misceláneo Club
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hola everyone, I just joined.

I stumbled upon this while surfing the net. I'm posting the ones I thought were the funniest. (I'm not the autor of any, of course, and I don't know whom to credit.) Hope tu like it.


Three things are certain: 
Death, taxes, and lost data. 
Guess which has occurred.

Everything is gone; 
Your life's work has been destroyed. 
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

The code was willing, 
It considered your request, 
But the chips were weak. 

Windows NT crashed. 
I am the Blue Screen of Death. 
No one hears your screams. 

Errors have occurred. 
We won't tell tu where o why. 
Lazy...
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See if this is a scary story. I'm trying to write a scary (that will turn romantic) part in my fanfic, but I don't know if this piece of… cake, is creepy. Help me!!!


*Note: This happens in an afternoon. A couple is at the airport. The lights went out because of the thunderstorm, and the girl tries to scare the guy with this story*
Once upon a time, there was a boy who didn't believe in ghosts. One day, he was at the airport with this friend. Suddenly, the lights turned off.
The friend started to tell a story about a criminal that hid in the airport to escape the police, in a stormy afternoon,...
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posted by JustinDrew_B
1
[Intro]
Rack rack city perra [repeat]
Mugga on the beat

[Verse 1]
Rack city perra Rack Rack city bitch
Ten ten ten twenties on ya titties bitch
100 deep V.I.P. no guest list
T-Raw tu don't know who tu fucking wit?
Got my other perra fucking wit my other bitch
Fucking all night nigga we ain't celibate
Make it sound too dope I ain't selling it
Bar fresher than a motherfucking peppermint
Gold leather man last king killing shit
Young money young money yeah we getting rich
Get ya grandma on my dick (ha ha)
Girl tu know what it is

[Hook x2]
Rack city perra Rack Rack city perra [x3]
Ten ten ten twenties and them...
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posted by rayrayrox
2
JANUARY BABY
Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.

FEBRUARY BABY
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not mostrar it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows...
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posted by pokemonyellow
Dandruff in a bottle? Don’t be gross! It’s a winter wonderland! Capture the wonders of a white navidad with this homemade snow globe!

Materials:
•    Empty Jar
•    Super Glue
•    Christmas Figurine
•    Pack of Glitter

Step 1: Get a clear glass jar with a lid. Clean it with a piece of newspaper o tissue. Remove any labels o glue residue.
Step 2: Choose a sculpture o any clean object that tu want to put inside. Apply super glue to the bottom of the object.
Step 3: Glue the figure to the underside of the...
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 Rose Island before its destruction
Rose Island before its destruction
-The Republic of Rose Island (Respubliko de la Insulo de la Rozol in Esperanto, the official language of the once-micronation)
-Area: .04 km (4305 sq. ft.)
-Date of foundation: June 24, 1968
-Leader: President Giorgio Rosa
-Language: Esperanto
-Currency: Mill
-Location: Adriatic Sea, between Cesnatico and Rimini, Italy

The Republic of Rose Island (Esperanto: Respubliko de la Insulo de la Rozoj) was a short-lived micronation on a man-made platform in the Adriatic Sea, 11 km (7 mi) off the coast of the province of Forlì, Italy.

In 1967, Italian engineer Giorgio Rosa funded the construction of a 400...
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FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat o drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why tu have no food.

FRIENDS: Would bail tu out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting siguiente to tu sayin "DAMN!"were screwed"!

FRIENDS: Have never seen tu cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else tu cried...just laugh about it with tu in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks tu to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has tu on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS:...
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1. Don't set things on fuego 2.Don't mock hollister
3. NEVER say "who wants an emo hug?"
4. Never call justin bieber a piece of crap
5. Don't write "lying ho" on thier locker
6. Don't correct their grammar
7. Don't say, "God hates you"
8. Never say "I saw tu at the abortion clinic"
9. Don't tell them their "special"
10. NEVER, EVER, ask, "Was your mom working streets last night?"
11. Never threaten to beat them with a shoe
12. Don't say they have a special medical condition called "bitchitus"

I've learned from personal experience, and no offense, don't mean to affend anyone :)
O-
-heartbeats-
















OW!!!!!!!!!



Shake a chicka.

Ah

As they came into the voodoo
There was sound out...
Like a sheepdog.
He can make up your apartment.
He let the buck stay
On the carpet.
Sharon ate upon the table.
Makin' sushi... was a navel.
So she rented out the bedroom...
She was struck down...
By a centipede.

Annie are tu walking?
So, Annie are tu walking?
Are tu walking Annie?
Annie are tu walking?
So, Annie are tu walking?
Are tu walking?
Annie are tu walking?
-screams- SO, ANNIE ARE tu WALKING???!!!!
ARE tu WALKING ANNIE??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dramatic choir:
Annie are tu walking?
With your dentist
Are...
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posted by MJlover101
10
-New York City has 11 letters.

-Afghanistan has 11 letters.

-Ramsin Yuseb (the terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.

-George W arbusto, bush has 11 letters.

-The Twin Towers make an "11",

-New York is the 11th state.

-The first plane that crashed into the Twin Towers was flight number 11.

-Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. (9+2=11)

-Flight 77 which also hit the Twin Towers was carrying 65 passengers. (6+5=11)

-The tradegy was September 11, o 9/11. (9+1+1=11)

-The total number of victims inside the planes was 254. (2+4+5=11)

-September 11 is the 254th día of the year....
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posted by reb1009
3
1. bugmenot[/url] website that forces tu to register.

2. DailyLit – read your favorito! libros por correo electrónico (on your PC, mobile, etc.).

3. FranceRadio – neat MP3 buscar Engine that lets tu Find, Play and Download favorito! MP3s for FREE.

4. google SMS – provides mobile users with a quick access (via SMS) to a wide range of practical information and tools (i.e. business listings (pizzerias, shops, etc.), weather, movie listings, driving directions, currency converter and lots more.

5. Podlinez – listen to your favorito! podcasts from any phone. Just enter the RSS feed url for the desired podcast...
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posted by spunkyonyx
3
Poem i worte before i got together with my boyfriend!!!

When did my feelings get so deep
Why did they take that big long leap
Going from friend to crush
What a rush
And I don't think he knows

Since when did his smile make me go weak
Since when did his tears make mine start to leak
Why does this happen when I'm always so strong
When people called me wonder woman I guess they were wrong
And I don't think he knows

When he talks I cant help but watch his lips
To notice their shape and curves when they dip
Wait, why am I looking? I don't even know
And I cant help but wonder if he even knows

His...
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posted by sweetangel222
5
1- eat bubble gums

2- relax on the sofa

3- turn on TV
and raise it's sound to highest level.

4-play música players and raise it loud.


5- put your gums in inicial door on the lock.

6- dance to the music.

7-switch on the computer.

8- turn on the air condition

9- play in your parents stuff
"Mix them up"
10- eat plátano and throw it on your neighbor door.

11- turn on the lights.
12- after electric gone,fire a Candle then feel it

13- switch on the electric lock .
14- jump up down from sofa.
posted by iluvsmj
4
1. When tu are choosing a seat, point at someone and say loudly in a childish voice, "I don't want to sit to that guy, he smells funny!"

2. Everytime there is a gun shot, scream, "Hit the floooor!", jump to the floor and cover your head.

3. Quote all dialogue five segundos after it's dicho on screen.

4. Ask the person at the ticket counter "Do tu come here often?"

5. Start an standing ovation at the end of the movie.

6. Become a bookie. Take bets on which character (or audience member) will die first.

7. Throw palomitas de maiz, palomitas de maíz in the air and yell, "It's snowing"

8. Clap and cheer when the good guys gets killed....
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User: No.


Cleverbot: Yes.


User: I hat u.


Cleverbot: tu what amor me ah.


User: I what amor tu ah.


Cleverbot: amor is a state of being. amor is freedom. amor is jumping from a cliff with a smile and knowing tu won't hit the ground. That is love.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes it does.

User: DOES THE Valiente LITTLE tostadora NEED TO SLAP A BITCH?!

Cleverbot: Yes is does.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: We have 3 kids, xavier, gertrude, and amnda.

User: No. It's over 9000. I've already told tu that OVER 9000 TIMES!

Cleverbot: What would interest you. Tell me and I will blabber about it.

User: Cats.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Blabber...
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posted by LadyL68
1
♥If you're asking if I need you,♥
♥The answer is forever♥


♥If you're asking if I'll leave you♥
♥ The answer is never♥



♥If you're asking what I value,♥
♥The answer is you♥




♥If you're asking if I amor you♥
♥The answer is I do♥








☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮

















READ THIS!!! I didn't write this poem, I found it earlier today.
34 misceláneo facts about me..:)


1. My name is Emily.

2. I will always stick up for what I beleive in.

3. I really want a pet that's not a fish.

4. Cheryl Cole is my idol and inspiration.

5. música is my life.

6. I amor to sing and songwrite.

7. I can do interesting things with my lips (yeah, my lips...)

8. I amor to dance, act and sing.

9. I play guitar.

10. A lot of people pick on me at school, but I also have the most amazing friends, and they mean the world to me.

11. I amor to write poems.

12. I want to be an actor, singer o dancer when I'm older.

13. calle dancing is the most amazing feeling.

14. I'm...
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posted by Cantwait4book5
24
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn tu dicho the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely, unicornios

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampiros are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely, The titanic

Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your libros are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely, Anonymous


Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear Boyfriend,
I can make...
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posted by Insane4ever
10
This is a lista of misceláneo 10 things that just make me seem like an idiot...b4 u start lectura them....sry for all the typing mistakes il make.....if i make them.....ok just read....

1.i walk into walls often
2.i crash my bike into buildings all the time
3.i try to get high por eating peanuts
4.i sometimes walk into the same muro right after i walk into it the 1st time!!!
5.i poke my own eye
6.i say "peanut is a mooooo" wery often
7.i trip on flat surfaces
8.i walk into trees 2
8b.ok i walk into anything solid
9.i trip 60% of the time im getting out of the bus
10.my life dream is to eat a giant pizza.....n then throw it up on someone i hate

thank tu for your time il be sure 2 make más lists of my fatal retard-ness o how ever....i hope u had a good laugh.....so bye n maní, cacahuete is a mooooo!!!
yes this was an acual reportar i had 2 do 4 class

    Have tu ever heard of Euthanasia? Well It’s commonly known as assisted suicide, which either way dicho is illegal. But I believe that we should legalize it for medical reasons. Legalizing euthanasia would help ease suffering of terminally ill patients. It would be inhuman and unfair to make them endure the unbearable pain.
    In case of individuals misery from terminal diseases o in conditions where effective treatment wouldn’t affect their quality of life; they should be dado the choice weather...
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