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posted by 1-2vampire
3
The Brittish Nursery Rhyme about Bloody Mary - Mary Tudor - o Mary I.

Mary Mary quite contrary,
how does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells
And pretty maids all in a row


We thought it was about a girl named Mary who liked gardening o something - WRONG.

It is in fact about Mary Tudor, or, más commenly reffered to as Bloody Mary.

Contrary - Means changing things just for the sake of it (Mary Tudor changed Britain back into a Roman Catholic country after her father and her brother changed it into a Protestant way)

How does your Garden Grow? - Mary wanted a baby very badly, but she...
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1. Guys may be flirting around all día but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

2. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

5. tu have to tell a guy what tu really want before he gets the message clearly.

6. Guys amor their moms o grandmas.

7. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

8. tu can never understand him unless tu listen to him.

9. Beware. Guys can make gossips...
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posted by ilovepenguins
9
1. At the airport, wear a uniform and claim tu are the pilot, get annoyed if they don't believe tu but DONT give up, see how far tu can get ( WARNING, may result in tu being arrested)

2. Whilst boarding the plane, say in a loud voice "THAT WING SURE DOES LOOK RUSTY!!"

3. When everyone is seated, do your own demonstration of what to do in an emergency, let this include 'comical' situations such as "in the (likely) event of the plane setting alight and becoming a plummeting fireball of death, please remember to tighten your seatbelt" look surprised when tu are the only one laughing.

4. when...
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just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped por terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds estola it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket estola it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...
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I never thought I would be doing a lista like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this lista with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please comentario but be polite. Also, always comentario because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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posted by FlufflyHands
1
Everyone is putting stuff up about Walmart, I was smart enough to think of CVS :D (I made these up on my own with no one elses help btw)

1. Resort the medicine aisle

2. Run around like an idiot until tu are told to stop, once the person who stopped turns around do it again, repeat this process until your told to leave, then run out like an idiot

3. Go up to the cash register and tell the clerk that someone is "poaching" medicine, then run out of the store

4. Take the magazines tu see and tear them to pieces, then go up to the front (were the cash register is) and throw the pieces up the air and...
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posted by OmegaLeader
3
(Found it on the internet thought it was pretty interesting.)

You call your victim and tu want to confuse them. No laughing o anything, just a normal voice like someone would call you. Me and my friends do this a lot.


Script:
You call the person...

Person: Hello?
You: Hello?
Person: Uh, hi. Who is this and what do tu want?
You: What? Oh no no no no no! It is tu who is calling me. Ok, so what did tu need?
Person: No no I didn't call you. tu called me. Wait, who is this??
You: NO! I didn't call you! tu are the one who called me! Now i ask one más time who are tu and why did tu call my at this...
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Haha, Some Funny Things To Do While Class Is Going On.. :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-------------~~~~~~~~~­~~~­~~~­~

1) Bring some libros to class and read them instead of paying attention o doing any work.

2) Walk around class begging for spare change.

3) Chew on your arm until someone notices.

4) Change seats every time the teacher turns his/her back.

5) After the teacher explains something, laugh really loud and say "Oh, now I get it!"

6) Lick yourself clean like a cat does.

7) After the teacher has explained something, say "Quite right, old bean" in the typical old english style.

8) Sing your questions...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan.

If tu consider it a sport to gather your comida por drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all día hoping that the comida will swim by, tu might live in Michigan .

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each año because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, tu might live in Michigan .

If your local Dairy queen is closed from November through April, tu might live in Michigan .

If tu instinctively walk like a pingüino, pingüino de for five months out of the year, tu might live in Michigan .

If someone in a store offers...
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posted by Hinata-Snow
2
I got this from the joke app I have. Well, enjoy!

25 facts of life
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. tu will never find anybody who can give tu a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. People who feel the need to tell tu that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling tu that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed por the federal government is entertainment.
5. tu should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests tu think she's pregnant unless tu can see an...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Solve the puzzles por saying them out loud, over and over, faster and faster, repeating the phrase, until tu "hear" the answer.

Example: LAWN SAND JEALOUS (place) Answer: Los Angeles

1. SHOCK CUSSED TOE (person)

2. SAND TACKLE LAWS (fictional character)

3. MY GULCH HOARD UN (person)

4. MOW BEAD HICK (book)

5. TALL MISCHIEF HER SUN (person)

6. CHICK HE TUB AN AN US (product)

7. THOUGH TIGHT AN HICK (thing)

8. AISLE OH VIEW (phrase)

9. TUB RAID HEAP HUNCH (TV show)

10. CARESS TROUGHER CLUMP US (person)

11. DOCKED coche fúnebre WHOSE (person)

12. THUMB ILL KEY WAKE OWL LICKS HE (place)

13. AGE ANT HUB BLOWS HEAVEN...
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posted by gossipgirlxoxo
10
1.When your roommate comes in, pretend that tu are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After tu hang up, say "That was your mom She dicho she’d call back".

2.Buy a jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.

3.Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

4.Keep a tarántula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say “Oh, he’s…… around here somewhere….

5.Shoot rubber bands...
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-The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

-Our eyes never grow, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

-A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph.

-The most common blood type in the world is type O.

-The rarest blood type in the world is type A-H, less than 12 people have it.

-Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.

-You consume 1/10 of a calorie every time tu lick a stamp.

-It takes más calories to eat a piece of apio than the apio provides tu with.

-Many people think eating pescado makes tu más intelligent.(sorry - it doesn't)

-Some lions mate 50 times a day.

-No...
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posted by Mallory101
4
" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All tu Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's corazón is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...
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Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that tu "like it that way".
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that tu haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every pregunta with another question. As soon as one of tu says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to...
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posted by Feathershine
2
1. Flick pencil erasers at the teacher then deny it
2. Say "I'm annoying u! I'm annoying u! I'm annoying u!.." keep doing it and see the teachers reaction
3. Pass notes in class, and when they tell u to stop say "we were sharing notes"
4. During Suisse/tests when everything is quiet say "Why is it so quiet in here?"
5. During tests when your done, turn in your chair if someone else is done, start whispering across the room to them
6. When your in the hallways push people and yell "PUSH AND SHOVE!!"
7. During tests/quizes turn to someone who's finished and mimic them
8. Steal peoples supplies then...
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posted by DramaQueen1020
Sad Stories About AIDS


I found these stories online. These are true stories.

I used to know Josephat and his lovely family of a wife, 2 daughters and a son. He used to live in a town 1,000Km from the city. The town is on the Tanzania Zambia border. He used to come to the city many times during the año on his pickup camioneta, van but when I did not see him for over a año I inquired from his cousin. The cousin informed me that he had a motor accident on the Dar es Salaam Zambia Highway. He died on the spot. That was 6 years ago. I had forgotten about him and family till yesterday when I met his cousin...
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posted by someone_save_me
6
These are just some, más will probably be added later.

I hate:
-Animal abusers
-Child abusers
-Butthurt moralfags (If tu get mad at me saying moralfags, well then, tu must be new here. I'm not homophobic.)
-3/4 the mainstream crap on the radio
-Jersey Shore
-Homophobes
-People who don't thank tu when tu open a door for them
-Toddlers and Tiaras
-People who are always snooPING AS usual I see. /shot so fuckin' hard
-Fuckers who judge people por their appearance
-When my computer breaks down
-Fangirls who get mad at if tu aren't borderline insanely obsessed with the same thing they are (Go on the Michael...
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posted by patrisha727
4
1.1 out of every 8 couples married in the U.S. last año met online?

2.New York City has 578 miles of waterfront?

3.In New York, at the parte superior, arriba of a rascacielos it is possible for people to see snow falling while people on the ground see rain?

4.Passports issued por the US after January 1, 2007 have always-on radio frequency identification chips?

5.Shopping is the most popular domestic trip activity por American travelers?

6.There are almost two million women veterans in the US?

7.The average American woman weighs 140 pounds?

8.The average clothing size for women in America is size 14?

9.The longest street...
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posted by EmzLovesCheryl
1
Hey, this is my piece for my drama exam, without the stage directions. I started escritura it out on here as a way of learning it, then I thought, why no post it? I may as well, it's going to do no harm. :D
So here it is, its rather depressing though. So if tu don't need to be depressed right now, then I suggest tu don't read it. :)




[Give me a break. You’re going to go back to your friends and either forget all about us o tell a story about the hideous freak tu met tonight. tu don’t know me, if tu did, you’d never think we’d be friends. I don’t have friends - except my brother....
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