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List by CullenProperty posted hace más de un año
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1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to tu as much as tu enjoy listening.
3. Don't say tu understand when tu don't.
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!
5. tu don't have PMS; don't act like tu know what it's like.
6. Saying something sweet might get tu off the hook; doing something sweet will always get tu off the hook.
7. If tu talk about having a big Dick; we know tu don't.
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.
9. We don't like it when tu act like Mr. Big.
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys not us.
11. No matter what tu say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe.
12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.
13. If tu did something wrong o even if tu didn't, apologize.
14. Be spontaneous; cena and a movie won't always cut it.
15. We are self-conscious por nature; we can't help it.
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Opinion by ilovepenguins posted hace más de un año
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1. "I enjoy staring at you!"

2. "I amor the socks tu wore last Monday."

3. "Hey, do tu like the earings I bought just to impress you?"

4. "Did tu see how cute Justin looks today?"

5. "I prank called tu the other night. Did tu know it was me?"

6. "My mom loves your haircut."

7. "Dont tu hate it when tu get atomic wedgies?"

8. "I'm your biggest fan."

9. "How come tu didn't ask me to the dance?"

10. "Do tu Yahoo?"

11. "I lost my watch. Can I have yours?"

12. "My dad wants to meet you."

13. "Did tu know thats not Michelle's real nose?"

14. "I got us tickets to see the opera."

15. "Does my butt look big to you?"

16. "I think Gretchen is jealous now that tu and I are 'a thing."

17. "Do tu know my name?"

18. "Don't tu hate it when your finger gets stuck up your nose?"
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Opinion by ilovepenguins posted hace más de un año
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1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes por waving it and
saying, “Quite right, old bean!”
2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the
overhead projector.
3. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
4. Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
5. When the professor calls your name in roll, respond “that’s my name, don’t
wear it out!”
6. Introduce yourself to the class as the “master of the pan flute”.
7. Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would
go if he died tomorrow.
8. Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.
9. Leave permanent markers por the dry-erase board.
10. Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle
of lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask whether he was ever in an episode
of Starsky and Hutch.
11. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip
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Opinion by 7things posted hace más de un año
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Opinion by 7things posted hace más de un año
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Opinion by 7things posted hace más de un año
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Opinion by sapherequeen posted hace más de un año
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KoRn Poster - I know. Epic :)
Okay, so lately I've been bored and I'm a little upset because someone took me off their fanlist (I know, I have no reason to be upset considering how many fans I have, but I'm just too sensitive to not mind). So, to distract myself, I'm going to see if I can come up with over 20 rock bands/singers that I love, and name the parte superior, arriba 5 songs I amor from each band :)

I'm not going to lie, this will probably be endlessly boring...but I didn't no where else to write this, and this is the misceláneo club....

Well, I'm gonna start.


1. KoRn
(Songs: Hushabye, Twisted Transistor, Politics, No Way, Haze)
2. Evanescence
(My Last Breath, Bring Me To Life, Like You, Bleed [I Must Be Dreaming], Lose Control)
3. System of a Down
(Ego Brain, Mr. Jack, Aerials, Innervision, Toxicity)
4. Hypnogaja
(Misfits, Outside, Looking In) - I don't know a lot of songs por this band right now....
5. Seether
(Fake It, Hang On, FMLYHM, Fallen, Walk Away From The Sun)
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Opinion by KatiiCullen94 posted hace más de un año
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"dear Alice.
i don't know why i say alice anymore, i think now i write these emails to myself, to secure me that tu were real, that tu all were , that he was.
There is evidence that tu were here. and was my best friend. But sometimes i dont know wheither i was dreaming o not, But i stop that thought to think again, if it was a dream and tu diddnt exist,then how did i know your name, o did i make tu up, along with every one else. Maybe i'm going crazy, from without tu i dont know. But i want to find out. Do tu think a crazy person can be the one to digiosed themselves?? Lets hope for my sake that they can.
I know tu wont read this, o that fact that tu havent even read one. they jsut get sent back to me, unread, failed, jsut like i know this one will to.
But i think this is the only thing that stops me from doing what i shouldn't do. what ever that is.
Charlie would say hi, if he knew anything. I've been so quite that me andcharlie no longer talk.
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Opinion by KatiiCullen94 posted hace más de un año
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how tu chose to express yourself
is all your own and i can tell
it comes naturally
it comes naturally

tu follow what tu feel inside
listen to it,you have to try
it comes naturally
mmmmm it comes naturally

and it takes my breath away
what tu do so naturally

CHORUS
tu are the thunder and
i am the lightening
and i amor the way tu know
who tu are and to me it's exciting
when tu know it's meant to be
everything comes naturally
it comes naturally when your with me baby
everything comes naturally
it comes naturally
ba ba baby

tu have a way of moving me
a force of nature your energy
it comes naturally
(you know it does)
it comes naturally
mmmm yeah

and it takes my breath away
(every time)
what tu do so naturally

tu are the thunder
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Guide by R33n33sm3 posted hace más de un año
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I was bored so I decided to make some lyrics I would possibly sing :}}
Oh and i feel very sad now so everything I wrote here is kinda similar to what I feel right now :S


Remember our sad story?
I waited for you.
It wasn't until long after
that I learned your corazón was
somewhere else.

Can't I see you?
Can't I amor you?
Don't forget our sad amor story.
I am always with tu
whenever tu feel sad.




and to end of some very nice amor quotes:

"A kiss is a lovely trick, designed por nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous."

"Make me immortal with a kiss."

"You come to amor not por finding the perfect person, but por seeing an imperfect person perfectly."

"The most powerful symptom of amor is a tenderness which becomes at times almost insupportable."
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Fan fiction by Fangirl99 posted hace más de un año
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As Vanessa walked into the spooky house,she looked for Dr.Vamp.

"hello?is anybody here?hello?"

"Good evening,"a voice called out sounding a lot like Dracula.

"huh?whos that?"Vanessa asked the voice with no body.

"Turn around."called the voice

so she did,and turned to a white man with very pale skin,and red lip stick

"come,sit."said the white man,pointing to his chair.

"Hello,i am Dr.Vamp.Who do we have here?"

"My name is Vanessa Colorado,and ive been experiencing strange behavior."

"mhm,like what?"

"well,at school today,i bit someones arm"

"Did blood come out"

"a little"

"were there marks?"

" yes,tiny ones,though."

"Did tu taste the blood?"

"no,sir."

"mhm,i see.What is your name again?"

"Vanessa Colorado."

"ahah!ive beed waiting for tu for a very long time now" He began to lick is lips
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Fan fiction by Fangirl99 posted hace más de un año
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Chapter 2:the mysterious sign

Vanessa Colorado of Waysway school was going to her locker to get her stupid homework. She was tried,in pain,and achy. She thought it was just a cold,but it was a lot worse than she knew. “oh,look who the cat dragged in,”said Susan,the meanest chic in school.

“shut up,ok?”Vanessa dicho sternly. “im in a really bad mood.”

“why? Cause tu realized your having a bad hair day?”katie asked. the 3 laughed.

“hey!leave her alone!”called out kylie,who was walknig to her locker.

“oh,look,im so scared,what are tu gonna do about it?”taunted susan.

“thats it,”grumbled kylie she took Susan's poni, pony tail,and yanked it.

“ouch!so,your gonna play like that,eh?”said Susan,still in pain She pushed kylie into her locker. She then fell in pain.

“what the hell?”Vanessa asked.

“she started it,”susan informed And,without holding back,Vanessa ran and bit her arm.
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Fan fiction by Fangirl99 posted hace más de un año
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another monday,at waysway high school. Vanessa for hated school for mainly for 1 reason. susan.katie.ashlee.the meanest,popular,and prettiest girls in the school.they always taunt vanessa for being different. people thought ashe was different for her personality,but,that wasnt the only reason.
there was only one girl who didnt care if she was different.kylie.kylie was the smartest gilr in school,thats why she got made fun of. she was a nerd. though she had no braces,gloasses,or anything.in fact,vanessa thought kylie was prettier than susan,ashle,or katie.
People think they know vanessa,but,they dont,not yet. she had a very terrible,scary,and strange experiance.when tu hear it,it may seem like a dream,but,its all true.its not a lie.its not a tall tale.its a true story. 100% true
this the satory of Vanessa Colorado.
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Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted hace más de un año
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10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"

9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on the back of your knuckles permed.

8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.

7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke. (Also repeat using Squirty Cheese, A fuego Extinguisher o Mace if desired.)

6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.

5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.

4. Hand a stack of under-pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof".

3. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.

2. Try trousers on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
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Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted hace más de un año
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1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.

2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that tu didn't ask the price for.

3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the comida comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.


4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.


5. Pay for a large order in pennies.


6. Drive in circles around the drive through, ording just one item of your order each time tu pass the window. For added fun, change clothes, hairstyles, glasses and fake beards with each pass.


7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them tu are just window-shopping and drive on.


8. Leave a big 4 litre bottle of ketchup on your dashboard. When asked if tu would like ketchup with your meal, laugh sadistically for a few seconds, then adopt a serious expression and gesture to the bottle on your dashboard.
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Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted hace más de un año
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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the siguiente thing that comes out of it's butt."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the brindis, pan tostado to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks maíz and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a coche fúnebre carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when tu get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
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Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted hace más de un año
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1. Stick your palm open under the stall muro and ask your
neighbour, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence
with a bodily function noise

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot! My glass eye!"

6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 segundos and then drop a
cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh
relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with manzana, apple juice. Squirt it
erratically under the stall walls of your neighbours while
yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread maní, cacahuete mantequilla on a wad of
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List by Liepe posted hace más de un año
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For my friend.
__________________________________________________

If tu climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.

Talk slowly, think quickly.

Never approach a toro from the front, a horse from the rear o a fool from any direction.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whloe lot easier than puttin' it back.

Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone.

Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean tu have to offer it a place to sit down.

If tu find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Don't wake a sleepin' rattler.

Don't squat witn your spurs on.

Every trail has some puddles.

Speak your mind, but drive a fast horse.

Never corner something meaner then you.

It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stuiped than open your mouth and prove it.

If your ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.
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Opinion by nessienjake posted hace más de un año
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haha I loved it...^.^ no offense to any blonde people around fanpop and around the world :D


Blonde Joke
the funniest blonde joke
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutos looking at the naranja jugo, jugo de box because it dicho "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to cama to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
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Article by nessienjake posted hace más de un año
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It was on my correo electrónico and I found it funny so I decided that other people might read it too :)





Poor guy

[b] A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and pistolas and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of cama and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the cama he gets on parte superior, arriba of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I amor you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't besar my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought tu were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I amor tu too!!"...
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List by nessienjake posted hace más de un año
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ABC's of ex girlfriends
A
is for Arteries.
tu know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for tu tu twit she was only after your money and could have dado a shit about you.

B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when tu took her out and she dicho "I'm not hungry" so tu figured tu could take her to a nice place because tu were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate más than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So tu flip the bill and are broke for the siguiente two weeks and she wonders why tu were unable to call her that week and go see movies.
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Guide by nessienjake posted hace más de un año
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Haha I found it on the internet and I just loved it :)
its short but funny :D


A Really Bad día
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps siguiente to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy tu another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This día is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police dicho that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in cama with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, tu mostrar up and drink my poison."
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Review by nessienjake posted hace más de un año
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From A Mother With amor (funny)
Dear Child,

I am escritura this slow because I know that tu can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when tu left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your inicial so we moved.

I won't be able to send tu the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the segundo time for four days. The capa tu wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve dicho it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.
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List by nessienjake posted hace más de un año
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I found this on the internet :)

101 Ways To Annoy People
...........................................
[b] 1. Sing the batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If tu have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours por hooking a videocámara to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal por conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
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List by nessienjake posted hace más de un año
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Haha I read this (from my email)
And I thought of sharing it with tu guys :D

...


Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!

[i] 1. We got off the titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character o the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxi's stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free cine ... (you get the point).
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