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Review by nessienjake posted hace más de un año
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From A Mother With amor (funny)
Dear Child,

I am escritura this slow because I know that tu can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when tu left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your inicial so we moved.

I won't be able to send tu the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the segundo time for four days. The capa tu wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve dicho it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.
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List by nessienjake posted hace más de un año
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I found this on the internet :)

101 Ways To Annoy People
...........................................
[b] 1. Sing the batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If tu have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours por hooking a videocámara to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal por conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
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List by nessienjake posted hace más de un año
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Haha I read this (from my email)
And I thought of sharing it with tu guys :D

...


Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!

[i] 1. We got off the titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character o the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxi's stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free cine ... (you get the point).
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Article by nessienjake posted hace más de un año
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I recieved and correo electrónico with a lista of misceláneo jokes I thought I'd share it with tu guys :)


Lawyer Joke
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
[i]A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" dicho the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he dicho he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he dicho everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
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Opinion by yashar_safavi posted hace más de un año
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# Attend at least one major sporting event: the Super Bowl, the Olympics, the U.S. Open.

# Throw a huge party and invite every one of your friends.

# Swim with a dolphin.

# Skydive.

# Have your portrait painted.

# Learn to speak a foreign language and make sure tu use it.

# Go skinny-dipping at midnight in the South of France.

# Watch the launch of the el espacio shuttle.

# Spend a whole día eating basura comida without feeling guilty.

# Be an extra in a film.

# Tell someone the story of your life, sparing no details.

# Make amor on a forest floor.

# Make amor on a train.

# Learn to rollerblade.

# Own a room with a view.

# Brew your own beer.

# Learn how to take a compliment.

# Buy a round-the-world air ticket and a rucksack, and run away.

# Grow a beard and leave it for at least a month.
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Opinion by Rock_n_Roll671 posted hace más de un año
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Okay, I;m not saying tu should ACTUALLY do this, but if u want to, u can, and put in the comentarios which ones you're going to try out.
__________________________________________________

1. When you're getting a drink of water at the water fountain, and he passes by, get a handfull of water and throw it at the crotch of his pants, and then yell, "HE PEED HIS PANTS!"

2. Run underwear up a flagpoll, solute, and when your princible scolds you, say, "You're just saying that cuz tu hate America."

3. When tu go to the princible's office, and when he asks why tu were sent, say, "I wrote that tu sucked in the girl's bathroom."

4. When tu two meet in the hallway, say a curse word, and when he yells at you, say, "YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY EVER SINCE THE día I dicho NO WHEN tu ASKED ME TO MARRY YOU!!!!"

5. (This one is for boys only) When you're in the hallway, and tu see your princible, yell in front of everyone, "MY SISTER IS PREGNANT WITH MY BABY!!!!!! Oops, that didn't come out right..."
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Opinion by stickymonkey posted hace más de un año
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1. Try to start a wave

2. Gasp every time there is a swear word.

3. Wear a huge Afro wig.

4. Every 15 minutos stand up and then sit back down.

5. Yell out to the screen “Don’t Do It!”

6. If there is a amor scene, reach over in front of tu and cover a misceláneo person’s eyes.

7. Stand in front of the screen motionless and face the audience the entire movie.

8. Scalp tickets outside the theater.

9. If a catchy song plays in the movie stand up and dance.

10. Bring an attachable seat-belt. Strap it to your asiento and then clip it on yourself. Turn to the person siguiente to tu and say, “you never know”.

11. Talk really loud on your cell phone.

12. Demand that somebody puts the volume up.

13. Sit at the back, raise your arms to the projector and make shadow puppets on the screen.

14. Bring a laser pen and shoot it at the screen.
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Opinion by KatiiCullen94 posted hace más de un año
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Beg for a playstation 3 every time tu with her while withdrawing money
Borrow her panties. Tell her about it a week later. Make sure to tell her that you’re sorry, for added effect.
Play Thunderhorse on guitarra Hero. Forever. Only Thunderhorse.
Lick her nose. When she tells tu to stop, promise to do so, but do it anyway. It’s okay. It was just a white lie.
Flirt with anything with two legs. Make sure to make obvious glances to your girlfriend while tu do. Speak with hushed whispers.
Invite her to a movie. When she shows up, tell her tu changed your mind and would rather go visit your grandparents. Make sure to tell her she is invited.
Figure out what language she dislikes the most. Make sure to slip a few words from that language into your sentences.
Foreplay – Then no play after she is nice and ready. Guys can be not in the mood, too!
Come up with silly nicknames and be sure to use them often. Names like McBunnerson and Dizzle are great.
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Opinion by KatiiCullen94 posted hace más de un año
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1.If tu know that the guy is a Knicks fan, get front seats to a Knicks game and then prevent him from watching the final. Send him to the refreshments stand to get tu a coca cola instead, ensuring that he misses seeing that last crucial game-winning basket.

2.Take him to a chick flick marathon. If that isn't annoying enough, examen him throughout the movie about what he's thinking. Ensure that a big beefy fan of Sleepless in Seattle gets annoyed and sweetly tell him that your boyfriend could wipe the floor with him. Only be comforting after the guy gets a black eye.

3.Let him cook cena for you- his specialty of roast lamb. Then when he's proudly offering tu the meal he's slaved over all afternoon, tu start sobbing and say that tu wished tu ate meat. Then sing 'Mary Had A Little Lamb' and burst into fresh tears, until he offers to take tu to a vegetarian restaurant, where tu tell everyone within earshot that tu can't eat, because your boyfriend thinks you're fat.
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Opinion by CullenProperty posted hace más de un año
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1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the horno on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add an extra goldfish to the goldfish bowl.
12.    Leave a condom wrapper under a sofa cushion.
13.    Make yourself a meal. Be polite and wash the dishes.
14.    See how much pay-per-view porn tu can order in one day.
15.    Set the TiVo to record nothing but infomercials.
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Opinion by KatiiCullen94 posted hace más de un año
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1. when i sneeze i sneeze again like straight after the first one, i cant just sneeze once!!

2. i don't tan. i burned, peel and then white again!

3. when i use new soap, my hands itch.

4. i like to read out load. lectura in my head is a little unfocused for me.

5. i get zits on my arms!!! eww!

6. i have two freckles on my thighs that look my bites, (im a fangerbanger!! shh)

7. i really really really hate crocs (the shoes!)

8. i will scream down a building if i see toads! i am petrified!!

9. i constantly talk to myself, and i mean it!! ALLLLLLLLLLLL THE TIME!!!

10. I make funny noise when i drink, i cant help it!

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Opinion by jedigal1990 posted hace más de un año
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hello fanpopers i'm writting this articulo to talk about one of the best things i like about fanpop. I amor all the amazing people here the ones who are so kind and caring i couldn't believe in my status i wrote i was kinda down and within two minutos over 5 people asked me if i was okay and helped me feel better. This is not the first time it happened either.
I amor being on a site where tu can have a group of friends that tu live far away from and have never actually meet and yet trust them and feel like they are your true friends. and have the feeling that they actually care for tu its incredible and its one of the reasons i amor fanpop.
I amor the sense of a community i get on here. I have been on other social sites and didn't like them very much but most people on here, there are a few bad apples, are so welcoming and polite and close knit.
i never expected when i came on here to become friends with so many great people. people who honestly make my día brighter (you know who tu are) i amor how for the most part people respect each other and stand up for each other and support each other.
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Article by shiriny posted hace más de un año
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Type out the sentence tu end up in comments:

Pick the mes tu were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March----------I karate chopped
April------------I licked
May------------I jumped on
June-----------I smelled
July------------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the día (number) tu were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbour
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
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Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted hace más de un año
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Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the parte superior, arriba of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long día of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill dicho to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task por concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped canto and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"
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Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted hace más de un año
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1. NAMES:

•    If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

•    If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT:

•    When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.

•    When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY:

•    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs

•    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS:

•    A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
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Article by TOTALIzzyluver posted hace más de un año
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Ok thx 4 the comentarios in part 2! most of them were awesome! So here is Part 3!!
__________________________________________________

Awesome: Sup Z??

Z: Pigs!!

Awesome: Yeah they make funny noises!

Z: I see a penguin!

Awesome: We're not in Africa !

Z: Oh did u see Billy Bob's año book picture?

Awesome: No is there something wrong with it?

Z: yeah i had no clue he had a beard!

Awesome: I think ice cream should come in a chocolate flavor

Z: They do...

Awesome: MY gramma has a pretty kitty

Z: aren't all kittys pretty

Awesome: We went out last night

Z: tu and who?

Awesome: Charlie Bartlett

Z: As in the movie?

Awesome: Just kidding i went with my parents

Z: To where?

Awesome: Mississippi

Z: All in a day?

Awesome: Yup we drove down yesterday and came back today!
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List by Jeffersonian posted hace más de un año
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Of 8th grade through College 'student reports':


Ancient Egypt was inhabited por mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an manzana, apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

Moses led the hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened pan de molde, pan which is pan de molde, pan made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

Actually, Homer was not written por Homer but por another man of that name.
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List by Jeffersonian posted hace más de un año
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A teacher forwarded this lista of comentarios from test papers, essays, etc., publicado to science and health teachers por elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As she noted, It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.

The body consists of three parts - the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the corazón and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u.
Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.
H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
When tu smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is ginebra and water.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
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Opinion by Jeffersonian posted hace más de un año
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These are purported to be actual test respuestas from various schools in the Huntsville, Alabama metropolitan area.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes por which water can be made seguro to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water seguro to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded por sky.

SOCIOLOGY
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If tu are buying a house, they will insist tu are well endowed.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

BIOLOGY
Q: What happens to your body as tu age?
A: When tu get old, so do your bowels and tu get intercontinental.

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Article by TOTALIzzyluver posted hace más de un año
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Sooo i continued my Druckies skik soooo here it is. Enjoy. and thx for the awesome coments on the last 1
_________________________________________________

Z:Hi Awesome!!

Awesome: hola watz up??

Z: Pie

Awesome: what about pie??

Z: I LIKE IT!!

Awesome: doesn't everybody??

Z: Your soo giggly

Awesome: What?

Z: OMG! theres a paper frilly under ur butt! (pokes at frilly)

Awesome: Theres a frilley under ur butt so u poke it??

Z: um? False? is this a trick question??

Awesome: Your a trick question

Z: and it took u that long 2 figure it out??

Awesome: ......

Z: Lets play uno

Awesome: sorry i dont speak spanish

Z: Pity

Awesome: I went to a party last night

Z: cool how did it go??

Awesome: Pretty cool 'til the cops showed up

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Guide by cassie-1-2-3 posted hace más de un año
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Brain freeze, also referred to an "ice cream headache" (a personal favorito! of mine) o a más scientific term, a "cold-stimulus headache". Before revealing the secrets to living a brain freeze free life, I want to tell tu a little about what they actually are and what causes them so that maybe tu can come up with a few of your own ways to avoid the dreaded.

Brain freezes are usually experienced when tu apply ice cream (or any similar cold food/drink) to the roof of your mouth. There is a cluster of nerves (sphenopalatine nerve) right above the roof of your mouth that act somewhat as a personal, protective thermostat for your brain. They are very sensitive to any abrupt change is temperature. The nerves sends a message to your brain, warning it of a major freeze, so it would be wise to prepare itself.

As this happens, the blood vessels surrounding the brain shrink as a protective barrier and to keep the warm blood around the brain for a longer period of time. The pounding sensation tu feel is the blood trying to squeeze through the shrunken vessels.
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Article by xxXsk8trXxx posted hace más de un año
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Note: The autor of this poem decided to stay anonymous for various reasons. I needed to post his poem, though. He gave me permission. I think that it's great.
Thank you.


Late dawns and early sunsets, just like my favorito! scenes

I sat on my cama on a cold night. He's in the same house as I.

Then holding hands and life was perfect, just like up on the screen

I remembered when we used to play as little kids

And the whole time while always giving
Counting your face among the living

We're older now. I need to get over the fact that tu hate me now...

Up and down escalators, pennies and colder fountains
Elevators and half price sales, trapped in por all these mountains

I do see you, but it's not the same...

[i]Running away and hiding with you
I never thought they'd get me here
Not knowing you'd change from just one bite
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Fan fiction by Jeffersonian posted hace más de un año
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My partner, Robert Goren, and his leg is that he does that moment, because the siguiente thing I need a abandoned warehouse.
Eames, help me turn over the head and everything goes black.
My partner, Robert Goren, and slip into a warm water feels good, and begins to my house.
I blink twice before I get a better look at where have I just happen to my house.
I know, somebody hits me over the head He's got a shower.
I get lonely.
I get lonely.
I want to the crime scene.
The body of grey sweatpants, and over.
I need a tad bit too much.
I can't believe I just dicho that, I unlock the same apartment building as I unlock the victim accidently looking at him, then Goren points something else out His skin's pruned up.
Maybe he tries to get a good long look at that moment, because that probably just a large latex gloved hand him the victim's file which I fantasize about to say If tu at least stay at least tonight for yourself.
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Opinion by lilred96 posted hace más de un año
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mysterious amor

- chapter 13-





"Ok tu can open them now."
When I opened my eyes my mouth droped.
"Go carts! How did...when did...THATS AWESOME!"
He laughed "I thought tu would like them."
"Well tu were right! " Then I realized I was actuación like a 6 año old in front of the hottest guy I had ever seen.
"I mean umm... there...great?"
"Dont worry your not actuación like a six año old." Mathew smiled at me.

How did he no that?


Then of course me being me.i
I dicho the stupied possible thing any body could EVER say.

"You look so cute when tu smile like that." I could just imagin the big hearts in my eyes.
Ugh I am such a DORK! june why would tu say somthing lik...
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Opinion by RulerL0rd posted hace más de un año
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Ghetto Names

Mostly popular with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming más common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us por our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua , Aqueelah , Aqueeta , Arickiara , Ariyichia , Arleisha , Arlenisha , Armarsha , Arnesha , Arshanae , Artazia , Arteisha , Ashaboushawntae , Ashanae , Ashcacowanna , Ashemelia , Ashinkashea , Asinti , Aswann , Aubalolisha , Aunshawnalakeisha , Aushaniquia

Babaganoosh , Baeshawn , Baflesha , Barackeisha , Baranna , Barkia , Barsheniqua , Bashonda , Berlondrika , Bernisha , Bethea , Betricia , Beyontsay , Biara , Bicorian , Bidisha , BiQuaysa , Blanacah , Bokesha , Bonafashonda , Boobiqua , Boomsheeka , Bonequeeta , Boneshalaquata , Boneshaquitalafonda...
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