escribir un artículo

Misceláneo Artículos

Sort by:   Most Recent | Top Rated
Filter by: 
Showing misceláneo articles (3501-3525 of 3624)
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
6 fans
save
While shaking hands get into a heated thumb wrestling match.
Repeat everything your interviewer says, keep going until he o she yells at you. Then ask if tu got the job.
Stick a piece of brócoli between your front teeth, smile a lot.
Sometime during the interview, frown and sniff suspiciously, ask the boss if he o she farted.
Pick your nose and wipe contents underneath the lip of your interviewers desk.
Bring in whoopie cushion, set it off, roll your eyes and look at your interviewer with disgust.
In the beginning of the interview pull out a gun and put it on the interviewer’s escritorio in front of you, then say, "Mind if I rest this here during the interview?"
Demand that if hired tu want escritorio plate that reads, "Big Kahuna."
As tu follow your interviewer to his o her office kick out their heels so that they trip and fall on their face, laugh uncontrollably.
mostrar up in your jogging outfit, run in place during the entire interview.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
2 fans
save
After tu cut off a vehicle, give a "Thanks-for-letting-me-in" wave and nod to the other driver.
Always save your nose picking for when you're behind the wheel.
Drive closely behind speeding ambulances and fuego trucks so tu get ahead of everyone who pulls over to let them pass.
Drive with a pen and ATM envelope in your hand and write down everything a moron driver does.
If another driver honks at you, ignore it, continue to do exactly what tu are doing, and give him a dirty look.
If another driver is courteous enough to let tu in front of him/her, mostrar your appreciation por letting the entire world in front of you, including tractor trailers and construction vehicles.
If for some reason tu had to pull over on the shoulder, wait until a car is approaching to pull back onto the road.
If the driver behind tu is honking and flashing his headlights because he is in some sort of an emergency rush, do NOT pull over to let him pass.
If tu are driving fast, stick one arm out the window, twist your hand back and forth, and pretend to be an airplane as the wind lifts your arm.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
19 fans
save
All passengers should pretend to have their own brake pedal.
Always grab the dashboard o doorhandle and yell "Whoa!"
Always tell the driver to slow down o speed up.
As a passenger, feel free to take your shoes off and smell up the whole car.
Constantly remind the driver of road conditions.
Every time tu see a car do something that ticks tu off, ask everyone in the car with tu if it is included it on the "How to drive like a Moron" webpage.
Every time tu see a car pulling out, yell to the driver "Watch it!"
Grab the steering wheel if tu feel the driver can not deal with a traffic situation.
If there is a mirror on the passenger side door, it's there for the passenger. Feel free to adjust it at will.
Make sure that tu put your chewed bubble gum into the ashtray, unwrapped.
No matter what lane the driver is in and where tu are going, always tell the driver that we would be better off in the siguiente lane.
Point to the left and tell the driver to make a right.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
8 fans
save
Paint your windows.
Boil ice cream.
registrarse Hell's ángeles por mail.
Redecorate your garage.
Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids.
Bury your fathers car. Tell your him the dog did it.
Challenge the neighbor kid to duel.
Climb a sidewalk.
Donate your brother's body to science.
Have your cat bronzed.
Hot wax the bottoms of your brother's dress shoes.
Learn to type...with your toes.
Make a quilt out of used cóctel, coctel napkins.
Mow your carpet.
Paint your home...day-glo orange.
rayado, tela a rayas your driveway.
Plant a shoe.
Play Houdini with one of your siblings.
Plot the overthrow of your local School Board.
Pour instant concrete in your brothers waterbed.
Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets.
Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings.)
Ride a loaf of bread.
See if tu really can build a small nuclear device in your basement.
Speak in acronyms.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
5 fans
save
Eight hora lunch; two dollar tip.
Ask, "Excuse me, are tu a really bad singer, o a really bad actor?"
After he describes each special, tu shout, "Stinks!"
Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage."
Insist that, before ordering, tu be allowed to touch the Londres broil.
Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge superman for dinner, would you?"
Every time tu eat o drink, cough really hard.
Eat the check.


Hey! This articulo was too short so I have to write this sentence.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
30 fans
save
Organize a bunch of people in one class to emit a low humming noise, keeping straight faces.
Organize a whole bunch of people to fall off their chairs at the same time.
Organize a whole bunch of people to drop their pencils/pens at a preset time.
Superglue quarters to the floor, count how many people try to pick them up.
Write fake amor notes and slip them into people's lockers
If someone near tu falls asleep in class, tie their shoelaces to the desk/chair.
Lay a paper towel roll on the floor at the parte superior, arriba of the steps and give it a kick, making sure you've taped the loose end to the floor already.
Place chalk inside the erasers so the teachers end up putting big 'ol lines across the blackboard.
When tu use the bathroom, get a LOT of soap on your hands (if it's the slimy kind), but don't wash it off, just leave goo all over doorknobs, railings, etc.
Screaming gibberish in crowded hallways is always good for a laugh.
Leave a Snickers bar in the toilet.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
6 fans
save
Throw palomitas de maiz, palomitas de maíz in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can tu fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling palomitas de maiz, palomitas de maíz that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when its your turn to get palomitas de maiz, palomitas de maíz yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit siguiente to tu because tu invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Use empty chairs siguiente to tu as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind tu and see if tu can hit anyone in the back row.
Wear 3d glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effect are.
Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
Bring a remote control. Complain that tu can't change the channel.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
8 fans
save
Play with your food; to add effect, act like it's a special performance for the people at the siguiente table.
Turn around every thirty-seven segundos to the people at the siguiente mesa, tabla and ask them if your asiento is too close, if you're talking too loud, etc.
Whenever tu see someone getting up and leaving, bolt to their mesa, tabla and take the tip before the wait-person returns.
Eat REALLY loud; make disgusting noises; slurp EVERY time tu take a sip of your drink.
Constantly re-adjust the positions of absolutely EVERYTHING at your table; seats, silverware, dishes, the mesa, tabla itself; and make sure to make a big production out of it.
Order something on the menu, preferably something very specific, then when it comes, claim it's wrong and tu ordered something simple. Make a big production about the ineptitude of the help.
If shells are on the menu, order them and take them home. Come in the siguiente día and say, "Those shells tu sold me jammed up my shotgun! I want my money back!"
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
12 fans
save
Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your fecha begins talking about themselves.
Sacrifice french fries to the great deity, Pomme.
When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food.
Without asking, eat off your date's plate. Eat más from their plate than s/he does.
Drool.
Fill your pockets with sugar packets, as well as salt and pepper shakers, silverware, floral arrangements . . . i.e. anything on the mesa, tabla that isn't bolted down.
Hold a debate. Take both sides.
At dinner, guard your plate with fork and filete knife, so as to give the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it.
Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table.
Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.
Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions.
Repeat every third third word tu say say.
Give your claim to fame as being voted "Most Festerous" for your high school yearbook.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
8 fans
save
Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices
Wear golf shoes.
Every time tu throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, tu JERKS!" Continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black pantera, panther conspiracy.
Explain to the owner how your game is "All sorts of messed up" due to plate tectonics, then lose him in lingo. Demand compensation.
Make lewd and graphic references to your "ball". Works well on Senior Ladies night
Play bocci with extra lane balls
Try to juggle the balls, when tu drop them, start screaming about plate tectonics again.
Every ten minutos run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tongues, then sit down as if nothing happened
Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting.
Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off.
Hide behind the pins, stick your head up laughing hysterically
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
19 fans
save
Ride mechanical caballos with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.
Try pants on backwards at GAP. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.
Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.
At the bottom of an escalator, scream “My SHOELACES! AAAGH!”
Ask the sales personnel at the música store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos o rubles.
Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable.
Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King . . . but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they’re "astronaut food."
Follow patrons of D. Balton’s around while lectura aloud from Dianetics.
Ask mall cops for stories of World War I.
Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it’s a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, “You mean tu really can’t see it?”
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
5 fans
save
Specify that this order is "To Go".
Drive through the drive in backwards and let your rear asiento passenger make the order.
At midnight, ask if tu are too early for Breakfast.
When ordering, start talking about the problems tu were having with your car. Ask if somebody can take a look at it.
Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels unwrapped.
Laugh loudly when asked if tu would like fries with your order.
Demand to speak to the manager. When he comes on, complain that tu did not like the way the employee dicho "Would tu like fries with your order?"
When asked if they can take your order, tell them tu are just looking and drive off.
Tell them tu have to use the bathroom - Don't order anything.
Order a hamburger, no bun with two ketchup sachets - That's all.
Just stare at them when tu pay and get your food. Don't break your stare and say " I know what tu did to my food!"
When they hand tu your food, hand them a bag back with all the rubbish from your car in it.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
8 fans
save
Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make amor with tu
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until tu find your contact lens.
puñetazo, ponche the body and tell people that he hit tu first.
Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
Ask someone to take a snapshot of tu shaking hands with the deceased.
At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.
Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.
Ask the widow to give tu a kiss.
Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin.
Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the deceased.
Slip a whoopee cushion under the widow.
Leave some phony dog poop on parte superior, arriba of the deceased.
Tell the widow that tu have to leave early and ask if the will can be read before the funeral is over.
Urge the widow to give the deceased's wooden leg to someone poor who can't afford firewood.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
7 fans
save
Instead of leche and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that tu think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
Keep an angry toro in your living room. If tu think a toro goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
Leave a note por the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some leche and a loaf of pan de molde, pan on his way home.
Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
7 fans
save
Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
I work for the IRS.
Have tu ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man siguiente to me!
I puked on the last person who flew siguiente to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would tu look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator.
Would tu hold this messy kleenex for me?
Wanna see my tonsils? I keep them in a jar.
I haven't changed my underwear in over two weeks! How about you?
The doctors say that my eighth personality is the least dangerous.
Wow, look at that little boy in the third row!
Can tu believe they only gave me three years for killing my own sister?!
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
8 fans
save
"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the frozen comida doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps tu out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around navidad time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if tu can buy a shopping cart.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Ask Someone if they know were they sell little babies.
Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
Bring a friend and get in a shopping cart. Have them push tu around while tu yell "ye-haw!"
Buy chrome hubcaps and put them on in the parking lot.
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Constantly wink at a person tu don't know. Follow them around and blow kisses to them.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
26 fans
save
Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
I thought tu had to be in relatively good shape to be a police officer.
tu know, I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
Bad cop! No doughnut!
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Didn't I see tu get your butt kicked last week on "Cops?"
Wow, tu look like the guy in the picture siguiente to my girlfriend's bed.
I bet tu I can grab that gun before tu finish escritura my ticket.
So, tu on the take, o what?
Aren't tu the guy from the village people?
Do tu know why tu pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
Hey, can tu give me another one of those full cavity searches?
Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
Hey, tu must have been doing 125 to keep up with me. Good job!
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
11 fans
save
Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to mover on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When tu leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe tu embarrassed me AGAIN...."
Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using it. If your professor objects, explain that tu "can't stand sitting in this pigsty any longer." Keep vacuuming, grumbling angrily.
Brush your teeth during class. While doing so, raise your hand as if tu have a question, and mumble your pregunta incoherently while brushing, spewing toothpaste all over the place. If your professor objects to your actions, go on a tirade about proper oral hygiene.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
19 fans
save
Act like a movie star.
Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that tu think they're Tom Cruise o madonna (This best when the person looks nothing like the movie estrella in question).
Ask the guy siguiente to tu to hold your dentures (senior citizens only).
Ask the person siguiente to you, "Are tu in the Witness Protection program too?"
Attempt to promote Hinduism among passengers.
Bring a "Word-a-Day" calendar on board with you. Read every single word aloud and attempt to use it in a sentence. Use them all incorrectly. "'My, tu have a very irate home,' she dicho governessly."
Bring a cellular phone. Call God. Say, "The reception is much clearer up here. . . ."
Bring a duffel bag packed with pipe cleaners, styrofoam balls, construction paper, etc. Organize a "Kraft Korner". Make a craft likeness of the person sitting siguiente to you. Give yourself an "F."
Bring a microphone and act like Frank Sinatra.
Bring your computer keyboard without a monitor. Place it on your lap. Stare into the palm of your hand. Wait. Push the return key a few times. Yell out "Yes! Alright! I told them I didn't need a laptop!" Plug the headphones into your...
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
50 fans
save
Act like tu know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"
Add extra letters to words, ex: pizza becomes pizzzzzzzaaaaaaa
After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
Answer their preguntas with questions.
Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
Ask for chips/fries with everything!
Ask for extra homo-sapien
Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
Ask if them if they get a free fecha with one of the staff if tu make order over $30.
Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
14 fans
save
"Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that tu haven’t lost your shoes since tu did this.
Agree to organize the company navidad party. Hold it at McDonald’s Playland. Charge everyone $15 each.
Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but tu didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat entire raw potatoes.
Attach a sign that says "FAX" to the paper shredder. Sit and watch to see how many people fall for it.
Bring in dishes that tu tried to cook but didn’t turn out quite right as special treats for your co-workers.
Build modelos of the Seven Wonders of the World using empty soda cans.
Change the message on the company voice mail system. Get “Creative”.
redactar all your e-mail in rhyming couplets.
Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children.
Determine how many cups of coffee is “too many.”
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
7 fans
save
Take large objects on the train with you.
Sing songs. Start a round with everyone on the train.
Eat onions and garlic and talk to the people siguiente to you.
Sell stuff.
Stand in front of the doorway and glare at people when they try to get by.
Yell to your friends at the other end of the train.
Make fun of other people while they are in hearing distance of you.
Ride the train while drunk. Extra points if tu throw up.
Constantly ask people for directions.
Ask people where they are from.
Ask people where they are going.
examen people on the meaning of life.
Start a game of poker. Extra points if it's strip poker.
Start a game of tag. Extra points if it's strip tag.
Start a game of twister.
Use a cell phone. Talk loudly.
Turn your headphones up to 120 decibels and then complain loudly that they just don't make headphones loud enough anymore.
Shake off your umbrella on the people sitting down.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
22 fans
save
Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between tu and the people in front of tu while waiting in line.
Every time tu pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind tu in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let tu off.
Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.
Speak in Spanish, o pretend you're deaf and start making rapid hand movements.
Start talking about shaving your excess body hair in line while everyone around tu is silent.
Find someone and tell them you're lost. Use your best actuación skills.
Steal all of the pennies out of the water fountains.
Go up to the boy band wanna-be group and pretend to be really excited and ask for their autographs, reassuring them that they're gonna make it big soon.
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
20 fans
save
Ask everyone tu meet, "Hot enough for you?"
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as tu can.
If tu see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to pato under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as tu can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
read more...
Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted hace más de un año
fan of it?
19 fans
save
Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your pocket and say, "Oops, I forgot."
Ask the person siguiente to tu if they know how to tap into top-secret pentágono files.
Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the borrar key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever tu hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.
Borrow someone else's keyboard por reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why tu have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects.
Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
read more...