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Opinion by wild-bby posted hace más de un año
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My friend publicado these on her bebo page a while hace so I thought I'd share them with tu :D

1) Bring a pillow. Fall asleep until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say ``oh geez, better get cracking'' and do some gibberish work.

2) Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming ``Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!''

3) If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the surface integral symbol.

4) Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5) Talk the entire way through the exam. Read preguntas aloud, debate your respuestas with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, ``I'm SOOO sure tu can hear me thinking.'' Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6) Bring cheerleaders.

7) Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutos into it, loudly say to the instructor, ``I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?''
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Article by McDreamyluva posted hace más de un año
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Here's the famous 'Best Divorce Letter' por Dan to Connie, pretty hilarious, definitely a must read! xD



[i]Dear Connie,

I know the counselor dicho we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

The día tu left, I swore I'd never talk to tu again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first on to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always tu who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first mover as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt.

This is what my corazón says "There's no one like you, Connie. I look for tu in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close."
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Review by Free_Spirit posted hace más de un año
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Me: well I’m in tournament of the minds which is like a problem solving them which involves actuación it out. Anyway my team made it to state and on the bus trip back let’s just say I was hypo. This is my funny story and the día I lost all my friends lol.

Okay so we'd just had a good night’s rest after coming back. We didn't win but we had fun, so we boarded the bus and i thought i'd annoy my facilitator (in año 12) let’s call him Fred. Anyway so i sat siguiente to fred who i had sat siguiente to on the way and annoyed the hell out of him lol. Anyway so we took off and ‘Vince’ and 'Howard' (Females por the way, they choose those names off a mostrar called mighty boosh) and way and bolo and nabu sat together as well (same show) anyway so my fred pulled out a bag of lollies, tu know the really big bag, (you should know that I had ten saschets of sugar before, and I so won a bet lol) so i instantly took all the red ones out and ate them and anyone who took one from me was pushed down the isle of the bus lol. anyway a boy on the other side of me asked to play truth and dare so i obliged and did all dare feeling happy.
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Opinion by rolie1 posted hace más de un año
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MY CAT BUBBA WILL WALK ACROSS ME TO GET 2 PLACES... SO ONE día I WAS SLEEPING I WAS HAPPY,PEACEFUL, AND EVERYTHING U COULD IMAGINE UNTIL... BUBBA JUMPS ON THE cama AND I GUESS HE WANTED TO GET 2 THE OTHER SIDE SO HE WALKED ACROSS MY HEAD 2 GET THERE.... THAT WOKE ME UP AND IT WAS LIKE 5:00 IN THE MORNING... I WAS MAD SO MY MOM YELLED AT HIM 4 ME..... THE siguiente MORNING I WAS SO TIRED...

AND SOMETIMES IF BUBBA WANTS 2 GET TO THE OTHER SIDE HE WILL STILL WALK ACROSS MY HEAD! BUT I DONT GET MAD MUCH ANYMORE BUT ITS SO FUNNY... SO THAT WAS MY STORY ABOUT MY HILARIOUS/FUNNY CAT BUBBA

THE END... -BY ROLIE1!!!

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List by patrisha727 posted hace más de un año
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On an average work day, a typist's fingers travel 12.6 miles.

Every minuto in the U.S. six people turn 17.

Ten tons of el espacio dust falls on the Earth every day.

On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 preguntas a day.

Blue and white are the most common school colors.

Swimming pools in Phoenix, Arizona, pick up 20 pounds of dust a year.

In a normal lifetime an American will eat 200 pounds of peanuts and 10,000 pounds of meat.

A new book is published every 13 minutos in America.

America's best selling ice cream flavor is vanilla.

Every año the sun loses 360 million tons.

Because of Animal Crackers, many kids until they reach the age of ten, believe a oso, oso de is as tall as a giraffe.

The Gulf Stream could carry a message in a bottle at an average of 4 miles per hour.

The bulls-eye on a dartboard must be 5 feet 8 inches off the ground.
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List by SaitoSaturno posted hace más de un año
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1. I've got my biblioteca card and im checking tu out.
2.If I could rearrange thealphabet Id put U and I together.
3. Are tu wearing el espacio pants? Cuz your butt is out of this world!
4. Hey, girl scout, those galletas for sale?
5. tu must be a parking ticket, because you've got FINE written all over you.
6. Are tu a Pokemon? Cuz I wanna Pikachu!
7. I'd keep tu in isle 7; that's where we keep the hot tomales
8. So is it hard?
9. tu wanna hot dog to go with those buns? (LOL)
10. Do tu like it? You're job? Is it really hard? (gotta think dirty)
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List by patrisha727 posted hace más de un año
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Here's more! ^_^



During World War II, IBM built counting machines the Nazis used to manage their death/concentration camps.

During World War II, the British Intelligence used the Colossus Machines (precursor to computers) at Bletchley Park to help decode the enigma code of the Nazis.

The first Computer was ENIAC, short for Electronic Numerical Integrator And Computer, unveiled on February 14, 1946 (Thanks D.B. of AU)

The total combined weight of the worlds ant population is heavier than the weight of the human population.

The deadliest war in history excluding World War II was a civil war in China in the 1850s in which the rebels were led por a man who thought he was the brother of jesús Christ.

Just about 3 people are born every second, and about 1.3333 people die every second. The result is about a 2 and 2/3 net increase of people every second. Almost 10 people más live on this Earth now, than before tu finished lectura this.
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List by patrisha727 posted hace más de un año
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Thanks to the encouragement from Jarik, I had enough time to find some más facts! Sorry if some of these are repeated! :S


No piece of normal-size paper can be folded in half más than 7 times.

All swans in England are the property of the queen o king

The first product to have a bar code scanned was Wrigley's gum.

Earth is the only planet not named after a pagan God.

A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her cheating adulterous husband but she may only do so with her bare hands.

The new 787 Boeing was revealed on 7/8/07 o July 8th, 07.

Adding a drop of aceituna, oliva oil and limón jugo, jugo de to an ice cube then running it over your face gives tu better results than some expensive skin care products.

250 to 300 million cell phones are being used in the U.S

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Article by emisa123 posted hace más de un año
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1. Whenever tu eat ice cream with a friend, start canto "DO THE ICE CREAM AND CAKE! DO THE ICE CREAM AND CAKE!"

2. If your friends has a oro fish, put bubble soap in its bowl/aquarium. Stir it into the water.

3. If tu friends has a oro fish, put goldfish crackers into its bowl/aquarium. When your friends asks why, tell them the pescado were lonely.

4. When escritura and e-mail to your friends, WriT lIKe DIs.

5. Introduce your friend and then say "She/he's the crazy one" <- credit dado to CAITLYN_SU for that one

6. Sing The Song That Never Ends

7. When at their house, immediately open their fridge and eat whatever tu like.

8. mostrar them this lista XD

If tu have any más ways, please write them in comentarios so I can use them in future articles.

<3 Emisa123


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Opinion by Bibelot posted hace más de un año
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Washington Post Competition asked for a two line rhyme with the most romantic first line and least romantic segundo line.
This is the (hands down!!) winner...

'My darling,my love,my beautiful life;
Marrying tu simply demolished my life.

I see your face when i'm dreaming;
That's why i always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and HOT;
This describes everything you're not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take the paper bag off your face.

I amor your smile, your face, your eyes;
Damn,I'm good at telling lies!!!.'


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Opinion by rolie1 posted hace más de un año
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Supports your body’s antioxidant and nutritional needs.





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MonaVie features a delicious blend of the Brazilian açai berry—one of nature’s parte superior, arriba superfoods—and 18 other body-beneficial fruits. This Balance-Variety-Moderation approach to nutrition delivers powerful antioxidants and phytonutrients to help fight free radicals and maintain your body’s en general, general health.

Offers potent antioxidant protection against free radicals.
Features a wide array of nutrients for optimal health.
Delivers the antioxidant capacity of approximately 13 servings of fruits and vegetables in just four ounces.
Provides nutritional benefits for all ages.


COMPANY OVERVIEW

MonaVie is sold in the United States (and all its territories), Brazil, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Singapore, Japan, Israel, and Mexico. We are rapidly expanding to other markets around the world as we build a truly global brand.
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Article by Cyrusrocks posted hace más de un año
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Okay, i was almost spammed, so i am warning everyone here, spread this articulo far and wide. Yesterday, i was on my computer and this thing popped up. It was called Windows Security Suite, and it dicho that 20 virus' were attacking my computer. I called my mom and she dicho to turn off the computer. When she got home, we turned it back on, and apparently 23 virus' were attacking the computer, but, they were doing absolutely nothing to the computer, and Norton Antivirus never poped up and told us about these so-called virus' My sister couldn't figure it out, so we turned the computer off.( and it's only in my files of the computer) So, when i went on today, it dicho that 60 virus' were attacking the computer. (and it's always Windows Security Suite saying this) So i googled it, and all i could find was how to uninstall it, for people who had fallen for it and bough the $60 three-month package protection to make it go away. so anyways i clicked on one of the sites, and it says that Windows Security Suite is a FAKE antispyware program, therefore it is spam. So yeah, watch out for that and don't fall for it and tell other people.
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Article by emisa123 posted hace más de un año
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1. When in a public place, randomly shout "I TOLD tu TO STAY OFF DRUGS!" See what he/she does.

2. When your friends is trying to tell tu something important, grab a bag of Doritos and start eating them furiously.

3. When tu friends is trying to have a conversation with you, yell out "I amor YOU, TOO!" Repeat every few minutes.

4. If tu go to a McDonalds with your friends, when its time to order, randomly yell out "IT'S RONALD mcdonald's RETARDED PURPLE FRIEND!" Then go hug a misceláneo stranger.

5. When your friend is wearing a new white shirt, cover your hands with that naranja dust tu get on Nacho Cheese Flavored Doritos. Then, put your hand on your friends shoulder and say "I really like your shirt!"

6. When your friends is talking to you, randomly start lightly punching o kicking him. See how long it takes him to yell "KNOCK IT OFF!"

7. Avoid talking to your friend for a few days. When he/she asks tu why, give them the finger and run off. A few days later, start laughing and joking with them like nothing happened. Repeat every other week.
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Guide by akatsuki_otaku posted hace más de un año
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Pick the mes tu were born on...

1(Jan) - I shot
2 (Feb) -I ran shirtless with
3 (Mar) - I stabbed
4 (Apr) - I killed
5 (May) - I slapped
6 (June)-I robbed
7 (July) -I kissed
8 (Aug) -I smoked with
9 (Sept) - I needed
10 (Oct) - i hugged
11 (Nov) - I ran naked with
12 (Dec) - I banged

Pick the día (number) tu were born on...

01 - a rock star
02 - my boyfriend
03 -a hobo
04 - a homeless guy
05 - the one that i love
06 -the trojan man
07 - the cookie monster
08 - a sexy girl
09 - a bowl of cereal
10 - a mop
11 - a tooth brush
12 - a hobo
13 -a dog
14 - a drunk
15 - a crack head
16 - a cat
17 - a bag of weed
18 - the kool-aid man
19 - an Easter egg
20 - tori the snowman
21 - a hottie
22 - my crush
23 -yo momma
24 - a mexican
25 - a teletubby
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Guide by Bibelot posted hace más de un año
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These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations:

1.ADVERTISING SIGN:
A sign infront of an advertising agency in south super highway,"Rome wasn't build in a day.If it was,we would have hired the contractor."

2.VALENTINE CARDS:
"Now available in multi-packs."

3.IN A RESTAURANT:
"Open seven days a week and weekends."

4.IN A CEMETERY:
"People are prohibited from picking flores from any but their own graves."

5.ON A ROLLER COASTER:
"Watch your heads."

6.ON THE GROUNDS OF A PUBLIC SCHOOL:
"No trespassing without permission."

7.ON A TENNESSEE HIGHWAY:
"When this sign is underwater,this road is impossible to pass."

8.IN FRONT OF NEW CAR-WASH:
"If tu can't read this, it's time to wash your car."

9.IN FRONT OF USED CARS :
"Why go elsewhere to be cheated, come here first."
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Article by Cyrusrocks posted hace más de un año
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My sister sent me this, funniest thing ever.


Best Divorce Letter, EVERRRRRR!

Dear wife:

I'm escritura tu this letter to tell tu that I'm leaving tu forever. I've been a good man to tu for 7 years & I have nothing to mostrar for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that tu quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, tu came inicial & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorito! meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. tu ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. tu don't tell me tu amor me anymore; tu don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either tu are cheating on me o tu don't amor me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
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Guide by Bibelot posted hace más de un año
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1.Grimace painfully while smacking your head and muttering, "Shut up! dammit! all of tu just shut up".

2.Whistle the first 7 notes of 'it's a small world' incessantly.

3.Crack open your maletín o purse, and while peering inside asked,"Got enough air in there?"

4.Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wears your upside-down.

5.When arriving at your floor,grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open por themselves.

6.Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call tu an admiral.

7.On the highest floor,hold the door open and demand that it stays open until tu hear the penny tu dropped down the shaft to 'plink' at the bottom.

8.Stare, grinning, at another person for a while, and then announce,"i've got new socks on."

9.Meow occasionally.

10.Stare at another person for a while, then scream,"you are one of THEM" and mover to the far corner of the elevator.
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Opinion by Hollestercutie posted hace más de un año
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All with [x] apply to me all with r idks


I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

[x]I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.(yep)

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

[x]I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.(no)

I'm JAMICAN so I must smoke weed.
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List by patrisha727 posted hace más de un año
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This is the last part.... unless if Ilook for más facts! Thx for reading! ^_^




The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of F.

A whale's penis is called a dork.

Electricity doesn't mover through a wire but through a field around the wire.

The blueprints for the Eiffel Tower covered más than 14,000 square feet of drafting paper.

Abraham lincoln was the only U.S. president ever granted a patent.

General U.S. Grant owned slaves.

According to a British law passed in 1845, attempting to commit suicide was a capital offense. The punishment? The offense was punishable por hanging.

actuación was once considered to be evil, and the actors in the first English play to be performed in America were arrested.

In India it costs less to have sex with a prostitute than it does to buy a condom.

In Papua New Guinea there are villages within five miles of each other that speak different languages.
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List by shiriny posted hace más de un año
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one in 10 of the world's population is left handed.
four out of five machintosh computer designers were left handed,and one out of four Apollo astronauts were left handers too.

más famous left hander:

drew barry more

Angelina jolie

nicole kidman

Marilyn monroe

demi moore

Mary-kate and ashley olsen

julia roberts

Hans christian anderson

mark twain

Billy rayo, ray cyrus

celine dion

Pierce brosnan

jim carry

Hugh jackman

brad pitt

Michelangelo

leonardo davinci

Picasso

newton

Albert einstein

george bush

charlie chaplin

cary grant

napeleon bonaparte

bill gates

marie curie

rachel adams

mark spitz



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Opinion by flipflopkitteh posted hace más de un año
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-Cats: Will treat tu like slaves.
-Dogs: Will always see the best in you.

-Cats: Do not bark.
-Dogs: Make it their life's mission to bark.

-Cats: Shred your furniture.
-Dogs: Shred your shoes.

-Cats: Insist on being fed.
-Dogs: Wait for tu to feed them.

-Cats: Will sleep on your face without a thought.
-Dogs: When allowed, will sleep on your cama and take up all the space.

-Cats: Will barf on your clothes.
-Dogs: Will barf on the rug.

-Cats: Think they're royalty.
-Dogs: Think they own the house.

-Cats: Will sleep on the remote then have a hissy fit (pun intended) when tu try to retrieve it.
-Dogs: Will eat the remote.

-Cats: Will insist on your undivided attention, but only when they want it.
-Dogs: Will want your attention when the cat has it.

-Cats: Will make a point to sleep on your folded laundry.
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Opinion by sarabeara posted hace más de un año
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THIS lista ISN'T MINE. It belongs to "thatboyandrew" on youtube. This lista is from his original video. If tu haven't seen the video, here's the link:

link

NOTE: This is JUST a joke. I did not come up with this list. I just thought I'd post it for fun.

60) Latifah
59) Shaniqua
58) Latoya
57) Laquisha
56) La'Kisha
55) La'Tanya
54) Rohandra
53) Bon'Quisha
52) Sha'Tanya
51) Toprameneesha
50) La'Quishria
49) Bonifa
48) Shataniana
47) Levondia
46) Bufanaquishria
45) La'Quishraniqua
44) Barbeesha
43) Mo'Nique
42) Abduiniana
41) Fo'Landra
40) Kisha
39) Bon'Qui Qui
38) V'Lanta'la'mana'ma'nisha
37) Sha'Nay Nay
36) Tay Tay
35) Da'Quonde
34) La'Trice
33) Deedra
32) Tramicia
31) De'Lanice
30) Ka'Likatifrianiqua
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Article by monsy38 posted hace más de un año
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It started with me. That's not the weird part though. Apparantly I was a lion and I was sleeping on a cama with a porcupine sleeping on parte superior, arriba of me. The cama that i was on was floating on something and when i looked down i realized that it was floating on a river that led to a gigantic waterfall. I looked to the edges for something to hold on to but the land was too far away. I doubted wether anything that was on it would have helped me either way because instead of trees and vines there was a GIANT lamp, a HUGE worm holding a clock who's numbers were falling off,some weird colourful blob thing, and a BIG magdalena that instead of sprinkels had bitten apples. So, knowing that the end was near i began to pray and looked up at the sky. There was a nube floating lazily across it and gliding across the nube were two penguins. One of them had a four from the brocken clock on his beak. Moreover there was a mountain coming out of the sky where a ardilla was nesting. A messed up cube floated past the ardilla and i searched to see where it was coming from. Some really funky looking man that seemed to be made from confetti was blowing CUBE bubbles. At the same time he was riding a scooter...
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Article by shiriny posted hace más de un año
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-It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

-People say "Bless you" when tu sneeze because when tu sneeze, your corazón stops for a millisecond.

-It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky

-111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

-All polar bears are left handed.

-Butterflies taste with their feet.

-A caracol can sleep for three years.

-Elephants are the only animales that can't jump

-On average, people fear spiders más than they do death.

-The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

-Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!

-Men can read smaller print than women, but women can hear better.

-Coca Cola was originally green

-Babies are born with 300 bones, but por adulthood we have only 206 in our Bodies

-right handed people live on average nine years longer than left handed People do
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Article by shiriny posted hace más de un año
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-chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog's corazón and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.

-Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.

-Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

-Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

-Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

-A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head

-Brains are más active sleeping than watching TV

-There are más chickens than people in the world

-The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest

-The average four year-old child asks over four hundred preguntas a day.

-The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

-Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our noses and ears Never stop growing
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