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posted by jessicamc26
1
There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question.
To he first he dicho "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just amor alchol and being drunk man" so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and descripción and he put the man inside and dicho "see tu in 100 years" and locked the door.


To the segundo man he asked the same pregunta and the man replied "oh man I just amor to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of georgeous and beautiful naked women. The man ran inside and the devil dicho "see tu in 100 years" and locked the door.


The third man's answer to the pregunta was "oh man I just amor weed! Im high all the time man and I can't live without it!". The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you've ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying "see tu in 100 years".


100 years later the devil came por to let the three men out. He opened the door to the first man's room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess.
The devil opened the 2nd man's door and the man came running out of the room and cried "IM GAY! IM GAY!". Finally the devil came to the third man's room and opened the door. Sitting in the middle of all the bud, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looked up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek he asked ; "hey man, got a light?"
added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: google
8
added by randomgirl3000
Source: tumblr
8
posted by Thecharliejay
1
Think
1.    1
Realization. Even though it may seem impossible, the truth is, nothing is impossible. If tu keep thinking it's impossible, then it will be. Have faith
2
Analyze the situation. Create a lista of "pros" and "cons" to help tu better understand why you're seeking amor o acceptance from this person.
2.    3
Don't worry about things tu can't help. Acknowledge the impossibility as something that is totally out of your hands (ex: marriage, age, sexuality, hang-ups) and know that if something is meant to be, it will be.
3.    4
Don't...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
7
Researchers in the UK examined más than 1000 jokes and placed them before 36,000 voters to determine the "official" 50 funniest jokes of all time.

And here they are:

50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.

49. A sello walks into a club...

48. Went to the corner comprar - bought 4 corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

46. I'll tell tu what I amor doing más than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo...
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posted by ilovepenguins
7
1. Let's go somewhere where we have to get really dressed up.

2. Wow, tu did your cuticles.

3. I'll pick tu up early, b/c I really want to meet your parents.

4. Want to hit the outlet mall this weekend?

5. If tu want to fecha other guys too, that's cool with me.

6. perros are fine, but gatitos are más cuddly.

7. Hey, that camisa, camiseta looks really good with those jeans.

8. Carson Daly is sooo deep.

9. How can anyone watch boxing? It's totally violent.

10. I can't wait to see the new Freddie Prinze Jr. movie.

11. Hey, today's our "two months from the first día we dicho hi" anniversary.

12. Didn't Gwyenth's outfit...
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added by Pink_Love
6
Part 4 - but still in no particular order

61.
Name: John Hannah (Actor)
From: The Mummy/Sliding Doors
Character: Johnathan/James
Attraction: His scottish accent even though I know he doesn't have it in The Mummy - I still like him



62.
Name: Calvin Harris (Singer)
Attraction: His voice - when I heard I'm Not Alone I just couldn't get enough of it - his voice was just beautiful to me. Alas, he is also Scottish



63.
Name: Jonas Altberg (Singer)
From: Basshunter
Attraction: Well just look at those gorgeous eyes



64.
Name: Mark Strong (Actor)
From: Stardust
Character: Septimus
Attraction: I suppose...
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added by r-pattz
Source: tumblr
1
Ok that's it I'm doing it even if people didn't even wanted me to do it I'm doing it anyways.

Hello everybody welcome to Alpha's parte superior, arriba ten lista (and yes I called it that very unoriginal...) Well I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to lista some of the worst fandoms of all of history. Oh and before I start this list, but it's pretty obvious that this is my opinion and I'm not here to hurt anyone. So here we go!!!!

10. Beliebers- You're probably wondering why this isn't higher and yes I find these fans really annoying!!! This is probably an example of an average crazy fangirl, but I don't...
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added by azkaban
10
added by 050801090907
2
posted by iLuvLouisCarrot
1
“So, Louis, the rumor’s true? Are tu really secretly dating someone?”
Diana asked,
I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat. It was all Harry’s fault. Everyone thought I was dating someone because he dicho that in the last interview we had.
For fucks sake, I didn’t know what the giddy aunt to say. I looked over at Harry, who was trying not to laugh.
“Yeah. Actually I am.”
It was a spur of the moment thing. I was just… errrggghhhhh.
The crowd gasped. Diana looked shocked. .
“Can tu tell us who it is?”
She asked. She literally shoved the microphone in my face.
“I would tell you,...
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posted by ThatDarnHippo
3
This a little something I wrote for my English class after we read The Modest Proposal. We had to write our own modest proposals on modern día issues, and mine is on gay rights. It's short and to the point, so I won't be wasting too much of your time.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). amor o hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.


A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years hace were blacks dado the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination...
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added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: google
9
posted by xxXsk8trXxx
3
1. Ask your teacher "Is mayonaise an instrument?"

2. Take a drummer's drumstick (or if you're a drummer, than your own!) and poke people with it

3. Ask if tu can try the harmomonica o the recorder

4. Play Sweet Victory (in the Spondgebob episode Band Geeks) as a surprise duiring a concert. Plan it with others in advance before, though.

5.Purpously forget your instrument. If your teacher asks why, say "My pet alien ate it, than a viking killed him, than it swam in a pool and drowned, than I recovered his body and Chuck Noris beat it up and ate it, than he threw it up and made it into shampoo,...
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added by fanfly
Source: wallcoo.com
added by Rodz
Source: photobucket
added by 27-5
Well, I opened up my mailbox the other día and pulled out a letter adressed to me from some...person named "Kether Smith". And first thing I thought was "Kether.... that's a weird name!" but I opened up the letter anyway hoping that this "Kether" was a secret admierer o something sending me some money, but insted, the letter dicho (word for word! I'm typing this strait out of the letter!)

Dahlia,
    I know that you’ll want to come looking for me, but don’t. I’m not worth it. tu remember that collar I gave you? That holds some of my power within it, so it’s okay...
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posted by reb1009
1
The Original Rejection Hotline®: 212-660-2245

Psychiatric Hotline: 973-409-3277

Santa Hotline (Not for Kids!): 772-257-4661

It Could Always Suck More!: 401-992-4050

Bad Breath Notification Number: 631-960-7187

The "Make It 18" Hotline: 772-257-4488

The "Human Resources" Hotline: 786-837-9893

marihuana Legalization Line: 781-452-0647

How To Keep an Idiot Entertained: 401-285-0696

Outsource-A-Friendship To India: 267-436-5128

(i need to have a longer artical so... lalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

Rebecca Roll: 781-452-2079