuba stuck it over his head and shoved him out the window.

"wow sophi that was an exiting sounding day" dicho kit, "to bad tu lost your lunch" dicho bobby, "well good night guys" i dicho and logged of fanpop. i was asleep before i hit the bed.

THE END
posted by Usui--takumi
Drug addiction is now a global problem. This social cancer has spread its poisonous claw all over the world. Frustration is the cause of this addiction. Unemployment problem, political cataclysm, lack of family ties, lack of amor affection etc give rise to frustration.Again this addiction gives rise to social crimes. When the addicted can not afford to por drugs, they commit many kinds of social crimes like hijacking, looting , plundering killing, robbery etc. Drugs oso, oso de a terrible effect on human body. They kill them slowly but surely. No physician can stop the changes that take place in the...
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posted by hetaliaitaly
i will never leave im stuck on earth i cant go up o down i sit por my grave at midnight watching the moon and dark grey clouds

lobos howl in the dead of night
the moon gives of not one single light
i see someone sitting at a grave stone for two
his mum and dad are in thoughs stones sitting right siguiente to me

as i watch him cry and scream he reminds me alot of me not happy not sad just plain old gloom being watched from air being moved por doom

then i see someone else walk por coming over to me he sits there watching looking into the white stone he knows it was him he knows why

he didn't mean for me to die none of them did maybe if they dicho they cared o maybe just dicho then meybe i could have lefted this world atleast i wouldn't be trapped

then the boy looks straight into my eyes looking like hes trying to mostrar all his 100 lies then he says im sorry just dont leave without me saying to tu go leave rest in peace.
posted by teamsalvatore98
(from 20-1 <3)
20. running out of toilet paper
19. repetitive ads
18. my parents telling me I need to do something productive
17. that día of the año when all your good clothes are dirty and your parents won't let tu wear dirty clothes so tu have to wear shit-clothes that look boyish (or girlish) on you.
16. the number 45
15. the letter W (i mean seriously. it isn't a double-u its a double-v.)
14. whores/prostitutes/sluts/man-whores
13. police officers
12. eating meat
11. when someone reports me for something completely stupid
10. people teasing me (my dad does this) because I'm a klutz
9. justin bieber
8. rosado, rosa (the color the artist is cool)
7. non-believers
6. assholes
5. imvu ads (selling sex again, IMVU?)
4. eHarmony commercials
3. hypocrites
2. posers
1. hypocrites who are posers and think they're so cool when they're really just stupid morons.
posted by Mallory101
If tu have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, tu have $1.19. tu also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest misceláneo speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company...
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posted by GDragon612
1) Go to a public place, and say "Idiot! Look at me!" see how many people look at you, they are now an idiot.
2) TRY TO LICK YOUR ELBOW!!!
3) Get up during class and just sit on the floor.
4) Give money to children in need.
5) Go up to your friend and say vioces tell me things evil things.
6) Do what tu want.
7) Look at the person sitting siguiente to tu until they laugh.
8) Put on red face paint, then walk around in public mumbling to yourself loudly 'No one wants to PLAY with me'.
9) Go to any store and carry a hammer. Sing wrecking ball to anyone that walks by.
10) Pretend your a doll and yell this...
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posted by deathding
Hours, turn into days.

Light, into darkness...

Hope, becomes insanity....

The shadow then smiled at me....Staring into my face with those evil soulless eyes, it was truly a terrifying sight.

Blood slowly began to run down his neck, and lucky for me I managed to bring out my Shadow Katana quick enough to land a hit on him.

It's too bad it did nothing....My blade did absolutely nothing, as the shadow attempted to stab into my corazón with a giant legendary sword....

It was him, Sabres.

The darkest most evil sword to ever be created in all of the universe's history. It was made por a god that lived in...
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