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posted by IloveMyLord
Grammar, perfectly understood, enables us not only to express our meaning fully and clearly, but so to express it as to enable us to defy the ingenuity of man to give to our words any other meaning than that which we ourselves intend them to express.
William Cobbett
Grammar and logic free language from being at the mercy of the tone of voice. Grammar protects us against misunderstanding the sound of an uttered name; logic protects us against what we say have double meaning.
Rosenstock Huessy
The writer who neglects punctuation, o mispunctuates, is liable to be misunderstood for the want of merely...
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posted by australia-101
37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines
1. I wish tu were a door so I could slam tu all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do tu work for UPS? I thought I saw tu checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy tu a drink o do tu just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted cama Thrasher: have tu seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make tu the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and tu can...
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posted by tokidoki123
[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits siguiente Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have tu tried mostrando him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like tu - very homosexually.
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - pescado Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...
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posted by hetaliaitaly
26
What i feel on the inside is not what i mostrar on the outside i dont mostrar amor i dont know vein my life will never be the same i cant tell tu how i feel because the hurt deep within my corazón is all so real the anger and hurt i cannot stand makes me feel like im the mist floating never going to rest in peace i dont no how i found this its maybe when people laugh and shout no matter what they say o how they feel i always think my life is not real.


(over 100 teens each año kill themselves o think suicide because of being bullied o teased it doesent matter if standing up for someone helps tu but atleast it helps someone else and it may save a life)
posted by Usui--takumi
8
I'm Against death penalty. Looking at the death penalty system in action, tu realize that the only purpose it serves is retribution o revenge, it is seriously (and intrinsically) flawed in application and that there is a serious and continuing risk of executing innocent people. And, it costs much más than life in prison.
130 people wrong fully convicted people were sentenced to death and were lucky to be exonerated and released, eventually. DNA, available in less than 10% of all homicides, can’t guarantee we won’t execute innocent people. If someone is convicted and later found innocent...
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This pato walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do tu have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the pato leaves.

The siguiente day, the pato returns and asks, "Do tu have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the pato leaves.

The día after that, the pato walks in the store again and asks "Do tu have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told tu no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if tu come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...
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Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.


Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable por the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby...
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474 Things To Do When You're Bored


- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a cama of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your almohada X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of...
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1) Lean over them when there asleep and sing a lullaby really loud and out of tune.

2) Every five minutos yell "The aliens are coming!"

3) Choose a specifice piece of cutlery (eg. a fork) and stare accusingly at that item every time tu see it.

4) Buy face paints and paint their face when there asleep. Try doing something the person is afriad of. (eg. clown, zombie)

5) Announce that tu are actually a secret agent, spying on somone who lives in your house.

6) Call your house number and announce that tu are going on strike. If they ask for a reason, hang up. Caution: Make sure tu dont get a wrong number!!

7) Put ice cubes in everyone's warm drink.

8) Every time they speak interrupt them with "Curiosity killed the cat."

9) Set alarms on your mobile/cell phone that go off every 10 minutes.
posted by ilovetowrite
26
lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
people on misceláneo are the dumbest persons in life they are very disappointed ,they are lost everywhere ,they forget freedom is just another life ,and they are depressed and don't get a life
How pathetic !
They are real trolls
they are annoying
and they will go to hell soon
i'll kick their dirty culo soon
HOW Pathetic are they ?

they should be burnt here and send to the hell!


lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
olololololololloooolloo
posted by alessequinn
14
my opinion on friendship is tu have to have a friend for starters. but what tu also need is a person who is kind, caring, supportive, trustworthy, and theres alot of other things, and ohh not to forget a person who isnt rude to you. wannna no why im bringing the last thing on my lista up its because thats whats going on to me. my name is alesse and my so called friends name is madison. well ever since january shes been runing me down, letting her anger out on me, and talking behind my back. i dont wanna friend like that. so i did some investigating and nothing wrong is going on in her life....
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Useful Hawaiian Phrases
On the Plane
My how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!


If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance
Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.


I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.


Only six dollars for a headset? Why thats only three dollars per ear!
Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no kala o kahi pepeiao!


Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name
E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe...
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posted by yukikiyruu
1
Sleeping Beauty: Perfect for the sleepyheads.
Dolly Wholly: This name is perfect for the well-dressed girl.
Honey Bunny: Ideal for your playful girlfriend.
Cutsie Wootsie: This cute name is excellent to say when tu are pinching her cheeks with both hands.
Pretty Eyes: If your girlfriend has crystal-clear, beautiful eyes, then tu may call her por this cute name.
Princess: It is a perfect name for your girlfriend, if she has that little girl spirit.
Pumpkin: This name can be used for casual moments.
Doll Face: This name is perfect for a girl with a cute face.
Beautiful: It is a simple but effective...
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posted by iluvsmj
3
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of tu bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of tu bastards who are getting on, get your culo in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want tu to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When tu come out,you may play with your train, but I want you...
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posted by spunkyonyx
If tu have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, tu have $1.19. tu also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest misceláneo speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once...
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posted by spunkyonyx
2
hola guys, found some interesting and strange facts, some are just facts I have known a long time ago(school, wandering around websites), others are ones that I have found, I apply the fuente if available. Any others tu may want to add up feel free to do so. Enjoy!

1) Coca-cola was once green.
It was green because it was accidentally carbonated when a clerk squirted syrup into the wrong glass.

2)Barbie doll measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. Wow... she's cut from the team.

3)Intelligent people have más zinc and copper in their hair. *Checks... Woot!

4)You blink about 84 million times...
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posted by karpach_14
3
Here with me, I’ve got 99 facts!

Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
Guys hate other flirts.
A guy can like tu for a minute, and then forget tu afterwards.
When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
Are tu doing something?” o “Have tu eaten already?” are the first usual preguntas a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
Guys may be flirting around all día but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
When a guy really likes...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: www.rinkworks.com
I thought these were funny, what do tu guys think?


"Do not use if tu cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping o unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

"Do not place this product...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
2
Gemini.
Your element: Air
Your ruling planets: Mercury
Symbol: The Twins
Your stone: Aquamarine
Life Pursuit: To explore a little bit of everything.
Vibration: Intense mental energy
Gemini's Secret Desire: To be ahead of the crowd


Description:
In ancient Greek mythology, Gemini's ruler - Mercury, was the light-footed messenger of the gods who darted back and forth across the heavens delivering news - which might explain why those born under the sign of the 'Twins' are always on the move; thirsty for knowledge and new experiences. Terminally curious and sometimes even mischievous, Geminis are...
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posted by Wanda5
5
1.Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle
2.For each question, press the siguiente button to get your answer

1.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
2.WHAT DO YOUR friends THINK OF YOU?
3.WHAT IF tu GOT SO MAD, THAT EVERYONE STAYED AWAY FROM tu AND LET tu HAVE YOUR el espacio FOR 4 DAYS?
4.WHAT IF THERE WAS A STALKER CHASING YOU?
5. WHAT WOULD tu DO IF YOUR FRIEND BETRAYED YOU?
6.WHAT IF tu SAW A BUNCH OF misceláneo PEOPLE/THINGS?
7.WHAT IF A MALE FRIEND DID EVERY THING AN ADULT CAN DO?
8.WHAT DO tu WANT TO BE WHEN tu GROW UP?
9.WHAT DO tu THINK WHEN tu SEE THE PERSON tu LIKE?
10.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
11.WHAT WILL...
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