Dear Noah, We could've sworn tu dicho the ark wasn't leaving until 5. Sincerely, the Unicorns.
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Airlines have banned passengers from taking tweezers on board... Anybody who can hijack a plane using a set of tweezers deserves the freakin plane.
---
The guy who puts down perros at animal shelters must not get alot of women. "And what do tu do for a living?" "...I kill puppies."
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Do tu know what happens to 100% of people who eat carrots? THEY DIE.
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The worst time to have a corazón attack is during a game of charades.
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tu cannot bring sexy back without a receipt.
---
"Want to play the rape game?" "No!!!" "That's the spirit!"
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If tu find yourself lost in the woods, fuck it, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here. I have improved my predicament!",
---
The Sims would be más fun with a Godzilla attack button.
---
If Kanye can steal the mic then Taylor is not actually swift.
---
People think stuttering is a bad thing, but I think it's cool! It's like starting every sentence off with a drumroll. The suspense kills me. What's he gonna say? Car? Carnival? Carnivorous?!
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I can't see an end. I have no control and I don't think there's any escape - I don't even have a inicial anymore. Definitely time for a new keyboard.
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Ask your doctor if you're healthy enough to take Homework. Homework is not for everyone, including those with a life. Do not take homework if tu cannot sit for más than 20 seconds. Isn't it time tu tried homework? Homework. A Million Problems, No Solutions.
---
We need to keep telephone booths around because it'll be hard for superman to change in a cell phone.
---
tu need to wake Green día up at the end of the month.
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The guy who stands in the entrance of Walmart and says "Welcome to Walmart" must say it so many times, he probably wakes up at night yelling it.
---
Saying that Twilight is a vampire film because it has vampiros in it is like saying Lord of the Rings is like Rudolph because it has elves in it.
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tu could most definetly defeat a tyrannosaurus rex in arm wrestling.
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There's always that one really freaky girl in your grade who's obsessed with horses.
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Saying "Jesus" backwards sounds like sausage.
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tu know a movie is ending when the camera zooms out and moves up to the sky.
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Apparantly, 1 in 5 people in this world are chinese. And theres 5 people in my family so it must be 1 of them. Its not me, so it could be my dad, o my mom, o my older brother Colin, o my younger brother Hao-Chang-Lee. But I think it's my brother Colin.
---
It would be interesting to hear what the guys with really deep voices who do the voice for movie trailers sound like at home. 'Coming soon to a mesa, tabla near you... it's cena time'.
---
Ugh, my co-workers bug the heck out of me. One of them's a chick who doesn't know left from right. But she's pretty hot. The other girl's really really smart but I swear, she looks like she came from a nerd convention. And then there's this guy who seems like he's high all the time, and for some reason he brings his dog to work everyday. So yeah, we travel in a bus and solve mysteries and stuff...
---
The only two people who tell the truth in this world are children and drunks.
---
Maybe Squidward is mean because someone estola his pants.
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If tu are what tu eat, then Lord Voldemort was a unicorn.
---
google Earth sees ALL... But can it see why kids amor Cinnamon brindis, pan tostado Crunch?
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Cats: tu don't care what this says, you're just a cat.
---
It would be really awesome to be able to customize error pages. It wouldn't be as depressing to open up a page and see "AW SHIT! tu JUST GOT 404'D, BITCH."
---
Always remember, no matter how bad it seems, things could be worse. I mean, tu could be chased por some psycho with a snake who wants to kill tu because of a prophecy while tu have to go find and kill six pieces of his soul.
---
All Voldemort really needed was a hug.
---
There are four stages of life; 1) tu believe in Santa Claus. 2) tu don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) tu are Santa Claus. 4) tu look like Santa Claus.
---
---
Airlines have banned passengers from taking tweezers on board... Anybody who can hijack a plane using a set of tweezers deserves the freakin plane.
---
The guy who puts down perros at animal shelters must not get alot of women. "And what do tu do for a living?" "...I kill puppies."
---
Do tu know what happens to 100% of people who eat carrots? THEY DIE.
---
The worst time to have a corazón attack is during a game of charades.
---
tu cannot bring sexy back without a receipt.
---
"Want to play the rape game?" "No!!!" "That's the spirit!"
---
If tu find yourself lost in the woods, fuck it, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here. I have improved my predicament!",
---
The Sims would be más fun with a Godzilla attack button.
---
If Kanye can steal the mic then Taylor is not actually swift.
---
People think stuttering is a bad thing, but I think it's cool! It's like starting every sentence off with a drumroll. The suspense kills me. What's he gonna say? Car? Carnival? Carnivorous?!
---
I can't see an end. I have no control and I don't think there's any escape - I don't even have a inicial anymore. Definitely time for a new keyboard.
---
Ask your doctor if you're healthy enough to take Homework. Homework is not for everyone, including those with a life. Do not take homework if tu cannot sit for más than 20 seconds. Isn't it time tu tried homework? Homework. A Million Problems, No Solutions.
---
We need to keep telephone booths around because it'll be hard for superman to change in a cell phone.
---
tu need to wake Green día up at the end of the month.
---
The guy who stands in the entrance of Walmart and says "Welcome to Walmart" must say it so many times, he probably wakes up at night yelling it.
---
Saying that Twilight is a vampire film because it has vampiros in it is like saying Lord of the Rings is like Rudolph because it has elves in it.
---
tu could most definetly defeat a tyrannosaurus rex in arm wrestling.
---
There's always that one really freaky girl in your grade who's obsessed with horses.
---
Saying "Jesus" backwards sounds like sausage.
---
tu know a movie is ending when the camera zooms out and moves up to the sky.
---
Apparantly, 1 in 5 people in this world are chinese. And theres 5 people in my family so it must be 1 of them. Its not me, so it could be my dad, o my mom, o my older brother Colin, o my younger brother Hao-Chang-Lee. But I think it's my brother Colin.
---
It would be interesting to hear what the guys with really deep voices who do the voice for movie trailers sound like at home. 'Coming soon to a mesa, tabla near you... it's cena time'.
---
Ugh, my co-workers bug the heck out of me. One of them's a chick who doesn't know left from right. But she's pretty hot. The other girl's really really smart but I swear, she looks like she came from a nerd convention. And then there's this guy who seems like he's high all the time, and for some reason he brings his dog to work everyday. So yeah, we travel in a bus and solve mysteries and stuff...
---
The only two people who tell the truth in this world are children and drunks.
---
Maybe Squidward is mean because someone estola his pants.
---
If tu are what tu eat, then Lord Voldemort was a unicorn.
---
google Earth sees ALL... But can it see why kids amor Cinnamon brindis, pan tostado Crunch?
---
Cats: tu don't care what this says, you're just a cat.
---
It would be really awesome to be able to customize error pages. It wouldn't be as depressing to open up a page and see "AW SHIT! tu JUST GOT 404'D, BITCH."
---
Always remember, no matter how bad it seems, things could be worse. I mean, tu could be chased por some psycho with a snake who wants to kill tu because of a prophecy while tu have to go find and kill six pieces of his soul.
---
All Voldemort really needed was a hug.
---
There are four stages of life; 1) tu believe in Santa Claus. 2) tu don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) tu are Santa Claus. 4) tu look like Santa Claus.
---
![Emma Whatson [Pics]](http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/35700000/Emma-Whatson-Pics-random-35788545-300-334.jpg)
most stupid preguntas ppl ask in most obvios situations
a fat lady steps on my feet
fat lady : sorry , did that hurt ?
me : no i'm on local anesthesia ... wud u mind trying again ?
a frnd sees me At the cine and asks
friend : what r u doing here ?
me : i sell black tickets tu did'nt know ?
i get a new haircut
friend : u got a new hair cut ?
me : no it's autummn my hair's shedding
A friend calls me at midnight and says
friend : sorry , were tu sleeping ?
me : no I was doing a research on why humans have 2 legs
(my favorito! )
A friend calls on my landline and asks
friend : where r tu ?
me : i'm in the market with the telephone around my neck !!!
ROFL
hope u like it dont forget to comentario
a fat lady steps on my feet
fat lady : sorry , did that hurt ?
me : no i'm on local anesthesia ... wud u mind trying again ?
a frnd sees me At the cine and asks
friend : what r u doing here ?
me : i sell black tickets tu did'nt know ?
i get a new haircut
friend : u got a new hair cut ?
me : no it's autummn my hair's shedding
A friend calls me at midnight and says
friend : sorry , were tu sleeping ?
me : no I was doing a research on why humans have 2 legs
(my favorito! )
A friend calls on my landline and asks
friend : where r tu ?
me : i'm in the market with the telephone around my neck !!!
ROFL
hope u like it dont forget to comentario
